Back to Basics - Session 2

Back to Basics - AA'2 12 Steps

New hope through working the 12 steps of AA

Before we begin the Fourth and Fifth Steps, we would like to acknowledge a book written by Wally P. of Tucson, Arizona. Wally's book is entitled, Back to Basics, and his book is a result of years of research and interviewing of some of AA's members who were around in the early days when success rates in AA were so high. Wally's book provides concrete evidence about the way our founders got their protégés through the steps promptly and used a class-format for years in order to help as many recover as possible.

Also before we begin the Fourth and Fifth Steps, let's review what the Big Book has to say about Steps Four and Five.

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

In the Big Book, the authors tell us why we need to admit our shortcomings to another person. They say:

"...The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. (Do you know what "vital" means? It is defined as, "necessary for life.") Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. (Do you know what those supposedly easier methods are in AA? Here are a few: "Just go to a meeting." "Just don't drink." "Think through the drink.") Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, (that would mean doing Steps One, Two, and Three and going to meetings,) they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that that they have never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness, and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story."

Wally points out in his book that we share our inventory because we are great at self-deception: aren't we the ones who used to say that we didn't have a drinking problem? Didn't we tell ourselves over and over that we were doing fine, even as we were sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss of alcoholism?

Since we're not good judges of character, especially our own, we confide in someone else. Only another person can see us as we really are.

The authors give us specific instructions for taking the Fifth Step. They tell us that we are to take action immediately:

"When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a talk. We explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it."

So, what are we about to do?

ANSWER: We are about to face and be rid of the things that are blocking me from God, myself, and my fellows. We are about to get rid of my egotistical way of thinking and behaving.

Why do we have to do it?

ANSWER: Because all my life, I have been driven by a lack of humility, by my self-will, by my egoism, and by my fears, and if I don't get rid of my pride and ego and fears, they're going to continue to make life miserable for me and for everyone around me and, eventually, kill me.)

The authors provide us with more directions:

"We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past."

So let's do the writing portion of the inventory now.

Download the Inventory forms here (inventory.doc or inventory.txt): Download Files

USE THE FOUR INVENTORY SHEETS IN THIS WAY:

1. On the sheet referencing resentments, list along the left side the names of those people or institutions and principles (i.e., rules, laws, sayings) that offend you.

2. After listing all of those names, go back to the first one and explain why you resent each, why you are angry with each, or what's wrong with each. Use short phrases or key words (short bullets) please. (Ex. Suppose you listed Dad. Why? What's wrong with him? Deserted me -- was rude -- arrogant -- mean.)

3. Complete that information for all the names on the list.

4. Go to the fear sheet. List the things you worry about, one item per line. Skip a line between each.

5. Go to the sex inventory sheet. List all the people you have had sexual relations with.

6. After listing all the names, go back and write what happened to end each. If the relations are still on going, write a few remarks about the status of the relationship.

7. Now,. let's go back to the first list regarding resentments and see what we might see. The purpose of the inventory is to find our truth., to get a new vision for you.

In fact, Steps 1-6 are all about seeing your truth: You're powerless over alcohol. Your life is unmanageable if you have some of those traits on page 52 of the Big Book. Your behavior around alcohol has been insane. You have tried to run your life on self-will; it hasn't worked; neither have your efforts to do something about booze and an unmanageable life. You don't have the power to solve any of your troubles that you are causing yourself. You must do 4-12 to get the power. You are being blocked from the power because of your self, your ego.

Page 459 tells us that all Twelve Steps are designed to kill the old self so a new self, the real one that God created, can emerge. We know that the truth will set us free, but we know that the ego, the self, is going to fight for its life. It will want to deny all of the truth you are offered in the inventory process. It will become angry. Yet for us to be reborn, the self must die. So let's open our minds and see what truth might be revealed from looking at your inventory.

8. The second column is where you listed the things in others that bother you. Our resentments are our #1 offender, we are told. If we don't get rid of them, we drink. And for us to drink is for us to die. So let's see if we might gain a new perspective by looking at your second column.

We are told in the Bible that we must not criticize the speck in my eye when you cannot see the plank in your own. In other words, in column two, we practice what psychologists call "projection." I take what is objectionable in me and subconsciously project it to others. That is, I point out in others what my worse faults are. In the second column, we say: "If you can see it, you can be it; if you spot it, you got it." So if we really want to know ourselves, our truth, let's look at the things we said that we find objectionable in others and we will see where we did the same, are doing the same, and might do the same again in the future if we don't change.

So let's look at the example around your Dad. Where, in your past or in your present, have YOU been rude? List some specific instances, using the back of your sheet. Now, list some times when you have been arrogant. Next, list some times when you have been mean. Who have you deserted? (Maybe you have not physically left anyone who cared about you, but when have you deserted others mentally, psychologically, emotionally, if not in fact?) Be honest. Be thorough.

Now, having completely that list, let us ask: have you ANY right to judge your dad when you have done the same? It would be unbelievably humorous, were it not so sad, that WE drunks (having lived the way we live) would have the audacity to judge anyone! We have no right. And how can we be mad at anyone for doing the things we have done? Next, consider this in each case on your list: often, the things people do that make us angry were really in response to something WE did before their actions that made us mad. (Usually, we had an expectation. We wanted something. They didn't do or say or behave the way we wanted. So we made demands. tried being mean or kind, depending on which we thought would best help us get what we want. It's always about self. That is the only issue we ever really have. We get resentful is we think about a time in the past when we did not get what we wanted; we get fearful if we think about a time in the future when we might not get what we want; we get angry when we think we are not getting what we want or need in the present. It's always about something we want that we are getting. Pretty selfish, huh?)

Now, go through each case on your list and see where you have done what you are angry at them about; where you wanted something or feared something. List where you were selfish -- hanging on to something you had; self-seeking, wanting something for yourself that others have; dishonest; or fearful. (Ex. With Dad. Where were you being selfish around his leaving? For whatever reason, he could not stay with your mother for another moment. Maybe he left with what you think was bad reason or a good reason, but the fact is, he HAD to leave. Now where are you being selfish around that? Well you wanted him to stay in a horrible, unbearable situation so he'd be there. But in that situation, do you think he could have done what was in your best interest? Maybe God removed him for a reason. Maybe it protected you from something you have not before even imagined. And if you decide to divorce someday, will you consult the children first and allow them to make your final decision? Pretty unreasonable notion, isn't it?) Go back through your list now and write out where you exhibited the column-two traits you listed for others; where you were selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, or fearful?

9. Do you like the new picture you have of yourself? Most of us did not. S o we go to the sheet we gave you earlier, the one that refers to ideals, and you write out what your ideals are for the future. Write, "God, help me to be less rude, less arrogant, less mean, less selfish, less dishonest, less self-seeking, etc."

10. Now, let's go back to the list. The Third Step information made clear that out troubles come from our playing God. Few of us ever stopped to study what God's job is and see how we were trying to do God's job. So we are inserting a section here to show what God's roles are and then how WE play God through showing you some of the things we say that indicate that subconsciously we are playing God:

{See the "Playing God" at the end. There's a link to a page which talks in detail how how we can come to recognize some of the ways in we play God.}

11. Now, let's go to your fear list. We can see that fear has driven us much of our lives. Most of us were especially fearful of abandonment and economic insecurity, among other things. Because of our split thinking (p. 21, Jekyll and Hyde) we often fear the opposite of what we say we fear. So where you skipped a line in your listings, go back now and write in the opposite and see if that might be a fear, too. (EX.: Fear of my spouse leaving. Is it possible that you are also afraid that the spouse will stay? That is, that you are going to stay in this relationship and be forced to be intimate, to really open up, to be vulnerable, to love unconditionally, to give rather than get? Look at that honestly. Go through each fear and its opposite and see which are real. Once you see the things you worry about and know that these are the second group of thing that rob us of our freedom, right behind resentments, you should now transfer those fears to your ideals list and ask God to remove them.

12. Now, let's go to the sex inventory sheet. The third thing that robs us of freedom -- of peace of mind -- is the harm we have done to others. And because we are in need of what the Big Book calls an "overhauling" in the area of sex, we single out those relations especially. It is usually here where many of our the harms we have done really originated. Look at each person on this list. Then write on a sheet of paper how you may have harmed that person through the sex act. Did you break a wedding vow in the process? Did you help them break a wedding vow? Or did you, through encouraging a sexual relation, create guilt in that person, encouraging that person to do something that really goes contrary to deep moral convictions? Did you create guilt that affected their other relations? Did you provide something that led to a degree of excitement that left them displeased with their other partners? You see, the day-to-day routine of marriage cannot compare with the secretive titillation of an affair. Did your participation in an activity with that level of excitement harm a current relation or future relations for that person? Did you create stress that left them unable to love others in their lives effectively, such as their children or their spouse, or some future prospect for marriage with them? Did you spread a disease? Did you damage their self-esteem, using them as a commodity and then discarding them when you were done with them? Did you lie about your intentions or about "love" in order to manipulate them to satisfy you and thus damage their trust in other people? Write about each and identify where you committed these or other harms.

13. Now, list where you were selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, afraid, and inconsiderate in each case. Next, list where you aroused jealousy, suspicion, or bitterness. (Be thorough. For example, suppose the wife is in the kitchen cooking and you are sitting on the couch waiting for her to wait on you. Don't you think that might arouse jealousy? Don't you think SHE might like to sit down every now and then and be waited on, or at least have some help? Have you unconsciously assigned her roles? Cook? Dishwasher? Lover in the bedroom? Well, roles are things, so you have dehumanized her by reducing her to a thing. List those instances when you have behaved in those fashions.)

14. Now, after looking over your past behaviors, your selfishness, your use of other people for your benefit, the times you are driven by fear and worry, and the harm you have done others, do you like what you see? Hopefully, by now, you should see that your behavior has been far from "ideal," so transfer the ideals that you would like to manifest in the future to your ideal sheet and write them in this way: "God make me caring where I have been a user of others; God, help me want to give rather than try always to take," etc.

15. Finally, you have seen that you are powerless over alcohol; that you are powerless over managing your life effectively; that you are powerless to put together a decent life and decent relations with your own will; that your resentments and fears and harms done to others have all blocked you from freedom, from being happy, joyous and free. Therefore, we suggest that you take the four sheets, that you get up a little early tomorrow morning, and that you read out loud to God the things that are written on each sheet.

Try that for at least 7 days and see what happens.

We are now well on our way toward recovering from alcoholism. The Big Book authors state that we are in the process of having a spiritual experience and as a result, our obsession to drink is being removed.

Next, the authors tell us to return home and take one hour to review Steps One through Five and to complete Steps Six and Seven. We will give you a guide to follow to complete Six and Seven; you can dowload it from the Resources page. Click here to: Download Files

Using the Step Six guide, look carefully to see if there is anything else that we did not discuss. If other fears or resentments or shortcomings or harm done come to mind, add them to your morning prayer guide. So you will go home now and spend one hour alone. Then tomorrow morning, begin the morning prayers.

By the way, it is of no significance whether you believe that the action of prayer you're going to take tomorrow morning can help or not. All that matters is that you do it, knowing that it has worked for millions of us. No matter what lingering doubts you might have, do it anyway. Nothing else has worked, so you may as well try what worked for us.

God bless you and these efforts. Since the book says that we should read our inventory to a "person or persons," you might now want to find someone you respect and trust in the fellowship of AA or in the ministry and read what you have written to that person. Often, others can see things and point them out to us that we cannot ourselves see. Remember, Step Five says: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. You must meet with someone else and admit these wrongs. The book offers advice on pages 72-75 about choosing someone to read it to. You must do this to recover. God bless you, and may God give you the strength to complete all parts of this inventory work. Recovery is dependent upon it.

(Important Note: On page 74, the Big Book offers some suggestions about who you should choose to do Step Three with, and by implication, who you will share your inventory with. One of the suggestions is that it be done with your spouse. The experiences that some of us have had in reading the inventory with a spouse make us seek more often one of the other two. We encourage you to share your inventory with someone in AA, someone you trust, and someone who has some appreciation for the work. If you do not know AAs in your area, E-mail us. We will try to help you find people in your area with whom you can connect.)

Back to Basics--AAs 12 Steps HOME PAGE

To dowload the Guide for Steps 6 & 7, click here: Download Files

To do Steps 8 and 9, click here: Back to Basics - Steps 8 & 9