Back to Basics - Session 3

Back to Basics - AA'2 12 Steps

New hope through working the 12 steps of AA

Before we begin the Eighth and Ninth Steps, we would like to acknowledge a book written by Wally P. of Tucson, Arizona. Wally's book is entitled, Back to Basics, and his book is a result of years of research and interviewing of some of AA's members who were around in the early days when success rates in AA were so high. Wally's book provides concrete evidence about the way our founders got their protégés through the steps promptly and used a class-format for years in order to help as many recover as possible.

We are taking the Twelve Steps as described in the Big Book in order to find God, Who will free us from the deadly affliction of alcoholism.

We congratulate you for having the willingness, the honesty, and the humility to do what is necessary to recover from alcoholism. You are well on your way to that promised spiritual awakening.

Our book tells us that, at this point in the work, we know God better; and some have asked how that can be. That happens because in the inventory phase, we found out what God's job is so that we could stop playing God. That process made clear that it's God's job, not mine, to do the following:

1. Control others

2. Judge others

3. Tell other people how to live

4. Decide the fate of others

5. Have expectations of others

6. Define the standards by which people should live.

So, seeing what God's job is, what God does, we DO know God better. We also know our subconscious minds better, because we see where we tried to do God's job for years without really knowing what was driving us.

Before going on, we'd like to discuss your Sixth Step action and see what other defects and liabilities you uncovered in that exercise beyond what you saw in Steps Four and Five.

Now, it is time for us to ask the Sixth Step question. This is the 2nd question that only an egotistical drunk, living in delusion, would even pause to answer. (Remember the first one was: "Do you think there might be a Power in the universe that is even greater than you?") So here's the sixth step question:

Are you now ready to have God remove from you all the things which you have admitted are objectionable?

Now, we've just seen where we have been selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, fearful, and worrisome, unsuccessfully trying to live a life run on self-will; being resentful and angry; living in delusion with no peace, no serenity, separated from God, others and our real self. And we see that has caused all our problems in life, yet some of us have to stop and think about that question! Amazing!

We say: "Let's see -- am I now ready to have God remove from me all the things which I have admitted are objectionable? Do I really want God to remove these things I've never been able to get rid of on my own? Do I really want God to remove from me all the things that have caused all my troubles in my life? Hmmm. Let me consider that and get back to you!

We trust that you are not among the group that needs additional time to consider this question, so we ask you: "Are you now ready to have God remove from you all the things which you have admitted are objectionable?

Next, having come to our senses, we realize that we DO want those things removed. So our Book asks us to consider another question: Can God take them all away?

Again, you do not have to believe God can do it to go ahead and ask God to do it. Why? Our Book speaks of faith and trust. Many of us, when we came into AA, said we did not have faith. Yet we got up in a dark room and flipped a switch and had faith that the light would come on; we drove constantly, sometimes meeting other cars at 70 miles per hour, and a small strip of yellow paint is the only thing that kept us a few feet apart as we met and passed; we went to the doctor and he wrote something which we could not read in Latin and we carried it to a pharmacist and we took the medicine we were given with the faith that it would make us feel better.

And we came to see that, in fact, we have lived our entire lives based on nothing BUT faith. We simply never applied it to our benefit because we had not seen before that we are powerless and we must have the Power that applied faith can bring if we are to have a life worth living. So that brings us to the next concept that the book discusses: "trust". "Faith" is a noun. It calls for no action. "Trust," as used in our book -- as in "Trust God" -- is a verb. That calls for action. So to continue the healing process that we have begun, we did not have to have faith to move ahead in the process. But we DID have to take some action in order for the trust to manifest. All these objectionable things will not be taken away until we ask -- our past experience shows that. Many of us asked without being sure it would work. But for those of us who asked, we ALL found that it works. So let's ask.

Please ask God in prayer:

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me, every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.

Now, two things should happen:

1. We will continue to ask until it happens fully; and

2. We will let it manifest..

That means, if you have a fear of abandonment and you ask God that it be removed, you will prove that you are willing to let it go. That means you will never again go a meeting and whine about abandonment!

It is time now to clear away the wreckage of our past. We do this by making amends and restitution. Restitution is defined as "the giving back of something that was taken away."

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Now, please take out your inventory forms, as they are the heart of our Eighth Step amends list. But we also need to ask God to reveal to us any others we have harmed but who are not yet on our list, and we'll add their names now as we move on to Step Nine.

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people, whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

The amends process is explained as the authors tell us what to do:

"...Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember, it was agreed at the beginning that we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol."

There are five categories of amends, and we are going to give you a guide with the key suggestions in the Book for each type. Read the book sections on Steps Eight and Nine also, but let's begin now with the guide.

GUIDE TO THE NINTH STEP

The Big Book divides the amends that we need to make into five types. We'll list each of the amends that you need to make according to the type. Then, before approaching anyone, reread the advice offered by the Book regarding each type. Also, seek counsel. Finally, pray each morning regarding all the items listed. Now, label each with a plus (+) or a minus -), depending on your willingness to make the amends -- a plus indicating immediate readiness and the minus noting the ones you feel more hesitant about.

AMENDS - TYPE ONE

The people we hate/resent.

It may be some have done us more harm than we have done them.
With a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth.
It is harder to go to an enemy than a friend, but the benefit is greater.
Go in a helpful, forgiving spirit.
Do not criticize or argue.
We are there to sweep off OUR side of the street.
Nothing can be accomplished until we do so.
Discuss your faults, not his or hers.
Be calm, frank, open.
It doesn't matter if they accept the apology or throw us out of the office. We've done our part.

Now, transfer the names from your resentment and other lists, except for family members. Add any other names that have come to you that you need to repair relationships with.

AMENDS -- TYPE TWO

The people/institutions owed money:

Most alcoholics owe money.
We don't dodge anyone.
In some cases, some of us had to disclose our alcoholism by way of explaining what drove us and what we are now trying to do.
We do not try to beat anyone out of anything, but we arrange a deal that we can live up to. Arranging time payments has worked for many of us.
Let them know you're sorry.
Drinking made us slow to pay.
If we fear facing our creditors, we often drink.

List those you owe money.

AMENDS -- TYPE THREE

Incidents of criminal offense:

Some of us padded expense accounts, fell behind on child support, wrote bad checks, and committed other offenses of the law.

We remind ourselves that we must be willing to go to any lengths to correct these mistakes if we are to stay sober.
We don't have the power to do this.
We ask God for strength and direction.
We don't worry about the consequences. We know God will protect us if we try to do the right thing for a change.
We may lose position or reputation, though most of us have experienced that already.
We are willing anyway.
We must not shrink at anything.

List those you owe money.

QUALIFICATION: (Caution where others are concerned)

Sometimes others are involved (spouses, children, other family members). We don't sacrifice them to save ourselves. Before taking drastic action that might affect another, we get their consent, we consult others, we ask God to help. If the drastic step is still indicated, we move ahead.

AMENDS -- TYPE FOUR

Incidents of domestic trouble:

We may have committed adultery.
After years with a drunk, spouses get worn out, resentful, and uncommunicative.
We begin to feel self-pity (sorry for ourselves)
So we look around for another, feeling justified, when WE were really the source of the problem in the first place.
Sometimes that leads to guilt feelings.
We have to do something about this.
If the spouse does not know, we do not always say it is best to tell.
If she knows something, we admit our fault.
We have no right to name the names of others involved.
Keep in mind we are dealing with the most horrible human emotion: jealousy.
Don't risk more combat over this.
Some think just being sober in the home now is enough. It isn't.
We have treated spouses and family in a shocking way.
We have been like a tornado.
We broke hearts and uprooted affection, and our selfishness kept the home in turmoil.
Just saying we are sorry will not do.
We sit with the family and analyze the past, not criticizing any of them.
Yes, they may have defects, but many of them were inspired by our behaviors.
We pray each morning for God to show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love.

List the family members we owe amends to.

AMENDS -- TYPE FIVE

Wrongs we can never fully right:

Be very careful about listing anyone or anything here. We only list someone here if we can HONESTLY say that the wrong cannot be righted, and that we WILL right the wrong when we can create the opportunity.

If the case is that they cannot be seen, we write them an honest letter; this can be used for someone who has passed away and to whom you owe an amends.
We don't delay if it can be avoided.
We do not have to be scraping, but we do have to be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble.

Discuss with your sharing partner or the class instructor the circumstances surrounding the amends before you list anyone here.

Now, why would I want to make all these amends? First, because if I'm making a cake with 12 steps in the recipe and I stop with 7, I will never have a cake. Also because Step 7 alone can't purge all the defects. If God alone were in charge of the defects, I wouldn't have had them in the first place. I have to forgive to get forgiveness. Why? Because forgiveness given is a response to forgiveness received. It's like love. A child does not love anything but self. It throws a fit, wanting what it wants when it wants it. If held, cuddled, kissed, loved -- the child learns to love in response. So, too, I cannot forgive unless I receive forgiveness first.

The magic of Step Nine is not that I'm going to go out and forgive. If I hadn't been playing God and judging people, I wouldn't have the notion now that I am the one who dispenses forgiveness. In going to God's kids to work things out, I place myself in a position to receive forgiveness, for somewhere along the way, that is going to be the reaction from some. Now we see that this is for us, not for them. So how they react is of no consequence.

But we see also why just praying and just not drinking is not enough. Dr. Bob -- our Akron, Ohio cofounder -- got sober. But even with Bill W. living in his home to try to help keep him sober, he left town and got drunk because he stopped with Steps Seven and Eight. He found that he could not stay sober until he made his amends. When he realized that, in order to stay sober, he had to do Step Nine, he went out and completed that Step from one morning until midnight that same day. He accomplished this vital step in "one day"! He never took another drink after finishing his amends.

Is it possible for YOU to complete ALL of your amends? On your power -- no. You didn't have the power to quit drinking; you didn't have the power to manage your life effectively; you didn't have the power to figure out what your real problem was; so you don't have the power to make amends. So we ask God to empower us in this part of the process as well. Also, many of us are impatient people. We want everything done in an instant. Self-will drives us "to go -- to go -- to go ...to do -- to do -- to do. Can we finish all of our amends in one day, as Dr. Bob did? Maybe not, but let us ask you this: isn't there at least ONE amends you can make before going to bed tonight?

A member said that he was having trouble making his amends. We pointed out that he was really not convinced that what the Book says -- namely, "to drink is to die" -- is his truth, because if he were, he'd be doing anything possible -- going to any length -- to set up arrangements to settle the amends he owes.

Finally, to review, you've got resentments that you have held onto for years. You never had the power to let go of them. You have amends that you have owed for years. You never had the power to correct them. So we urge you to continue to use the four sheets you got during inventory to guide you through the prayers that our Big Book offers in order for you to become empowered to do the amend-making that you must do in order to live. There is no feeling like the one we get when we make our last amends. It's a level of freedom that very few experience (which is why you'll seldom hear amends-making discussed in AA meeting). So, how much freedom do you want? How soon do you want to get it? Our EXPERIENCES emphatically prove that we have no future until we clean up the past, so, as the Book says: :We ask for strength -- we do not shrink at anything."

The authors conclude the Ninth Step with another list of benefits. They tell us precisely what is going to happen once we commence to clear away the wreckage of our past. They describe these benefits as "promises." The Big Book is filled with promises [147 in fact.]. These are the things we are promised to receive before we finish even half of our amends:

"If we are painstaking [that means, "willing to take this pain"] about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. [Halfway would be, if you have 20 amends to make, before you make 10 of them, these things come true for you.] We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic security will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. Please notice that these promises don't say: "Well, now you're gonna have a good day." Instead, what a message of hope! It is almost beyond comprehension that all of these wonderful events will occur if we make amends to those whom we have harmed. But, they will happen -- that's a guarantee. Yet you don't have the power to do what is necessary to get these promises in your life, namely, make amends.

There is a price for everything I do in AA, and there is a price for everything I don't do in AA; there is a reward for every action I take in AA; there is misery waiting for every action I skip in AA.

So we have to look at the 11th Step now for you to get the tools necessary to complete this job.

It is in the Eleventh Step that we draw near to God during prayer, and it is in our meditation time, or quiet time, that God is disclosed to us. They are implying that God is going to talk to us. Sometimes He speaks very softly. That's why we have to be very quiet and listen very carefully. [Most of us cannot sit quietly at first. Drinking became a habit because we did it repeatedly. If you repeatedly try to sit quietly, it too will become a habit -- a very positive one.]

The process is quite simple: get quiet, write down the thoughts that come, and test them. If they are dishonest, resentful, selfish, or fearful, the thoughts are from self. Ask God to remove those thoughts. If they are the opposite, follow through.

If your concept of God is such that you cannot approach God yet, you need to rework Steps One, Two and Three and create a new concept of God -- One that is approachable.

Next, write down everything that comes into your mind. Everything. Writing is simply a means of recording messages from God so that you can remember them later.

If we have been thorough and honest in Steps Four through Nine, we have removed the blocks that have prevented us from establishing two-way communication with God. This is an ironclad guarantee. It works! From firsthand experience, we can state that guidance has been working in our lives ever since we began a daily Quiet Time.

The authors explain why we must take this action: "We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But that is not all. There is action and more action. 'Faith without works is dead.' . That means we have to take the action that produces trust."

Prayer and meditation take dedication and practice. If we do the work, we'll receive the rewards: a life filled with improved health, with happiness, with serenity beyond our wildest dreams.

Finally, you may be interested to know that there were 4 pieces that Bob and Bill read daily and as the opening to every meeting:

(1) That day's reading from "The Upper Room" daily devotional guide.

(2) Passages from the book of James.

(3) The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew Ch. 5 - 7).

(4) I Corinthians, Ch. 13, so those are in your guide if you choose to use them.

Remember, if you invite the Creator to reveal His presence, God will come and you will feel that presence. So we will conclude Step Eleven by sharing with you the spiritual tools that we use in our daily prayer and meditation.

You can download a copy of the Guide to Prayer and Meditation: Click Here

So, you have a couple of assignments this week:

1. Start making amends to those whom you have harmed, doing the ones you think will be the easiest first. Remember, too, that an amends goes like this:

(A) Here's what I have done wrong.

(B) I apologize for this.

(D) Is there anything else I have done to harm you that you want to discuss?

2) Practice morning prayer and meditation, using the guide we'll give you and writing down on your own paper your guidance received. Bring those writings next session.

As you embark on Step Eleven, remember the Law of Prayer: When man listens, God speaks. When man obeys, God acts.

Now, is there an amends that you can make before bedtime tonight? OK -- go do it, and do all four parts. And don't do it thinking about some benefit you hope to gain from it, but do it to set right the wrong you have done. And remember: you're cleaning up your side of the street. All of the amends you attempt to make may or may not be well received. That is of no consequence.

We wish you the very best as you start making your amends immediately and working to establish conscious contact with the God of your understanding. Remember, Bob did all of his amends in one day and never took another drink after completing this step. Miracles are about to occur and we are looking forward to hearing about them from you in the future.

Back to Basics--AAs 12 Steps HOME PAGE

To do Steps 10 - 12, click here: Back to Basics - Steps 10, 11 and 12