Hey, you crazy campers, remember Julia's silly story challenge?? <> Well, I have taken it up, and here goes...

"Why Steph and Fanfic Don’t Mix Well" - A Cabin story by Steph

It was a normal day in Cabin X. In the loosest sense of the word possible, that is. Steph had just popped a tape in the VCR next to her bunk, and had an evil smile on her face. Laura(47) wondered whether something was wrong, but didn’t want to interrupt her recital of a certain song from a certain musical involving a boat. [1] Liz and Julia, however, knew what that smile meant, and got out the straight jacket. Then, the tape started. It was the one with "Fallen Angel" and "Eve", so Julia decided to watch, if only for "Eve", since she was missing her clone so much. Then, the horror began. Chris Carter’s boring commentaries on the episodes to come. Julia tried to wrench the VCR remote from Steph’s fist, but in the middle of a tug, she glanced up at the screen. It was the evil CC, all right, but there was something wrong. He was naked. And painted. In pink and yellow polka dots. Julia started whimpering at the same moment that Steph’s grin got even more twisted and psychotic. As Ana caught a glance of the screen, she started throwing mallows [2] at the screen, most of which Steph picked up and threw right back. A full scale Cabin mallow war erupted... no one was safe!! Miraculously, Suzi had not been hit for a full 30 seconds into the fight, and she got extremely mad, as she was trying to find the correct spelling for "apocalyptic". She got up, losing her page, to try and strangle Steph, but the psycho shipper saw her coming and jumped out of the open window, which had conveniently been placed there for the purposes of this story.

"COOOOOOL", came her voice from the outside of the cabin, for she had just found three things that were of extreme interest to her. First, there was a sword. Not the wimpy kind either! A katana... just like the kind Dunkie uses. [3] Also, a bunsen burner was sitting next to it, unlit but hooked up to a gas spigot. Where the spigot came from, no one knew-or particulary cared, for that matter. The third thing she found was a metal box on the side of the cabin with a yellow sticker on it that said, in big red capital letters, "HIGH VOLTAGE!"

Now, Steph, being not the brightest crayon in the box, ignored the sword and bunsen burner, and went straight for the box. The lock was opened, and inside she found all of the circuit breakers for the cabin. They were arranged by bunk, so now if anyone was particularly angering her, she could turn off their TV, VCR, and computer. This discovery made Steph happy, so very happy...

Being in the evil mood she was in at the moment, she decided to she’d rather be being evil. So she flipped all the switches over to the right, turning them off. There were two main effects of this action. First, and most noticably, the lights, computers, and TV’s all turned off. Exactly 0.47[4] seconds later, a large groan wafted its way through the window, which was in turn followed by less of a groan and more of a curse, which was followed by Mysti’s rabid shouting of

"AUUGH!! THAT WAS PART 13 OF CHAPTER 4 OF THE 3RD STORY IN MY 8TH WIP [5] SERIES!!! THE ‘MULDER AND SCULLY GET IT ON’ SERIES!!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR 2 WEEKS FOR THAT! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Which was followed by an enraged Mysti running out of the cabin door, throwing macaroni noodles at Steph, who was ducking and running away, along with her new sword, of course. And, following that, Mysti turned the cabin’s power back on, much to the relief of Alex, who was busy writing his own fanfic, and had fortunately just saved it.

These were all following the leader, of course, who seemed to have been lost sometime in the scene where Mysti converted her to shippism, from which point on, the leader had walked off in perfect shippy bliss, leaving the rest of us behind to suffer. But that really isn’t important, as the scene was cut due to time restictions.

9 minutes later, Steph decided that it would probably be safe to once again enter the Cabin. Apparently, it was somewhere near some type of meal, probably breakfast, or, with the sleeping habits of these particular campers, 2 in the afternoon. Several campers were eating what appered to be scrambled eggs, a few were eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and one was even eating corn flakes. Liz was busy singing to the Cabin that she was a Chiquita banana, which was backed up by the little blue sticker on her forehead, and the very convincing song and dance routine. If you were to ask her why she did this, she would probably break out into giggles, and promptly spray her beverage on everyone, but she continued it nonetheless. Suzi was off inflicting her own kind of torture on herself. Chewy Zap after Chewy Zap ented her mouth, and were not spit out. It was an amazing test of bravery, and a teriffic show of stupidity. Steph decided to help her find her way out of this self-inflicted misery.

"WHY are you doing that, Suzi dear? Trying to kill your remaining brain cells?"

Susan gave Steph a look that could probably burn holes through kevlar, but Steph continued.

"You want me to help you find what you were looking up? It was apocalyptic, right? Oh, here-I found the page! Abracadabra to assimilation..."

"GIMMIE that," Susan squealed as she yanked the book from Steph’s hand. When she saw that the page actually WAS abracadabra to assimilation, she got up, losing all care for the book resting on her lap, and started banging her head on the wall. Steph had enough sense to leave her alone.

And so another possibly chaotic scene in the little well of insanity known as Cabin X ended peacefully. Well, relatively peacefully. Mysti and Alex were back to their fanfic, Caitlen was warning Stanley about proper mallow behavior, Julia had deserted in favor of the fence, and Liz had thankfully calmed down, and stopped showing people her tie-dyed undies.

THE END

Back to CabinX

Notes: (by Laura 47)

  1. This would be "The Pirates of Penzance", and the song "I am the very model of a Modern major General", which Laura 47 will sing at the slightest provocation.
  2. =============----------(___() () () We throw Marshmallows a lot, it's a P/T Collective tradition.
  3. Dunkie is Duncan MaCleud from "Highlander", a show that Steph and Julia and Laura 47 and prolly some other people watch, other peopel speak up and I'll add you to this footnote... and won't you feel special, lettingt he world now through a rambling footnote that you watch Highlander...
  4. 47 is a number that is absurdly common. Check out http://www.47.net for some proof.
  5. WIP- A work in progress