HAPPY BIRTHDAY CABIN X!!!

In honor of Cabin X's First Birthday, Rachel, Julia, MySti and Laura 47 have written a little story about ALL the campers. We hope you all enjoy it! So, without further adieu......

Author's Notes and Introduction

Rachel's author's note:

Julia's author's note:

MySti's author's note:

Laura 47's author's note:

With a sigh, she stared out at the cabin around her, upset that, as usual, she saw it in black and white, but at least, she mused, she was there.

Life was proceeding as normal in the cabin, or at least in a way that was normal for Cabin X. To her left, Michelle and Michelle were debating the merits of Mulder in a red Speedo and other varying degrees of dress and undress, and she could hear Ana:)'s snores from out by the fence. (though after the movie Ana:) had begun to spend more time awake, she was still prone, of course, to the occasional nap.) Somewhere to her right, Julie(Umbra!girl), Laura47, and Alex, three of the many B5 fans in the cabin, were watching the last episode, crying hard that after 6 years of almost being cancelled every year it was all over, and strains of "stung kissing" and the Titanic soundtrack reached her ears. Erin, Lauren(aol), and Sasha and a few other random Xers were shooting marshmallows at each other with slingshots, and Stanley was trying to eat the ones that missed, much to Caitlen's chagrin, as the participants were trying to reuse the same ones so as not to waste valuable mallows. Over in a corner, Steph was holding a piece of paper, and laughing hysterically. Basically, life was proceeding as usual.

Unfortunately, interesting as normal cabin life was, it wasn't very good material for a fresh and surprising story, though the mallow that chose that moment to hit Rachel in the cheek was both fresh and surprising all at once. She lobbed it back into the fight, and continued to ponder. What could she do to make her story interesting enough for it to qualify as the big birthday surprise she had promised?

Well, she mused, best to start at the start. With a grunt, Rachel reached under the bunk bed she shared with Mysti, and pulled out a large and somewhat messy file box, and began to leaf through it. The records she was looking for were from the very roots of the cabin, which was why she expected them to be anywhere but at either end of the row of documents and random junk she was faced with. Still, she managed to leaf through the entire box twice without finding them.

"Hey," a familiar voice called from above her, as she began her third search for the original cabin roster. Rachel was so startled she jumped, knocked her head against the bed above her, and scattered files everywhere.

A crowd immediately rushed over to help Rachel clean up, but she shooed all but the most persistent of them away, namely Laura47. Mysti, the one who had caused the whole mess, climbed down from her bunk above Rachel to help as well, but also to finish her question. "What are you doing?"

Rachel shrugged. "I want to write a story-" she began, but a cry of anguish cut off her words as a hysterical Julia rushed over to Rachel's bed. Rachel immediately reached for the inhaler that she kept under her pillow for just such cases (and prayed Mysti didn't notice where she hid it) as Julia approached.

"What's wrong?" Mysti, Laura and Rachel somehow managed to demand in unison without sounding like complete idiots.

"It's Steph," Julia declared, practically in tears.

"What about her?" Rachel asked. "She was just over there, laughing at...what was she laughing at anyway?"

"That's just it," Julia declared. "She was laughing at something that people are supposed to actually laugh at. Guys, we have to help her. Steph's gone sane!!!!!!!"

"Y'know, there's been some other funny stuff going on, Julie(not Umbra!girl), one of the typically quiet Xers pointed out from a bed nearby.

"Yeah. I've noticed. Some things have gone missing, other odd things have appeared." Julia said after a few puffs of the inhaler had calmed her down.

"I really hope we don't have another outbreak of phenomena like we did when Krycek showed up... That was a mess." Mysti groaned at the thought.

"Sorry." said Julia, who was partially to blame for that particular fiasco.

Meanwhile, Steph was calmly trying to engage a shocked Maryann into a rational conversation about politics. Lauren(non-aol) and Alex, who were within earshot, picked their jaws up off the floor.

"See! Look at this! What the photon is going on?!" Julia demanded.

"Well, for one thing, you can't argue that I'm not weirder than Steph anymore." Laura47 pointed out.

"That's a double negative..." Julia said.

"Who cares," Rachel answered. " Now let's see. We have Steph acting like a sane and rational being, I can't find the roster, and I can't have misplaced it *that* badly-"

"Yeah," Laura interjected as Rachel paused to consider, "and I just saw Neha tear up all her Ratboy pictures and kick her Ratboy!clone out of the clone sanctuary- not that I'm complaining that she did all that, but..."

Rachel nodded as Laura did something very unusual- she actually stopped talking. "So we have a few other people acting slightly abnormal too, and it looks like... Hey! Aren't we missing a bunch of people?" Rachel stopped, looking wildly around.

Sure enough, several of the quiet lurkers, including Rebecca, Katie, and Deanna had disappeared completely. The Cabin held about half its usual population. Something was phenomenally wrong.

"Hey!" Ana:), who was suddenly very awake, exclaimed at just that moment, "Where's Umbra????" For some reason, it was Julia who raced over to the extensive fanfic library (an entire wing of the cabin) and screamed, "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Fanfics were rapidly disappearing. Julia made a mad grasp for the works of Paula Graves ( AKA Anne Hynes) but they disappeared right from her hands. All that were left were a few dusty Noromo stories. Julia collapsed on the floor sobbing.

Rachel, Julie(not Umbra!girl), and Alex, along with those involved in the mallow fight and assorted other campers rushed to her side, some screaming at the sudden decrease of fanfic in what had been, seconds ago, an unusually vast library.

Laura 47 was about to rush over also when she noticed MySti wasn't moving.

"MySti?" she asked quietly, "aren't you going over to the library?"

"Nah, I don't really care." She said with no emotion. "I don't really care about fanfic anymore."

Laura 47 drew back in silent horror. "But, MySti, you're...you're... you're the..."

"And stop capitalizing the "s" in my name. It's Mysti, not MySti." She said as she sat down on a bunk and pulled out a book. Laura 47 bent down to see the title of the book, hoping against hope that it was something by Lydia Bower. What she saw shocked her more than Mysti's nonreaction to the disappearance of the fanfic, more than her renouncing of the "MS" in her name.

Mysti was reading............... The Collected Works of New England Puritans. Laura 47 promptly fainted.

Sara looked up from where she was filling out college applications and saw Laura 47 collapsed on the floor. She ran over to her and tried to wake her up.

"Wake up!" she said. She called for Rachel, who was responsible for the health of the campers, and a crowd began to form. Laura 47 struggled back to consciousness. "What's wrong?" Heather called out from somewhere in the crowd, which had been shocked into silence. (silence being a *very* unusual occurrence in the cabin.)

"Myyyssssssssssssttttttttiiiiiiiii........." Laura said. All heads turned to Mysti, who was remarkably calm.

"What happened to her, Mysti?" Phoebe asked from where she was crouched on the other side of Laura.

"I don't know." Mysti answered, still very calmly. "Most of you ran over to see the Library. We talked a little bit, I started reading, and she fainted."

"What did you talk about?" Susan demanded.

"Well, she asked me why I wasn't concerned about the fanfic, and I told her I don't read that Mulder/Scully weepy shippy-stuff anymore."

"You mean you don't read fanfic anymore?" Alyssa asked in complete disbelief, but her words were barely audible through Rachel's unusually loud reaction.

"YOU WHAT?!" Rachel demanded, growing anxious enough to use all caps. Simultaneously, Julia shrieked and also fainted, which just added to the confusion. Liz, Suzi and Caitlen attended to her while Steph shocked them by making rational suggestions about what to do.

"Oh, I do read some fanfic." Mysti amended. Julie (AKA Umbra!Girl) sighed in relief. "I like things from "Shipper's Nightmare" and I just love Mulder/Other and Scully/Skinner stories. MORSOR is the best."

"MORSOR?!" Rachel demanded. "MORSOR?"

So great was her agitation that she began to hyperventilate, but the attention of the others was drawn back to Laura as she managed to creak out, "Puuuuuurrrrrrrrreeeeeee........", reminding the shocked Cabin Xers that she was on the floor.

"Pure?" Siobhan guessed. "...itttttaaaaaaaannn........." Laura added.

"PURITAN?" Sara said in an uncharacteristically loud voice.

"Oh," Mysti said calmly. "I was just reading some Puritan poetry. I just love that stuff."

"JUST?" Rachel nearly shouted in Mysti's face as Laura47 reeled from Mysti's statement. She had spent much time discussing with Mysti their hatred of Puritan poetry. "JUST?" Rachel repeated with even more force, obviously incapable of anything more articulate.

"Rachel!" Julie(not Umbra!girl) exclaimed in a hushed whisper as Rachel paused to gasp for air, "Since when do you yell?"

"Yeah," Mysti asked in the same soft voice, "since when *do* you get upset?" She pulled the inhaler out from under Rachel's pillow. "Here. Have a puff."

Rachel complied, then had two more. As it began to take effect, she shook her head in confusion. "What just happened?" she demanded as Julie and Julie stared at her with a mix of concern and shock. "Why did I do that?"

Julia was sitting up now, being comforted by Laura 5 and crying quietly. Siobhan and Sara put Laura 47 to bed to recover from the shock. Rachel looked on with a calm concern that was much more in sync with her normal behavior, and handed the inhaler back to Mysti who replaced it under Rachel's pillow.

"Wow!" Steph added in a voice that was way too sane. "If Rachel needed the inhaler, this is serious! I don't think we can handle this on our own."

Things were going terribly wrong in the cabin. Something definitely needed to be done, and Steph was right. They were all in way over their heads this time.

"But who can we call?" Laura, who hadn't spoken in far too long inquired softly. "Who could investigate something as..... paranormal as this?"

Suddenly, Becca, who was still cleaning up the spilt files let out a cry of triumph from her spot on the floor by Rachel's bed. "I know! I know!" She brandished a copy of the original cabin story, the one where Mulder had declared Rachel an abductee.

"Yes, that's who we can call" Christina exclaimed from her position toward the front of the ring of people that had formed around the center of the confusion, which was currently Mysti, who was seated on Rachel's bed.

"Who?" Jessica asked, confused. She was still relatively new in the cabin, and had yet to read the story Becca was holding.

"Who else?" Mysti asked, eyes lighting up.

Christina turned to Rachel. "Did Mulder, by any chance, leave you his number?"

"Rachel, do you still have that card Mulder gave you when he and Scully came to the cabin about a year ago?" Steph asked as Rachel stared at her dully. Maybe three puffs had been a little excessive... she shook her head to clear it as she sought the words with which to answer Steph.

"Yes, I do..." Rachel began slowly.

"But Steph," Lesa exclaimed from just behind Christina, "You weren't even in the cabin then! How would you remember that?"

"Yeah," Rash added, joining in the conversation. "It's like in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan when Chekov acted like he had met Khan when "Space Seed" was before he came on board the Enterprise."

"But there's no conclusive proof that Chekov wasn't on board then, it's just the story that he joined in the second season." Mysti, who was usually prone to being nitpicky, contradicted.

"You're rationalizing." Becca pointed out from the floor.

"Whatever. Lesa, I don't know how I knew about the card. Julia never told me that part." Steph answered. "This just adds to the list of weird things happening. And so does that." She added, gesturing towards the door to the cabin.

The Xers who had gathered around Mysti and Rachel's bunk bed looked out the door and were shocked, shocked and dismayed by what they saw.

Barbara, formerly DsnyAladdn , self-confessed Disney obsessee and webmistress of Disney web pages, was tossing her Disney CDs and videos into Lake Brandy. Luckily, Lori, who was in an unnaturally rational mood, had hidden Barbara's other memorabilia when she saw what Barbara was doing, but this was bad enough!

This was too, too weird. "Well," Sarah interrupted from next to Lesa, "regardless of whether Steph knew about the card, she's right about one thing- we need to call Mulder and Scully!"

"Get out the card," Rash told a slightly dazed Rachel.

Slowly, very slowly, Rachel nodded. She pointed wordlessly to the address book on her end table. Sarah moved to the phone and picked it up to call. The she grimaced.

"What's wrong?" Rebecca, who had appeared out of nowhere, asked.

"There's no dial tone!" Sarah exclaimed.

"What?" Rachel demanded, beginning to panic once again. "How is that possible?"

"Yeah," Sasha added. "Without the phone line, how can we get to the fanfic?"

"What fanfic?" Melissa answered bitterly as Heather struggled to calm Rachel without further use of the inhaler. Laura(unnumbered), who was standing beside Melissa, gasped. Since when did Melissa get upset over *lack* of fanfic?

"That's it!" Allicia, who had come to stand beside Laura(unnumbered), exclaimed. "It's not working because the fanfic is gone, or because we can't get to it, or well, they're connected somehow..."

"It doesn't matter," Lori anwered, having joined the growing crowd around Rachel's bed now that all of Barbara's Disney stuff was hidden. "What matters is we can't call without a phone!"

"I have a cel phone," Rachel mumbled around the cup of hot cocoa Heather had handed her.

For a moment, no one heard what she'd said, and the debate continued, but Deanna, who had unexpectedly appeared, shushed everyone and asked, "What did you say, Rachel?"

"I said," Rachel whispered slowly, "I have a cel phone."

"A cel phone?" Hope had returned. "But how will you get reception?" Lori asked softly. "Doesn't it only work in Israel?

Rebecca, one of the cabin's many collectivites, pointed outside. "The flagpole," she answered.

"Besides," Katie, who was now standing beside Deanna, added, "with all the crazy things that have been going on, I wouldn't be surprised if it suddenly *did* work."

As Katie spoke, Steph rummaged through the unusually full backpack sitting at the foot of Rachel's bed until she found the cel phone. Then she dialed the number and hit the send button.

For a moment, all the Xers held their breath as they leaned in close to listen.

"Agent Spender speaking." the Xers heard. Most cringed, groaned, or showed some other sign of disgust. Steph, even though she was temporarily afflicted with sanity, also commenced being disgusted. She realllly didn't want to talk to Jeffery "rat bastard" Spender. Laura47, however, grabbed the phone, saying:

"Oooh, let me talk to him! Spender is awesome!"

The entire cabin immediately fainted.

"Excuse me, Agent Spender," Laura47 began in a very proffessional tone, "could you please tell me how to reach Agent Fox Mulder? I respect what you're doing now that you are in charge of the X-Files very much, but there's a problem only Agent Mulder and his partner can help me with." She paused here.

Those Cabin members who had revived in time to hear her were shocked to realize she actually meant what she was saying.

"I think you and the esteemed Agent Fowley will make so many improvements, debunking all of Mulder and Scully's silly work... But enough of that. I really need to talk to Agent Mulder." Laura continued to gush. At this point, most Cabin members were quietly rocking back and forth repeating "This is not happening." over and over again.

"Um..." a rather inarticulate Spender began. He'd not been praised often, perhaps not at all, in recent memory. He was so startled he simply had someone connect the newly deranged Laura47 with Mulder.

Steph, being more rational than most Xers about this disturbing development (possibly the worst yet), took over the task of reaching help for her friends.

"Mulder." A voice answered.

"Hi, you don't know me because I wasn't there when Cabin X started..." Steph began.

"Oh, Cabin *X*... I remember you guys! You're the insane ones." Mulder interjected."

*We're* insane? And for the record, I'm quite sane at the moment." Steph said. Those who were standing closest to her, including Allicia, Rash, Laura5, and Susan, cringed at this statement. Julia was still trying to recover from the Puritan thing as well as Neha's sudden dislike of her Ratboy clone (which Julia and another Krycek fan or two had settled in the pet sanctuary, because there was no where else to put him. He was currently being chased in circles by Julia's greyhound, who was more hyper than usual. But there were other more serious problems to take care of...).

"So why'd you call? I'm kind of busy right now. Trying to get back on the X-Files and such..." Mulder said. The entire Cabin cringed. The Unmentionable Duo working on The X-Files was yet another thing wrong with the world these days...

"Well, we need your help. There's something very weird going on here. And it'd be an X-File you and Scully could work on without getting in trouble, as no one would find out you were ever here. Wherever here is..." Steph handed the phone to Lisa, and started muttering metaphysical comments, trying to theorize where exactly Camp Brandy was in the space-time continuum. Michelle, Michelle, Julie (Umbra!girl), Julie(Umbra!Girl), Sara and Sarah, and others within earshot started rocking and muttering "this is not happening" over and over.

"Hey, we'll be there. Now how do we get there?" Mulder wondered.

"Just think about getting here. Think of what the outside of the Cabin looks like and wish yourself there. Don't think of the inside, we've made a few changes and you time-travelling is *not* what we need right now." replied Lisa, obviously influenced somewhat by Pern.

With a very surprisingly undiscernable odd noise, Mulder and Scully appeared just outside the Cabin. They immediately began a *friendly* argument about what exactly had happened. Mulder opened the door, placing a hand at Scully's back as they walked through the entrance to Cabin X. He kept his arm there as they stood looking around for someone who could tell them why they'd been so urgently needed.

Mysti grimaced at the GTM, and the others winced to see her strong noromo reaction.

"What's the matter with her?" Mulder asked as he stepped slightly closer to Scully, though it was rather surprising that this was possible.

"She obviously doesn't like the idea of the two of us together," Scully answered with a teasing glance in Mulder's direction.

"That much was apparent," he answered with a grimace worse than Mysti's. Julia sighed as she took in his confusion. She loved Mulder!confusion. It often led to more serious forms of Mulder!torture and that meant all sorts of fun stuff. Still, the reason for his confusion was not nearly as pleasant. "What I want to know is how she can think that."

"That's part of the problem!" Rachel explained, voice taut with worry and anxiety. "Mysti's a shipper!" She grabbed Mysti by the shoulders and shook her hard. "You're a shipper! Do you hear me? A shipper!" Mysti just stared at her blankly, then calmly pulled away from Rachel's hands.

"That's it," Liz exclaimed definitively. "It's time to take drastic measures. Michelle(Speedo) yanked open one of the drawers beneath the bed Rachel shared with Mysti- it was Mysti's drawer, actually, and it was filled with a massive supply of shippy items. Among these items was a rather extensive if much worn out video tape collection, which Ana:) and Alyssa began tossing out at Random. Liz and Lauren(non-aol) brandished them in Mysti's face.

"See these!" Rachel nearly yelled. Laura winced at the volume of her friend's voice. Rachel began reading off episode titles. "Tooms, Pusher, Memento Mori, Redux- all 3 parts!" Mysti didn't react, and so Rachel continued. "Detour! Post Modern Prometheus! They danced, Mysti! They danced!" Still, there was no reaction. Rachel played her final card- or tape- or whatever. "Fight the future! You *saw* the scene in the hallway." Then she realized she didn't actually have that particular tape in her hand.

She looked down at the next tape in the pile as she felt herself grow quickly frantic. It contained only one episode. "The Beginning," Laura(unnumbered), who had come up behind her, read over her shoulder. "But... that shouldn't be in this pile... it's terrible! It's... full of mistakes... of, of..."

"Continuity errors in the Mulder-Scully relationship and characterization?" Rachel, who still hadn't watched it took a guess. For some reason, Mysti's tapes just didn't work on her TV...

"Yes," Laura(unnumbered) confirmed. "Continuity errors."

Continuity errors. Rachel's eyes locked with Julia's as the clones mouthed the word together. "Continuity errors," they said in unison as the tape fell from Rachel's fingers as her hand went limp in response to her great surprise. She noted she didn't remember ever having picked it up off the pile as Scully reacted to their statement.

"Continuity errors," she repeated. "What are those?"

"Like the necklace in Anasazi," Rachel and Julia said together, "and your two middle initials-"

"Do you always do that?" Mulder cut them off. "What are you two? Clones?" They nodded in unison. "But do you get what's happening?" Julia asked.

"Yes," Scully answered, "but those are for stories, they don't just randomly happen in reality!"

"But they have to be happening," Mulder insisted, immediately taking to the idea.

"How?"

"Maybe... maybe Camp Brandy is different! Maybe here there can be continuity errors if someone takes the time to place them correctly."

"That's all well and good," Scully answered, still doubtful, "but who would want to do that?"

For no reason at all- because such is the way of continuity errors-Rachel and Julia answered together. "Chris Carter!"

"Who?" Scully asked, obviously confused.

At the same time, Mulder added as an aside, "You really are clones..."

"Speaking of clones," Jennifer broke in at that moment, elbowing her way to the center of the circle, "we have a bit of a problem..."

At just that moment, a loud clamor was heard from within the Clone sanctuary. "I told you..." Jennifer concluded, but her words were masked by the commotion that followed. Mulder!Clones were everywhere, swarming over the cabin like those killer bees from the movie. Well, maybe not exactly like that, but they were certainly making a mess. A few of them got to the pet sanctuary, and began freeing all of the cats, dogs, birds, dragons, and other assorted creatures that lived there. The animals promptly began fighting with eachother and making a mess of the nearest camper areas including those of Jennifer and Jessica, as they slept right nearby. Another Mulder!clone proceeded to open all of the Stanley-proof boxes, while Caitlen's clone began to bait Stanley himself. Caitlen threw up her hands in surrender, unable to stop him.

In all the confusion, Lauren(aol), who was on the fringe of the crowd of campers, somehow managed to grab one of the less wild of the clones. "What's going on?!" she demanded, knowing nothing less would carry over the barking hissing, shouting and crashing all around them. "We're revolting," he explained.

"But why?" Jessica shouted to him as she stared in dismay at the baby dragons that had swarmed her bed.

"Because it isn't fair!" he explained. "Just because we're clones doesn't mean we don't deserve *her* just as much!"

"Her?" Jessica asked, confused.

"Yes, her," the Mulderclone answered before stepping around Lauren(aol) to dump a shelf of videos onto the floor. Neha, whose Krycek clone was once again on the loose, winced at both the noise and the damage that resulted.

"Who's her?" Sasha demanded from near Julia, but the clone was gone.

"Idiot!" Julia declared in a very unJulialike manner. "Her is Scully! Who else would it be!"

Rachel literally hit her head against the wall. "Ow!" she declared before adding, "How could we be so stupid! Of course! All of the Mulderclones were ordered by shippers!

"All?" Siobhan demanded. Rachel winced at her generalization. "Almost all," she corrected before continuing, "They're revolting because they're jealous! Just a second while I see what I can do..."

Rachel removed the cel phone from the hands of a startled Lisa, and dialed a number. "We need you," she told whoever was on the other end.

Within moments, another clone had exited the sanctuary. This time it was a Scully!clone, the one Rachel had ordered to make sure no one killed each other while Rachel as away for the summer. Still, one Scully!clone would never be enough for the horde of Mulder!clones now causing mass destruction...

Meanwhile, the true Mulder and Scully were looking on with growing confusion and agitation. "I don't believe it," Mulder was muttering under his breath just as Scully whispered, "So not only did they steal my ova... but they cloned me too?"

"But... but I wasn't even abducted!" the real Mulder shouted over all the confusion. "How is this possible?"

"Unless..." Scully began, shaking her head, growing paler by the moment.

"All those times when we lost time!" Mulder declared triumphantly. "So my sister wasn't enough for them and now they had to take me too?"

Mulder and Scully clutched eachother, seeking a support that neither could offer, so distressed were they both by the sight around them. Maryann tried in vain to explain to them that nothing of the sort of thing that they suspected had occurred, but could find no way to say it.

"Ignore them," Allicia tried. "They're not real."

"Yeah," Melissa added. "Imagination has strong properties here."

"That's right," Erin explained, "Imagination has physical properties in Camp Brandy!" But they wouldn't listen.

Finally, it was an even worse event that forced them out of their confusion. "What is going on here?" A furious voice demanded from the doorway of the cabin as an even more furious man marched into the cabin. Assorted Xers gasped as they recognized the fuming figure. "Chris Carter," Sasha dared to whisper under her breath.

"What have you done?" the one responsible for the whole mess demanded. "What have you done to my characters?! They'll be scarred for life! Now I'll never be able to set them straight! *I'm* the only one allowed to torture them!"

"Who are you?" Mulder demanded as he held Scully close, presumably to protect her. She pulled away, obviously in no need of such protection, but remained at his side, her arm brushing against him.

"Who am I?!" He demanded in disbelief. "I created you!"

"Oh no!" Phoebe whispered to Erin, who was standing beside her. "This is terrible! Chris Carter can't exist in the same universe as Mulder and Scully! He writes what they say!"

"Wow!" Erin answered in a stunned whisper. "This is... it's terrible! It's the biggest discontinuity of all!" She paused, surprised that she'd used such a large word so casually. Then she forgot her surprise as she realized Carter had heard every word.

"Discontinuities?" he demanded, "That serves you right! This whole place is a mass of illegality!" the demon writer exclaimed in disgust, looking around at the run-amok MulderClones, the posters, and the bootleg tapes.

"But we're only showing our appreciation of your wonderful charac..." Julia was cut off. "YOU! Your computer is completely filled with copyrighted material! Look at these sounds! The pictures! My lawyers would have apoplexy! And all these links! They promised me these sites were all closed!"

"You'll never be able to stop them!" Julia exclaimed, this was not a topic it was wise to anger her about. Rachel was making faces to warn Carter to this effect, but he was apparently not too observant about people, as various occasions have shown.

"C'mon, Carter. And I have a few pieces of advice for you about that scene in the hallway... LIKE IT NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED!" said a still noromo Mysti. Cabin members all around cringed, this was the worst thing that could have ever happened to Mysti.

"Fight it! You can fight Them, Mysti." Steph said. She was still more sane than usual, but was still a shipper. And the sanity was obviously degrading somewhat considering she'd used a "Them."

"And you! Look at all this! Stories written by...*fans* about *my* characters! Look what they've made...them...do... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Carter abruptly fainted, obviously not able to deal with the strain of what he'd just seen.

Julia crossed over to Mysti's computer screen, afraid of what story she might find displayed. She was expecting something involving fuzzy red handcuffs, whipped cream, and perhaps overly sappy dialogue, but it turned out to be a comparatively tame piece by Karen Rasch (not the one that *did* involve handcuffs and such...). "He fainted over *that*... I wonder what would happen if he saw *Trilly*'s hard drive..." she snickered slightly at that and muttered something about sheep.

Mysti sauntered over to the people that were staring at her computer. "Excuse me," she began, slightly miffed that people were touching *her* computer, "what exactly do...." her words died off as she read what was on the screen. "Hey...I remember this! I downloaded this!"

Steph rushed over. "Yes, you did!! Why would you do that unless you *liked* it at one point??? Hmm??"

As Mysti talked to herself, attempting to reason out this apparent contradiction, Mulder took a few long strides (stepping over the still unconscious form of Chris Carter) to see what caused all the commotion. As his sometimes-green-sometimes-brown eyes scanned the pages, a smile began to form at the corners of his lips. Various cabin members began to read along with him, Steph, Michelle(nonSpeedo), and others were desperately trying to convince Mysti of her shipper status, and the rest of the cabin began to talk amongst themselves, or attempt to protect Scully from the horde of MulderClones that were attempting to maul her. This participation in other activities explains why no one noticed Chris Carter waking up--until he let out a long, loud shriek.

"NOOOO!!! Stop!!" he shouted, attempting to push Mulder away from the computer screen. But Mulder, like so many others exposed to fanfic, had developed an immediate attachment and could not be dragged away. "You can't see this!! You'll be corrupted! Oh, God, my characters!! My show!!" The cabin was thrown into chaos as Chris Carter ran around wildly attempting to find--well, no one knew what he was looking for. But abruptly, he let out a shriek of triumph in unison with the groan of disappointment that emitted from Mulder. Those who looked at Carter discovered he held the plug to the computer in his hand, while those who looked at Mulder saw him staring forlornly at a blank screen.

"There!" Carter muttered. "Now, Mulder, Scully, come on. Let's go. You have an early day tomorrow, investigating another lead to Samantha that will wrack Mulder with angst and lead him to ditch you again, Scully. As for YOU" he said, looking accusingly to the Cabin members, "if I ever find out that you've attempted to mess with my characters or my show again, I will KILL OFF Scully and leave Mulder to suffer!!" He cackled maniacally.

Carter began to leave the Cabin, dragging Mulder and Scully behind them. No one in the Cabin dared to interfere, because shipper or not, NO ONE wanted to see Scully die. But then a loud cry resounded that stopped the Creator in his tracks.

"HEY!!! How *dare* you??" Everyone whirled around to see the source of such vehement protestation. The Cabin was awed to see Mysti stalking resolutely toward Chris Carter, Mulder, and Scully. "How dare you come in here and threaten us like that?? Not *only* do you torture Mulder, not *only* do you torture Scully, not *only* do you make them suffer apart when they could be *so* happy together, and not *only* do you play with us, your VIEWERS through stuff like the hallway scene, but then you THREATEN us??" Mysti shook her head. "I don't think so".

Laura 47 nudged Steph as Mysti spoke. "That sounds suspiciously shippy to me," she said, grinning. Steph never got to reply, because Chris Carter took that moment to respond.

"Now you listen to me!" cried Chris, so stunned at this challenge to his authority that he dropped his hold of Mulder and Scully and simply stared at Mysti. "You are a *viewer!* I am the *creator*! I know what's best for these characters!"

"Oh yeah, you know what's best!" spoke up Alex. "Give Scully cancer???"

"Or," added Pheobe "right after she gets a remission and thinks all is well, have her discover a daughter and then KILL HER??"

"Have her abducted??" shouted Katie. "And what about the things you do to MULDER?? You play with his mind over his sister and Scully!"

"Have 'Samantha' come back over and over only to have him lose her again!" Laura 47 cried in her usual loud tone.

"Take the woman he loves--the only person he has in the *whole* world--over and over again!!!" Maryann yelled, adding her two cents.

"And, hey, Carter, you can't even keep simple dates right! You change Mulder's birthday. You have cases occur on the same days. And *then* you give the X-files to Fowely and Spender?? Make Kersh be in charge??? NO WAY! Don't tell us that *you* know best, because you sure haven't shown it!" Neha cried vehmently in an Emmyworthy monologe. "And to top it all off, YOU ONLY CAST KRYCEK IN SIX EPISODES THIS SEASON!!!"

Neha's voice rang throughout the silent cabin. Everything was still until Lauren(non-aol) cried, "Neha!! You're BACK!!!" She ran and hugged Neha with all her might. There were cries of celebration through the Cabin Xers. The celebration was cut short by a low gravelly voice.

"*He's* the one who hurt Scully?" asked a MulderClone. The hordes of MulderClones behind him all wore identical expressions--kind of like in One Breath when Mulder holds a gun on the CSM, but that's not important right now. Laura simply nodded. "Yep. Him. It's *all* his fault." she said with an evil twinkle in her eye.

Mulder's protective streak chose that moment to assert itself in all the MulderClones. "We'll kill him!" they shouted in unison, chasing Chris out the door and into the woods surrounding the Cabin.

Alyssa ran to the door and shouted after them. "Don't kill him!! We still want our show!! Just...wound him!!! Teach him how the show *should* be done!!" Then she shut the door in satisfaction. "There. That will teach HIM a thing or two about over torturing his main characters."

The Cabin was silent for a moment as the Cabin Xers contemplaited their triumph, and then Rachel asked, "Neha?" Neha was crying.

"It's my clone!" Neha replied, sniffling. "I can't find him...I let him go...and I ripped up all my posters and...."

Rachel was about to respond when they heard a male voice say, "Neha? Are you okay??" Neha's KrycekClone rushed over. "I'm sorry I worried you! I was just putting the animals back into the sanctuary!" Neha smiled brightly at the sight of her favorite villan. "Come on, now, we'll go take some pictures of me for you to hang on your wall." Neha wiped her tears and bounded off happily with the Krycek clone.

Rachel turned to the Cabin, smiling very widely now that Neha was back to normal. Then suddenly...??"OH!! MY!!! GOD!!!" came a shriek from Mysti. The entire Cabin, including Mulder and Scully, ran to the fanfic library to find Mysti staring at the walls in shock. "My...my fanfic...where...oh no...it... it's....It's gone!! Where's my fanfic???" Mysti turned to her friends in a panic, but was distracted from her hysteria by Steph's incessant laughing.

"Oh, Mysti!!" she wheezed. "You are so funny!!" As she looked at the stricken faces of her cabin mates, Steph doubled over with laughter, falling right on the floor. Suddenly, a weird glow filled the room and all the missing fanfic magically reappeared onto the shelves. Mysti fell onto her knees from joy, Steph continued her hysteric laughing, every so often experiencing a renewed bout of laughter brought on by the cracks of the ceiling or the cloud patterns she could see out the window.

Laura 47 cried, "They're back to normal!! Everything is okay!!" The cabin cheered. Someone flicked on the tape recorder and played the snazzy swing music from act four of "Triangle" and they all danced.

"Wait a second!!" Scully shouted. The Cabin quieted down. "What just happened here?"

Mulder just shook his head. "Scully, even *I* don't have a theory for this one." He flashed his to-die-for smile at his partner, then bent his head toward hers. "You have to admit, though," he said, "this place..."

"Mulder." Scully said. She smiled. "I know." The two simply stared at each other for a moment, then as if suddenly conscious of who they were, where they were, and what they were doing, looked away and moved apart.

The Cabiners just sighed. Except for one. "NO!!! No no no no no no NO!!!" Mysti walked up to them. "Hello??? What was *that*? You were *this close*!! Mulder, my man, have some GUTS!! I saw your face when you were reading that fanfic!! And Scully! I saw *your* face when Maryann yelled about Mulder loving you!! You're no longer at that sadistic man's mercy!! COME ON AND ADMIT WHAT YOU"RE FEELING AND *KISS ALREADY!!!*" At that Mysti took the inhaler that Rachel so thoughtfully provided for her after a rant and took a puff. Then she bent her head. "I guess it'll just never happen...." she mumbled sadly, walking away.

Mulder watched her go. Then, in a move eerily reminscent of Triangle, grabbed Scully and kissed her. The resulting gasp from the Cabin caused Mysti to turn around. Upon seeing what Mulder and Scully were doing, she screamed---then abruptly fainted.

Rachel, Alyssa, and Lesa rushed to her side. "Mysti!! Mysti!!" Other cabin members formed a circle around the Shipper Queen. "Mysti!!" they said shaking her. "Mysti!!"

Mysti, however, was forgotten as the MulderClones carried a bound and heavily protesting Carter into the cabin. She was left to awake on her own as various Xers surrounded Carter, whom the MulderClones deposited onto a chair, to which Heather helped them tie his wrists.

"Okay, Carter. Listen up... A certain amount of torture is permissible, but you've gone far past the brink of insanity." Julia began.

"THE BRINK OF INSANITY!!" Steph repeated in an extremely loud voice for some indiscernible reason. She was clearly back to normal, as was further obvious when she punctuated her statement by falling out of her chair.

"So get Mulder and Scully back in the basement where they belong, bump off that slumb*tch Diana, and stop torturing the shippers quite so much, kay?" said Rachel, surprising everyone. She'd never talked like that before... Maybe things weren't quite back to normal...

Mysti happily joined them at this point, and added an extremely long diatribe on the joys of shipperdom, concluded by forcing Carter to read a few scenes from various great fanfics.

"Oh, and definitely keep Kickass!Scully around," Susan and several other Xers chorused.

"Please." interjected a MulderClone.

The real Mulder smiled at the real Scully, who simply gave him one of her enigmatic raised eyebrows.

Carter appeared to be considering the idea, and said: "Okay, you guys... I'll give it some thought... Maybe the viewers do count for something... I mean, they are the reason the show has been so successful... Maybe I shouldn't be so mean to them. At the very least, I can stop the discontinuity-generator. In your Camp Brandy anyway. In the show is another matter..."

That was apparently good enough for the odd light that had brought him there. It returned him to reality. Then the light bathed every cabin member, assuring that they would be restored to their relatively normal states.

"Hey," Mysti stated softly, still a bit dazed. "They...." Her face broke into a wide grin. "They kissed...." The grin widened further.

"Yeah," Jennifer answered, "and they still haven't come up for air." She gestured in the direction of the two agents, who were the only remaining evidence of all that had transpired. Sure enough, their lips were still locked.

After a moment, Mulder and Scully finally separated, though they remained very close to eachother. "We should go," Mulder whispered gently. "There's work waiting for us back in reality, new truths to uncover..."

"More paper work," Scully added.

"Your apartment," he suggested with a teasing grin.

As various members of the cabin gasped with pleasure, Mulder turned to address the Xers. "Our work is done here," he declared, "But feel free to call us any time." Then he paused for a moment. "Oh, and could you send me some of that fanfic?" he added before turning back to Scully. "Come on," he told her. "Let's go."

With a nod, and a concerned glance in Mysti's direction, Scully turned to follow him out. "Will she be okay?" She asked over her shoulder.

"She'll be fine," Lauren(aol) answered.

"Yeah," Lisa added. "This happens all the time."

"If you say so..." Scully answered with a shrug. Then she followed her partner out.

As the two agents left, they passed two campers on their way back in. "Hey," Cassadra declared as she entered, "was that..." But the agents had disappeared.

"Yeah," Rissa added from next to her. "Did we just pass... no... they wouldn't come here..."

"But they did!" Liz insisted.

"You mean..." Cassandra asked.

"Mulder and Scully were here?" Rissa finished.

"Yeah," Michelle(nonspeedo) answered. "And you wouldn't believe what happened!"

Suddenly, there was a clamor in the cabin, as everyone competed to be the first to tell all that had happened. ""There were continuity errors-" Becca began.

"Only we didn't know that-" Julie(not Umbra!girl) cut her off.

"So we called Mulder and Scully-" Michelle(speedo) added.

"And Rachel and Julia figured it out-" Phoebe contributed.

"But the fanfic all disappeared-" came from Sara.

"And the MulderClones let out all the animals-" Rash added.

"Because they were jealous-" Laura5 explained.

"And then they kissed," Sarah added.

"Like really kissed," Jessica agreeed.

"And that was after Mysti gave CC a piece of her mind-" Siobhan broke in.

"You should have seen it!" Deanna exclaimed as Lori cut her off with, "It was crazy!"

"And Steph was sane," Laura47 added in a voice so loud everyone else fell silent, grateful that she was back to her usual self. "And I was quiet,and liked Spender-" Laura paused to gag at the thought, "and Rachel was hyper and Julia turned shipper!"

Cassandra held up a hand. "Whoah," she declared. "I don't even think I got a third of that!"

Rissa just stood there, wide eyed. "They kissed?" she repeated, stunned, as Rachel strove to explain to Cassandra.

"Well," she tried in her normal calm tone, "Some stuff in the cabin was weird- Things and people were missing, Steph was sane, and so forth, so we called Mulder and Scully to help, figured out that Chris Carter was plaguing us with continuity errors, then we got rid of him, things returned to normal, Mulder and Scully kissed... Chris Carter got what was coming to him... and, well, that's pretty much it..."

"But they kissed!" Rissa declared. "That's what really matters."

Then Cassandra's mouth dropped open. "Unless..." she half said and half muttered..."What if that was a continuity error too?"

Rissa gasped. "No...." she moaned as half the cabin moaned with her.

"But that's not possible!" Mysti declared from the floor. "It can't be! That was after we were all back to- unless- unless-" Before she could finish, Rachel tossed her the inhaler, and she took a long puff. "It can't be," she repeated more softly, "can it?"

Rachel shrugged. Once again, CC had worked his evils upon them. Much as most of them hoped it had truly occurred, there was really no way to know. Rachel sighed, then returned to the pad of paper on her bed. She had a story to write, but at least now, she had something to say... As she picked up her pen, the entire cabin rejoiced around her. She dropped the pen without a second thought so that she could make a toast with Julia, Mysti and Laura, and the writers and the rest of the cabin cheered, and there was much rejoicing.

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Hope you had fun. Feel free to add/suggest changes.

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