I am worried that my wife won't need me if she has a doula.
Is this true?

One of the hardest aspects of labor is watching the woman you love working so hard to birth your baby. With all the changes in maternity care, more and more fathers are expected to assume a role of "labor authority." Many men aren't comfortable in the role of labor expert. They would rather just be there to do what they do best...love and support their partner. The father’s role is extremely important, but you also needs encouragement, support, snacks, bathroom breaks, and help with supporting your partner. Dads are at a birth to BE. Doulas are at a birth TO DO.

 

 
Doulas anticipate needs, help parents gain the information needed to make informed choices and supply continuous emotional and physical support for both the laboring woman and her partner. Dads may also "do" things, but their most important job is to be there to provide love and support. A doula will also provide caring and attention, but it's not the same. No one can replace a loving husband. After a birth, we find that the dads are usually our biggest "walking billboards!"

A wonderful California doula, Kellie Way, puts it like this:
One way to understand the need for a doula is by comparing it to sports. I have watched football on t.v. I understand it: you have downs and the offense either passes or rushes to put the ball in the end zone for 6 points, then kicks a field goal for 1 point. The defense tries to stop the offense. So...do you want me to coach your favorite team during the super bowl? Sure, I know the basics but I have never been on the field. I've never worked with the defensive or offensive coaches, never dealt with an injured player and there are many obscure rules and strategies that I don't have a clue about. Wouldn't it be better for the team if I worked along side of an experienced coach like Bill Walsh? Seems like I would have a much more favorable outcome if Bill was there to give me a thumbs up or some sage advice during a critical play. The team might be a little bit more relaxed and confident knowing that Bill's experience was behind me and sharing the pressure would allow me to enjoy this once in a lifetime experience a little more.


Is a doula beneficial if I am considered a high-risk pregnancy?

Absolutely!! The emotional and physical support that doulas provide are especially valuable in complicated pregnancies or deliveries. You can't have too many hands surrounding you and helping you at this time. Your movements may be restricted and being at high risk can make you especially susceptible to the "fear-tension-pain" cycle. It is hard to trust your body when you are vulnerable and stressed. It takes a lot of knowledge to help you through a complicated delivery and the doula can help you labor and birth in ways that will decrease your stress by helping you stay relaxed and informed.


I am scheduled for a cesarean section. Why do I need a doula?

Many women choose to have a doula present for a cesarean birth. During the surgical preparations, a doula can help you stay relaxed and answer any questions or concerns. Since the operating room is unfamiliar to many women, a doula can reassure that both you and your partner understand the situation and are equipped with necessary information to make informed choices. A doula can also take pictures of the child’s birth and is available postpartum. After birth, your partner may accompany your baby to the nursery. A doula will stay with you while your incision is being attended to and many times can accompany you into the recovery room so that you are not alone.


My first baby was born by cesarean. I really want to have a vaginal birth. Can a doula help me?

A doula is especially valuable with VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) births. Most women who have had a previous cesarean can successfully have a vaginal birth if they are educated, prepared and surrounded with a birth team believing in their ability to birth their child. Dr. William Sears states in his book The Birth Book that nationwide statistics for a successful VBAC are 20% but studies show that the use of a doula or professional labor assistant can increase a woman's chances to 75-90%. A doula will meet with you prenatally to discuss your feelings, concerns or anxieties regarding the previous birth experience. In addition, she will discuss available options with you and work with you on a birth plan. She will be a constant support during your labor and birth and helps empower you to feel that "I can do this." A doula also helps you prepare for unexpected outcomes and helps you understand that fulfillment in birth does not depend on the absence of medical interventions if they become necessary. In the event that a repeat cesarean is necessary, she can accompany you and your partner and provide physical, emotional, and informational support for the miracle of your child’s birth.


Where do I find a doula and how much do they cost?

The birth of your child will be one of the most important moments in your life. Professional labor support can mean the difference between a positive birth experience and a disappointing one. A doula will spend many hours prenatally preparing you to have a positive birth experience. She will be on call for your birth 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The following excerpt from The Birth Book, Everything You Need To Know To have a Safe and Satisfying Birth by William & Martha Sears may provide you with some insights:

Get referrals from your childbirth class, your care provider, VBAC awareness group or hospital. Network with other mothers in parenting organizations such as "LaLeche League" or "Mothers of Twins." The best source is other women who have used a doula at their birth. Expect to pay between $300-$1,000 for the services of a doula, she is worth every penny. Some insurance companies are beginning to cover the cost of labor support but you may have to build a case for yourself and show them studies that the presence of a doula lowers the total costs. Even if you do have to pay her yourself, you can’t put a price tag on the benefits you incur by keeping your birth as natural as possible. Many of these benefits are lifelong for you and your baby. Be aware that even "routine" but possible unnecessary interventions add up quickly i.e., I.V.=$150plus, an epidural can range from $600-$1200. Even if she helps you decrease some simple interventions you can easily make up her fee in savings on your insurance deductible.


I want an epidural. Can I still have a doula?

If you choose an epidural or other pain medication, the doula will bring her knowledge and offer suggestions during the labor process. While on medication, you will need to remain in bed, and a doula can make suggestions regarding positioning. With or without pain mediations, your doula will be there to comfort, support, and assist you with this emotional and physical transition.

I am planning on laboring at home until I am in active labor. Will a doula listen to my baby’s heart tones or do a vaginal exam to see how far along I am? What else can you tell me about a doula’s role?

As doulas, we do not . . .

  • Replace your primary support person (husband, mother, or significant other) but are also there to support them.
  • Perform clinical tasks, such as blood pressure, fetal heart tone checks, and vaginal exams. We are there to provide physical comfort, emotional support and advocacy.
  • Make decisions for you. We will help you to receive necessary information to make an informed decision and to remind you of any departure from your birth plan. We will discuss concerns with you and suggest options, but you or your partner will need to speak to the clinical staff on your behalf.


How do I choose a doula?

We at Birth Matters believe that a doula should have compassion, knowledge, and caring respect for childbearing women and their families. We will make every effort to match you with a doula who best meets your needs. At any time, if you have any concerns with your doula, we will be happy to rematch you with another doula. During pregnancy, you will meet with your doula at least once to become acquainted and to explore and discuss anxiety or concerns and goals of your birth. She will inform you if there are any times she is unavailable for labor support and arrange for you to meet with a back-up doula. As your doula, we will provide reassurance and perspective to you and your partner, make comfort suggestions for labor progress, and help with relaxation, breathing, massage, positioning, and other techniques for your comfort. We are independent and self-employed. As your doula, we are working for you, not your care provider or the hospital. Our initial meeting is free of charge and does not obligate you to our services.