page updated 8/14/98     




"it's witchy weather, that's what it is"

I am a novice. I have only been taking classes for a 
couple of months.  After the testing by other not-so
-benevolent witches, I resolved to learn to protect	
myself. I have an encounter with the others today. 
I must prepare.


I gather my reference papers, I light the appropriate
color, candles, and correct incense for each element. 
And I meditate.

		
I invoke air. To increase my communication skills, 
I light a yellow candle. I passively banish air.
I am still so nervous, I must calm down before I 
address the issues before me -- so I light a blue 
candle, blue for emotions, for water.
		 
		 
This burns beside the orange and yellow candles. 
I invoke water. I meditate, and banish. I light a
red candle for protection, the southern influence. 
Also good in legal protection -- I may need it so I
invoke fire. I meditate and then I banish fire. 

	
I say a silent prayer to God and the Goddess asking 
for protection, guidance and wisdom.
		


I banish all the elements. 


I get ready. Write down a statement and the questions
I want to ask. I ground (invoke grounding -- earth).
I take a few deep breaths and then banish and drive 
to the meeting at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance center. 

		 

It started to rain huge drops, far apart. I stop and 
get $1 of gasoline and go on down to the center.
When I get there the only persons there are Grace
and a few people from "their side". I see Perry and 
Randy drive up. I speak to everyone in general. 
		

I feel strangely calm and remote. Sort of like I 
wasn't really there, someone else was.
		


After all the members of the Board arrive with the 
8 who are suppose to devise guidelines for the new 
organization, they all go into another section to talk. 
It starts storming.  Lightening, thunder, heavy rain 
that turns to hail. Most is marble size but a few get 
almost softball size. I remember wondering if I caused
this by invoking air, water, and grounding in succession. 
The hail continues for an hour.	It doesn't stop hailing 
until the cloisered group come out of seclusion and join
the general membership.


The meeting finally begins. I ask my questions - almost detached 
from the prodeedings. I calmly accept or reject their
explanations. I actually reprimand Susan, Darrell, and Perry for 
acting without all the facts. Some of my questions  are specifically
him. (I did it on the table. Tracing the sigil upon the table behind 
my purse and my other hand, no one saw me but they KNEW I did some-
thing.)
		
Jeannine and Susan actually jumped a little and looked at me. I kept
my mind focused on James having to tell the truth. When he answered
my question, he said he felt compelled to tell me. (Did I really 
compell him by my concentration -- accepting nothing but the truth?)
I feel I know the truth now.

I was asked to be secretary again. God & Goddess help me! I accepted.
I meant to refuse. I leave the meeting stunned. As I was leaving the
Alliance building, a group of people were looking at the solid sheet
of hail covering the sidewalk, grass, parking lots and lying in the
deep dents on the new cars. I over heard a couple of the older men
say, "have you ever seen anything like this?" To which Jeannine's 
friend answered. "It's witch weather, that is what it is." He looked
suspiciously in my direction and stepped out of my way.

	
		
I am writing what happened yesterday and I am so scared of what is
to be and what happened, I am shaking and tears are in my eyes. 
Did I do this? Just how strong is my magic?



 A CRYSTAL BALL 

She sat looking out the cafe window.  She was thinking about the 
old crystal ball in the antique store down the street.  It called 
her like nothing had in ages.  Someone who didn't know a thing about 
magic or second sight had placed it in direct sunlight.  But oh, 
It called her. 

She looked down at her nearly empty purse, and wondered "how can 
I get my crystal ball?" .  She emptied out her purse onto the table.  
Counting the pennies loose in the bottom she had... a whole three 
dollars.  When she paid for her hot chocolate, that would leave two. 

The crowd in the cafe was growing.  Someone sitting in the booth next 
to her was talking about fortune tellers.  "They can't really see the 
future, you know." the unseen man said. 

A voice that tinkled like oriental wind chimes laughed and replied.  
"Of course they can, doubting Thomas.  If I could find one, I would 
pay fifty dollars to have your reading done and prove it to you." 

'Once again the Goddess provides' she thought.  "Madam, are you 
serious about finding a fortune teller?" 'Oh, my god,' she thought
"I can't believe I just said that."  Everyone knew you were not 
supposed to charge for magic.  'She offered money, that is within 
acceptable limits.. if I were Gypsy, I wouldn't blink an eye at 
accepting money, and I need this money to get my crystal ball.' 

Rising slowly, she walked the few steps to the booth.  She looked 
less like a fortune teller than the woman requesting the services
on behalf of the young gentleman.  The tall willowy blonde in an 
exotic caftan with a turban perched precariously upon her  head 
motioned her closer.  She sat at the invitation of the couple, and 
began focusing on the candle in the wine bottle on the table. 

She wished once again for a tape recorder so she would know what 
information she imparted to the couple after the trance let up.  
It really didn't matter. The knowledge would be for him, not 
herself.  And then she would take the money and rescue 
the beautiful crystal ball enthroned upon the bed of wrought
iron tripod stand and black velvet.

AN EXERCISE IN CONTOL

You receive an engraved invitation to a party.  You are 
instructed to wear dress slacks, and a button-up shirt 
but to leave three buttons undone.   

A limo will pick you up at the curb in front of your 
residence.  You will receive fruther instructions from 
the person inside. The limo arrives and I am waiting 
inside.  I smell of exotic scents.  I smile a greeting 
to you as I pour two glasses of champagne. 

As you sit beside me, I begin your instructions.
"For tonight your name is Slave.  You may address me 
as Mistress or Ma'am.  Is that agreeable with you slave?"  
I silently await your answer.  You realize it must be an 
affirmative or the adventure is over before it is begun.

You answer with a soft "yes Ma'am."  

And I continue..."The driver has instructions to drive 
around until we have the ground rules understood.  Once 
this adventure begins, there will be only one way to 
stop it.  You may choose a "safe" word... It will not be
stop, don't or anything like that.  It must be something
outlandish enough to be out of context with the planned 
activities."  I pause, take a sip of champagne, and 
look pensively at you.  "Do you understand, and do you 
want to continue?"   I can see the emotions chase 
themself across your face -- anticipation, curiosity, 
hunger, lust, --all more  passionate than the trace of 
fear and uncertainty I see flicker in your eyes.

"Yes Mistress." Again, the only choice to allow the 
excursion to continue.  

"Choose your safe word, slave."  A tiny smile caresses 
my lips.  I reach out and place a blindfold upon your 
face.

"Lizard" you say.  I hear a quiver in your voice.  
The fear just got stronger.

(written June 25, 1998)



1998 wilderness
(an essay on unfairness)

What Century is this?

	People huddle inside wooden dwellings. Cold north wind blows 
	fiercely, sending shards of fine sleet sharp enough to cut your 
	skin should you be unlucky enough to be outside.  People ill dressed
	 for weather temperatures in the single digit or below zero range.  
	Candle light flickers.  Blankets wrapped around limbs so cold they 
	feel like thy would break should you stand up.  

	Midieval  ages - you guess - Nope!   Wrong answer.   
	For thousands of folks across the United States are so impoverished
	that they have no heater, no fuel or warm clothing.  the year is 
	1998 - and I am one of the cold.

	We are lucky.  We have electricity and a few electric heaters, even -
	oh luxury!- an electric blanket on our bed.  But here are others 
	freezing to death while warm, well dressed, well fed politicians sit 
	in warm buildings deciding they need more money and the budget would 
	best be balanced by cutting welfare...

	Why not balance the budget by firing the entire bunch of them,  and 
	hiring - not electing  more- just tell them all we are downsizing to
	fix our cash flow problems.  Then we can look for people who are 
	qualified for the positions at reasonable salaries.  The extra 
	billions could go for care for the disabled, elderly, and those 
	people who fall between the chasms currently called cracks in the 
	insurance racket. Maybe even feeding our starving families instead 
	of the underfed of other nations.  What a concept!?