(Fatuously Asked Questions)
1. Why the new simplified look?
2. S'Matter? Can't you DO pointless memory hogging animation?
3. What is the significance of the recurring use of the name "Jones" in CooperToons?
4. Have there been any collections of CooperToons published?
5. How many copies were in the first printing?
7. Are any CooperToons available in electronic editions?
9. Are the stories in the "Merry History" section accurate?
10. Which one needs revising the most?
11. Awright. Let's get to the point. Why doesn't CooperToons put a fresh new cartoon on everyday?
12.That all sounds fine, but rumors are the lack of a daily cartoon is really because CooperToons is emphasizing doing work for paying markets. Is that true and how does that square with CooperToons' oft repeated sanctimonious statement that "art should be free to all"?
Return to CooperToons Homepage
1. Why the new simplified look?
I thought it would be interesting to see how people react to a simple, legible, and easily used web site.
Now I KNOW that what people REALLY want is a web site that has idiotic flashing icons, pointless memory-hogging animations, bloated unwieldy graphics, pop-up ads they never read, and text that is virtually identical in color to the background.
But there you are.
2. S'Matter? Can't you DO pointless memory hogging animation?
Sure, click here.
3. What is the significance of the recurring use of the name "Jones" in CooperToons?
Despite what some say, it does not refer to any particular individual. Instead there's a number of reason why the name "Jones" appears so frequently.
1. First, "Jones" is unique in many respects. It is the only name with five letters, the first of which is "J" and the last being "s" with only the three letters "o", "n", "e" between them in that order and without repetion. You can't get more unique than that.
2. Secondly, "Jones" affirms CooperToons' solidarity with the working man as the true intellectual of our times. The story is that at Jesus College, Oxford you can walk into the quadrangle and shout "Jones!" and every window will fly up.
3. Finally, "Jonez" is very easy to spell.
4. Have there been any collections of CooperToons published?
Technically, yes. There WAS one small edition printed.
5. How many copies were in the first printing?
Oh, maybe twenty-five.
My mother-in-law thought it was funny.
7. Is CooperToons available in electronic editions?
Yes, there is "The Best of CooperToons" on CD.
How much have you got?
9. Are the stories in the "Merry History" section accurate?
We-hellll, let's just say that they contain the facts as known to the author at the time. Professional historians, though, keep screwing up everything by doing research and unearthing new facts, not only about history but about some of the scoundrels and scalawags who have written what is supposed to be history. But it is true some of the Merry Histories definitely need revising.
For more FAQ's on the Most Merry and Illustrated Histories" click here.
10. Which one needs revising the most?
Without doubt the "Merry History of the Gunfight at the OK Corral". Since it was written one of its major sources was shown to be bullshine, horse hockey, and poppycock.
11. Awright. Let's get to the point. Why doesn't CooperToons put a fresh new cartoon on everyday?
There are three main reasons, none of which can be objected to by loyal patriotic Americans.
First, it became evident that putting up free cartoons everyday was creating a welfare state mentality. This is not good for a country which sort-of elected the Magnificent Dubya as it's leader.
Secondly, whenever CooperToons DID put up a new cartoon he ended up receiving a stream of near-constant abuse from a minor but vocal minority who whined and sniveled that the cartoon "wasn't funny" or they "didn't get it". And when CooperToons put up an archive (at the request of some so-called fans) demands spiraled out of control with the insistence that all the sections and even the individual cartoons, for crying' out loud, carry a date. And finally someone wanted the DAY of the WEEK put on the cartoons. CooperToons decided screw that.
Thirdly, CooperToons, in striving to continually improve his art, can't waste his time pandering to a bunch of whiney, sniveling crybabies.
12. That all sounds fine, but rumors are the lack of a daily cartoon is really because CooperToons is emphasizing doing work for paying markets. Is that true and how does that square with his oft repeated sanctimonious statement that "art should be free to all"?
Art should be free to those who can afford it.