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(permission
to post this article at this website given by the author)
This
article was originally published in the May 1992 issue of ReMaineing Home,
the newsletter of the Maine Home Education Association. The issues and
ideas discussed here are as relevant today as they were then.
Not so many
years ago information for new homeschoolers was scanty, the home education
marketplace was virtually nonexistent, and support was where you found it.
Now, there is a river of organizations, resources, products, information,
and opinion. The newcomer to home education, and even the veteran, can
feel a bit paralyzed. Our support group gets lots of telephone calls at
this time of year from bewildered parents who ask, "What is all this
stuff?". Here are just a few topics that have been discussed on our
support group telephone lately, along with my opinions of course.
The
Homeschooling Community
Support
groups: It can be helpful to spend time with parents and children
who are healthy examples of the benefits of home education. But sometimes
it is difficult to find the right group. You may attend a local support
meeting and find that there is great pressure to homeschool in some
specific way that may not be your way. The group may feel that their way
is the only "right" way. In this case you may wish to consider
starting your own support group. Even two or three other families with
whom you feel comfortable will be a sufficient beginning. You are likely
to find your group growing larger once people begin to identify it as the
local "alternative" support group.
Starting
a support group: Unless you truly live in the wilderness, if you
look for other homeschoolers you will find them. You can begin with an ad
in a regional flyer, a poster at the library, or a telephone call to a
regional or state home education organization which you respect. A support
group in which parents and children join in real activities will be more
fun and more supportive than a group which does nothing but sit in chairs
and have abstract discussions.
Leaders:
Local homeschooling leaders are usually outgoing and gregarious people who
like to put families in touch with one another. They are handy to have
around because they tend to just go ahead and do what needs to be done.
Like people we know in other situations, some leaders are well intentioned
and useful, while others make a big mess. Some are accepting and
generously open to a wide variety of opinions and practices; others
aren't. It is convenient to depend on somebody else to get things done,
but it is wise to avoid leaders who rarely ask us how we feel about what
we are doing. Support those who encourage the widest possible sharing of
ideas and points of view. These people are facilitators who, instead of
only speaking to us and for us, make it possible for us to speak with each
other.
Tolerance:
Nobody knows the exact number of parents who are practicing home education
in the United States, but there are many thousand upon thousands of us,
and each of us has our own unique approach to home education, to family
life, and to life itself. I have learned a great deal from other parents,
even from those with whom I have disagreed on some issues. Parents who
care about their children come from a broad American mix of religion,
politics, personal philosophy and background. We can benefit from this
diversity. We all have an interest in healthy children, and this is the
vision upon which we can base our tolerance.
Daily
Life
Patience:
The schools are hysterical about "results"; and they put great
pressure on classroom teachers to get results from their students. One of
the reasons that they constantly need to see result in the form of test
scores is that they have no other way to demonstrate to parents and to
taxpayers that "something is happening". We know what is
happening because we live real lives with our children, and we can plainly
see their growth and development. Just as we don't need to give healthy
children weekly medical exams, neither do we need to constantly examine
their minds. Our job is not the same as that of public school teachers,
and there is no need for us to imitate them.
When
things don't work: When a child has difficulty coping with something is a
school the usual response is to give him or her lots more of it. As a
homeschooling parent you are uniquely free to drop things that don't work
and to try alternatives, even radical alternatives. To modify your plans
in this way does not signify failure; it is a part of an interesting and
fruitful search that can sidestep the pressure and anxiety of schooling
and result in great personal success for your children.
Burnout:
People don't get burnt out when they are free from anxiety and stress, and
feel comfortable with what they are doing. But trying to maintain academic
schedules and goals that are unpleasant and frustrating for everybody in
the family will turn you into a wreck in no time at all. The remedy for
burnout is for the family to calmly rethink priorities. It doesn't matter
if some collection of academic facts is learned this year or next, and, as
homeschoolers, we have the power to make life reasonable for our children
and for ourselves.
The
homeschooling day: Some parents us a curriculum, and others don't.
Some families avoid conventional schooling practices altogether and choose
instead to rely entirely upon daily life and the natural curiosity and
eagerness of children. These parents may decide to provide resources,
tools, support, and encouragement but no lessons and no timetable. Many
families decide to combine elements of both approaches. You may feel very
comfortable with reading or with history but not with mathematics or some
other academic subjects. Your treatment of reading and history may be a
decision to just not interfere with a child who is doing lots of reading
and likes, history, but you may find that you are both interested in a
more systematic (curriculum) approach to math as the child gets older.
Every choice has its consequences, and these choices belong to you and
your children.
Dealing
with the system
Jumping
through hoops: In Maine, as in many other places, we must jump
through certain hoops in order to practice home education with our
children. Fortunately, the "hoops" here are relatively few and
very straightforward. Although it is necessary to apply for
homeschooling approval from the Maine Department of Education, it is
possible to homeschool in this state without a daily schedule and without
a formal curriculum. All that is required is a simple application, regular
contact with a support system, some basic record keeping, and a yearly
assessment of your child.*
Our
relationship with educators: It is always better to be nice.
It is
practical, and it saves wear and tear on human nervous systems. There is
no reason to be in direct emotional confrontation with education
authorities if there are other ways of winning. There are nines and places
where nothing but outright confrontation will work, but it is good to
think deeply about the choice before acting. Be sure that you are acting
from thoughtful consideration of alternatives rather than from purely
righteous indignation.
Political
action: You may receive a telephone-tree call from another
homeschooling parent telling you that you must make calls and write
letters to certain politicians in order to oppose or support pending
legislation. You may be told that it is a crisis and that your right to
practice homeschooling is at risk. It is a good idea to use your own brain
in deciding whether or not to comply with such requests. Ask the caller to
explain the danger in precise terms, and then ask yourself if it makes
sense, or might be the result of an overheated imagination. Do some
research, and find out everything you can about the situation. If you do
as you're told and begin making calls without verifying the need, you are
allowing yourself to be stampeded into being just another soldier in
somebody else's political action army.
Home
education insurance: Some families pay money to the Virginia based
Homeschool Legal Defense
Association (HSLDA) for insurance against the possibility that they
may end up in a court battle with their local or state education
authorities. The family pays a yearly fee, and the HSLDA will handle the
confrontation. However, part of the price is that you must first promise
to practice home education in a manner that is acceptable to the HSLDA.
This definitely means "traditional". Also, you must not speak on
your own behalf but leave all negotiations to the HSLDA. Concerns have
been expressed in the national home education media that this is not the
way for citizens to make their voices heard, that, given the numbers
nationally, few people are so threatened as to require legal
representation, and that ultimately such representation acts negatively
against self sufficiency and empowerment on the part of homeschooling
citizens. Again, every choice has its consequences.
Academics
Basic
skills: Be wary of too much emphasis on "basic skills"
and how kids need to acquire them just as quickly as possible. If you sit
in on an elementary school classroom or read through a curriculum you will
see that much of what is taught is nothing more than a structured, rigid,
and sometimes bizarre way of presenting what children will easily learn on
their own if nobody makes a big fuss about it. What children are unable to
learn on their own can be learned at a time that is sensible and
convenient for both the parent and the child. Learning to talk is a basic
skill, and our children learn to do it very well without a curriculum or a
timetable.
Reading:
It is too bad that reading is considered an academic discipline. Reading
is not a "subject", it is a way of life. Encouraging children
over an unhurried period of time to embrace reading as a joyful,
fulfilling, and useful aspect of their lives is much easier on them and
you (and also more effective) than running after them with method books
and flash cards when they turn five years old. The risk of conventional
reading programs is that often they produce kids who may have memorized
lots of rules but have been turned off by bad literature, nonsensical
quizzes, and endless quibbling about the rules of pronunciation.
Staying
on the academic track: An academic subject that is a source of
anxiety and frustration for both child and parent can be dropped and then
taken up again a year or two down the road without all the negative
connotations and fear of failure. I have seen this happen many times.
You
know your own children, and you are perfectly capable of making this kind
of decision. Be on guard the moment somebody tells you that your
homeschooled child should be "keeping up" with the grade level
of his or her peers. It is bizarre and ridiculous to claim that some skill
or collection of facts must be learned by "grade three" or
"age eight". Grade level expectations are an arbitrary mess
created for the purposes of mass education, and no thoughtful educator
takes them seriously when applied to individual children in a home
environment.
The
growth of the home education movement
Products:
Mixed in with many useful and sometimes inspired products being sold in
the home education marketplace, there is also plenty of junk. Some of it
is worse than useless; it is counterproductive, even abominable. This
situation is no different from that of any other marketplace, and nobody
is forcing us to buy. Before you buy, think carefully about how the
product applies to you and you family.
Conferences:
Home education conferences can be useful, even exciting, but caveat
emptor. Think of it as a large gathering of products and ideas.
While some
of them may be terrific, others are not, and still others are just plain
stupid. It is like everything else in life: There is no substitute for
clear thinking.
Experts:
There aren't any. But there are lots of good ideas out there, some
often
in unlikely places. Listen to everybody, but avoid the trap of becoming a
follower. Even those speakers and writers who sometimes make a lot of
sense are not experts on you or your family. Currently there are a lot of
people going about making solemn pronouncements about their methods and
systems and formulas for homeschooling success. If we are not impressed by
certificates, credentials, and self aggrandizement among public educators
then there is no reason why we should be impressed by them within the home
education movement.
The
Right Way: Some people will tell you that your child needs to be
taught in some specific way. But there isn't any "right way".
Homeschooling is an opportunity for independent thinking and self
confidence, not imitation and conformity. We can't discover what is
personally important when we are following somebody else's directions.
If
we ask ourselves difficult questions about homeschooling, about the
education of children; about the nature of childhood, about-life itself,
then we will do well for our children. Questions can be more important
than answers. The person who is open to possibilities will continue to
learn and will be an example for his or her children. Homeschooling isn't
just another academic choice. It is a path of personal discovery and
growth for everybody in the family.
*Maine's
Home Education Laws has changed since this article was written. For
more information, please visit the Maine
Department of Education's Home Education Website at:
http://www.state.me.us/education/hs/homepage.htm
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