Dee Beetem

Just the other day I got to read a fanzine that I’d long been anticipating. I discovered to my pleasure that the writer’s characterization was good. The dialogue and settings were well done. And the premise was very appropriate, true to the ‘flavor’ of one of my favorite series. Why, then, did I ultimately find the novel to be disappointing?

I was disappointed because a story ultimately rises and falls on its plot, and unfortunately, this story contained three major plot killers. I know that we fans care most about the characters—the guys (and rarely gals) whom we love. But even with fan fiction, the reader still winds up asking the question, "Wow! What happens next??? " If the reader stops asking that, the story has lost its purpose—and all the angst and hurt/comfort in the world won’t be able to save it.

The Usual Suspects: Three Common Plot Killers

1. Gratuitous Acts of Villainy:

"Would you prefer another target, perhaps? A military target?"—Grand Moff Tarkin, Star Wars

Too often, villains in fan fiction are nothing but cardboard puppets. In the Real World, the bad guys usually have an agenda that is just as coherent and understandable as the good guys’ agenda. No street criminal would waste his time beating up Hutch just so Starsky can comfort him—only fans would be interested in that sort of thing. When a bad guy’s Evil Plan makes no real sense, when his only interest is causing grief for Our Heroes, then you have a plot device, not a true antagonist, and your respect for the heroes probably dims a little. To make a great hero, you need to have a great villain. Darth Vader, Hannibal Lector, Mrs. Tweedy—these are villains you can sink your teeth into—because their plans just as easily could have worked.

2. Deus Ex Machina (the God in the Machine):

"I believe in coincidences—coincidences happen every day. But I do not depend upon them."—Garak, DS9

A coincidence or two at the beginning of a story can be a fine way to get the plot bunnies jumping—or to put Our Heroes into trouble that is demonstrably not their fault. But when it turns out at the very climax of the plot that the crisis is resolved, the villains are thwarted, or the day is saved by a coincidental event instead of by the heroes’ honest efforts, your readers are going to feel cheated. Besides, it’s harder to swallow coincidences in a written medium like fan fiction than in a visual medium like TV, where the action is fast and furious and there’s no time to think about what you’re seeing. In short, Deus Ex Machina is a plot device that went out with Zeus.

3. Wussing Out on the Good Fight:

"If it bleeds, it leads."—Old newspaper maxim

In every story, there has to be a conflict. You don’t always need to include boo-boos, but at some point, A has to go up against B. Blake’s 7 versus the Federation, The Old Man and the Sea, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. In fan fiction, however, the writer often will say to herself, "Well, that’s not what I really care about. What I want to write about is how much the guys mean to each other. I’m not interested in what happens to the villain." So, after a hundred suspenseful, angst-ridden pages of suffering and emoting, Our Heroes finally arrive at the villain’s Secret Lair, only to discover that the bad guy has inexplicably changed his mind for no good reason or tripped over his shoelace or something (incorporating Plot Killers One and Two). This is bad for two reasons:

1. If the villain was a pushover, the importance of the heroes’ earlier actions begins to unravel in the reader’s mind.
2. After a hundred pages of suspense, the reader’s adrenaline is flowing and she wants to see blood!!!

Was anybody besides me frustrated when after seasons of buildup, Babylon 5’s Shadow War finally culminated with the Vorlons and Shadows being sent to their rooms after a scolding? What was Straczynski thinking of? Compare this to The Lord of the Rings, where Frodo and Sam finally defeated Sauron at the very Cracks of Doom—at the cost of one of Frodo’s fingers.

For the fan writer who really doesn’t want to deal with fight scenes, there are always Mountain Cabin stories. (Although even there, I think that Our Heroes would probably wind up arguing over the last bag of Cheetos.)