It's common knowledge that February is a bad month for us evil guys. With all those gushy vibes floating around, we villains usually just lock ourselves up in our bathrooms until March comes around. However, Laporte must be immune to good karma, cause he's kicked his evil-doing into HIGH GEAR! With the help of his minions at the C4H Fan Club, the world's most dark-hearted dweeb has done it again. This time he's set his sights on the total annihilation of LOVE ITSELF! My sources tell me that tests are well underway on a top secret Valentine's Day Virus that, when executed, will completely confuse the emotion of love in the victim. Apparently, 6 unwitting test subjects (seen above), have already been infected with the dreaded VDV. If my sources are correct, Silicon Ali likes Fake Evil Charles, Fake Evil Charles likes Danyelle Mullinax, Danyelle Mullinax likes Theo Laporte, Theo Laporte Likes Evil Poncho, and of course, everybody likes Kate ;). Not even Pythagoras himself could make sense of this twisted love triangle. Once testing is complete on the VDV, the C4HFC will bear the burden of it's distribution. Unfortunate web surfers who stumble onto the C4HFC's website will be bombarded with what can only be described as "icky" love rays. Not even Cupid himself could defend himself against the malevolent mushiness of the VDV. Symptoms include excessive levels of happiness and joy. If not treated during the first stages of warm and fuzzy feelings, victims of the VDV will be be forced to suffer through a lifetime of, ugh, love. This is, to date, the most sickening plan Laporte has ever conceived BY FAR. However, in the spirit of the season, Reverend Evil Charles will be happy to perform the ceremony of anyone who wishes to be wed. That is, as long as it's not to my dog.