Top Ten Excuses For Losing The Dog Show

10) Mistaken in assumption there would be chance to show off talent for drinking from toilet
9) Thought I saw that little chuckwagon
8) Bad idea going to Don King's barber
7) Caught in a lie claiming to be Cycle Two dog when I'm really Cycle Three
6) Shouldn't have picked Quayle as running mate
5) My lifelong battle with problem drool
4) During spelling portion, spelled "ubiquitous" with two B's
3) Didn't know that was the judge's leg
2) Money goes to trainer anyway, so let him stand naked in Madison Square Garden and get touched by a stranger in a bad suit
1) Like me, the whole thing was fixed