Top Ten Signs You Have a Dumb Dog

10) Lengthy pause after "Bow" while it tries to remember "Wow"
9) Buries tail, wags bones
8) When you give him Alpo, he just eats the meat-by products
7) Despite the overwhelming evidence, still smokes two packs a day
6) Showed up at the Whoopi Goldberg roast in cat face
5) Has suffered over two dozed concussions from toilet seat falling on his head
4) Thinks "Snausages" is a real word
3) Voted for Fred Grandy, Love Boat's gopher, because he really thought he'd be a good congressman
2) Spends hours staring at kitchen cabinet, waiting for tiny horse-and-carriage to come out
1) Constantly chasing people named "Katz"