The Pilot

(Broadcast date 9/22/98)

(In the control room and studio immediately before broadcast)

Voice: Studio A, this is Master Control. You're up on router 7, have a good show.

Dana: Will, show me Denver.

Kim: And I need 15 points of sound on Kansas City.

Will: Denver's up.

Dana: Yes, it is. Give me Green Bay.

Director: Stand by audio, stand by VTR.

Will: Georgia Dome's hot.

Kim: You're hot, Atlanta.

Chris: Somebody? Arrowhead, then back to Mile High? Is that how it goes?

Elliot: We're live here in sixty seconds.

Chris: Somebody? Anybody?

Kim: What do you need?

Chris: Does Arrowhead --?

Kim: Arrowhead bounces to Mile High.

Chris: Thank you.

Director: (to Dana) Why'd you change them?

Dana: Just to mess with your head. (to Natalie) Get me Judy at Oakland-Alameda.

Dan: (to Casey) When you get right down to it, what I'm saying is this, Case: I think you should start getting out of your house.

Claire: Ted, we're going to Arrowhead first, then Denver.

Ted: Got it.

Dan: Just out of your house.

Casey: I am out of my house. I've been out of my house for six months. I don't live in my house.

Director: Thirty seconds to tape. We're coming to the studio in ninety seconds.

Isaac: (entering control room) Good evening.

Dana: Isaac Jaffe's in the house. Natalie.

Natalie: Yo.

Dana: We can make the feed on 43. Just make sure the guys have the change.

Natalie: (loudly into microphone) Casey, did you get the change on Arrowhead and Denver?

Casey: (wincing and ripping earpiece off) Natalie, if you shout into a microphone and I'm wearing an earpiece, it poses the question -- is there a decibel level at which the human head will just, you know, explode?

Isaac: (to Dana) Is he in a better mood than he was this morning, or is this going to be another crappy show?

Dana: (into microphone) Hey, Casey, Isaac wants to know if you're in a better mood --

Casey: Shut up.

Dana: (to Isaac) Pretty crappy, yeah.

Director: Roll tape.

Dana: (into microphone) Good show, everybody.

Dan: (his voice on tape) Tonight on Sports Night we'll show you what comes up and what goes down....

Director: Dan, Casey, we're on you in sixty seconds.

Dan: (reading script and waving hand) Uh, excuse me.

Dana: Dan's got his hand raised.

Dan: Why are we quoting high-level sources inside the Swiss Olympic committee on Helsinki's bid for the 2010 Olympics?

Dana: What's the problem?

Dan: Helsinki's in Finland.

Dana: Really?

Dan: Yeah. Don't worry, I got it.

Dana: Are you sure?

Dan: Am I sure that Helsinki's in Finland? Yeah, I'm quite sure.

Will: I thought it was in Sweden.

Chris: It says "unnamed Swiss Olympic officials."

Natalie: Graphics, which is it, Sweden or Switzerland?

Casey: (annoyed) It's in Finland.

Natalie: Elliot, get something up on the 'net.

Elliot: What do you need?

Natalie: We think Helsinki might be in Finland.

Dan: Yeah, we think there's a pretty good chance.

Director: Coming in live in fifteen.

Dana: We'll change it on the teleprompter.

Dan: Oh. (to Casey) We can go out after the show. You can stay at my place. Whatever you need, whatever you need.

Casey: I'm getting a divorce. I don't need a cruise director.

Dan: Right. My foul. Forget I said anything.

Director: In 5,4,3,2,1.

Dan: (on air) Good evening, everybody, from New York City. I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. Those stories, plus we'll take you live to the locker room at Arrowhead.

Casey: (on air) All that coming up after this. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.

Director: We're out. Up in sixty.

Elliot: (looking at computer screen) Yeah. Finland. The national bird is the whooping swan.

Dan & Casey: (looking over at Elliot, sarcastically, in unison) Thank you.

(Dan enters the newsroom)

Dan: Columbia --34, Colgate -- 3. Who owes me money? (walks through collecting) Thank you.

Casey: (walking with Dan towards their office) Dan, Jayson Grissom got arrested in a strip bar in Houston last night.

Dan: It was only a matter of time.

Casey: Kim and Elliot are on it. (goes into office)

Dan:(walking over to Kim and Elliot) Kim, Elliot. Jayson Grissom -- what's up?

Kim: He shot 12 for 15 from the field and then he went to the Silver Key. It's a nude nightclub.

Elliot: Topless only.

Kim: Some guy called him something he didn't like and Grissom hit him with a bottle of cognac.

Elliot: It was brandy.

Kim: It was cognac.

Elliot: Courvoisier.

Kim: Courvoisier is cognac.

Dan: You get me the lawyer. You get me the agent. Then, get us Jayson Grissom on the phone.

Kim: We can't get Grissom on the phone.

Dan: (walking away) Yes, you can.

Elliot: We are trying.

Dan: Try harder. (enters office)

Casey: (sitting at table working) Thirty-two points. It was a career high and he sends a guy to the hospital with fourteen stitches. Can you imagine if he'd had a lousy game?

Dan: (chuckles in agreement, then pauses) You come in early?

Casey: I came in early.

Dan: You slept in the office.

Casey: I came in early.

Dan: You came in yesterday.

Casey: (exasperated) Mom!

Dan: Have I told you about my New York renaissance?

Casey: Yeah, a lot. You've told me about your New York renaissance a lot.

Natalie: (enters carrying video tapes, which she puts on table) Last night's show. What's up?

Dan: Grissom's free on bail, Casey slept in his office, and I am having a New York renaissance.

Natalie: Cool. Rundown meeting's in five minutes.

(Dana and Isaac walk down hall toward conference room)

Isaac: I think the show's going to hell in a handbasket and I'm ready to fire the whole bunch of you.

Dana: Yes, but you won't 'cause we're all family here and I'm just like a daughter to you.

Isaac: No. This is a television show here and you're very much like an employee to me.

Dana: I've gotta give Casey some slack, Isaac.

Isaac: Why?

Dana: Why do I have to give him some slack?

Isaac: That's the question. If you can't tell me, I can't tell the network.

Dana: Isaac....

Isaac: What? Is there something going on between the two of you?

Dana: Absolutely not.

Isaac: Then why?

Dana: Because I owe it to him, that's why. We all do. Now, he's having some personal problems --

Isaac: Oh, I know all about his problems. You know, the network knows about his problems, too. As a result of which, they become my problems and I'm saying that, at the very most, I want them to be your problems.

Dana: Got it.

Isaac: Do you?

Dana: Yes.

Isaac: Good. (they enter conference room)

Dan: (bringing cups to table for himself and Casey) It's a genuine renaissance, Casey. I have lived in New York my whole life. This is the time I should be sick of it, but I'm not.

Casey: 'Cause you're having a renaissance?

Dan: That's right.

Casey: Really?

Dan: Yeah.

Casey: Nobody cares.

Isaac: So, how do we avoid these Helsinki mishaps in the future?

Dana: We've been shorthanded since Phil and Michael left.

Isaac: Well, hire somebody.

Dana: Natalie's been interviewing people for an associate producer position and I'm meeting her finalists this afternoon.

Natalie: You guys, he is so totally cute and intense. With a dark mystery about him that says this is not a technician, this is an artist. (everyone stares at her for a moment)

Isaac: Well, before you hire him, can you make sure he can find Finland on a map?

Dana: You know, Isaac, maybe let that go.

Dan: (to Casey) The Metropolitan Opera under the baton of Mr. James Levine.

Isaac: What's he talking about?

Casey: His New York renaissance.

Dan: Wanna hear about it?

Isaac: No.

Dana: Good. Quickly now, talk to me, seven through seventeen. We got the whip-around with what?

Dan: Lambeau, 3-com and Foxboro. Casey's got Tampa Bay and the mighty Bengals of Cincinnati.

Dana: What's in Cincinnati?

Dan: Well, the mighty Bengals, for one thing.

Dana: Ah.

Casey: They're going to cut Santori.

Natalie: The place-kicker?

Casey: He's made eight field goal attempts in three games and has connected on a grand total of none of them.

Elliot: Oh, I've met him, he's a good guy.

Casey: He can't kick.

Natalie: He is a good guy.

Casey: He can't kick.

Natalie: He'll get picked up by another team.

Casey: No, he won't. You know why?

Elliot: Why?

Casey: 'Cause he can't kick.

Dana: All right, commercial one, then on to the dugout report.

Elliot: I saw him kick in practice.

Casey: At this level, they pretty much want you to be able to kick in a game.

Dana: Moving on. From center ice --

Kim: I once kicked a twelve-yard field goal in a gym class.

Dan: Well, then you should get yourself a tryout for the mighty Bengals of Cincinnati.

Dana: Excuse me, if anyone needs me, I'll be hurtling myself out the window.

Dan: (to Casey) Plaza Hotel, Oak Bar, dry martini. New York at night, my friend. This city never sleeps.

Dana: Commercial two, then on to segment 24.

J.J.: Actually, I'd like to go back to 23, if nobody minds.

Dana: Any chance we could do it a little later? I wanna move this along.

J.J.: The network would like me to address this now.

Dan: J.J., Dana's the producer. We like to give her the impression she's charge. (everyone laughs)

Dana: It's just that we're a little short on time. Segment 24 --

J.J.: I have some concerns about segment 23.

Casey: Is this you or the network?

J.J.: In these meetings, Casey, mine is the voice the network.

Casey: (sarcastically) Wow, J.J.

Dana: What are your concerns?

J.J.: Who is Ntozake Nelson and why are you doing a three minute and twenty second feature on him?

Dana: Natalie.

Natalie: Ntozake Nelson's a South African distance runner, 15,000 meters. As a school teacher in Jamestown he led protests against the white majority.

J.J.: (interrupting) That's swell, but folks --

Natalie: (cutting him off until he shuts up) He was beaten up and thrown in jail. His legs were broken and the doctors said he'd never walk without a cane. He's forty-one years old, and guess what he's doing tonight?

J.J.: It doesn't matter, 'cause I've already changed the channel.

Dana: He's running in the World Pacific Games, an event this network is carrying live tonight at nine. The Ntozake Nelson feature is promoting --

J.J.: Look, I am all for you guys spotlighting our other programming. But can't we find a good-looking 22year old American who might actually win?

Dana: Well, if you find him, send him over to my place. But in the meantime --

J.J.: Look, I have a ratings book on my desk that's very instructive. Now it says that our key demographics, including 11-17 year olds who watch your morning rerun over breakfast, do not want to see features about 41 year old politically oppressed Third World distance runners. (someone comes in and hands Casey a note) And they are instructing us, and I think it's a good idea to listen.

Casey: I've got Jayson Grissom on the phone. (stands up and turns to J.J.) J.J., Danny and I have hosted shows in the fifth and third largest markets in the country, and we've received awards for journalistic excellence. I prefer not to take my instructions from 11 year olds. And the next time you sit in our rundown meeting and I hear the voice of the network come out of your mouth, I'm going to put my foot on your throat. (silence as Casey leaves the room)

Dan: (to J.J.) You ever ride the subway all day long? I mean, just for the fun of it?

J.J.: Natalie, Kim, Elliot, everybody else, you wanna step outside as well, please?

Dana: Go ahead. (they all leave except for Dan, Dana, Isaac and J.J.) I'd like to apologize for Casey's performance in these meetings lately.

J.J.: Dana, I'm not concerned with Casey's performance in these meetings lately.

Dana: Well, I appreciate your understanding.

J.J.: I'm concerned with Casey's performance on the air lately.

Dan: What's your point?

J.J.: My point is, at the moment, Casey has less on-air charm and charisma than my high school driving instructor, and you know it, Dan. Now, I think the time has come for you to think about the possibility of another partner.

Dan: I'm not gonna do the show with your high school driving instructor, J.J., if that's what you're asking me, okay?

J.J.: Who will you do the show with?

Dan: I'll do the show with Casey.

J.J.: You've got a very big future at this network, Dan --

Dan: My future is writing and anchoring a sports program with my partner, Casey McCall. Now, if it's here, it's here. If it's not, it's someplace else. For right now, I'm going to forget this conversation ever took place. (stands up) Dana, Isaac, you guys need me?

Dana: No, thanks, Dan, you're done. (Dan leaves)

Isaac: I really gotta admire the way you've man-handled my staff this morning, J.J.

J.J.: Look, Isaac, I have a specific --

Isaac: Look. Don't take me on.

J.J.: (stands up and shrugs) The network's not going to wait forever. (leaves)

Isaac: It's your call, Dana. But pretty soon, it's gonna be my call. 'Cause here's the thing: I can't let it be their call. (Dana nods and Isaac leaves)

Dana: (with frustration) Yeah.

(Dana walks through main office. Jeremy is sitting on a couch, waiting)

Dana: (talking to air) They can put a Tonka truck on Mars and send me pictures, but I can't get a decent satellite signal from Buenos Aires.

Jeremy: Excuse me, ma'am. That's probably because of a high pressure system building up around 32 degrees south latitude. It'll blow by in two hours.

Dana: There's weather in outer space?

Jeremy: Uh, no, ma'am. But I think you're leasing time on the Eastec Keyhole Satellite and their signal gets cleared through a tracking station in Mexico City.

Dana: Yeah, but the point I'm making is -- wh-wh-who is this?

Jeremy: (jumping up and shaking Dana's hand) I'm Jeremy Goodwin.

Dana: Ah, you're here for the associate producer job.

Jeremy: Yes, and let me just say that it is an extraordinary honor to even be asked --

Dana: I'm not ready for you yet.

Jeremy: Okay, I'll sit right here. (sits back down on couch)

Dana: Thirty-two degrees latitude.

Jeremy: South latitude.

Dana: (walking away toward Dan and Casey's office) Ah, I get them mixed up.

Jeremy: Common mistake.

Casey: (as Dana enters office) Hey.

Dana: Casey.

Casey: Listen, I need you to take thirty seconds off the NFL injury report and give it to me for the intro on ACC recruiting violations.

Dana: (sitting down) Fine.

Casey: Thanks.

Dana: You're screwing up my show, Casey.

Casey: Keep the thirty seconds.

Dana: That's not what I mean.

Casey: I know. I was joking.

Dana: I know you were joking.

Casey: Yeah, I could tell by the way you didn't laugh at all when I said it.

Dana: That's because I'm mad at you and also it wasn't that funny.

Casey: Dana, did you come in here to give me a pep talk? 'Cause if you came in here to give me a pep talk, can we assume that it already happened, that it worked and that I'm peppy? (stands up and starts to walk away)

Dana: Casey, sit down. (Casey sits) Now, I know you think that there are 250 other people in this business who can produce this show --

Casey: No, I do not think there are 250 other people who can produce this show --

Dana: (talking over him) Yes, you do, and whether you're right and whether you're wrong, I'm the one who has the job and I love it. I love producing Sports Night. I live from eleven to midnight, and the rush is so huge that I don't come down till three o'clock in the morning. I love doing Sports Night, and you used to, too. (pause) Now, I came in to tell you it looks like Cleveland's going to go to a 4-man rotation for the stretch drive. I came in to tell you that segments 16 through 21 might have to get condensed to make room for a possible story coming out of South Bend. (stands) But mostly, I came in to tell you... you're screwing up my show. (walks out) Natalie!

Natalie: Yo!

Dana: Let's meet with your guy. (takes clipboard from Natalie as they walk back to Jeremy)

Natalie: Jeremy, this is Dana Whitaker.

Dana: (shaking Jeremy's hand) We've met.

Jeremy: Yes.

Dana: You have an impressive resume. Let me ask you some questions.

Natalie: (to Jeremy) You look nervous.

Jeremy: I'm okay.

Natalie: Would you like a glass of water?

Jeremy: Uh, no thanks.

Natalie: A soft drink? We have Fresca.

Dana: If you're taking orders, I'll have the angel-hair pasta and a nice Merlot....

Natalie: I'm just --

Dana: Can we interview the man?

Natalie: I'm just trying --

Dana: I know...

Natalie: I'm just trying to make him comfortable --

Dana: ... a little professionalism is all I'm saying.

Jeremy: You know, I can come back later --

Dana: (sitting down) What are your favorite sports?

Jeremy: Uh, I beg your pardon?

Dana: Where are you strongest?

Jeremy: Oh, football.

Dana: Great, let's talk about basketball.

Jeremy: I said football.

Dana: I heard you. Let's talk about basketball.

Jeremy: Uh, we could talk about baseball or hockey.

Dana: Ah, you're pretty strong in baseball and hockey, are ya?

Jeremy: Not as strong as football, but --

Dana: Great. Let's talk about the Knicks.

Jeremy: I walked right into that one, didn't I?

Dana: Well, I left the door wide open for ya.

Natalie: Shot of bourbon?

Jeremy: Please.

Dana: (to Natalie) Sit! I'm sorry, that was harsh, I hurt your feelings. (to Jeremy) Name three things the Knicks need to do this season to make it to the finals.

Jeremy: Um, I couldn't get another question?

Dana: You will, but not until I hear an answer to the first one.

Jeremy: What do the Knicks...?

Dana: Three things the Knicks need to do to contend.

Jeremy: Ms. Whitaker, I would be great at this job. You've got to believe me when I tell you I've been training my whole life for it. I've crunched stats, I've broken down film, and there wasn't a team at my high school that didn't have me for an equipment manager. (stands and begins gesticulating passionately) I've read every box score in every newspaper that's printed in English and has a sports section, and I've seen Sports Night every night since your first broadcast two years, two months and a week ago today. Now yes, sure, indeed, I can tell you what Ewing and Oakley are shooting from the field, and that you're not going to stop John Starkes if he squares up to the basket, and put any defensive pressure on Charlie Ward, he's gonna fold like a cheap card table. But if you're asking me for genuinely sophisticated analyses -- and I sense that you are -- then you've gotta give me some time. At least twenty minutes. (sits back down) Did that make any sense?

Dana: I wasn't really listening.

Jeremy: Oh, God!

Dana: Jeremy, Jeremy, this is television, things happen. If you want to work here, you've gonna have to not spontaneously wig out.

Natalie: Not until an hour before air time.

Jeremy: Right, right. (pause) The Knicks.

Dana: Name three things!

Jeremy: Improve their free throw percentage.

Natalie: Yes!

Jeremy: Run the floor.

Dana: Okay. One more.

Jeremy: Tell Spike Lee to sit down and shut up?

Natalie: Excellent!

Dana: (gets up and slaps Jeremy's hand as she walks past) Well, welcome to Sports Night.

Jeremy: (silently) Yes!

(Dan is sitting at the anchor desk, working on his script)

Dan: (reading out loud to himself as Casey comes in) "Dale Ernhardt, Jeff Gordon and Rusty Wallace were just a few of the big name drivers NASCAR had on hand yesterday at the Darlington Motor Speedway."

Casey: Yesterday, Speedway?

Dan: What's the problem?

Casey: (sits next to him) Well, you don't want the rhyme. You gotta put "yesterday" in the second sentence.

Dan: "Just a few of the big name drivers NASCAR had on hand at the Darlington Motor Speedway. The press event --" (nods to Casey) "-- held yesterday, to announce that -- "

Casey: Hey. We have to talk.

Dan: (still looking at papers) What's up?

Casey: Well, I've been thinking about this for a while, and I want you to know I've given this some thought --

Dan: I think "yesterday"'s gotta go in the second sentence, I'll tell you why.

Casey: I'm thinking about leaving the show.

Dan: (looks up) For how long?

Casey: I've been thinking about it for a while now.

Dan: No, I didn't ask you how long you were thinking of leaving the show, I asked you how long you were thinking of leaving the show for.

Casey: For good.

Dan: (leans back in chair) You get an offer?

Casey: No, I didn't get an offer, Danny. I'm not, I'm not going to another show. I'm talking about getting out of sports.

Dan: Why?

Casey: Look, I'm just tired of it, all right?

Dan: Tired of what?

Casey: (reads off script) "But first this: Sacramento power forward Jayson Grissom was released by a judge in Houston this morning after posting a $50,000 bond." Which, by the way, he paid in cash he happened to have in his pocket.

Dan: So Jayson Grissom's a jackass. You know Jayson Grissom.

Casey: Look, I got into this 'cause I liked getting people to like sports. And I've turned into a P.R. man for punks and thugs. Any atrocity, no matter how ridiculous or hideous or childish, it doesn't matter. I make it sports. Ten cent bag man whacks a skater's leg with a crowbar, that's sports. Second round draft pick gets cranky in a Houston bar, and that's sports. And let's not forget the mother of all great sports stories: a double homicide in Brentwood.

Dan: If you want to talk, I'm all for it. Really. I am. But let's talk about what you need to talk about, okay? The moral decay in American sports isn't the problem here, all right?

Casey: It is the problem. Look, I have a 7 year old son that I get to see on Wednesdays and alternate weekends, and these are his heroes. Now six days a week they're also his male role models.

Dan: Well, quitting your job ought to do the trick.

Casey: Look, Danny, I know I'm leaving you in a lurch --

Dan: No, no, I mean it. You should definitely quit your job because that way sports will be good again. Yeah, and your wife, she'll take you back, and you can be a role model for your son. Knowing as we do how, how women and children, you know, admire the bitter and the unemployed. Are you mental?

Casey: I'll see you at air time. (gets up)

Dan: Yeah, one thing you definitely don't want to do is talk to your friends. You know, I wouldn't do that. (gets up and turns away)

Casey: Hey, I know you're pissed and that's fine, but canning the sarcasm wouldn't out of line.

Dan: "Fine" and "line" rhyme. I'd move "fine" to the second sentence.

Casey: Danny, you'll find another partner. Anybody would kill to do this show with you.

Dan: (turning to face Casey) I've been here every day, Casey. Every day. And I've kept my mouth shut, because that's what you asked me to do. But if you'd have asked me, I'd have told you that Lisa is an angry, unhappy, punishing woman, and that in ten years there has never been a single moment that has suggest to me she has any affection for you at all. (walks past Casey) And I have no patience for people like that. (turns to face Casey again) Now the people here, they like you. Isaac, Natalie, Kim, Elliot... I don't know who this new guy Jeremy is, but he seems to like you just fine. (tiny smile from Casey) Have you even noticed that Dana's been keeping J.J. and the network away from you with a whip and a chair? Huh? Have you noticed that she's been risking her job for you every day? And do you really think, my friend, it has that much to do with your talent? These are people who like you, okay?

Kim: (running up behind Dan) Guys --

Dan: (ignoring her entirely) They know what you've been going through, and for three months you've shown us nothing but the back of your hand --

Kim: Guys --

Dan: -- and now you're going to show us the door? (steps toward Casey) Well, excuse me, all right, but the wisdom of your decision isn't entirely clear to me.

Kim: Excuse me, fellas --

Dan: (still ignoring her and stepping right up to Casey) Yeah, I'm pissed, and you know what? I'm tired of it.

Kim: Dan, Casey --

Dan: (finally turning his head to her) What?!

Kim: There's something going on you're gonna want to see. Come on!

(Dan and Casey stare at each other for a moment, then reluctantly break away and jog out to the newsroom where the rest of the staffers are watching the Nelson race on TV)

Casey: Hey, hey, hey, what's going on?

Dana: Check it out.

Dan: Oh! We need audio!

Casey: That time can't be right. Danny, Danny! Danny, can that time be right?

TV announcer: At 900 meters left, at 41 years old Ntozake Nelson is on a pace to absolutely shatter the world record.

Isaac: Well, go ahead on, old man.

Casey: Is he going to do this?

Dan: Look like he's planning to slow down?

Natalie: Come on, bring it on... (everyone starts shouting encouragement)

Casey: Come on! Move it!

Isaac: Go!

Everyone: (clapping and cheering) Come on! Go!

Casey: (lunges for nearby phone and dials while watching race) Lisa, Lisa! Lisa, it's me. Listen, I need you to do something for me. I'm sorry, I need you to wake up Charlie and give him the phone for a second. (pause) 'Cause I need you to. (puts phone on hold and goes into conference room and picks up phone there) Charlie? I-it's Dad. Did you finish all your homework? Good. Turn on your TV. Turn to my channel. I want you to watch this. This guy's name is Ntozake Nelson. Now, I'll call you tomorrow, I'll tell you all about it, but for now, you just watch him run. He's not doing much, he's just running faster than any man's ever run before. I'm gonna be on the air in about twelve minutes, and if Mom says it's okay, you can watch the beginning of the show. But then I'm gonna give you the special signal and that means you gotta turn off your TV and go to sleep. Yeah, I love you, too, Charlie. (hangs up)

Dana: (in newsroom, whistling for attention) Listen up. They're gonna bounce to us for a 15 second promo at the end of the race. Natalie, get the first team in the studio.

Natalie: Elliot, Kim, let's go.

Elliot: I need graphics!

Natalie: (to girl) We need Casey.

Girl: Okay, got it.

Isaac: (stops her) I'll take care of it. (goes into conference room and stands in doorway) You okay?

Casey: Absolutely.

Isaac: Get to work.

Casey: Absolutely.

Dana: (coming into studio) It's a 15 second teaser, Dan. You need copy?

Dan: (already at desk) Is the opening Lakers-Sonics?

Dana: Lakers-Sonics, Pistons-Heat --

Casey: (coming in) I'll take it.

Dan: You want it?

Casey: It's not that my teasers are better than yours, Danny, it's just that yours are vastly inferior to mine.

Jeremy: (to director in control room) I'm new here, so if I'm in your way, you just let me know. (tries to sit on a chair that was just removed, falls with a thud and gets up) No problem.

Casey: Danny.

Dan: What?

Casey: You were right, I was wrong. It won't happen again.

Director: (off screen) Fifteen seconds!

Casey: You wanna do something tonight after the show?

Dan: Yeah, you know, I was gonna ride the Staten Island ferry for a while, eat a hot dog. You wanna come?

Casey: Yeah, absolutely, and I'll tell you why. 'Cause it's 17 degrees outside with the wind chill, so what I want to do is stand on a boat in the middle of the New York harbor at half past midnight.

Dan: You have a better idea?

Casey: Well, we could go to a bar, find some people we don't like and beat the crap out of them. (they smile and high five each other)

Dan: Head's up.

Director: In 3, 2, 1...

Casey: (on air) I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell. Lakers-Sonics, Pistons-Heat, and guess what? Ntozake Nelson's got something to say about a world record. Seeing is believing...

Dana: (to Natalie) He's back.

Casey: (on air) ...so stick around for Sports Night coming at the top of the hour. You'll be glad you did.

Director: We're out.

Natalie: We're up in 9 minutes.

Casey: Dana, could you come here for a second?

Chris: (to Will) Do you have any idea how to spell "Ntozake"? (Will shakes his head vehemently)

Dana: (meeting Casey at the side of the anchor desk) What do you want?

Casey: I want you to come here.

Dana: What?

Casey: (takes her by her shoulders, then cups her face and gently kisses her cheek) No one can produce this show but you. (pulls her into his arms for a moment)

Dana: (choked up as they part) You... have 9 minutes. Somebody get him a new shirt.

Casey: What's wrong with my shirt?

Dana: You got my mascara on your collar. Natalie.

Natalie: Yeah.

Dana: (walking off) Get somebody on the phone, I want to make sure there aren't going to be any mistakes. I'm nervous about the satellite feed from Buenos Aires.

Natalie: Sure.

Dana: Natalie?

Natalie: Yeah?

Dana: Argentina?

Natalie. Right.

Dana: Natalie! Umm... double check that.

Casey: (to Dan) You know what? Here's something I don't understand about rugby.

Dan: Whoa, whoah, you do understand something about rugby?

Casey: I played rugby, all right? Now I want to ask you a question --

Dan: Whoa, wait, when did you play rugby?

Casey: When I was in college, I played... co-ed rugby. Now just let --

Dan: (laughing) You did not play rugby in college.

Casey: (also laughing) I played rugby. Now I'm asking you a question....

(fade out)