Karen's Guide To
Net Jargon And Computerese

attachment - something you feel for your computer

beta - not as good as best

boot - 1. seasonal foot apparel, 2. kick

reboot - 1. seasonal apparel for other foot, 2. Hey! Stop that!

browser - nickname for senior citizen who sits on park bench

bug - what family does to you when they say you spend too much time on line

cache - obsolete method of paying for goods and services

channel - French perfume

chat room - bathroom where everyone congregates while someone is bathing

cheats - result of visiting too many romantic chat rooms

cookies - Yummy!

copy - copy

crash - when people stay overnight at your place after a party

cut - a boo boo :(

disk space - available seats on a UFO

diskette - female disco dancer

download - what a baby does in a diaper

floppy disk - frisbee that has been caught by dog one too many times

frames - picture holders (What's to hate?)

FTP - the florist

gopher - a small brown animal

hard drive - a good solid hit at a baseball game

hardware - stuff you buy at a hardware store

HTML - warning for hot metal

http - a hot house

internet - where cafeteria workers put their hair

IRC - former acronym of the Internal Revenue Service. It stood for Internal Revenue Coinsuckers.

MB - Milton Bradley

megabyte - what your neighbor's dog will do if he catches you in your neighbor's garden again

Microsoft - hardly soft at all

mirror site - a place to avoid if you need to lose weight

modem - what to do when your grass and weeds get too tall

mouse pad - place Mickey takes Minnie back to

multitask - what mom does every day

off line - what you tell your daughters when you want to use the computer

on line - successful conclusion of above mentioned battle

OS - common misspelling of Wizard's home

paste - that white yucky sticky stuff

RAM - a BIG male sheep

server - family's mass hallucination of mom's function in life

software - stuff you buy from Victoria's Secret

surf - laundry detergent

upload - what fortunately only occasionally comes out of a baby's mouth

URL - a British nobleman

virus - something we share every year

zip file - a place to store nuts