The Field Of Buried Memories
By:Jenn Nistor

Disclaimer: Huh....well you know who they belong to and you know what will happen if I try to publish this and you know everything else so just add it where you feel is necessary.

This is just a really short story, dealing with Mulder's thoughts after TFWID. I promised my self I would never write a post story, all though I do love to read them, so here it is. Go easy on me, I can't write stories shorter than 200K. I'm long winded......oh and this is terrible. If you don't understand it, don't flame me, just ask me what it means. Thanks.

Summery: Takes place directly after "The Field Where I Died", Mulder is still standing in the field and we get to hear what he's thinking after they leave us with the final monologue.

The Field of Buried Memories 1/1
By Jenn Nistor Classification: V (I guess)
(Jenn6092@aol.com or Jenn1013X@aol.com)

***

Is it really my destiny to live life alone? Who out there decides my fate? As I stand here, looking out over the rolling green fields I see nothing but lies. The lies *they* created and the lies that I believed. No longer do I have hope of a future or anything of such a nature, for the only thing that rests in my heart is betrayal.

The betrayal of those I loved and those I believed in. Is it so much to want to believe that the truth is simple and that by striving I could achieve my goal of finding her? My sister or my soul mate.

Life is betrayal. It's a pit of buried memories and a vast field of lies. I once feared the unknown, death, life, and the truth, but now what is there to fear? If I have been given so many chance to perfect my soul, then why bother with this life. I will get another chance to find her, to see her. Sam will be here and I will protect her.

My memories are out here, buried in this field that I now realize is just symbolic. I met my soul mate in this field, but only as an acquaintance. The separation of lovers, of partners and friends surround me, in this field of my buried memories.

Evil. Evil returns as evil. I will face *them* again. Here in my field of buried memories. We will battle and fight over and over again. Some they will win and others I will win. Their deeds will be weighed and cast aside, just as my deeds will show little effect on my next life.

Cancer Man will return again to pursue my good deeds and to scatter his evil deeds throughout the earth. He will take those I love and harm those I need, but he will not win, I will not let him win. He will be buried here, in this field of buried memories.

Love. Love returns as love. Those I have loved will walk beside me again. We will be stronger and braver. The bonds of our love will hold us together forever and *they* will not be able to bury us. And after many years of searching I have only come to realize this fact now, after I fought and penetrated my vast field of buried memories.

Scully, I can't help but smile as I think of her in our next life. Who will she be? What will she be to me and in my life? An acquaintance? A sister? Partner? A lover? Or will she simply be the piece of me that is still missing? What if I just pass by her on the street? Not knowing who she was, or who she was supposed to be. Will that be our fate? How can I be sure that she will be there? I can't. It all lies in the lives we will relive and in some we may just pass by.

Closing my eyes, I let the pictures that she had given me, fall from my fingers and blow across the land, across this field of my buried memories. The pictures were of another time and of another life, not this one.

She is strong. Scully will be with in me forever. She is the part of me that keeps me here, alive, searching in my field of memories. Nothing will change that. Nothing. No one will take it away. She is me and I. . . I am her.

Scully and I walk as one, we are joined by a bond stronger than love. Though, we are not soul mates, in this life? The thought is unclear and very possibly untrue. She is Scully and no other. She is only Scully. My strength. Our fate lies here, in this field, and in the field of my buried memories.

And so as I stand here I wonder if my life will ever be the same. Through all time passed and written futures, I follow the truth and believe that I too, will one day, in one time, reclaim the love that I once knew. Possibly.

Maybe it isn't this woman, Melissa, who I will be destined to love in my next life. It could be someone who has been working her way up to being with me. Maybe this life starts a new cycle of friends and lovers. My relationship with Scully is unclear. Maybe it's just a barrier that will disappear in my next life. We could very possibly be soul mates then.

Yes, I can not deny the fact that it may be her. Scully is a different kind of soul mate, and yes, she is a soul mate. She is my protector. She is Scully, my only step out of this field of buried memories. And in realizing this I can't help but laugh.

This is not the end. I will come back again. I will fight again. I will meet her again, here in this field. It is Scully that I will meet here and bury here. So whether I have missed my chance in this life, do to the common error of believing in something that can change, I do not know. I will wait, but not here. This field may bring life, but it takes too.

Yes. I will come again and it will be here that our paths will cross. Here, here in this field. This field of my buried memories. And until the time comes, I must walk the path of life. I must keep going. For each step leads me one step closer to the truth.

So I leave now, and leave my field of buried memories buried. Untouched.

************
yeah well, I'm in a weird mood so decided I wanted to write a weird story. Ugh.....please send all comments to me at Jenn6092@aol.com or Jenn1013X@aol.com.

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