The Fates Wrath Series I
Peace, Be Still
By: Jenn Nistor

Peace, Be Still 11/16 "Always On My Mind1/2"
By: Jenn Nistor
Jenn6092@aol.com

"Maybe, I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have, maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have. Maybe I didn't hold you all of those lonely, lonely times; maybe I never told that I loved you quit as often as I should have. Little things that I should have said and done, but never took the time. You were always one my mind, you were always on my mind...........Tell me, tell me, tell me, that your sweet love hasn't died. Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied; to keep you satisfied........You were always on my mind, you were always on my mind." ::::ALWAYS ON MY MIND:::: (Mark James/ Wayne Thompson/Johnny Christopher)

************
"Hello Walter." Dana said smiling. "Sorry, I'm late....I ran into an...." she paused. "An old friend"

Skinner gave her a strange look, "An old friend?" he asked. "Do you mind if I ask who?"

Dana shook her head, "I went to pay my respects to Mulder." she replied....."He's an old friend isn't he." She decided to leave out the part about meeting the cancer man. "I just couldn't help but seeing him one last time."

****************
February 23, 1997
Somewhere in Boston
12:32 P.M.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Mulder?" Agent Crawford asked. "She hasn't been doing well."

Mulder nodded, "She always on my mind.....I have to see if she still loves me. I can't forget about her." he smiled. "I'd give my last breath to her if I thought that it would change things between us. If it's only for five minutes, I have to see her..."

Crawford nodded, "I hope that she thinks that this is a good birthday present." he laughed. "It has to be better than the one my wife and I gave her......I don't think she liked the dog very much."

"When you said that she wasn't doing well, what did you mean?" Mulder was almost afraid to ask. he feared that Dana was sick or even worse, dying. He'd heard rumors that she had shot and had to take a leave from the FBI, but he didn't believe them. He didn't want to believe them.

"Oh, she's fine." Crawford said seeing Mulder's face fill with concern. "I just meant with the recent loss of her partner and the bullet that she took, she hasn't been herself."

"I had heard that she was shot, but I didn't believe it....I guess I blocked it out." he sighed. "How bad was it?"

Crawford shrugged, "It wasn't to bad...., it was in the shoulder. It was before Christmas Mulder." he assured him. "You don't have to worry about it now, she's a lot better."

Mulder let out the breath that he had been holding. "That's good.....I think I'll head on over to her apartment."

"All right....." Crawford agreed. "I'll call you later to see how things went. If you do anything to mess up her work, I'll get you."

Mulder laughed, "Yeah, I'm scared." he grabbed his keys off the board and jumped into his rental car..."How about I call you!" he yelled. "I wouldn't want you to interrupt."

***************
12:41 P.M.

Tears stung Dana's eyes as she opened the present her mother had sent her. It was a picture of her mother and Mulder at Christmas. They had celebrated it without her. Her mother had told her that Mulder stopped by to wish her a Merry Christmas and one thing led to another and before she knew it, Mulder was having dinner with her and Dana's brothers. She felt a pang of jealousy, they had obviously enjoyed Mulder's company.

Gripping the picture to her chest she sat down on the couch and cried. Nothing was going right for her. First it was her partner's assassination and her being shot, then it was her younger brothers wedding that she hadn't been invited too, and then it was the picture of her mother and Mulder.

'Dana your terrible.' she thought. 'After all you should be happy for your brother and happy for Mulder. He never had a family like you did.' Dana shook her head, "No." she whispered. "How can I bee happy when my family enjoys the company of a stranger more than me."

She was about to through the picture against the wall, when she heard a knock at the door. "Just a second!" she called trying to straighten up her appearance. She knew she looked terrible, but she didn't care. Dana pulled open the door and gasped with shock. "Mulder?" she choked.

He nodded and stepped in, "Do you mind that I'm here?" he asked.

Dana shook her head and turned away, "Not at all, make yourself at home."

He nodded and sat down on the couch. The picture caught his eye, "Your brother's are great." he said. "I enjoyed meeting them."

Dana nodded, still not looking at him. "I guess..." she whispered. "I mean Charles got married and he didn't even bother to invite me to his wedding."

Mulder looked at her, for the first time noticing how swollen her eyes were, "What's wrong?" he asked softly. "You look like you've been crying."

"I'm fine." she said smiling. "I just didn't sleep well last night." she took the picture from him and stuck it in a drawer across the room.

Mulder watched her silently. There was definitely something wrong, he could tell by the way she was walking. It looked as though every step she took was full of pain and discomfort. "Are you sure your all right?" he asked this time with more concern. "I could go.. if your not feel good." he stood up and headed towards the door, but something stopped him. Dana hadn't moved, she was still staring down at the picture of him and her mother. "Dana?" he asked moving up behind her. "What's wrong?"

She faced him not bothering to hide her tears, "My family doesn't even love me anymore." she cried throwing herself into his arms. "They love you more than they love me."

Mulder held her, rocking her gently. "No..," he whispered. "No, they love you very much....I promise." he gently kissed the top of her head. He took in the sweet smell of the shampoo she used. 'God, How I've missed that.' he thought to himself.

Dana pulled away and looked up into his beautiful green eyes. 'God, his eyes.' she thought. 'How could I ever forget his eyes?' "Why are you here?" she asked moving away from him.

"I wanted to see you." he whispered pulling her back to him. "I can't stop thinking about you...Your always on my mind." he reached down to kiss her lightly on the forehead. "Tell me to leave, tell me that you don't love me and I'll be out of your life forever."

Dana turned away. "Mulder..." she began but he silenced her with a kiss. She didn't respond at first, but after a moment of yearning, her lips parted slightly, letting him drink her in. She couldn't believe that this was happening.....one minute she was crying for him and the next she was back in his arms. "I love you." she whispered in-between kisses. "I do." Her tears began to flow more freely now as she let the past months of pain drain away.

Mulder's lips gently moved up to her cheeks, kissing away her tears. "Don't cry, Dana." he pleaded. "Please don't cry."

She couldn't control herself anymore, she collapsed in his arms. Sobs raked through her body. "Don't leave me." she cryed. "I can't stand being with out you. I can't." she slid to the ground.

Mulder kneeled in front of her and hugged her tightly. "I'm not going anywhere." he whispered. "I promise that I won't leave." he leaned into her and pressed his lips to hers. His hands went up behind her neck and tangled in her hair. His hands went to the top of her blouse, but Dana stopped him.

"No." she whispered. Her hands covered his. "Please..., not now." she stood up. "You can't just come into my life and expect me to give into you like this. I want to , I really do..., but I can't."

Mulder nodded, "I guess that I'm asking too much. I should probably go before we make a mistake that we'll both regret." he stood up and grabbed his coat.

"Mulder!" Dana screamed. "Why do you keep doing this to me?!" a knew wave of tears streamed down her cheeks. "Why do you feel like you can keep doing this to me?"

Her words were like a slap in the face. There was only one thing he could think of doing. He stepped forward and kissed her. He forced her mouth open hungrily, his tongue entwining with hers.

Dana thrashed at him, but after a moment she gave into his kisses. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing but them, together. "Mull...der." she whispered. "Mul........" he forced her backwards onto the couch.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked pulling away slightly. "We can, if you want to...."

Dana shook her head, "No....I don't want to stop." she whispered then pulled him to her again.

****************
9:30 P.M.

Dana opened her eyes slowly, to find Mulder watching her. "Am I that interesting?" she asked grinning.

Mulder nodded, "Yeah, I was just trying to memorized every inch of your face." he kissed her softly. he was also staring at the scare on her left shoulder. "We need to talk about this." he said slowly. "I don't know what to do."

Dana nodded in agreement. "I don't want to lose you again." she whispered. "If I have to go through all of that pain again I'll die."

"I doubt that." Mulder said laughing. "But I don't doubt that you'll feel like it."

"I feel like we just made a mistake." she admitted. "I love you, but there's something that feels wrong. Do you feel it?"

Mulder nodded, "Yeah, I've felt it for a long time. I feel like something will eventually separate us permanently. I don't want that....I don't want to be separated from you." he pulled her close. "What if we're just not meant to be together?"

"People fall in love all the time Mulder." Dana said thoughtfully. "But sometimes no matter how much they love one another, they can't be together. Things keep them apart, whether it be a family that they can't leave or a job that they can't quit.....or even fear of commitment."

"Yeah, they spend every moment they can with one another, but then they become separated." he shook his head. "I don't want that Scully. I want us to be together always."

"I want that too." Dana admitted "But what if it's not meant to be?" she pulled the sheet up around her as she sat up. "I'm going to get something to eat. We can talk about this over dinner." she headed towards the kitchen.

Mulder watched her for a minute then decided that he better help. She looked so small and fragile compared to the last time he'd seen her, and even then she looked pretty bad. "Scully?" he asked. "How are you really?"

She turned to look at him, "I'm fine, Mulder. Just a little bit tired." she gave him a reassuring smile. "What would you like for dinner?"

"Dana..." he whispered. "Let me make dinner, you go get some rest." he gently pulled her out of the kitchen and back into her room. "Sleep....I'll wake you when dinners ready."

"All right." Dana agreed and allowed him to tuck her in beneath the covers. She drifted off into a restless sleep. Her dreams were once again haunted with the ghostly image of her sister.

"Missy!" she called out softly. She reached out to her sister but Melissa turned away.

"Do you even see what your doing!" Melissa shouted. "Do you even know what you've just done?!"

"No." Dana replied weakly. "I thought I was doing what you wanted me to do."

Melissa laughed, "You haven't done a thing I said to do!" she shouted. "Fox will leave you now, he will leave you and leave you alone. You've blown your chance Dana.....you've blown everything you've worked for......including the one thing that you happened to love more than life itself."

Dana shook her head, "Missy!" she cryed. "Mulder and I know what we're doing...... so maybe we won't end up together, but that doesn't mean that we love each other any less."

"You don't under stand Dana." Melissa whispered. "You don't seem to understand that you messed up that night when Mulder had fallen into the creek. He told you how he felt, but you denied your feelings.....and that is what caused all of this. If you had just gone along with your heart and not your logic, Mulder would still be who he was and not the man you see before you." She motioned to something and a bright stream of light appeared.

Inside the light was Mulder, sitting on her couch, holding his head. Dana could see that he was crying, but didn't under stand why. "Why is he crying." she asked her sister.

"He's crying for you." Melissa replied. "He's crying for the love that you two share so tragically."

Dana suspected the slightest bit of emotion to her sisters words. "Miss......what's going to happen to us.?"

For the first time, Melissa faced her sister. "You will see, Dana. I cannot help you, although I can warn you."

"Warn me?" Dana asked unsure of what to say. "Warn me against what?"

"Just be careful." Melissa whispered. "Be careful."

With those final words she disappeared and darkness took her place. Dana looked around trying to find away out, but there wasn't one. "Mulder." she called frantically. "It's so dark....Mulder help me!" She felt strong arms close around her.

"Shhh..." someone was holding her.

"Mulder." she mumbled against his chest. "What are we going got do? I keep dreaming of...." he words were drowned out by the howling of the wind outside of her room.

"Happy birthday." Mulder whispered deciding to change the subject. "And for your birth day I will give you wish."

Dana pulled away and looked it to his eyes. "I wish that you would go." she whispered.

******************

Peace, Be Still 12/16 "Always On My Mind 2/2"

"All the days and nights I search, on the mountains and streams I cry, down in the deep reaches of hell and to the peaks of heaven I wonder. And even then your always on my mind." 'Joan Vasques'

**************
"Happy birthday." Mulder whispered deciding to change the subject. "And for your birth day I will give you wish."

Dana pulled away and looked it to his eyes. "I wish that you would go." she whispered. It hurt her to say those words, but she meant them, she meant them. "Please, please go." she made brief eye contact before turning away.

Mulder grabbed her arm and forced her too look into his eyes. "Fine." he whispered. "But only because I love you and respect your wishes." he stood up and turned to leave. "But, I won't stop loving you. I can't stop loving you."

"I...I...." Dana couldn't speak. She knew that if she spoke she would regret the words. Was she really doing the right thing? "I don't really want you to go." she said finally. "I'm just scared that we'll be making a mistake."

Mulder nodded. He understood her fears, but he didn't understand her wishes. "How many times do we have to go over this?" he asked sitting back down. "Can't we just spend the time we have together now, and worry about the future later? We may only have now, and I don't to waist it."

"What if.....?" Dana began. "What if...we can't leave each other? Then what are we going to do?"

"Stay." Mulder replied. "But let's not think about it now.....let's just think about us, together at this moment." he leaned reached out to touch her face. "What do you say?"

Dana smiled. "I say that we," she looked at her clock...."When are you leaving?"

"Two days." he replied sadly.

Dana smiled, "I suggest that we spend every waking minute together....and then when you leave, we'll leave it at that." she moved into his arms and allowed him to hold her. "OK?"

Mulder only nodded. There embrace lasted throughout the night......they only separated once, and even then they were still holding hands. Dana couldn't imagine her life with out Mulder, he was her life. Her mind kept drifting back to the conversation she had with her sister. Was she doing something wrong? There was know real way of knowing....all she knew was that Mulder was constantly on her mind.

***************
4:30 A.M.
February 24, 1997

Mulder sat up with a start. Something was wrong, he could feel it. Glancing over at Dana he sighed..... she was curled up in a chair underneath the window. He quietly got out of bed and kneeled in front of her.

"Dana." he whispered. "Come back to bed." he gently eased her up and placed her on the bed. She looked so peaceful and he knew that she needed her sleep, so he did not disturb her, instead he pulled the blankets over her, grabbed a pillow and headed out to her couch.'She's not used to waking up with someone in her bed.' he thought. 'No reason to scare her, she might end up kicking you out on your butt.'
Mulder grabbed the remote control off the coffee table and plopped down on the couch. There wasn't much on, a couple of old TV shows, a Lifetime original movie, and the twenty-four hour news. Deciding on the Lifetime movie, he settled back and closed his eyes. He couldn't help but think about what had happened between him and Scully, there were so many unspoken words between them. He could almost still taste her lips against his, he could still feel his skin against hers.

"God, Scully." he whispered. "What have I done?"

"Nothing." Dana said walking up to him.

He hadn't noticed Dana's presence until she was sitting next to him. "How long have you been watching me?" he asked.

Dana shrugged, "I don't know...., ten minute." she smiled. "Sorry about last night." she whispered. "When I woke up and found your arms around me, reality struck. I guess that I don't want just a couple of weekends ever year, I want it all."Mulder nodded and looked down a his hands. "I......can't give you.....it all." he faced her with watery eyes. "I think that it was a mistake that I came here...we can stay friends, but I think that we should leave it at that."

"Is that what you really want?" Dana asked sadly.

"Yes." Mulder replied. It took all the strength he had to utter that one little word, "Yes that's what I want."

Dana nodded and stood up, "All right." she smiled. "Do you know how many times we've talked about this tonight.?" she asked. "You'd think that we didn't know how to make up our minds."

"Do you want me to go?" he asked.

Dana shook her head, "Your a friend, you can stay on the couch. That is if you want to."

Mulder nodded, "I didn't make any hotel arrangements....but if this is awkward for you, I'll go......"

"I don't want you to go." she replied. "We're both grown-ups I think that we can handle this."

****************
5:35 P.M.
February 25, 1997

"So...." Dana said plopping down next to Mulder on the sofa. "This is your last night here, what do you want to do."

Mulder glanced up. "Huh...? What'd you say Scully." he gave her a sheepish smile.

Dana laughed. "I asked what you wanted to do tonight?" she handed him the paper. "We could go see a movie...how 'bout it?"

Mulder shook his head, "No.....I'm tired." he stood up. "You go on ahead."

"Mulder!" she cryed with frustration. "The whole point of *us* going to the movies was so that we could be together on your last night. I may not see you for a while and I'd like to spend sometime together."

"I don't want to Scully....but please." he motioned to the door. "Don't let me stop you from having a good time."

"Fine." Dana muttered and stood up. "Have a nice night Fox Mulder." she grabbed her coat and purse, then left her apartment.

Mulder sighed as she slammed the door. The truth was that he didn't want to be with her. He was so tempted to hold her and break the promise he had made to himself. 'Your not going to help yourself much by pushing away your best friend.' he thought to himself. Now that they were no longer physically involved her could think of her as his best friend again. He hadn't been able to do that in a long time and he liked it.

Plus, on top of all his other problems he was facing another reassignment within the FBI. Skinner had called earlier that morning to tell him that he would be moved back to DC. He would not be working on the X-files but on the Violent Crime division and it didn't appeal to him.

Just as he was about to spread out on the couch the phone rang. "Hello?" he said picking it up.

"Fox?" a voice said. "Is Dana there."

"Mrs. Scully?" Mulder asked unsure of who the woman was. "No Dana isn't here right now, she went out."

"All right Fox......" Mrs. Scully said. "Just tell her I called OK."

Mulder nodded even though he could not see her. "All right." he agreed. "I'll have her call you when she gets back."

"Thanks." Mrs. Scully said then hung up.

Mulder looked down at the phone he held in his hand. 'That was a quick conversation.' he thought. 'There must be something wrong.'

He quickly picked the phone back up and dialed Dana's cellular number. Somewhere, he wasn't sure where, he heard a phone ringing. "Damn!" he muttered. She didn't take her phone with her. He got up and grabbed his coat. 'You wanted me to see a movie Dana.' he thought. 'Well guess what, I'm coming.'

****************
Bradley Theater
6:10 PM

"Hey watch it!" Dana cryed as a man nearly knocked over her drink.

The man looked down and laughed. "I've been in every theater trying to find you." the man said.

Dana looked up and smiled, "What made you change your mind, Agent Mulder?" she asked. "I hope you didn't get to lonely sitting gin my apartment all by yourself."

Mulder shook his head and his expression suddenly changed, "Listen." he said grabbing her jacket off the chair. "Your mom called and she sounded really anxious to talk to you. I think something was wrong."

Dana jumped up, "I'll go call her. Save our seats." she said then disappeared around the corner. She pulled her calling card out of her purse and quickly punched in the code then her mothers number. After three rings her mother picked up.

"Hello?" she said breathlessly.

Dana gasped, "Mom is everything all right?" she asked. "Mulder said you sounded upset."

Margaret laughed. "I'm fine dear." she said. "I was just wondering if you had gotten my present I sent you for your birthday. I guess I forgot to call you on your birthday and I felt bad." she paused. "I'm sorry honey."

Dana sighed remembering how her mother hadn't called. "It's all right, I got your picture." she replied. "Mulder was here and I guess that it slipped my mind."

"How is Fox?" Margaret asked.

Dana shrugged, "Fine I guess." she answered. "I'll call you when I get home, OK, mom?"

"All right." Margaret agreed. "I'll talk to you later."

Once Dana was done talking with her mother, she made her way through a large crowd of people and back to her seat. Mulder was busy picking little dog hairs off her black cashmere coat. "Mulder, I think you over reacted." she said sitting back down. "She just wanted to wish me a later happy birthday."

Mulder smiled, "I guess that I wanted to come to the movies after all and that the phone call was just an excuse." he handed her jacket. "What kind of dog did Crawford give you?" he asked. "I haven't seen it."

Dana laughed. "Agent Newman has her, it's a sweet little Pug."

Mulder nodded, "I guess that might explain the short hairs I keep finding everywhere." he took her hand. "Let's go somewhere else. I need to talk to you a minute."

"Sure." Dana said nodding. "Let's go back to my apartment."

They made there way back to there cars and drove back to her apartment. Inside Mulder motioned for her to sit down. "I have something I need to tell you." he mumbled.

"What?" Dana asked curiously.

Mulder sighed and kneeled in front of her. "I'm being reassigned to the DC violent crime division." he told her. "I know that this is what I've been working on with the New York City bureau, but Skinner want's me to handle a lot of the serial cases." he paused. "I'm not sure that I can handle that."

Dana eyes him closely. She wasn't sure if she'd ever before seen him so scared. He had a wild look in his eyes, one in which she determined was dangerous. "Mulder." she whispered. "Why do I get the feeling that your scared?"

"Because," he replied. "I am scared, Scully. I don't know why I'm so scared,. but I am....I know that I shouldn't be but I am and it scares me." he shook his head. "What's wrong with me?"

Dana tilted his chin upwards so that she could look into his eyes. "I don't know.....maybe your not ready to go back to DC......I mean it's been a while and a lot happened there." she smiled. "I'll always be here if you need to talk...or....." she paused. "Or if you ever need my help."

Mulder smiled and gently leaned up to kiss her. "That was for being such a great friend." he whispered. "Go change into something nicer. I'm taking you out to dinner."

Dana nodded and disappeared into her bedroom. Once she was sure that Mulder couldn't hear her she cryed. He didn't understand how much she wanted that kiss to go on. She couldn't help but worry about him. If he was that scared to work back in DC, then he may do something careless. Fear had a way to make people do crazy things.

Pushing aside her thoughts and feelings, she quickly changed into a black spaghetti strap dress and a pair of back pumps, maybe a night on the town was just what they needed.
**************
7:25 P.M.

Mulder glanced at his watch impatiently. "Scully!" he called. "Hurry up. I got reservations for 8:00 and it takes a half an hour to get there."

Dana quickly joined him in the other room. "Sorry." she mumbled. "I couldn't find my other shoe." she lied hoping that he wouldn't see the puffiness under her eyes.

Mulder handed her her jacket and escorted her out of the apartment. "You always new how to cheer me up." he whispered softly. "Thanks."

Dana flashed him a quick smile, "You'll do OK." she assured him. "And if it's to much for you or you just feel like it's to much pressure, just ask for a transfer. Skinner will understand......he can't say no."
*****************
March 14, 2000
Skinners Office

Dana shook her head, "I went to pay my respects to Mulder." she replied....."He's an old friend isn't he." She decided to leave out the part about meeting the cancer man. "I just couldn't help but seeing him one last time."

"I'm no sure that I want to work on the X-Files." Dana said slowly. "I mean it want my thing to begin with. It was Mulder's." she shook her head. "Can I ask you something?"

Skinner nodded, "Sure, what?"

"Why didn't you give Mulder a transfer.....you knew that he couldn't handle it. You knew it, and yet you drove him so his death......Why?"

Peace, Be Still 13/16 "Fear"

"So I say to you my friend, Fear not the man who burdens you and fear not the man who tramples your road. Fear only fear it's self and you who possess it." (I have know idea who said this, I just remember it from school.)

***********
"I'm no sure that I want to work on the X-Files." Dana said slowly. "I mean it want my thing to begin with. It was Mulder's." she shook her head. "Can I ask you something?"

Skinner nodded, "Sure, what?"

"Why didn't you give Mulder a transfer.....you knew that he couldn't handle it. You knew it, and yet you drove him so his death......Why?"

Skinner glanced down, "I couldn't Dana....I couldn't."

***********
March 27, 1997
J. Edgar Hoover Building
Washington DC
9:11 A.M.

"Sir, can I talk to you a minute." Mulder asked sticking his head into Assistant Director Walter Skinner's office.

Skinner looked up and nodded, "Yes of course." he replied. "What can I do for you agent Mulder?"

Mulder sat down across from the older man and sighed. "Sir." he began. "I want to ask for a transfer out of the violent Crime division." he shook his head. "I can't deal with it anymore."

"Agent Mulder!" Skinner cryed angrily. "You have only been working with that division for a little over a month, do you think that I'm going to transfer you now? After that short of time?" he shook his head. "I don't think so."

Mulder felt as though he was about to cry, "Please sir. I'll work anywhere in the country, but please let me be transferred." He could feel his stomach churning. A sudden wave of nausea took over him and he had to grip the chair to keep from throwing up.

Skinner shook his head, "I'm sorry agent Mulder....but I'm afraid that your going to have to deal with it." he pointed to the door. "Now leave....I have a lot of work to do."

With out another word, Mulder ran out of Skinner's office and to the bathroom. He locked himself in one of the stalls and cryed. 'What's wrong with me?' he thought. Suddenly another wave of nausea came over him and instead of fighting it he gave in and threw up.

************
March 27, 1997
10:15 A.M.
Boston FBI Headquarters

"Agent Scully." Crawford said poking his head into her office. "Agent Mulder's on line two...he sounds really upset."

Dana nodded and picked up. "Mulder, what's wrong?" she asked. She could hear Mulder sobbing in the background. "Mulder!" she said again, this time screaming his name. "Mulder....answer me."

Mulder choked back a sob. "Scully, you have to come here." he cryed. "God, Scully he won't transfer me and I feel so..." he put the phone away from his mouth.

Scully could hear him coughing in the background. "Mulder!" she cryed suddenly very concerned. "I'll be on the next flight out...stay where you are." she hung up and glanced at Crawford who was also very concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Skinner won't transfer him and he can't take it anymore.....I'm taking my vacation." she said and ran out of her office before Crawford could even protest to her leaving.

Dana knew that she was right in the middle of an investigation, but Mulder meant more to her than anything. She had heard him being sick and didn't understand why Skinner wouldn't transfer him. Couldn't he see what Mulder was happening to Mulder?

***************
12:30 PM
Washington DC
J. Edgar Hoover Building

Mulder hadn't moved since he called Scully, he was still curled up in the corner of one of the bathroom stalls. His head was throbbing and he was so tired, he just wanted to sleep all he wanted to do was sleep. He was just about to drift off to sleep when he heard the bathroom door open.

Mulder?" someone called. "Mulder it's Dana."

"Here, Scully." he choked.

Dana pushed open the stall door and kneeled next to him. "Come on. I'm taking you home." she whispered. "You look terrible."

Mulder tried to smile, but he couldn't. "I can't walk." he mumbled.

Dana shook her head. "Yes you can." she said. "Lean on me." she wrapped one arm tightly around his waist and the other used to take his hand. "Let's go."

Mulder gratefully excepted her help and managed to make it to the car without falling down or being sick. "Thanks." he whispered. "Skinner will probably have my head for leaving.."

"Screw Skinner!" she yelled angrily. "He obviously has know feeling." she turned onto the rode that led to Mulder apartment. "Would you like to tell me what's going on?" she asked glancing at him out off the corner of her eye. "You scared me to death."

Mulder smiled, "Too much pressure." he said. "I can't take it anymore.." he motioned to a turn of to the right. "There." he said, "Turn there, it's quicker."

Dana nodded and did as he said, "When we get to your place I want you to tell me everything that's going on....and I want to examine you."

"Fine." Mulder said and drifted of to sleep.

Not more than ten minutes later Dana pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building. "Mulder." she said and gently shook his shoulder. "We're here."

He opened his eye's and nodded, "Will you help me?" he asked.

Dana couldn't help but worry about him. He never needed her help and when she offered he always refused, but now it was he who was asking for help. "Of course." she said helping him out of the car. "Your starting to worry me."

Dana helped him into his apartment and to his room where he raced for the bathroom. Dana followed and held his head until he finished. "You have a fever." she whispered. "Go get into bed, I'm going to get a thermometer."

Mulder nodded and slid into his bed. "Thanks for coming." he whispered. "You sure came along way for a house call."

Dana laughed and sat down next to him. "Would you care to tell me what's been going on with you?" she asked. "I don't hear from you in a month and then out of the blue you call me and you can hardly walk. What's up?"

He took a deep breath. "There was this case I was working on....." he closed his eyes as he remembered. "There all of these little girls,, they had been raped then the killer had cut of there heads and......" he shuttered. "God it was terrible."

"When was the last time you slept?" she asked. "Because you need some sleep and if you refuse I'll go get some sleeping pills and I'll make you sleep." she reached down and hugged him gently. "If it make you feel better I'll stay here until you fall asleep."

He shook his head. "Lay with me." he whispered. Dana began to protest but he pulled her down next to him. "Please." he said. "We may not have much time left."

Dana looked at him in shock. "What are you talking about?" she asked. "We have all the time in the world."

"Maybe." Mulder said then wrapped his arms around her and drifted off to a restless sleep.

"Sleep...." she whispered. "Sleep well." she rolled over to face him. Her temptation to kiss him was too much....it took all the strength she possessed not to cross the line on their friendship. "I love you Mulder." she murmured softly. 'God, please protect him.' she prayed silently to herself.

Dana watched as Mulder's eyelids moved back and forth. She knew that he was dreaming, she only hoped that it was a good dream and not something that would make him sick.

Deciding that she had to call Skinner, she slipped out of Mulder's arms and made her way to the kitchen. She quickly dialed Skinner's number and waited for his secretary to answer.

"Assistant Director Skinners office." his secretary said picking up.

"Hi, this is Agent Dana Scully." she said. "May I please speak to Director Skinner?"

"Once moment please." the secretary said and put Dana on hold. A couple of minutes later Skinner picked up. "Skinner." he said. "What can I do for you agent Scully."

His tone was gruff and irritable but Dana ignored it and said. "Sir, Mulder is very sick....I'm here at his apartment and I'm afraid that he won't be in for a couple of days."

Skinner grunted, "Do you really expect me to believe that Agent Scully?" he asked. "If this is just an excuse for you two to play around you can forget it."

"Sir, " Dana said calmly. "Earlier today, Agent Mulder called me. He was hysterical and sick. I was very concerned and caught the first flight out here." she paused. "Sir I recommend that you reassign him immediately. He is very sick and can't take it anymore."

Skinner laughed, "Agent Scully, he worked six years with the X-Files, I think that he can take the normal routine homicides."

"Listen." Dana yelled angrily. "I you don't believe that he's sick I suggest that you come over here and see for yourself. I happen to be a doctor and I know what is causing this. It's the stress and fear that he's having to deal with. You can't expect anyone to work when they are fearing for there life."

"I cannot break the laws agent Scully." Skinner said. "He must spend more time than a month in that position to be transferred. Unfortunately the laws are immutable. Is there anything else?"

"Yes." Dana replied. "If you see that an agent can't handle his or her position, wouldn't you want to move that agent before he or she endangers someone else's life?"

Skinner did not reply, instead he said. "This conversation has ended." then hung up.

***************
7:30 PM

Mulder opened his eyes and screamed. Scully was gone. "Scully!" he screamed. "Scully!"

Dana rushed into his room. "Shhh." she whispered. "I'm here. You don't have to worry about anything...I'll make it all go away." she felt like a mother babying a child who had just had a bad dream.

Mulder clutched at her arms and cryed. "I love you Dana." he whispered. "Always remember that." he buried his head in her breasts. "Never forget that I love you." he said drifting back off to sleep.

Dana rocked him ever so gently as he slept. 'What am I going to do?' she thought. 'There is no way I can leave him like this.' She closed her eyes and rested her chin on the top of his head. "I love you too." she whispered and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Melissa.

"Your to late." Melissa said approaching her sister.

Dana glanced up, "I am?" she asked.

Melissa nodded, "You might as well leave, you don't want to see him die. It'll only hurt you more than you should be hurt."

"You want me to leave him like this?" Dana cryed. "You must be crazy. I'd never leave him when he's so sick."

Melissa shrugged. "Suit yourself." she said. "But I must warn you, you'll only be quickening his death if you stay." she sighed heavily. "I know you love him Dana, but it's so hard to get through to you. You've ignored everything I've told you to do and now, now he's dying."

"So it my fault!" Dana cryed out painfully. "He's dying because of me?"

Melissa shook her head, "No I was never implying that it was your fault. You must never think that!" she cryed. "Promise me that you'll never think that this was your fault."

Dana nodded, "I promise." she whispered and Melissa disappeared.

Dana opened her eyes and sat up. Mulder was curled up next to her like a little baby. 'God, I can't do this.' she thought. 'I can't just leave him....I'd be just like Samantha.' Shaking her head she got up and picked up her bag. "I'm sorry Mulder." she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Not bothering with a note, she left. She left, not truly believing that that would be the last time she'd be with him.

***************
9:30 P.M.

Mulder awoke to find Scully truly gone. "Scully!" he called wandering out into the living room. "Dana?" she was no where. "Dana?" he called one last time before he fell to his knees in a heap of tears.

Peace, Be Still 14/16 "Peace"

"There is a quiet place right in the midst of a storm, there I can find peaceful rest
and shelter from all harm. O how that waves do thrash about, throwing me to and
fro; but I hear you speaking, 'Peace, be still.' and the turbulence must go.........."

**************
April 7, 1997
10:15 A.M.
A Plane Somewhere

Dana and agent Crawford sat side beside on the plane flying to DC. She and Crawford had been busy going over a case when the phone call came in. Dana couldn't say that she hadn't been expecting it, but she wasn't prepared.

The call had come in from Skinner. "Mulder was in a warehouse and the man he had been trailing shot him." Skinner had said. "It doesn't look good."

The next thing she knew, she and her partner Agent Crawford were at the airport.

"You all right?" Crawford asked. "I'm sure Mulder will be OK."

Dana nodded and stared out the window. The guilt she felt for leaving Mulder was starting to take effect. "He doesn't understand why I left." she whispered. "God, what have I done." Tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.

Crawford sighed and wrapped an arm gently around her shoulders. "He understands, I'm sure he does."

Dana shook her head and pulled away. "Excuse me." she choked and headed for the bathroom. She locked herself into the small room and cryed. She cryed for all of the pain she'd caused Mulder and all of the pain she'd caused herself. "Please, don't let him die." she prayed. "I'll do anything to have him live."

***************
J.F.K Memorial Hospital
11:35 A.M.
Washington DC

Dana rushed down the long corridor leading the Intensive Care Units. "Mom!" She cryed. Seeing her mother hunched over in a chair outside the glass windows. "Mom how is he."

Her mother looked up with sad eyes, "He's not responding very well, Dana." she took a deep breath and motioned to a doctor, "They won't tell me anything."

"I'll see what I can do." Dana said leaving her mother. She walked over to a near by doctor. "I'm Special Agent Dana Scully, with the FBI." she said introducing herself. "Are you the doctor in charge of Agent Mulder."

The doctor nodded, "I'm Dr. Steven." he replied. "I'm afraid his chance of survival is very slim.."

Dana shook her head. "Do you mind if I examine him?" she asked. "I am a doctor."

Dr. Steven shook his head. "No, I'll show you where you can change." he said leading her down a small hall opposite the IC Units.

Once she was finished changing, Dr. Steven led her to Mulder's room. "Agent Mulder was brought in around 8:00 A.M.." he began. "He had two gunshot wounds to the upper chest and one to the lower abdomen. One of the two bullets in his chest grazed the left ventricle and the other hit his Mitral Valve." he sighed. "We were able to stop the bleeding, but there was a lot of damage."

Dana nodded and gently lifted the hospital gown that Mulder wore off of his chest and let it reveal white bandages. "Mulder." she whispered. "Mulder I'm here."

Dr. Steven watched her curiously. He knew that she loved the man that laid before her. 'You would have to be blind not to see it.' he thought sadly. He wondered what had happened between them to cause them so much pain. "Ummm......I have some rounds I need to make." he said deciding that it would be best to leave her alone with Agent Mulder. "If there is anything you need....please." he backed away. "Don't hesitate to call."

Dana smiled. "Thank you." she said and turned back to Mulder. "Mulder, I'm so sorry." she could feel tears rising in her throat. "Please open your eyes and look at me."

The only sound in the room was the sound of Mulder's heart monitor and the soft sound of rain hitting the window outside.

"He will always love you." a voice said from behind.

Dana turned around to find Deep Throat standing there. "You..." she whispered. "You tried to warn me that this was going to happen and I didn't listen." she shook her head. "I didn't listen to you or my sister and now....." he voice was drowned out my a large rumble of thunder.

"It wasn't your fault...." he assured her. "You must never blame yourself."

Dana nodded and turned away. "Will he live?" she asked.

Deep Throat did not reply instead he stood staring at the rain. "I have to go...my time is up." he whispered and disappeared.

Dana turned to watch him leave, but he was already gone. 'I must be imagining these visits.' she thought. 'Either that or I'm insane.' She watched Mulder's lifeless form.

She gently kissed him on the forehead and headed back out to the waiting room.. "Mom." she said softly. "Do you want to see him?"

Margaret Scully stood up and nodded. "Yes, How is he?"

Dana shrugged. "I don't know. I don't really want to know....I guess." she led her mother back to the small unit that held Mulder. He really didn't look like himself...... he was wrapped in tubes and wires.

"Oh Dana!" he mother cryed. "He looks terrible."

"Yeah.." Dana agreed and sat down in the chair next to his bed. "I left him mom." she said shaking her head. "He was so sick and Melissa told me that it was the only way that I'd be able to live with myself."

"You see Melissa in your dreams?" Margaret asked.

Dana nodded. "She was mad. She told me that I had to leave or I'd suffer more of a loss." she buried her head in her hands. "I just left hi, I didn't call or even leave a note, I just left."

Margaret wrapped her arms around her daughter. "Fox knows that you love him." she sighed. "I need to get something to drink.....call me if he wakes up." she said then left, leaving Her and Mulder alone once again.

Dana took on of his hands in hers and closed her eyes. She tried to picture her life with Mulder but couldn't. All she could see was unbearable loneliness and a life of pain. "Mulder." she whispered. "Please don't leave me....not now...not with out you knowing why I left."

"I know why you left." Mulder whispered opening his eyes. you don't need to....to explain." he winced.

Dana nearly through herself on top of him, "Mulder!" she cryed. "My God...Your awake." she wiped away her tears and put on a bright face. "Let me got my mom and the do....." she stopped when she saw the look of fear in Mulder eyes. "What is it?" she asked.

Mulder tried to smile, but the effort tired him, "Don't leave me yet." he whispered. "We need to talk."

Dana nodded and sat down. "What about?" she asked.

Mulder pushed away all of his pain and focused on her tear stained face. "I need you to be strong after I die." he began. Dana began to protest but her silenced her. "Hear me out." he said.

Dana nodded, "Fine. Continue."

"Don't stop searching for the truth." he winced again and took a jagged breath. "I love you and I know that you've fallen out of love with me, but please, don't......" he struggled to breath. "Don't forget me. Even after I die I won't be gone. Not real--ly"

Dana could fell tears running down her cheeks. 'Was that what he thought?' she wondered. 'That I left because I didn't love him anymore.'

"Mulder!" she cryed. "I could never forget you." she paused, "Your the only man I've ever loved. You have the strength and courage of a million men.....and I'll never meet another man like you. Never." she knew she was shouting, but she was angry. He thought that she didn't love him anymore and it hurt.

Mulder closed his eyes. 'Why am I so tired?' he wondered. "Scully...I never doubted that you loved me once...but....." he couldn't bring himself to say it. "But you left me...... you left me......me when I needed you the most." Mulder clutched his chest. The pain was unbearable. "God, Scully." he cryed. "It hurts so much."

Dana couldn't take it anymore, she turned her back to him. "I know it hurts Mulder." she sighed heavily. "But I can't make it go away.....I can't." her heart was breaking. Why was it so hard to cope.

"I'm not asking you too, - -" Mulder said after a minute of eerie silence. "But I'm afraid that I can't trust you again either."

Dana faced him again, for the first time revealing all of the pain she held in her eyes. "Damn you Mulder!" she screamed. "I left because I was......" she shook her head. "Forget it....it doesn't matter anymore......nothing matters anymore."

Mulder nodded and took another deep breath. "Why did--did you come?" he asked her. "I don't think you-you came all this way to play doc...doctor."

"I came because I love you." she whispered. "I never stopped loving you and I never will." she took his hand. "When you get out of here, I promise that I'll never leave you again." her words were sincere, but they held a cloud of doubt.

Mulder gently squeezed her hand and sighed. "I'll get well." he whispered then drifted off to sleep.'But you'll never know. it.' he told himself. 'You can't ever no it.'

****************
9:15 P.M.
Somewhere Dark

"Sir, he's been taken care off." a young man told his boss. "Agent Mulder will no longer be around to reopen the X-Files."

The older man sat up from the shadows, a puff of smoke surrounded him, "I did not ask you to kill him." the man said. "I asked that you scare him, never did I ask that you kill him."

The younger man turned as white as a sheet. "I...I...Never meant to.." he stuttered but stopped. The older man was staring at him. "I'm sorry sure....perhaps he'll pull through."

"For your sakes he better." the older man said. "And if he doesn't you'll be joining him." he laughed. "About ten feet under."

*****************
9:18 P.M.
J.F.K Memorial Hospital

Mulder knew that he was drifting farther and farther away from consciousness, but he couldn't help it. Nothing could be helped. He hurt so much. "Dana." he whispered.

Dana was at his side immediately. "I'm here." she whispered. "I'm not going anywhere." she took his hand and held it tight. "Stay with me Mulder. I don't think I can handle losing you."

Mulder didn't want to leave her, he didn't even want to think about leaving her all alone with no one to look after her. But, on the other hand, he was sin so much pain and all he wanted to do was die. Well, maybe not die, but he wanted to be at peace. 'What's holding me back from dying?' he wondered. As if in answer to his question, he could feel Dana's soft hand on his cheek. "Dana." he answered aloud.

"Hmm?" she asked leaning in closer to him.

"Let me go." he whispered. "Please, let me go." he looked deeply into her eyes. "I can't rest until I know that you will be able to let me go. You have to let me go...I can't be here forever."

"I can't let you go." Dana cryed. "I can't stop loving you just because your here, in the hospital." she shook her head. "I refuse to let you go."

'This isn't working.'Mulder thought and decided to try a different approach. "Sc...Dana." he smiled slightly. "I want peace....I haven't felt peace since I was a little kid. I want it and I can't rest knowing that I left behind something that can't let me go." he coughed.

Dana sighed and turned away. "You can't just ask me to let you go." she whispered and left without another word.

Peace, Be Still 15/16 "Be Still"

"Deep within my heart your thoughts bring comfort to my soul, helping me to onward press toward that final goal. So I'll not fear when trouble comes, nor dread the darkest night, when I hear you say, 'Peace, be still.' I know I'm all right."

***************
11:30 P.M.
April 7, 1997
Margaret Scully's Apartment.

Margaret gently placed a hand on her daughters shoulder. "Dana." she said softly. "The hospital just called."

Dana looked at her mother with weary eyes. "Is he dead?" she was almost afraid to ask. She knew that if he was not already dead that he'd die soon, so she was prepared.

Margaret shook her head, "No Honey, but he's been asking for you." she kneeled in front of her daughter. "He's in so much pain, Dana. You have to go see him. The way you left him yesterday really hurt him."

Dana nodded, "I know mom." she mumbled. "I couldn't help it. I was so mad. He want's me to let him go, but I can't....." she shook her head sadly. "There is know way that I can let him go....I love him so much."

"Dana, Fox may not live much longer. If I were you, I'd be spending as much time as I could with him." her mother stood up. "Come on." she motioned to the car. "I'll drop you off at the hospital."

Dana shook her head. "Mom, if you don't mind...I'd like to drive myself."

Her mom nodded and handed her the car keys. "You know honey, it may be time for you to let him go. He's hurting and he's dying. Let him rest peacefully, don't keep him hanging on like he's doing."

"I know mom." she whispered then left leaving her mom and the rest of her life behind.

***********
11:50 P.M.

"How is he?" Dana asked Dr. Steven.

Dr. Steven sighed. "It's doesn't look good agent Scully. He has a lot of internal bleeding and....." he shook his. "He's been asking for you."

Dana nodded, "Yeah.....I was going to see him now." she opened the door to Mulder's room.

"I'll see you later." Dr. Steven said and turned to leave.

Dana crossed the room to Mulder's bed. "Mulder." she whispered. "Mulder, wake up."

Mulder opened his eyes and smiled, "You promised you'd never leave me again." he whispered. "But promises are made to be broken." there was a slight hint of humor to his voice. "Right, Scully?"

"You know..." Dana began. "I really believe that you can be at peace if you want to." she smiled. "I don't want you to die and don't believe that your going to die, but if you do.....I promise that I'll go on searching for your sister." she stroked his cheek gently. "Only if you promise to look out for me."

Mulder felt tears coming to his eyes. "I'll always look out for you." he promised. "I...." he paused as a pain rose in his chest. "I....Love you."

Dana gripped his hand tightly. "Do you want to know why I left you when you were so sick?" she asked.

"No." Mulder shook his head. "An...another time." he couldn't breath. Everything began to spin around him. He could hear Scully calling his name but he could not focus on her face, everything was going black.

"Mulder." Dana cryed. "Please...., you need to know." but he was slipping away. She pressed her lips to his, he responded only slightly then there was nothing left. The warmth still remained but his features were still. The beeping of Mulder's Heart monitor became one long stream and before she knew it doctors and nurses were pushing her away.

Dana leaned against the wall. He was gone. Gone forever, he would no longer be able to continue his search for his sister, he would no longer be able to hold her in his arms and he would no longer be in pain. His pain was gone and that was all that mattered. He was still.

"Mulder." she whispered. She felt arms close around her and instead of pushing them away she rested with in the grasp.

"Agent Scully, come." It was Skinner, directing her away from all the commotion. "Let's go somewhere quiet so that we can talk."

Dana shook her head and pulled away. "Mulder needs me!" she cried. "I can't leave him." she felt a sob rise in her throat but she fought it. "I love him! I need him." she fell to her knees.

Skinner pulled her up. "Let me take you home." he whispered. "Are you staying with your mother?"

Dana nodded. "I have her car here." she whispered.

"I'll send some one for it in the morning." he led her to his car. "I'm sorry , I know how much he meant to you."

"No you don't." she whispered. "You don't know how much I loved him, I loved him more than my life." she shook her head. "I would have given him my life if I thought it would help."

Skinner watched her in silence. "I promise that we'll get who did this." he said. "I promise Dana. Just please, don't give up on me. Just because Mulder's gone, it doesn't mean that you have to give up."

Dana took a deep breath and stared out the window. "I'm sorry sir. I'm not in the mood to talk right now." she closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat.

Skinner pulled up in front of Margaret Scully's house. Dana was asleep in the passenger side and he didn't have the heart to wake her. Instead he got out and made his way up to the Scully's front door. Ringing the door bell, he glanced back at Dana.

"Walter." Margaret cryed opening the door.

Skinner sighed. "Agent Mulder just passed away." he said sadly. "I brought Dana home...she's taking it pretty badly."

Margaret glanced out at the car. "Will you carry her in for me?" she asked. "Try not to wake her. She hasn't slept in days."

Skinner nodded and did as she asked. Once they had Dana situated in bed, Margaret turned to Skinner and said, "I'm really worried about her. She and Mulder have been having problems for awhile and now." she shook her head. "Now I'm not sure how she's going to handle this."

"Do you suppose that she'll leave the FBI?" he asked.

Margaret shrugged. "My babies not a quitter, but she's not an iron pillar either. She's losing her strength."

"If there's anything you or Dana need...." he jotted down his home phone number. "Please...don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you Walter." Margaret said.

Skinner was about to leave when he remembered her car. "Oh, I'll send an agent by with your car tomorrow." he said then quietly let himself out. He drove back to the FBI parking garage and got out to wait for the man he was to meet.

"Is he dead?" a voice asked from the shadows.

Skinner stepped forward to get a better look at the man. "Yes, he's dead." he replied. "I suppose your happy now. Agent Scully is no threat so I ask that you leave her alone."

The man nodded and took a puff of his cigarette. "I didn't kill agent Mulder." he said. "I have no intention of laying a finger on Agent Scully either. " he laughed. "As a matter of fact, I've already taken care of the man who shot Agent Mulder. So there is no reason to worry."

"Why?" Skinner asked. "Why would you do that. Your the one who told me to keep Agent Mulder in the division he was in and if my memory serves me correctly, weren't you the one who made me shut down the X-Files." he paused. "So I ask you, why would you go after his assailant?"

The cancer man laughed, "I never wanted agent Mulder dead. I promised his father that I'd look out for him and, " he laughed again. "And well, closing down the X-Files was my way of looking after him."

Skinner shook his head. "What will become of Agent Scully?" he asked. "As you probably know, she and Mulder were romantically involved."

"Is that what you call that thing they were in?" Cancer man asked. "I figured that it was another world war." he lit up another cigarette. "I mean, after, they couldn't quit get along, all they did was fight and then make up, fight and then make up." he shook his head. "I thought I had a problem with commitment."

Skinner did not say anything. He watched the older man pace back and fourth , smoking his death trap. "And how would you know that?" he finally asked. "Have you sent spy's after them?"

The other man smiled. "I am not a liberty to say." he said then smiled. "You fancy Margaret Scully, don't you?" he asked. "I can see it in your eyes when you talk about Agent Scully."

"I respect Margaret Scully." Skinner replied. "I respect her more than I respect a lot of people." he started to back towards his car. "You see," he began. "That's where you and I are different......I can be friends with a woman and not have romantic notions. But you..." he shrugged. "You have to go and sleep with Mul......."

The Cancer Man cut him off. "Let's drop this subject!" he said angrily. "I will be in contact with you." he backed up into the shadows and then disappeared into the darkness.

Skinner groaned and quickly got back into his car. "It can't be that obvious." he mumbled then pulled out of the garage and headed back to his home.

***************
1:42 P.M.

Dana opened her in fear. "Mulder!" she screamed. "Mulder, please!"

A few minute's later her bedroom door flew open and Margaret Scully was quickly at her daughters side. "Dana..." she whispered and wrapped her arms around her.

"He can't be gone, mom." she cryed. "He just can't really be gone."'

Margaret gently rocked her daughter back and forth. "He's not really gone as long as you still remember him." she whispered. "He'll always love you Dana, you know that. Just because his body died, it doesn't mean that he really died."

Dana shook her head, "If only I had listened to my heart and stayed with him when her need me." she whispered. "If only I wasn't so selfish and cruel."

"You are not selfish and cruel." Margaret assured her daughter. "I promise that you aren't. Don't think that about yourself or you will turn selfish and cruel." she smiled softly. "Mulder is at rest now, you should be happy for him, you should be glad that he isn't suffering anymore."

Dana nodded and pulled away. "I have to find his sister, mom. he'll never truly rest until I find his sister."

Margaret nodded, but then shook her head. "I think that he already knows what happened to his sister, but I believe that he want's you to find her. That is..." she paused. "That is unless she isn't already with him. She could have died years ago."

"I guess." Dana agreed and laid back down. "I'm tired, let's talk in the morning. I need to call Mulder's mom."

Margaret stood up, "I already called Fox's mother." she said. "She was going to catch the first flight out here and call me from the airport."

Dana yawned. "Thanks mom." she whispered and drifted of to sleep."

**************
March 14, 2000

"Why?" Dana asked again. "Why the hell didn't you transfer him?"

Skinner slumped down in his chair. "They told me not too. I wanted to, but they told me not to...and I couldn't get out of it."

"Who told you not to?"

"They did." he shrugged. "You know the guy who smokes all of those cigarettes."

Dana nodded, "I figured that." she mumbled. "So why are they letting you reopen the X-Files?"

"Well." Skinner replied. "I had the power to open them right back up after Mulder's funeral but I figure that you couldn't take it so I didn't."

Peace, Be Still 16/16 "Ashes to Ashes"

"Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, Pain for Pain, Lust for Lust. Nothing to gain, No one to trust, Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust." (Heather Jokiel)

************
April 11, 1997
Oakwook Cemetery
Washington DC

The day of Mulder's funeral was cold and snowy. Dana didn't want to give the eulogy for Mulder, but after countless hours of writing she had found the perfect speech to give. With the fear that she would fall apart, Dana took her place at the podium. "When I was called to work with Agent Mulder...Fox......" She corrected herself. "I was quiet skeptical." she paused. "But he taught me to search beyond the realms of science and into to something far more unexplainable.

Dana glanced out at the crowd of people that surrounded her and continued. "His constant search for the truth lead him to find something greater, something that we all dream of. *Peace*." she could feel tears coming to her eyes. "Many years ago, Fox lost his younger sister......and I think....., *I believe* that her disappearance made him stronger and with that strength, he gathered up the courage to follow his heart and continue the search for the truth." she paused. "The truth that is out there, the truth that you and everyone else wants to believe in."

Off in the distance, Dana noticed a man standing underneath a tree. He was surrounded in a cloud of smoke and she could just make out the faint out line of his face. Adverting her attention back to the speech, she continued. "Out of all the years of my life, I have never known anyone as special and anyone who I could trust more than Fox." She closed up the piece of paper she was reading off of and took her seat next to Mrs. Mulder.

Dana started down at Mulder's grave. She didn't understand why it had to be him and not her. They had promised never to leave one another, but now he was gone and left her behind.

Everyone was leaving her alone, it wasn't that she wanted people to talk to her, but she thought it would be nice for people to acknowledge her existence. 'No one even knew we were together.' the remembered.

"Dana?" someone called.

It was Mulder's mother. Her arms were out stretched, reaching out to her. Dana quietly hugged her and cryed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Mulder." she whispered. "I wish there was something I could have done."

Mulder's mother pulled away, "I know that you did everything that you could." she smiled. "He loved you a lot Dana."

Dana nodded, "I know. I guess knowing that he loved me is helping me cope with his death." she sat back down in the folding chairs. "So what are you going to do now?" she asked.

"I'm going back to Chilmark." Mulder's mother replied. "How 'bout you? Are you going to stay with the FBI?"

"I don't know." Dana said truthfully. "I kinda promised Mulder that I'd stay with the bureau, but I don't know." she sighed. "I think I'm going to take some time off and try to figure out what I'm going to do."

Mrs. Mulder nodded, "That sounds like a good idea. Be sure to keep in touch."

"I will." Dana agreed. "I'm really sorry that I couldn't do something to save him."

"It's not your fault dear." Mrs. Mulder whispered. "He knew that his work would eventually get him and he didn't stop. Beside you, his work was his whole life. There was no way you could have stopped this or prevented it." she held her hand out to Dana, "Come on, let's go."

Dana closed her eyes and shook her head, "I think I'm going to stay here for a little while. You and my mother can go ahead leave."

"All right." Mrs. Mulder said and headed back towards Margaret.

Dana watched as the men began to get ready to lower Mulder's coffin into the ground. The cemetery was nearly empty now, a few of Mulder's friends still lingered around the gates, but other than that she was alone.

Walking over to Mulder's grave she new what she had to do. She gently took off the cross she wore around her neck, and placed it on the shiny handle of his coffin. "I'll never stop looking for the truth." she whispered placing her hand on the wood of his coffin. "I promise. Even if I decide to go away, I'll never stop searching."

***************
April 15, 1997
Boston FBI Headquarters
9:15 P.M.

"Are you absolutely certain you want to stay with the FBI?" Crawford asked. "Because after all that's happened I'd understand if you didn't."

Dana nodded, "Yes I'm certain." she replied. "I promised Mulder that I wouldn't quit because of him and I don't plan to." she smiled. "Besides I can't leave you all alone, what would you do with out me."

Crawford laughed, "It's good to see that you've got your sense of humor back. I was just concerned that this little incident would hurt your job performance."

"I've already agreed to stick with desk work until I'm ready to get back into action, so you don't have to worry about me." she ran a hand through her soft red hair. "Is there anything else, Agent Crawford?"

"No! I just hope that you know what your doing." he said. "if you ever feel that you need to talk to some one......."

Dana cut him off, "I'll call you." she finished for him. "You don't have to keep telling me that. I heard you the first time." she through him a file. "Read that tonight, the Neman case can't continue to sit here."

Crawford laughed and caught it, "Go home and get some sleep." he said. "You look exhausted."

Dana nodded and stood up, "Okay. I'll see you in the morning."

A half an hour later Dana pulled into her apartment building. For the past week she had been putting on a brave face for everyone else's sake, but all the grief was beginning to sneak up on her.

She got out of the car and headed up to her apartment. Normally she would have called Mulder or something, but now she sat in her empty apartment all alone.

"I'm never going back there." she whispered and wrapped her arms around her self. "I can never go back to DC." She was about to go into her room when the phone rang. "Hello?" she said. (Silence) "Hello?" she said again. Still silence.

Dana looked down at the phone in her hand and hung it up. 'They'll call back if it was important.' she thought then went into her room and closed the door.

*************
J. Edgar Hoover Building
Washington DC

Skinner started down at the phone he held in his hand. 'Why did I just hang up on Scully?' he asked himself.

"Call her back." A voice demanded from the shadows. "Call her back."

Skinner shook his head. "No." he replied. "She's been though enough. I'm not about to reopen up the X-Files and have her suffer more. The X-Files were Agent Mulder's, Agent Scully didn't care about them half as much as he did. I don't think reopening them is such a great idea."

The man in the shadows leaned forward, "Fine, but you will one day Walter." he said. "I can promise you that." he took a drag on his cigarette. "And when you do, it will be agent Scully that will be the head of it. She may choose her own partner as well."

"Why are you doing this?" Skinner asked. "What has she done to you, what did Agent Mulder ever do to you?"

"Agent Mulder did nothing to me. I did not kill him, I think I already told you that." the Cancer man stood up. "I will call you when I want you to start up the X-Files again. Are we agreed?"

Skinner nodded and watched the other man leave. "I'll agree if Scully does." he added.

**************
March 14, 2000

"Why?" Dana asked again. "Why the hell didn't you transfer him?"

Skinner slumped down in his chair. "They told me not too. I wanted to, but they told me not to...and I couldn't get out of it."

"Who told you not to?"

"They did." he shrugged. "You know the guy who smokes all of those cigarettes."

Dana nodded, "I figured that." she mumbled. "So why are they letting you reopen the X-Files?"

"Well." Skinner replied. "I had the power to open them right back up after Mulder's funeral but I figure that you couldn't take it so I didn't." he laughed. "I actually called you but when you picked up I hung up."

"Really?" she asked. "I don't really remember that."

"Do you want to work with the X-Files again?" Skinner asked. "You can have your picks at a partner, that way you can find someone you trust." he sighed. "I know that you'll never trust anyone as much as you trusted Mulder, but since it'll be your choice......." his voice broke off.

"I don't know." Dana replied. "I mean..., It doesn't feel right. I guess that I'll feel like I'm betraying Mulder by bringing someone new into it." she thought a moment. "Maybe if I worked alone, I could handle it, but not with someone else."

Skinner nodded, "You know," he said. "If you don't take this job I'm going to have to give it to someone else and then you'll really lose the X-Files."

Dana couldn't stand the thought of someone else working on hers and Mulder's X-Files. The X-Files belonged to them and no other. 'Would anyone else take pride in them as they had? Would anyone else believe as they did?' She asked herself. 'No.'

"I can't stand the thought of the X-Files be out there and my not having a part in them, so I'll take them." Dana smiled. "Maybe it's time for me to find the truth that I've been searching for."

"Great!" Skinner cryed. "Here" he through her a key. "Go down to the office and get everything the way you want it."

Dana excepted it gratefully, "Thanks." she said. "I'll see you later." she turned and walked out.

She made her way down the long corridor leading to her office. It had been so long since she'd stepped foot in hers and Mulder's office. Holding her breath, she gently pushed the door open.

"I see that you excepted." a voice said from the shadows.

Dana through her purse down and looked at the man. "I'm not in the mood to talk. Can you come back later?"

The man nodded and handed her a file. "Here, this is your first X-File."

Dana took it and watched the man leave. "Well, Mulder." she said. "I guess that I kept my promise after all." she sat down at her desk and sighed. "The truth is out there."

****************
Somewhere In DC

"She excepted." the Cancer man told the younger man. "So there is no reason to worry anymore."

The younger man nodded, "So she accepted, but where does that leave me? And where does that leave you?." the man said. "If anything happens to her I'm going to hold you personally responsible."

"Fine, but her search for the truth will lead her right to you, so don't get to comfortable."

"Oh I won't." the young man said. "And neither will you."

The End.............

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