Maybe Tomorrow, the Series. . . IV
Decisions for Tomorrow
By: Jenn Nistor

Disclaimer: I really hate typing these things out. Anyway, the character's Fox Mulder, Walter Skinner and Dana Scully are the property of Chris Carter, Fox, and 1013 productions. No copyright infringement is intended.

Note: Forgive me my 'shippers but I have sinned. I have engaged Scully to another man, but I don't regret it. For the purpose of this story I had too, but this piece has some MSR. There is some UST and if I continue with this series is will end in a full blown MSR!!!!!! Yeah, well here I go.

Note: As you can tell I have an obsession with the year 2000. Spooky, huh?

Summery: With Mulder and Scully now back together as a team, Mulder must try to understand the depression that his partner holds deep with in her. Will one midnight session change it all, or will he be to late? Sounds like a soap, right?

T H E X - F I L E S

Maybe Tomorrow IV "Promises for Tomorrow"
By Jenn Nistor
Jenn6092@aol.com

September 5, 2000
Scully's Apartment
Memphis, Tennessee
12:45 A.M.

Scully rubbed her eyes and turned away from her computer screen. "Mulder, can you pass me the Merioclus file, I have to start getting that one typed up."

Mulder glanced up and threw her the file. "Scully, can we call it a night. I'm so tired." he yawned. "And as much as I like these midnight sessions, I'm too tired to think straight. Plus we have to get up at 5:00 A.M. to catch a flight. Is it too much to ask that we get a little sleep."

Scully grinned and nodded. "I'll probably be up all night finishing this, but your more than welcome to leave." she turned back to the computer.

"Scully, why do you do this?"

She grinned again. "Mulder, I said you can go. I'll just do a little more then finish on the way. Don't let me keep you."

Mulder shook his head and yawned. "I'm almost to tired to drive home. Can I crash on your couch?"

Scully was about to protest too, but that strange feeling came over her again. She'd been having that feeling a lot lately. It came every time she was alone with him and it scared her. 'Your a grown woman.' she told herself. 'You can handle yourself around Mulder. Your getting married in three weeks.'

"Sure, let me get you some blankets." she stood up and headed towards her closet. She could feel Mulders eyes following her as she turned the corner and disappeared into her room.

Mulder sat quietly waiting for Scully to return. After about five minutes she reappeared caring two pillows and a blanket. "I really hope this isn't to much trouble, Scully. If it is I can catch a cab or......"

Scully shook her head and placed the bedding down next to him. "It's not, Mulder." she tried to smile, but her muscles wouldn't let her. She was scared and didn't know why. Her eyes locked with his and she suddenly felt her heart speed up. "I..." she turned away.

"Scully? You okay?" Mulder laid a hand on her shoulder.

She jumped. Trying to hide her embarrassment she turned away and began to play with her computer. She wished she knew what was wrong with her. This was Mulder, not.......

"Scully?" he stepped closer. "What's wrong."

"No....nothing." she stammered. "I just......" she let her voice trail off. This wasn't working. "I just need to get some sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning."

Mulder watched her leave and then turned out the light. He was about to flip on the TV when he suddenly realized what Scully's problem had been. Last time he had stayed at her place he had beat her up. She had just been trying to help, but he had taken everything out on her. He remembered that night as if it was just yesterday........

***************
January 11, 1997
Scully's Apartment
Washington DC
1:30 A.M.

"Mulder maybe you should stay here tonight. I don't think that it'd be a good idea for you to drive home in this condition." Scully said opening her apartment door for him.

Mulder wanted to slap her. He was so sick of her attitude and her skepticism. Everything she did brought him one step further from finding what he really wanted. "No, I don't think so." Mulder hissed. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but it came out the way he felt.

"What?" Scully eyes him curiously. "Mulder, I realize that this case didn't turn out the way you wanted it too, but there's nothing you or I can do. Please, try and understand that letting her go was for the best."

"For who, Scully? You or me?"

"Mulder--" she reached out to him, but he moved away. "It was for the both of us. Those men would have killed both you and I if we hadn't let her go. You understand that, don't you?" she felt as though she was speaking to a child.

"Forget it." Mulder mumbled and reached for the door. "I'm leaving. I wouldn't count on my coming in for a while." he was about to walk out when he felt Scully's hand close over her shoulder. "Scully let me go!"

"No!" she screamed. "Mulder you need to sleep. I'm worried about you. This isn't healthy!"

"Scully you ruined my only chance to save Samantha, your lucky I haven't killed you." he jerked away roughly. "I'm warning you! Leave me alone!"

"Mu......." she didn't know what to say. She had never seen him so upset or angry. It scared her. "Mulder it wasn't my fault.....you know that."

Mulder laughed. "I'm always pulling your ass out of deadly situations. Two in which I had a chance to save Samantha. I don't know why the hell I've put up with you this long."

"Then why have you, Mulder?"

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know why he had stuck with her so long. He cared about her and trusted her, but lately he found that trust was hard to come by. It wasn't just his paranoia anymore, it was something more.

"I don't know." he replied. "But I think this is it. No more Scully! I'm beginning to think that your one of them!"

"Mulder! How the hell could I be one of them!? You need to get some sleep, your not making any sense." she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Mulder watched as the words hit her with full force. He hated seeing the pain he was a causing her, but he couldn't stop. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted her to feel his pain. he reached out and grabbed her arm. "Do you like being in pain, Scully? Do you like to hurt?"

She could feel tears stinging her eyes. His grip was so tight. "Mulder.....please. Please, stop."

He shook his head. "Not until you feel my pain."

"Please.......I'm sorry. I'll help you find her, just let me......." she felt her head snap back as his hand made contact with her cheek. She felt another blow before she went flying across the room. Sobs shook her body as she tried to understand what had just happened.

"Why?" she sobbed.

Mulder looked down at his hands then back at her. "Oh, God." he couldn't believe what he had just done. "God, Scully." he wanted to comfort her, to hold her, but she was backing further into the corner away from him.

"I'm sorry." he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

****************
September 5, 2000
1:50 A.M.
Scully's Apartment
Memphis Tennessee

She couldn't sleep. Why couldn't she sleep? Her hand traveled up to her cheek. It was long since healed, but she could still feel his pain penetrating her. It hadn't been the pain from the blow, but the pain she had seen in his eyes that had ailed her.

Scully often wondered if he still blamed her. There was something in his eyes now that hadn't been there before. He seemed so much more gone.

She could hear the TV blaring in the living room. 'Doesn't he ever sleep?' she wondered and climbed out of bed. Pulling on her robe she opened the door and went into the living room. She didn't want to go any further so she positioned herself in the doorway.

Mulder was curled up in a fetal position watching some old war movie. He looked so peaceful, Scully wasn't sure of whether or not she was supposed to approach him or just leave him. She had too admit that she still feared him a little.

Sensing her presence, Mulder sat up but did not face her. "We have to talk." he said softly and turned off the TV. He buried his head in his hands to hide the tears he felt pooling in the corners of his eyes.

Scully took a deep breath and walked over to sit next to him. "You okay?" she asked. "I thought you were tired."

Mulder nodded. "I was just thinking about that night." he turned to face her. "I still can't believe I hurt you like that. I never meant to do that. I was so upset."

"I know. I forgave you along time ago. My face healed." she smiled. "But my heart--, my heart didn't." she paused trying to think of the right thing to say. "You hurt me by blaming me. I realize that I may have been partly to blame, but I never meant to. I just want you to know that and understand it."

"I never thought I'd be sitting here again." he gently touched her cheek. "I'll never hurt you again."

"Will you promise me something?" Scully asked.

"I'll promise you anything."

"Will promise me that you'll stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life? I need you to do that for me."

Mulder nodded, but didn't understand it. "What mistake might that be? Or is it something you might do on the spur of the moment?"

Scully shrugged. "Just promise me. You'll know what it is when it happens."

"Do you love him, Scully?" Mulder asked softly. He had to know if she truly loved Parker.

The question caught her off guard, but she quickly recovered. "He loves me. It feels good to be loved." she smiled.

"That doesn't answer my question. I know he loves you, but I asked if you loved him. You can love and receive love, but those are two different things."

"I really want a family. I want to know that I've actually done something with my life. I don't want to die knowing that I wasted most of my life waiting for something that I knew I could never have. You and I both know what that's like. Knowing that we can't have what we truly want and crave."

Scully stared out into the darkness. She hadn't meant to say so much, but she needed him to hear it even if he didn't know what it meant. This was her dark side. The terrible depression that haunted her soul. She had never let anyone see it until now. Sometimes she thought it would be so easy to end her life. To just take a razor and slit her wrists. But there was always something holding her back. Mulder.

"What haven't you gotten that you wanted?" Mulder asked.

'He's so blind.' she thought. He couldn't even pick up the obvious. "I never got the truth for one thing. There are so many other things that I want, but can't have." she turned to look at him. "Is there anything you want besides the truth and answers?"

Mulder nodded. He wanted her, but there was no way he could tell her that. She was getting married to man that was so much more deserving than he was. He couldn't stand in the way of her happiness.

"Yeah, but I'll never get what I want." he said simply, not bothering to offer any more information on what he wanted. 'Maybe someday.' he thought sadly. 'Maybe tomorrow, but then again maybe not.'

"I don't really care anymore." Scully whispered so softly that Mulder had to strain hi s ears to hear her.

He didn't understand what was wrong with her. He had never seen her so depressed. She wasn't even half as depressed after her sisters funeral.

"You should." he took her hand. "Tell me what you want, Scully. Tell me and I'll get it for you. Just say it and I'll do it. You know I would."

"I just want you to promise me." she whispered. "I'm not asking for anything else. I'm just asking that you keep your promise when the time is right and if you don't, there is no way I can promise you that I will be here tomorrow."

"What's wrong with you?" Mulder asked. "I've never seen you like this. I've never seen you so depressed. Did I do something?"

Scully shook her head and leaned into his shoulder. She could smell his fresh sensed skin and she could feel his warmth through his T-shirt. She had always felt so safe in his arms, she didn't want to leave him. She didn't want to move.

"I'm not depressed. I just need....." she closed her mouth before she let her secret slip.

Mulder wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Come on. We have to get up early. Go back to bed." he started to stand up, but Scully stopped him.

"Can't we just sit like this awhile? I miss not having you there to comfort me when I need comfort."

"Scully, when did you ever let me comfort you?" he asked. "If I recall, every time I asked you how you were you always said, 'I'm fine, Mulder.', never once did you ask for my comfort or take comfort."

"I need you now." she whispered softly. "Just give me now."

Mulder nodded and held her tighter. "I promise, Scully." he whispered and together they drifted off to sleep.

*******************
End.

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