Josef Ben-Binyamin's Story
An Online Journey
My family, like many American Jewish families, celebrated Pesach, Hanukkah, and a few other less important holidays. We went to shul on the High Holidays and lit the Shabbat candles. But, I wholeheartedly felt as if I was missing something.
I moved to Israel in the late 1970's, and met my first wife. We moved back to the United States and settled into a tedious-at-best marriage (it was both of our faults). In 1994, as we were separated, I met a woman who I fell in love with. She was a "Messianic Jew."
I was captured by what I thought I wanted. Boy, was I wrong! I got into "Messianic" Judaism out of a feeling of spiritual lacking, having never really taken the time to read the Tanach (Jewish Bible) in full detail. (Sadly, this is typical of many western Jews.)
The feelings I got out of "Messianic" Judaism were ones of "belonging." This was something I had been searching for, and thought I had found.
All of a sudden, this woman was ripped out of my life by HaShem! I did not realize how confused I had become until then. I think what finally got me searching was the saying that Jesus was a god, which to me was impossible.
G-d Himself said there are "no others before Me nor shall there be any others after me" (Isaiah 45:5; Isaiah 43:10).
It still took some time. Finally, after sulking and wimpering for a while, I got online (America On Line), where I met my current wife, Shira. Oddly enough, we met in America On Line's "Jews for Jesus" chat room, where she was being ripped apart. I came to her defense, and we began talking. We both realized we had really never read G-d's Word (the Bible) as it was meant to have been read. So we finally went out, after getting married, and purchased a Tanach.
We both were trying to figure where we "fit in," but did so separately, so as not to influence each other's opinion. Almost to the day, we both came to the same conclusion: we belonged back in Judaism -- Traditional Judaism -- not some fakery. So, back we came a runnin'.
There were many online who belittled us for this choice, and still to this day do so. But, to them we answer: we know that we are where G-d wants us to be, raising the kids Jewishly and ourselves as well. It has been a long road back, but one in which I know where I belong.
B"H, I am back in real, Traditional Judaism.