If you are melancholy for the first time, you will find, upon a little inquiry, that others have been melancholy many times and yet are cheerful now.
-Leigh Hunt
It is normal to feel some amount of “post-partum depression”, or “baby blues”, as it is often called after your baby arrives. When you add the fact that your baby requires extended hospitalization, you may feel unusually sad or depressed.
If you feel:
these feelings of sadness are becoming overwhelming
you cannot sleep or are having sleeping difficulties you have lost your appetite
you cannot eat
you want to sleep all the time
you feel as if you could cry all the time
you feel exceptionally irritable
you feel as if you could physically hurt yourself or another
then you may be suffering from depression or post-partum depression. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and experience some or all of the above feelings at some points during your baby's stay in the NICU.
However, it is important you talk with your doctor and your baby’s doctors and nurses if this becomes a pattern of living each day and night. They can help you find ways to get through this difficult time.
A good way to cope with these feelings is to talk with others who have experienced a preemie birth in the past, or who currently have a baby in the nicu. Some times, though, you may need to take more measures to help you cope with your feelings of depression. You may need to meet with a counselor or therapist or discuss taking some anti-depressant medication. Of course, these decisions can only be made with a doctor's advice.
If you are feeling depressed, find help. It is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. It does not mean you are a failure as a parent. It means that you need some extra help in dealing with a difficult and traumatic time in your life.
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