The debate was interesting. I heard a lot about the horror stories of what the kids have found on the Internet. I also have read many stories about how bad the Internet is in the newspaper. There are always those trying to defend the internet. They tell of the good things found on-line. They tell of how a kidnapped child was able to get back home because of the Internet. I have also read about rape, murder, scams, and other unthinkable things allegedly caused by the Internet. I even heard how my child is going to become mentally deranged and become a mass murder because he is allowed to go on-line.

As for the online services, I only have experience with CompuServe and AOL. They both have parental controls that will prevent your child from going to certain areas. They can even be set so that your child can not go into chat areas. I imagine it is a very good selling point for allowing our children on-line. There are good and bad areas on-line. The truth is that there is just about everything online that there is in real life.

I find it very interesting how often we get told about how dangerous being on-line is....not just for our kids but for us also. We are not safe anywhere!

What is *my* honest opinion on all of this? Grow up! Let's get real! How naive are you? (Gee, should I go on?)

There is everything online that is off-line. I do not doubt that. Actually, probably more because the media itself causes even the most timid to anonymously present something that in real life would not be acceptable. The online world might be a place to let all the deep darkness inside you out without anyone knowing who you are. So? Don't go there, don't do that, don't read that, shut the computer off, whatever. If you don't like something, it is only a click of the mouse to get away from it. Too bad we can not do that in real life. I can think of many times a day that I would like to click someone or something away.

What about the pornography? Well, my son has received some pretty interesting pictures via e-mail. Very explicit ones at that! He got some of them from a mass mailing list he signed up for. He was looking other types of information but they got his email address from the mass mailing site. He also got some of the pornography from his friends. The kid that e-mailed them to him the most just lives across the street. This same kid is the one that showed him his father's nude magazines three years ago. In person...in his house...with his parents home. (Imagine that?)

I have heard of a site on-line that has some very graphic pictures of people with their heads smashed open, body parts torn off. The kids told me about it. One went to the site. His opinion was, "How gross!" I have not asked my son if he as gone to that particular site. I do not think he has because he would have told me about it.

Have you ever driven past an accident? Has your child ever seen bodies thrown all over the road...heard the screaming of pain and death? Has your child lived through a tornado to find the neighbors crushed and dead. Has your child ever seen a fight in school? Has your child watched the video Faces of Death that is found in just about every video store. Death, dying and suffering is all around us in everyday life. We may not see it, usually we try to avoid it, but it is there.

I have also been told that stalkers of all kinds are lurking on the Internet to seduce us and our children. I do not doubt in this. What I find interesting is that logic tells me that to stalk online takes a more skillful person then it does off-line. Off- line a person can seduce your child with toys, candy, or just pull up in a car and grab them before they even know what is happening. Did you know that most crime happens in broad daylight with people watching? Did you know that people have been know to pull up in your drive, break in your house, clean you out of everything, while the neighbors are watching. They just think you are giving stuff away, moving, or do not even notice or do not want to get involved. That teacher, that woman, that man takes you or your child behind closed doors somewhere, anywhere and in an instant rapes, molest or kills. Yet, I am supposed to believe the biggest danger is the person my child will meet online?

Please, people, let's get real!

The problem is not the Internet. The problem is people, whether online or off-line. If you have raised your child to be cautious of strangers, to be alert to danger signs, to become aware of those feelings they posses that tell them, "something is not right here," or even if you have not taught your child anything, how can the Internet be more dangerous then real life? If you are going to be that paranoid, please remember, never work at a post office, be aware that walking into a fast-food place, sitting on your front step, walking down the road, can cause you to get shot! Also remember that bullets do travel through walls. I have personally known a family that had a bullet come only inches from their sleeping baby's head. It came from the house next door. But, I had better keep my child off the internet.

We could get even more paranoid if I talked about everything in life that we could be afraid of. Life is full of dangers both on and off-line. I do not paint a "perfect" world to my children. If I did, they would wonder what planet I lived on.

I do not use any parental controls while my child surfs the net. And I do not plan on using them in the future. Even my kids will tell you that they can find anything in school and usually worse then what they would find on the Net. I personably prefer that my kids find out about life while they are living at home. This way as they find things, have questions, I am still part enough of their lives to talk about it, learn from it. Even if your child does not talk to you freely, there are ways to see where they have been while on-line.

I think you need to realize that whatever anyone wants to find, they will somehow, some way find it. Stop using the internet as an excuse, as far as that goes, stop looking for excuses. You need to know your kids, communicate with them. Treat life as a learning process not something to be scared of but to be alert to. Do not throw reality in their face, but, do not paint the world as it would be with rose colored glasses.

You also need to remember that the more forbidden something is, according to human nature, the more interesting it becomes.

If your child is the type to search out things that you disagree with, sexual, masochistic, whatever, instead of throwing a fit, find out why, and what is the special attraction. Perhaps it is something he or she needs help with. Guide your children, for you will never control them.

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