TYRANNOSAURUS DEBT
Music and Lyrics Tom Yohe
Sung by Bob Dorough and Bob Kaliban
Designed by Tom Yohe
Animation by Phil Kimmelman Assoc.
TOUR GUIDE: To your left, folks, is the Washington Monument; to
your right,
the White House; and over there, just beyond the Capitol, is the
national debt!
TOURISTS: Oooo! Wow!
There's something huge
Red, white, and blue
That's grazing in D.C.
It's gobbling up the taxes
That are paid by you and me
It doesn't seem to notice
We really can't afford
The billions that it's costing us
To pay its room and board
It doesn't roam
But seems content
To dwell on Capitol Hill
As long as trucks keep pulling up
With tons of green-back bills
We've got to feed the big guy
We really can't forget
It has an awesome appetite
Tyrannosaurus Debt
TOUR GUIDE: The debt was born in 1790 when our new government
took over
75 million the colonies spent in the Revolutionary War.
We've got to feed the monster
So it doesn't get upset
It's got an awesome appetite
Tyrannosaurus Debt
TOUR GUIDE: Alexander Hamilton, our first Secretary of the
Treasury
(he's on the 10, you know), wanted a federal debt to provide a
reason to establish taxes to support our new nation.
The debt was young, they kept it small
They didn't know back then
In 1812 another war would make it grow again
By '66 the Civil War had cost the nation millions
The government in Washington now had a debt of billions
TOUR GUIDE: The Civil War ran up a debt of almost three billion
dollars
that still wasn't paid off by World War One.
We're spending money we don't have
Or so it would appear
The deficit is that amount we overspend each year
Though congressmen and senators
Make vows to cut its size
Despite their honest efforts
The debt just seems to rise
TOUR GUIDE: Now the debt's over 4 trillion dollars and still
growing...
A balanced budget would be great
To spend within our means
To stop the monster in its tracks
Before we bust our seams
It feeds on just the interest
Its appetite is whet
It never, ever stops to rest
Tyrannosaurus Debt
TOUR GUIDE: And this is the U.S. Treasury. It sells Treasury
Bonds,
bills, and notes, and savings bonds to finance the debt. The U.S.
government promises to pay the owner interest plus the value of
each
bond at a future date.
We've got to try to tame the debt
And bring it down to size
To let it grow unchecked like this
Is certainly unwise
The debt's a monster problem
That we really can't ignore
I guess we should be grateful
That it's not a carnivore
We've got to keep on servicing
Our trillion dollar pet
It's got a monster appetite
Tyrannosaurus Debt
A fiscal misadventure
With trillion dollar dentures
Tyrannosaurus Debt
TOUR GUIDE: Feeding time is ALL the time.
THIS FOR THAT
Music and Lyrics George Newall
Sung by Bob Dorough
Designed by Phil Kimmelman
Animation by Phil Kimmelman Assoc.
When we lived in caves
There were no shopping malls
And people's manners were Neanderthal
No bodegas, no delis, no corner stores
Shopping trips turned into tugs of war
When not having pull got this man mangled
He thought he'd try an easier angle
I'll give you this for that
That for this
We'll make a trade called "barter"
I'll give you this for that
That for this
We'll have it made with barter
Now, barter worked well
At least in theory
But a wallet full of yaks
Could make you weary
Making change for a cow
Wasn't easy to master
Unless you were ready
For an "udder" disaster
Shiny shells were far more portable
Why not use them for what's affordable?
I'll give you this for that
That for this
With shiny shells, why barter?
I'll give you this for that
That for this
Shelling out shells is smarter
For farmers in ancient Mesopotamia
The barley they grew was the money mania
When hauling big sacks put their backs in traction
They invented coins to lighten transactions
Now, when a man had a debt to settle
He'd dig out some coins made of precious metal
I'll give you this for that
That for this
Silver or gold or copper
I'll give you this for that
That for this
With coins you're a smarter shopper
Then China made money even more desirous
Printing it on paper made of crushed papyrus
Take one from Column A and one from Column B
The Chinese paid their checks in paper currency
When Columbus set out on that famous charter
He had no paper money, so he had to barter
He took along some beads for currency
So barter played a part in our discovery
Balboa and Pisarro and Sebastian Cabot
Even Coronado had the trading habit
I'll give you this for that
That for this
They loaded up with gold, then parted
I'll give you this for that
That for this
And soon the whole world was charted
Today we use cash and spend with ardor
But that doesn't mean we don't still barter
When a football team needs a pulling guard
Or a kid like you is into trading cards
Take this for that
That for this
Bills and coins are smarter
But when you pay for that
Remember this
It all started out with barter
WALKIN' ON WALL STREET
Music and Lyrics Dave Frishberg
Sung by Dave Frishberg
Designed by Bill Packmann
Animation by Phil Kimmelman Assoc.
NEWSBOY: Extra! Extra! Latest Wall Street prices!
LESTER: Here's a quarter. Keep the change!
You gotta be cool
When you're walkin' on Wall Street
Like goin' to school
You learn a lot every day
And this is the rule
When you're walkin' on Wall Street
Buy low, sell high
Take a piece of the pie
That's the Wall Street way
LESTER: When you use your money to make more money, that's called
an
investment. When you invest in a corporation, that means you
own your own share of it.
The companies that manufacture things we use
Like telescopes and videos and high-top shoes
Are looking for investors such as me and you
So we can own shares in the company too
LESTER: That's called "stock." Smart investors look to
buy stock in a
company that's going up in value.
Here's a stock that's looking mighty good, I think
Whiz Bang Cola -- that's my favorite drink
Looks as if their sales are going up sky-high
Better call my broker and tell him to buy
LESTER: Hello, Leroy? This is Lester the Investor. Whiz Bang
Cola's
going up. Buy some stock for me!
LEROY: OK, Lester! Confirming your order: buy Whiz Bang Cola at
eight
and a quarter.
LESTER: All right!
You gotta be smart
When you're walkin' on Wall Street
So just for a start
I check the paper each day
First, I read the comics
Then I check the sports
And then I take a look at the market reports
To see if my stock is riding low or high
So I know when to sell, and I know when to buy
LESTER: Oh, oh! Here's a dime. Keep the change. Stock prices go
up and
down so smart investors like me buy a little at a time every
month.
That way, we can watch the ups and downs average out in the long
run.
Leroy calls that "dollar cost averaging."
I don't wanna get hurt
When I'm walkin' on Wall Street
I could lose my shirt
Not to mention my cash
So I stay alert
When I'm walkin' on Wall Street
Buy low, sell high
Take my piece of the pie
NEWSBOY: Read all about it! Latest Wall Street flash: Whiz Bang
Cola is
on the rise!
Well, I came out ahead
And I'm swingin' on Wall Street
And just like I said
I'm learning more every day
So remember the rule
When you're walkin' on Wall Street
Buy low, sell high
Take your piece of the pie
LESTER: Here's a dollar. Keep the change.
That's the Wall Street way
DOLLARS AND SENSE
Music and Lyrics Dave Frishberg
Sung by Val Hawk, Bob Dorough
Designed by Tom Yohe
Animation by W. Sedelmaier Productions
BECKY SUE:
You know I love country music and I practice daily
On my out of tune cockamamie ukelele,
but my daily ukelele playing ain't gonna get me far.
I need a guitar, an amp, and some quadrophonics,
and several hundred dollars worth of electronics
If I'm ever gonna get to be a country music star.
Gotta get me some dollars and cents, dollars and cents.
Them greenbacked bills with the pictures of the presidents.
BANKER:
Now I hear you squawkin' miss becky sue,
why don't you stop by the bank so I can explain to you,
how you can make more dollars if you use a little common sense.
chill out young lady, no need to fret,
although you can't afford to buy that equipment yet,
You've got a couple hundred bucks saved up in your birthday
stash.
why not deposit those dollars in the bank instead,
then at the end of the year you'll come out way ahead
because the bank will pay you money for the use of your cash.
and that's called interest, you're making money that way
and you can buy that gear about a year from today.
BECKY SUE:
Savin' sounds mighty nifty mister banker dude,
and I'd like to be thrifty but I ain't in the mood.
I'm inspired and I'm writing me a brand new country song
Got a lot of country western in my blood
like Reba and Loretta and Wynona Judd
gotta get me that equipment and I ain't about to wait too long
Gotta get me some dollars and cents, dollars and cents
Them greenbacked bills with the pictures of the presidents
so please Mr. banker won't you tell me how
I can get my mitts on some money right now
'cause waitin' for my dollars doesn't really seem to make much
sense.
BANKER:
why sure becky sue, I can give you a hint
I can lend you the money but you must understand
when you borrow from a bank then you gotta pay it back on time.
and when you're done paying back every dollar that's due
you'll find that you've paid a little extra too
for every dollar that you borrow you've gotta pay the bank a
dollar and a dime.
again that's interest, and it's just a fee
you pay to use the money that you borrow from me.
Talkin' 'bout dollars and cents, dollars and cents
Them greenbacked bills with the pictures of the presidents
since life is one experience that spares us no expense,
we've gotta use them dollars with a little bit of common sense.
we've gotta use them dollars with a little bit of common sense.
(are you sure Dolly Parton started this way?)
$7.50 ONCE A WEEK
Music and Lyrics Dave Frishberg
Sung by Dave Frishberg
Designed by Jack Sidebotham
Animation by Phil Kimmelman Assoc.
(Dad. . . )
Seven-fifty once a week,
they pay me seven fifty once a week.
You see me walkin' tall down at the shopping mall
'cause I'm making seven fifty once a week.
Now every monday morning when I get my pay,
I'm feeling very rich indeed.
I got a pocket full of money I can spend each day,
so I can pay for all the stuff I need.
I got a great start,
but here's the hard part.
I got to plan for every expense.
Cause every nickel counts,
When your entire allowance,
is only seven dollars fifty cents.
(But I do like to live it up. Every day after lunch at school I
treat myself to
an ice cream sandwich. At fifty cents apiece that comes to two
and a half
dollars every week. That's okay, I've still got five dollars
left, I'm still
ahead of the game.)
I start with seven fifty at the top.
My favorite bubble gum is sixty cents a pop.
I got to choose and plan,
and do the best I can.
I think I'm going to have to learn to shop.
By just comparing prices I could save a lot.
I spent two dollars for a bite to eat.
This chicken enchilada really hits the spot.
But it's on sale for fifty cents across the street.
Now I would like to try
a slice of pizza pie.
But I'm high and dry,
it's no joke.
I should have planned ahead,
I spent it all instead.
My allowance it gone, and I am broke.
When you get seven fifty once a week
sometimes the situation seems a little bleak
cuz it's a drag at the mall when you've got no cash at all
you're down the tube, you're up the creek.
(Well, there goes my allowance. I didn't plan ahead and I made
some bad
choices and I compared prices too late.)
I guess I'll have to find a way to earn some more
but that shouldn't be too hard.
Maybe I can do an extra household chore,
like wash the car or mop the floor
or maybe help clean up the backyard.
I'll get my spending planned
I'll get my shopping done
and still have cash on hand
that I can spend on fun.
I still get seven fifty once a week
but now I've learned some money management technique
and I can save enough to buy some real cool stuff
and I've made my little fortune so to speak
on only seven fifty once a week (That's my allowance.)
Seven fifty once a week (I balanced my budget!)
WHERE THE MONEY GOES
Music and Lyrics Rich Mendoza
Sung by Jack Sheldon
Designed by Bill Packmann
Animation by Phil Kimmelman Assoc.
JUNIOR: (Dad, how come you and mom can't pay for me to go on my
band trip to
the Rose Bowl Parade? Don't you make a ton of money?)
DAD: (I don't know about that, but we do have a a ton of
expenses!)
JUNIOR: (Like what? Isn't there something here we can do
without?)
DAD:
We can stop buying groceries,
But that might be a mistake,
'Cause eating is a habit I'd be loath to try and break.
We could stop paying income tax,
But they might send me to jail.
And if we don't pay the mortgage, then they'll take our house,
then where would we get our mail?
If not for all these bills and taxes
Our income would more than suffice.
I feel like a real big cheese until everybody takes a slice.
I don't want to bore you with my troubles or my woes
Still you're old enough to know where the money goes.
We don't have to pay for furniture,
If you want to learn upholstering.
We don't really need to pay the phone bill,
we can use tin cans and a string.
We'd never have to pay to paint the house,
If we went off and lived in a cave.
And if you're planning on inheriting a million bucks,
Then there's really no need to save.
We make a decent living, that's true,
But we have to pay these bills when they come due.
Please observe this illustration, irrefutably shows.
exactly how and where the money goes.
DAD:
(You know, if you could help us cut down on some of these
expenses, I bet we
could save enough for you to go on that trip.)
JUNIOR:
(What could I do?)
DAD:
We could really lower the phone bill
If you'd limit the length of your calls.
You could probably put some money in your savings bank,
if you'd skip one trip to the mall.
We'd spend a little less on electricity,
If you'd turn off the lights when you leave.
And we could save a lot on our laundry bills
If you'd watch where you put your sleeve.
You could bring in a little with a part time job,
all we ask is that you do your best.
If you earn a little here and save a little there,
we'll try to come up with the rest.
We can't stop the money from trickling out,
But we can control how it flows,
And we can start by being aware of where the money goes.
TAX MAN MAX
Music by Stephen Flaherty
Lyrics by Lynn Ahrens
Sung by Patrick Quinn
Deesigned by Phil Kimmelman
Animation by Phil Kimmelman Assoc.
MAX:
Welcome to the new variety, sit and relax,
I'm that song and dance phenomenon, Max!
Let me sing for you, do my thing for you,
'til they give me the axe.
Here's the song I'm doing gonna fill you in on tax!
Tax is that familiar melody, simple and true,
Hum it if you'd earned a dollar or two.
bucks are being spent by the government,
for whatever they do.
Anyone who earns a living gives more than a few.
So our schools can be their best,
So our roads will have no cracks,
Someone fix those train tracks!
I hear you calling uncle, and I'm paying my tax.
MAX: (Oh! These are my girls! Hello, girls!)
Girls: (Hello, Max! Nice outfit!)
Girls: There are many different ways that we pay what we owe,
MAX: ladies, if you'll form a lovely tableaux!
Girls: Income, property, sales, utility,
MAX: candy bars at my show!
Licences for dogs and cats and that's not all, you know!
Out of almost every dollar a person can make,
City, state, and federal governments take.
Girls: (What?)
What they think is fair, you give in your share,
now and then there's a break,
Max is talking taxes, hey have I kept you awake?
Girls:For the things your town may need,
for the things the country lacks,
all good things take greenbacks,
We hear you calling uncle and we're paying our tax.
People do complain, say their taxes are high,
what am I to get in return?
Look around you friend, Max is showing you why,
With our taxes in support, how we live and how we learn.
MAX: (Now here's the good news: many things are tax deductible,
which means
their cost can be subtracted from the amount of income you'll be
taxed on.
Things like medicine, doctor bills, and supplies for your work.
So keep those
receipts!)
(Be kind to your parents at tax time!.)
And remember April 15th! (April 15th)
Girls: What a showman you are Max!
Entertaining us with tax!
In those snazzy glad slacks!
MAX: (These slacks are for my business!)
(I tell you I'll deduct them!)
I hear you calling uncle and I'm paying my tax.
Girls: His tax,
Our Max!
MAX: (And I'm deducting my sax!)
Last Site Update: April 1, 2001