When school lets out I race right home.
I'm faster than the bus,
I just can't wait to see my friend,
Who's come to live with us.
He's quite unique this friend of mine,
Like none you've ever seen.
He's full of fancy circuitry,
Instead of fingers he has keys,
And where a normal face should be he's got a special screen.
Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips
They've got the answers at their fingertips
Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips
They've got the answers at their fingertips
Mr. Chips is quite a whiz, he works with lightning speed.
He gives me information and the answers that I need.
He's got a super memory, but I'm what makes him tick.
He's programmed so that he reacts when I feed him data .
Those are facts, he sorts them out and answers back.
You ought to see how quick.
Anything you can do with paper and pencil I can do faster.
Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips
They've got the answers at their fingertips
Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips
They've got the answers at their fingertips
OK Mr. Chips lets' show
These kids how much we know.
I type my questions on his keys to set my pal in motion.
Name the states that border on the great Pacific Ocean.
He's sure to have the answers
If the program all was right.
He searches on his data crew,
And feeds back names of four or two.
I knew I could depend on you.
Hey Chips, you're out of sight.
There's just no end to what we do
with Mr. Chips around
He helps me with my homework
so I really get it down.
He prints the checks that pay the bills,
He stores up dates and names,
He files facts, makes shopping lists,
He tells us birthdays not to miss,
And then on top of all of this he's great at playing games.
Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips
They've got the answers at their fingertips
Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips
They've got the answers at their fingertips
To have some fun or pass a quiz,
Just follow this computer whiz.
Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips
They've got the answers at their fingertips
Here I am and there you stand, such distance in between,
'Cause I an a human and you are a machine.
How can I communicate exactly what I mean,
When I am a human and you are a machine?
Parlez-vous francais?
Habla espanol?
I am a computer with so much in store,
If you could learn my language or I could speak in yours,
Then I'd do more work for you than you could ever dream.
Though you are a human and I am a machine.
OK., I'll give it a try.
First I hope you'll clear you mind and listen closely, Scooter,
Forget the words you thought you knew and start to think
computer.
Computers change the letters and numerals humans type
To a number code made up of things that we call bits and bytes.
Bits and bytes?
Think computer Scooter.
A byte is several digits all standing in a row,
They help present a letter or a number that you know.
For instance when you type an "A"
This byte is what I see,
and 00110011 is my way of saying "3"
This bit is one little bit of a byte.
I get it -- bits and bytes are sort of a computer's alphabet.
That's right, but ABC and 123's isn't talking.
Hey let's face it
That's why one language that we use is called computer BASIC.
Computer BASIC?
"Beginners All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code"
BASIC is a language that most computers know,
And once you start to speak it, communications flow.
You use words and phrases -- I use bits and bytes instead, and
BASIC lets us understand
what the other one just said. BASIC is a language that I can talk
in human and you can
talk in machine and we can understand each other.
Yes, BASIC is the language you'll be using to feed in my data.
It's also the language all my programs or software are written
in.
Data, programs, software?
Data is information.
Data means the facts.
It's everything you store in me
For solving problems back.
A program means directions
That tell me what to do,
How to analyze my data
And find answers just for you.
And software is just another name for
all the instructions of programs
that you feed me.
Here I am and there you stand, we're closer than we seem.
Though I am a human and you are a machine.
I'll get a book on BASIC and as quickly as I can
I will talk computer, and you will understand.
We didn't do to badly, did we Mr. Chips?
It was pretty amazing, Scooter.
I beat you this time Mr. Chips. You're really good at these video
games, but I can beat you sometimes.
Of course Scooter, because I'm no smarter than the person who
programs me. After all, I'm only hardware, just like nuts and
bolts.
Oh yeah, you're the smartest bag of nuts and bolts I've ever
seen.
Listen Scooter, some people assume that simply because a computer
can gobble up all kinds of numbers and facts and figures and
whatever data you happen to feed it,
Some people assume because a computer knows how to remember
instructions and data and whatever it's told, and deliver it back
whenever you need in as quick as a wink,
Some people assume a computer can think.
You mean you're not really so smart, Mr. Chips?
Right, Scooter, I'm not equipped to be smart.
I'm not equipped to think.
I'm equipped to use software and process information, not to
understand it.
What's software?
The instructions you decide to give me.
And how do you use software?
I use software with my hardware.
The terminal keyboard you touch when you want to say hi to me,
that's hardware,
My video screen when I want to reply to you, that's hardware too,
and this complicated equipment crammed inside of me, to tiny for
you to see, that's hardware, too.
Nothing but diodes, capacitors, and resistors, interconnections
and transistors, jammed together like canned sardines, thousands
of teeny, tiny machines, printed on microscopic strips called
chips.
Chips...So that's why they call you...
Precisely.
Gee, Mr. Chips, you have a great brain.
Brain, No Scooter, I have no brain.
Some people assume that simply because I can beat them at math,
and war games, and chess, and checkers, invaders and raiders, all
in the same afternoon,
Some people assume because I can shoot off a rocket and chart it
and clock it, control it and command it, and steer it and land
it, precisely there on the moon
It's hard to explain, but some people assume I have a brain.
OK, but if you don't have a brain, how can you do so many
different things?
Because of the different kinds of software people can feed me,
Scientists or secretaries; astronauts or accountants; managers or
musicians;
As long as it's put in a language I can understand,
I can store the directions in my chips.
I assure you I haven't a brain and I haven't a heart,
And my chips would feel no pain if you took me apart,
And I'll never know good from bad, or black from white,
And I'll never know happy from sad or wrong from right.
I'm nothing but diodes, capacitors, and resistors,
interconnections and transistors, jammed together like canned
sardines, thousands of teeny, tiny machines, printed on
microscopic strips called chips.
And it's all hardware just like nuts and bolts.
You're sure a smooth talker, Mr. Chips.
Maybe so, Scooter, but you're the brains of the operation.
Baseball's s'posed to be fun!
Can't wait to hit a home run,
But they've got me playing the wrong position
Since they made me the statistician.
I'm in numbers up to my ears!
This is gonna take me years and years
And years and years and years.
Mr. Chips: Numbers? Scooter, did you say numbers?
Scooter: Yes, numbers, Mr. Chips, Batting averages, earned
run averages, team standings...I can probably figure this stuff
out, but I'll miss batting practice.
Mr. Chips: Feed me those numbers. I'll do the work.
Scooter: You mean...
Mr. Chips: Precisely!
Sit down, Scooter, you're in for a treat.
Numbers, you see, are just my meat...
'Cause I'm a number cruncher
A mathematical muncher
I can round numbers off, I can square them
I can line numbers up and compare them
I can change them around, rearrange them around
I can deal with them in any way you choose.
I'm not a math professor,
I am a data processor.
I can mix numbers up and combine them,
I can take them apart and align them.
I can shake numbers up, I can break numbers up,
I can turn them into something you can use.
If you can punch them,
I can crunch them
'Cause I'm a number cruncher.
Scooter: Mr. Chips, you're amazing!
Mr. Chips: Elementary, Scooter, A piece of cake. Just feed
me the numbersand I'll process them for you.
Scooter: In other words, I punch them...
Mr. Chips: Precisely, and I crunch them.
I process numbers as quick as a flash
For whatever results you need.
I process numbers into measuring tools
To measure sound and time and speed
I process numbers to find just how fast
A rocket can get to Mars.
I project the future and recall the past,
And I can show you a map of the stars.
Scooter: Wow!
I process numbers into curves and lines,
Display them on a graph or chart.
I process numbers into colors and shapes
To make digital works of art!
...A work of art!
'Cause I'm a number cruncher
A mathematical muncher
I can round numbers off, I can square them
I can line numbers up and compare them
I can change them around, rearrange them around
I can deal with them in any way you choose.
I'm not a math professor,
I am a data processor.
I can mix numbers up and combine them,
I can take them apart and align them.
I can shake numbers up, I can break numbers up,
I can turn them into something you can use.
Scooter: My baseball statistics?
Mr. Chips: A piece of cake! But remember: First you have
to punch them...
Scooter: I know...then you can crunch them...
'Cause you're a number cruncher!!!
Mr. Chips: Precisely.
++It has been brought to my attention that there are two different credits given for these songs. Until I have time to check out who really is the correct singer, I am listing both names.
Last Site Update: October 13, 1998