Melrose Place
Episode #99 / Season #4
Title: "Melrose is Like a Box of Chocolates"
Original Air Date: Monday, September 18, 1995

Synopsis

[Melrose Place, morning]
Camera pans across courtyard, showing the vast destruction from the Kimberly bombings. Numerous construction workers wander about like worker bees for queen Amanda. All windows appear blown out and their openings are boarded up with plywood. However, when the scene shifts to the inside of Amanda's place (actually Sydney's) the morning sunlight is shining in as though the windows are all OK!!! Syd and Amanda in their apartment. Syd's in the shower, singing a song that is reminiscent of her days as a stripper. Unlike Syd, Amanda needs to get to work, but has to wait for Syd to belt out the third chorus of "Come and Get It Big Boy." Finally, Amanda can't stand it any longer and bursts into the bathroom. Amanda threatens to kick Syd out on the street if she doesn't start to obey Amanda's wishes. And although Syd is getting to live rent free, she still has to pay for utilities. Jo takes Matt in as a roommate, despite his tendencies for murder. Meanwhile, Jake hobbles to his front door (from where, who knows, who cares?) He sees Jo and Matt and invites them to the party he's organizing at Shooter's. All survivors are invited. Obviously, the ones who died wouldn't be able to come anyway. He sounds a little loco and wobbles like a weeble (but he don't fall down.) Matt questions what's behind Jake's strange demeanor. Jo replies, "I don't really know. Ever since he jumped off that building and landed on his head he hasn't been the same." "Well," Matt responds, "I guess there's only so much a guy can handle before he self-destructs. Maybe, he just doesn't like his haircut -- after all, it's hideous!!" Alison is living with Jane. Billy stops by to make sure Alison's all right, but Alison rebuffs him, saying she would rather be blind than see him with Brooke. He leaves but not before reiterating that he will always care for her. Jane loves the way Alison is playing her pity card with Billy. Jane has the breakfast table set for Alison, telling her that the oatmeal's at 12 o'clock, the orange juice at 3 o'clock, and the coffee at 9 o'clock.. Alison gasps, saying she'll starve by then! Jane announces her game plan for this season, namely, getting what she wants and trashing anyone in her way. She suggests that Alison do the same. So they plan to nail Amanda first so Alison can get her job back.

[Wilshire Memorial, Psycho Ward]
Peter Burns visits Kimberly in the psycho ward. She still can't accept the fact that she blew up MP, not to mention taking a life. She quotes Bones, screaming, "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a mad bomber!!" Peter looks at her as if she's nuts, and then consoles her by reminding her that she didn't really save many lives as a doctor, either. Then he recommends that she plead insanity. If she does, the grand jury will most likely let her off scot-free and she can go back to work at the hospital (Not on me, thanks!) She says she'd be crazy to admit she's crazy! That's the point, Kimmy. He tells her it's the only way to save herself and he'll do anything to help her.

[Golf Country Club]
Brooke meets with daddy dearest, Mr. Armstrong. Seems that when Brooke's mother died, she set up a trust fund for Brooke, but that Brooke could only get her hands on it after she got married. Daddy says her room back at the mansion is ready and waiting, but Brooke reassures him that she and Billy are delirious, yet happy at Melrose Place, probably from inhaling all the melted plastic that is still smoldering there. Daddy doesn't seem to like his new son-in-law.

[D&D Advertising]
Alison, led by her seeing-eye dog (or bitch, you take your pick) Jane, comes to see Amanda to demand her job back. Alison is met by Brooke who says she can't see Amanda without an appointment. "I couldn't SEE her even if I DID have an appointment! Get it Brooke?" Alison then pushes Brooke aside, using her arm to press against Brooke's breast, and continues to walk down the hall. Alison turns to Jane and says, "Boy, that felt good!" "Why, that's the same thing Billy always says!" replied Jane. Alison confronts Amanda demanding her job back. But Amanda feels totally responsible and has rethought her behavior towards certain individuals (gag), including Alison. She gives Alison her job back, allowing her to start immediately. Alison looks dumbfounded, anticipating a cat fight and not getting one. "Damn", she thinks, "now I'll have to work again!"

[Wilshire Memorial, cafeteria]
Dr. Calvin Hobbs (Chief of Staff), Dr. Peter Burns, and Dr. Michael Mancini are enjoying some nice vending machine food. Hobbs agrees to allow Peter to spend time with Kimberly as long as it doesn't interfere with his other work. Michael doesn't understand Peter's motives and the two of them start bickering. Matt then enters to give his leave of absence papers to Hobbs, but as he approaches he sees his ex-lover, Paul flirting with a candy striper. This enrages Matt to the point that he attacks Paul, punching him with a right cross. "Sure, my name may be Matt, but it doesn't mean you can walk all over me! I gonna keel you sucker!" Michael jumps in and pulls Matt away, telling him that no man's worth it!"

[MP, Syd & Amanda's apt]
Peter Burns drops in. They kick Syd out for awhile. Syd must've suffered brain damage because she seems to constantly give in to Amanda. Peter makes his speech about "people matter." He blames Michael, Sydney, himself, and Amanda for Kimberly's recent behavior. More guilt for Amanda. He claims he wants to help Kimberly, and one way to do that is for Amanda to drop the "stalking" charges she's filed against Kimberly. In fact, he begs her to drop the charges but Amanda, still upset that her imported "stockings" got a run in them from the explosion, denies Peter's request.

[Matt's lawyer's office]
Matt tries to explain the cafeteria scene to his lawyer, Lisa Barnett, telling her that he just couldn't stand seeing Paul smoozing with that playmate candy striper. Barnett says to spare her the gruesome details. She breaks the news that the incident hurt their case, and Matt laughs it off, thinking that things couldn't get worse. She continues by explaining that the police considered the tiff between him and Paul a lover's quarrel which reinforces their theory that Paul and Matt conspired to kill Paul's wife. She also reveals that Paul has been making trips to the police. He may admit his guilt and implicate Matt so that he would get off while Matt would take the rap. Matt gets so mad he wants to punch someone with that newly developed right cross he learned at the gym. He'll have his chance later in the episode.

[D&D Advertising]
Amanda gives Alison 50% of Brooke's accounts, along with the title of Sr. Ad Exec. Poor Brooke, she's only a Junior! Brooke can't believe that all the work the two of them did against Alison last season went to waste. When Brooke accuses Amanda of going soft, Amanda says rather she's growing up a bit and that Brooke ought to try it. So Brooke pouts.

[Mackenzie-Hart]
Jane is taking control, making radical changes to all the clothes designs of Mackenzie - Hart. Hart overhears what's going on and steps in. He can't believe she's trying to replace the designs of his newly departed wife, Mackenzie with her "inadequate" designs. She says fine, if he wants to bring back the bell bottom, then she's outta here. After all, she thinks her designs are "it." She has become rather brutal, eh? Richard, realizing her head has expanded 10 times its size due to her inflated ego, dares her to walk out the door. Unfortunately, despite her big head, she manages to fit, as Richard had forgotten that the entrance had double doors! As she storms out, a devilish grin blossoms on that little face of hers. She knows she's in control. Lessons from Syd seem to be paying off. Editor's note: Jane's skirt length has gotten as short as her hair USED to be!

[Mid-Wilshire Professional Building]
Peter and Michael check out a very nice office to start their partnership practice. Of course, their conversation turns to Kimberly. He tells Michael that he'll only be his partner if Michael refrains from divorcing Kimberly. Michael agrees.

[Wilshire Memorial, Psycho ward]
Kimberly is undergoing psycho-analysis in order to determine whether she is fit to stand trial. She asks for a pencil so she can draw her own ink blots and the foolish doctor gives her a nice sharp one. Then he places his hand, palm down on the desk in front of her, as if it's a piece of paper or something. So she takes the pencil and plunges it into his hand, blood splattering everywhere. Guess she changed her mind and decided to make blood blots instead. She runs out of the room onto the hospital roof, and is about to jump, but Peter comes to the rescue and talks her down by telling her he loves her. She's wearing an ugly yellow gown with turquoise green booties, definitely clashing with that red hair of hers. If she saw what she looked liked in a mirror, she probably would have jumped! Instead, she falls back into his awaiting arms.

[D&D Advertising]
Amanda, Billy, Brooke, and Alison. in an ad campaign meeting. Alison has the floor, but before she can say anything, she has to go to the bathroom. Everyone moans, and Amanda gives everyone a 10 minute break. But it'll take Alison longer than that just to "feel" her way to the restroom. So Amanda assigns Brooke to be her eyes. Brooke breaks down and starts crying uncontrollably, thinking Amanda asked her to donate her eyes to Alison. She just can't do it, and quits instead. Besides, Brooke doesn't really need to work since she'll soon be getting the money from her trust fund.

[Brooke's Daddy's House]
Brooke runs to daddy's. The lawyer is there to present her with the money. Just then, Billy arrives. Seems the old man called him up, even though Brooke had been trying to keep the trust fund a secret from her new husband. The lawyer explains that the money is to be given to her over the course of 10 years. Brooke anxiously opens the envelope containing the first payment--it's a check for only $10,000. She is bummed. Billy is pissed. Daddy is smiling. Billy leaves. Lesson learned: Marriage is based on trust, NOT trust fund.

[Richard Hart's House]
Jane shows up and says, even though he was out of line, she's come over because he means so much to her. He tries to explain to her the connection he and Mackenzie felt; that he never felt that way until Jane came into his life. Sucker!

[Shooters]
Survivors' party is finally here. Jo and Matt; Amanda and Jake; Jane and Brooke and Billy; Michael; blah blah blah. Sydney ends her shift and tries to leave, but Jake acts like a jerk trying to force her to drink with him. She rebuffs him so he tries to fire her, but quits first and leaves. She can't stand watching her friend self-destruct. So then he approaches Jo, and tries to strong arm her into dancing with him. This gets Matt's blood pumping again, it's his chance, so he rushes over and punches Jake with his infamous right cross. Twice! Again, people have to restrain Matt as Jake slips into the back office.

[Mid-Wilshire Professional Building]
Michael is interviewing beautiful women for a receptionist position. Peter tells him to get someone they both can't stand so that they'll actually spend all their time with patients rather than trying to seduce a sizzling secretary. Just then, Syd stops by and reminds Michael that she's out of a job. Michael hires her on the spot.

[D&D Advertising]
Brooke crawls back to Amanda on her hands and knees to get her job back. Since Amanda's grown so soft, she gives Brooke a job as Alison's assistant.

[Wilshire Memorial]
The psychiatrist with a pencil as a sixth digit reports that Kimberly is sane enough to stand trial. Peter disagrees and manages to convince Dr. Calvin Hobbs to bring in another quack for a second opinion.

[MP, evening]
Jake knocks on Jo's door. He apologizes and tells her how he needs her. She accepts and admits she needs him, too. Billy drops by Alison's with some Chinese food. He finds Alison naked in the bathroom on the floor so he helps her up, but is stricken with the beauty of all the scabs on Alison's body from the explosion. He gets this uncontrollable urge to pick but just then Jane comes home. Billy slips out stammering. Jane realizes the perfect set-up Alison concocted and the two of them laugh as they high-five each other.

[Armstrong mansion]
Brooke goes to daddy for a loan. He writes her a check for $100,000. Dangling it in front of her like a carrot, he tells her that she can't cash it until she files for divorce!
[To Be Continued...]

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Last Modified November 07, 1995