Melrose Place
Episode #103 / Season #4
Title: "The Jane Mutiny"
Original Air Date: Monday, October 09, 1995

Synopsis

[State Mental Hospital]
Peter brings Kimberly a gift. It's a flower-print dress. "Oh, thaaanks a lot, Peter. This dress is almost as ugly as the blue smock I'm wearing. I'm sure glad even if I get all dressed up I have no place to go!!" But Peter surprises her, informing her that the review board has granted her her release as long as she moves in with him. She'll be classified as an outpatient to the State Mental Hospital. She'll have daily sessions with him to start. At this point, the guard tries to strap a "monitor" around her wrist. "It's part of her probation." Peter explains. She can only go from his office to his house to the Mental Hospital. "Think of it as protection." Peter adds. "Not only will police be unable accuse you of being somewhere you haven't been, but its high pitched electronic sound is guaranteed to repel fleas. And its designer black high-impact plastic case goes well with most outfits." But a nylon strap? I'm sure no one will ever try to cut that thing off.

[MP, daytime]
The construction work has ended, even though the units still need paint and appliances delivered. But the contractor refuses to finish until he receives final payment. Seems that the insurance company under-valued the damages so Amanda has been paying the balance out of her own pocket. She's a little strapped for cash so she can't pay yet. The contractor tells her not to worry because the construction crew saved money by not using nails and demonstrates by pulling off some trim using his kung-fu grip. Still, he won't finish the rest of the shoddy work until he gets paid.

[Gay & Lesbian Coalition]
Matt has been subpoenaed by Hobbs. Tom, the lawyer dude, assures him that counter-suits are typical. "Walk this way," Tom says, and sways out to the parking lot with one hand on his hip, Matt in tow. The coalition is confident they'll win because they have Michael Mancini on their side. This only makes Matt more nervous and he vocalizes his feeling to Tom. "I'm simply afraid to go to court again and have to be the defendant. That would already be twice this season!" So Tom comes up with an alternate plan regarding Dr. Hobbs: "If we nail the bastard during his deposition we'll catch him off-guard." Matt, however, doesn't see how sex will clear any of this up.

[D&D Advertising]
Staff sitting at roundtable meeting. Amanda is running the show; Alison explains how she's become the consummate employee. She credits regaining her eyesight but we know it's because she lost Billy to Brooke; Billy talks endlessly about his recent membership into the vertebrate family; the rest of the staff remains silent the way they do every episode. Then Amanda asks Brooke how it's going in Vice-President land. [Unfortunately, at this point someone in my town must've been having a session of electro-shock therapy because I experienced an electrical outage which lasted a few minutes!! When the power returned, Brooke was just finishing her weekly status...] Brooke says she'll get Armstrong Limited as a client. Amanda states, "I've never been a fan of nepotism, at least that's what I learned at my daddy's company while I was there as vice-president."

[Hart Mancini Designs]
Richard presents Jo with a gift in appreciation for her risking her friendship with Jane in order to put in a good word for him. But she changes her tune from the previous episode, now saying he doesn't HAVE to rush into marriage. He says it's too late because they've already planned an engagement party. He's so happy that as he leaves, he skips down the hall humming, "Zippity Do Dah." Jo immediately confronts Jane about her feelings towards Richard. "It's a different kinds of love -- we're no Romeo and Juliet!" "Au contraire," mumbles Jo to herself, "their relationship is poisoned from the start."

[D&D Advertising]
Amanda and Jack and their respective lawyers, Walter and Nick, are discussing the divorce settlement. Amanda waves all rights to the community property, including that hideous black velvet florescent Tijuana portrait of herself (although it comes alive under a black light!) All she wants is the box containing her daddy's stuffed teddy bear. There is one problem, however, regarding the life insurance policy taken out on Amanda. The insurance company has already paid Jack a sizable payoff, and since Amanda is alive SHE'LL probably be arrested for fraud. Hey, it wasn't his fault that he readily took the insurance money and won't return it now. But as a gesture of goodwill, maybe he can twist a few arms to keep them from pressing charges against her. What a guy!

[Wilshire Memorial]
Deposition time. Dr. Hobbs starts to feel intimidated and freaks out. Pretty soon, the only word coming out of his mouth is, "Fagmatt, Fagmatt, Fagmatt." Hobbs' lawyer throws in the towel. Matt says, "This is so sad." "Why?" Tom asks. "Because this script is pitiful!" Matt realizes, and he breaks down and cries.

[D&D Advertising]
Brooke confronts Alison regarding the flowers and vodka shooters that her father keeps sending. Brooke realizes Alison might become her new mommy dearest, so she feels they should bury the hatchet WHILE it is still in Alison's back. "Won't you pull it out of my back first?" Alison asks. "But that wouldn't be any fun." Brooke pouts. Peter shows up to see Amanda, offering her a loan to cover expenses for the apt complex. Then he spots the Italian stallion waiting for Amanda and leaves. Jack brings Amanda the box that her daddy's teddy bear was in. "You idiot!" exclaims Amanda, "I wanted the stuffed animal, not the box!" Jack can't believe how good Amanda looks since his only recollection is from her days in TJ Hooker.

[Peter's Home]
Kimberly is cooking dinner while wearing that flowery dress, the ONLY outfit she owns! She's also wearing that wrist bracelet that looks bigger than a TV remote control. She really wants to "thank" Peter, especially since she hasn't banged anybody since banging everybody. But he straightens her out, saying, "Staying here isn't about them, but about her getting better." The doorbell sounds but Kimberly picks up the phone saying, "Hello? Hello? WHO IS THIS?!?" Sydney shows up for her weekly 5-minute stint, saying, "You may have fooled them, but I know you're still a murdering mutant freak." For some reason, this bums out Kimberly. "I'm so confused!" she says. Jack tries to comfort her by explaining that the telephone 'rings' while the doorbell 'dings'."

[Mancini Burns Medical Office, Mid-Wilshire Professional Building]
Syd fills in Michael regarding Kimberly's release; her newfound residence at Peter's; the weird gizmo thing on her wrist; etc. Peter enters and interrupts them. When Michael protests Peter's activities, Peter tells him to stay away, then turns and entrusts Sydney with Kimberly's 10-LB case file.

[D&D Advertising]
Brooke has been so busy doing nothing that she hadn't looked up the definition of nepotism yet, and is on the spot regarding landing the Armstrong LTD account. Fortunately, Hayley stops by to make a deal for two new divisions for his company, sports gear and jewelry. He wants an experienced rep so that nothing slips through the cracks. He wants Alison. Wants her bad! For starters, he wants her to walk him out. This makes Brooke livid. She goes to Amanda for support but gets a, "Thanks for bringing back my old husband, Brooke!"

[MP, Night]
Contractor is actually finishing up. Someone paid him. Amanda thinks it was Peter so she calls him to bite his head off but Peter admits he didn't have anything to do with it. But since she called, he tries to ask her out for a drink, Kimberly listening in the background. So Amanda is stumped; she can't figure who would've done something like this. "Who would want her to be in their debt?" Duh, even Billy can figure this one out. "How about Jack?" he brainstorms.

[Shooters]
Jo is hanging out at the bar. Shelly, waitressing, comes over to make sure Jo knows just how tired she looks. Shelly claims she's trying to be civil, but Jo says why would she discuss her personal problems with someone who NEVER wears anything that covers her belly button. Besides, she'd rather discuss it with her he-man Jake. Just then, Jake comes over. Jo concedes, "I've just been watching two people I really cares about do really stupid things."
Jake says, "You mean Billy and Brooke? I know what you mean. Billy is so STUPID letting Brooke control his life. In fact, letting all those women control his life. Meanwhile, Brooke is so STUPID she doesn't even know what nepotism means."
"No, not them." replies Jo.
"Oh, you mean Michael and Sydney? I know where you're coming from, Jo. Michael is so STUPID thinking he can get the chief-of-staff position by testifying against Dr. Hobbs in that discrimination case. And Sydney is so STUPID thinking she can advance her career by spying for Michael and Peter. And on top of that, their plan to hire a starving actor to dress up like Henry and haunt Kimberly in order to drive her back to the nut house -- man, now that is STUPID!"
"No, not them!" Jo is beginning to get impatient.
"Oh, then you must mean Matt and Tom? Yeah, Matt is so STUPID. He won his case, and can either be reinstated at the hospital or accept a cash settlement of $50,000. But he still has to 'think' about it. All he wants is for Dr. Hobbs to be cured of his homophobia. Man, he should take the money and run! And Tom is so STUPID thinking Matt will be his next lover. Jeesh!"
"No, Jake, not them either."
"Oh, well it must be Amanda and Jack. I mean, Amanda is so STUPID. If she really wanted escape from Jack, why would she change her name back to Woodward, move near the beach, and start working at an advertising firm? And talk about STUPID, that Jack character is something else. Took him five years to figure out she was alive? Duh!"
"No! Not Amanda and Jack!"
"Then you must be talking about Alison and Hayley. Alison is so STUPID, first thinking she could feign her blindness to get Billy, and now trying to use Hayley to get back at Brooke and to get Billy back. And that old fart, Hayley, is so STUPID trying to win the favor and flavor of Alison, thinking that will break up Billy and Brooke."
"NOOOO!"
"Oh, man, you're not talking about me and Shelly are you? Sure, I melt whenever I see that tube-top look of the '70s, but does that make me STUPID? Regarding belly buttons, you know I love 'innies' and she has an 'inny' while you have an 'outty.' And sure, just looking at Shelly gives you the impression she's STUPID."
"No, no, no!! I'm talking about Jane and Richard!" Jo screams.
"Oh, I didn't know you considered them your friends." says Jake. So Jo proceeds to tell Jake about the loveless relationship Jane and Richard have. Jake, reverting back to his bartender habits, readily offers his opinion: "I would tell them the truth. After all, what's the worst that can happen? It's not like they'll break up over something as trivial as love!"

[Engagement Party]
The engagement party is taking place at the same hotel that "90210" has all of their parties. Syd crashes the party with Michael. The D&D clique is there and Amanda toasts Alison for "getting" Hayley. Alison simply smiles while Brooke resumes her tirade, suggesting, "What did daddy mean by 'more experienced'. I can and probably did already, anything Alison can do with him." Jane says she can't get over all the fashion connections that she'll marry into when she marries Richard. Jo is drunk again. She tells Jane not to rush into this marriage thing. Jane tells Jo to get lost, and that her worst fear is that her relationship would turn out like Jo's have in the past. Jane tells Jo to get lost. Richard sees what happened and rushes over to see if Jo is all right. So Jo decides to take Jake's advice and tells Richard the truth, that Jane doesn't love him. Later, while Jane and Richard check out the honeymoon suite, Richard confronts her about Jo's statement. Jane tries to sidestep the issue, but Richard sees through her and leaves!

[Certified National Bank]
Amanda shows Billy the contents of her safe deposit box. (So why did she leave all that stuff in her office for Brooke to find?) Since Jack is back, she wants Billy to see what he's all about. She shows him a bunch of Polaroids, telling him that she used to get beat up by Jack. "Oh, then that explains the black eyes in all the photos!" says Billy. She gives Billy a key. If anything happens, then Billy is to take the stuff to police.

[D&D Advertising]
Billy and Alison going over demographics of the sports line. She gets phone call. Late for appointment with Hayley, he's waiting out front. Billy notes that she used to hate Hayley, but now she's using him to get at Billy and Brooke as part of that dark, anti-Brooke conspiracy. Brooke enters but is greeted coldly by Alison and Hayley. She's so upset. Billy doesn't care, but is worried that her obsession is going to do more damage to their relationship than Alison and Hayley could ever do. "Don't go Billy. I need you to do me now, I want you here." "No, you want your father. (Sick, Billy, sick!) You had Hayley wrapped around your finger for years, and now that he's gone you want me to take his place. I won't do that. I got Alison out of my life, now it's time for you to get Hayley out of yours." Billy grows a backbone, although it may be one of those strap-on models.

[MP, Amanda's]
Jack stops by. "Nice place. So, where's the fire." Oh, he's so witty! She asks him why he paid off her contractor. He said since she didn't take any of the divorce settlement, that he thought he would give her a little present. He says he still cares about her. As he leaves he says, "I thought we'd get along so well. It's not over Amanda." Then he leaves and the episode is over!!! Just goes to show you he's a liar.
[To Be Continued...]

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Last Modified November 07, 1995