Melrose Place
Episode #116 / Season #4
Title: "The Bobby Trap"
Original Air Date: Monday, January 22, 1996

Synopsis

[MP, Jane's Apartment]
Morning breaks, as we find Jake sprawled out on the sofa. But he's used to it, since he spent many a night in that position, drying-out during those alcoholic-laden, Jess-mourning days. Jane was in her bedroom, doing a little *drying out* of her own after her swim in the surf the night before. She limps out to the kitchen in a most Quasimodo-like fashion, fittingly playing the hunchbacked Melrose Dame. Jake offers her coffee, but instead she asks for O.J., the writers working in yet another reference to the infamous jealous lover-killer murder trial. When Jane thanks Jake for saving her life, he trivializes her importance in the world by saying, "It was nothing." Jane realizes that although she almost died last night, it wasn't really Sydney's fault. When Jake says, "No, she only left you out there to drown," Jane justifies Syd's actions by saying, "She just couldn't stand being my caretaker." Yeah, right. Is it possible Jane swallowed a little too much salt water? Their conversation is interrupted when Alison knocks on the door. "Jake? Hi! I heard Jane's back," she says as she enters. (I've heard about paper-thin walls, but this is ridiculous!) As Alison welcomes Jane back, there's another knock at the door -- this time it's Sydney with some flowers for her big sis. Jake welcomes her by saying, "Well, if it isn't the fox. Welcome to the hen house." (For the record, yes, he still calls his women "chicks.") Jane invites Sydney in, who came to apologize for the ocean incident. Alison, confused as usual, asks what all the fuss is about, so Jake proceeds to explain that Syd wanted to "get lucky," so she threw her crippled sister in the ocean. Sydney, a bit embarrassed, blurts out, "Oh, I forgot. I'm being judged by perfect Jake. The white knight with the IQ of a rock!" Jane asks that Jake and Syd keep their bickering to their real-life affair. Alison walks Syd out. Jane gives Jerk the "You Jake" look and shakes her head.

[Bobby's Mansion]
Amanda and Bobby awake in his California king. Amanda demands, "Big lunkhead, how about a kiss!" But before the *missing link* has a chance to understand her, he gets a phone call from David Groh playing Don Vince Parezi playing Marlon Brando playing Don Vito Carleone. We'll call him Don Papa for short. So anyway, Don Papa says, "Bobby, I wanna make you an offer you can't refuse." "Aw, shut up papa!" Bobby replies. Don Papa continues, "Seriously, things haven't gone like I planned. Now I would like you to come to Miami for a talk. You haven't *done her* yet, have you?" Bobby answers, "Duh, we have nuttin' to tawk about. And Ah'm not one to kiss 'n tell, but Ah wuz so impwessive in bed that she cut mah hair last episode!" Don Papa exclaims, "Aha! So if Amanda Parezi is still alive, we have a lot to talk about!" Bobby tells Don Papa that he can't discuss matters now and hangs up. He immediately jumps out of bed, much to Amanda's dismay. Even though she sits up and begs, Bobby tells her, "I don't have time to waste lying around." He refuses to let her in on what exactly is going on, playing what he does best, namely, the "dumb, silent type."

[Wilshire Memorial Hospital, Kimberly's Office]
Sydney is spouting to Kimberly, "I can't believe this. Now everybody is blaming me about one little slip up at the beach house. Pretty soon, the entire bunch of self-righteous losers will know that I did the pills, and I will be drawn and quartered on the steps of city hall. I can't believe you talked me into this whole mess." Kimberly tells Syd to calm down, that no one even cares about the pills anymore (after all, that was several episodes ago!), and that she did not talk Sydney into anything, but that it is the "deep-seeded hostility" towards Jane that is the root of Syd's problem. Kimberly cites a reference from one of Sydney's previous "sessions" saying, "God, I'd be so much better if Jane had just died." At this point, Sydney realizes that Kimberly's notes are very selective and that Kimberly must be setting her up to get her thrown in jail. Sydney runs out with Kimberly in tow, telling her that she's trying to help her and to trust her. Syd comes back with the line, "I'd trust a rabid dog first!" Michael witnesses this exchange, and asks Kimberly what's going on, but she is more interested in getting, as she puts it, a cup of "coe-feee," with Michael. He asks why she is being so nice to him and she explains she can't help thinking he's kind of cute. Michael returns the complement by telling her she looks like crap. She admits she's been burning the candle at both ends (even though Syd's her only patient?), so he offers to give her a B-12 supplement in one of her ends, anytime she wants it.

[D&D Advertising]
Brooke stops by Billy's little cubicle. Deep down, some of Billy's resentment must stem from the fact that he is cooped-up in a 5x5 foot space while his wife has a beautiful office. Brooke wants the two of them to see a marriage counselor, but Billy refuses. So Brooke starts to say, "If I ever meant anything to you..." but before she can continue, Billy interrupts with, "You never did!" He has a hard time with this line, however, and almost starts laughing, driving Brooke to one of her patented eyebrow scrunches. Dejected, she turns and beelines for the Brooke-cave but is intercepted by Alison, the Girl-Wonder. "Is everything okay, Brooke?" she wonders. Brooke readily pours out her soul -- to *Alison* of all people -- confirming our suspicions of just how desperate Brooke really is. Amanda, passing by Brooke's office, notices that things are a little too chummy with those two so she busts in and scolds them for NOT WORKING. The first thing she does is bark at Brooke, "Get cleaned up, you look like a wreck!" So Brooke acts like a wreck and goes crying to the ladies executive washroom. Alison, feeling sorry for Brooke, tries to chink Amanda's armor by saying, "What's your problem, Amanda? Are you still livid about losing the Golden Globe award to *Dr.* Quinn, Medicine Woman? You just don't seem to have much luck with TV doctors, do you? Dr. Mancini, Dr. Burns, now Dr. Quinn!" But before Amanda has a chance to bite back, she gets a phone call on line two from Bobby. "I'd get on my knees to apologize, but you know what that leads to." Of course, I guess it's okay for Amanda to NOT WORK, and gab on the phone instead!

[Bobby's Office]
Alycia informs Bobby that the entire cable company is on hold, stumbling through her lines that have "cable TV techno terminology" in them. She says the one legislator who can help is waiting for his $100k contribution, but Bobby refuses to pay such a "bribe." "We do it by the book." (Must be his New Year's resolution.) Peter drops in; says he and some other physician friends have mucho extra venture capital and would like to invest in Bobby's cable co. Bobby says he doesn't do business with people he doesn't trust. Peter leaves his business card with Alycia anyway. "Alycia -- Call Me" is handwritten on the back. Alycia smiles, yet looks puzzled, as if thinking "I wonder what I should call him?"

[MP, Jane's Apartment]
Jo pleads with Jane to help Richard out of a jam. Richard has a meeting with John Marshall, their biggest distributor, and he's expecting to see Jane there. If she's not, no deal, and Richard's lines will end up sitting on the rack. Jo's piece de resistance occurs when she says, "After all, he did help you by pulling you into his company in the first place." Jane says the way she looks at it, she helped him by bringing in "...a hell of a lot of good ideas. And you two worked very hard to get me out of the company, and you won." So she declines Jo's request for help, adding "Payback's a bitch."

[MP, Jake's Apartment]
When Alison goes to see Billy to talk about Brooke, he says "Ah, this calls for a beer -- you want a soda?" (Since when is a soda a beer?) Alison asks that he appease Brooke by going to see the marriage counselor. Then they each give their description of Brooke- Billy's: "The girl's a manipulative misery machine"; Alison's: "You just see her as the enemy. Look past that to the frightened little girl in her eyes." (I liked Billy's description better.) Alison then quotes Billy, saying "You once taught me to reach past your hurt and touch another human being." With that, smug-faced Billy reaches past and attempts to caress Alison's shoulder. Alison is disgusted and leaves.

[Hart & Mancini Designs]
In order to get John Marshall to meet with him, Richard confesses to Jo that he lied to Marshall telling him Jane would be there. When Jo hears this, she suggests, "I could've worn a blonde wig and stuffed my bra." No, Jo, you would've had to stick your head in a lawn mower and then dip your head in peroxide! John Marshall arrives, followed by a little reporter from Fashion Days magazine, wondering where Jane and her wonderful designs are. Richard chokes and spews, but before he admits his devious underhandedness, Jane *rolls* in to the rescue.

[Emery Studios]
Matt arrives at the set to watch Alan in rehearsal. Moments later, Alan engages in the wettest kiss shown on Melrose Place this season! Unfortunately for Matt, it's with Alan's female co-star. Matt's jaw drops either out of shock or jealousy -- after all, if he's lucky, all Matt ever gets to do is hold Alan's hand! Matt is also upset because Alan introduces him to Gloria, the producer, as his "friend." Matt asks Alan why he's hiding his homosexuality, and Alan tries to defend himself saying it's the Aaron Spelling way. Matt finally realizes what we've known all along -- Alan Ross "stinks!"

[Burns-Mancini-Mancini-Burns Medical Office]
Sydney is talking to Michael about how Kimberly has returned to her old self -- clever and conniving -- and in fact, is more dangerous than before. "What she's really after is to destroy us all!" Then Sydney lets it slip about the Jane incident #1 (read *pills*) and her involvement. But the best part of this scene is watching Sydney slop together and chomp on a peanut butter and mayonnaise bagel. Sydney tries to talk Michael into letting her move back in.

[Hart & Mancini Designs]
A deal is cut with John Marshall. He loves her work. Jane tries to convince him that Richard was instrumental with the design, but Marshall says, "Let's get real. I wouldn't trust Richard with a design board any more than I would trust you with a factory invoice." (I guess he does know Jane's ineptitude regarding finances.) Richard wants to sweep everything under the carpet and start fresh with Jane, but she says that things just aren't the same, that Jo and Richard have some things to discuss first.

[D&D Advertising]
Staff meeting. The first thing you notice is that Brooke is sitting so close to Billy that she's almost in his lap. Amanda chastises Brooke for not doing any work, so Brooke suggests that maybe Billy can help her but he balks. Bobby stops by and interrupts their meeting to recommend that he and Amanda go on a trip to relax. "Why don't you hit me with a club and drag me away by the hair." Then there is Alison, everybody's goodie-two-shoes. First, she volunteers to assist Brooke since Brooke doesn't really know how to work. Then, she tells Amanda she can cover for her so that Amanda and Bobby can take that long weekend.

[Burns-Mancini-Mancini-Burns Medical Office]
Peter gets a call from Alycia Barnett. She wants to know what his game is. Peter says to her, "I'm an open book, counselor." Whatever. They schedule a lunch meeting.

[Wilshire Memorial Hospital]
Kimberly comes in for her B-12 booster, asking for it in the rear, exactly what Michael had intended anyway. But Michael gives her a truth serum instead. He asks her who put the phenobarbital in Jane's drink, and she replies "Sydney., but just because she's jealous of her sister. Then Michael tries to verify that she's not out to get him, to which she replies in her most whimpering voice, "I'm so angry at you for doing this to me. But I could never hurt you again. I love you, I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul." He seems a little surprised, as she reaches forward and hugs him.

[Wilshire Memorial Hospital]
Matt is drooling over manila folders containing cardiac charts, when he is approached by his replacement in social services, David Ericcson. He admits he was proud of the way Matt handled homophobic Hobbs, and how it makes life more comfortable there now. He admits he's completely gay, completely open, completely proud -- just don't tell anyone. Yeah, and just where was he when Matt needed some anti-Hobbs support. Anyway, he asks Matt out for a drink and some advice regarding some bureaucratic hogwash.

[Wilshire Memorial Hospital, Kimberly's Office]
Sydney storms in demanding her case files. She wants to report Kimberly to the head of the hospital to have Kimberly thrown out for breach of patient-doctor confidentiality. She can't believe Kimberly spilled the beans, or should I say, pills, to Michael. "You're not only a quack, you're stupid." Sydney opens Kimberly's file cabinet looking for her case notes, but can't find them. Considering that Sydney is Kimberly's *only* patient, you'd think the files would be fairly easy to find! Still, Sydney leaves empty-handed. Since Kimberly feels *partly* responsible for Sydney getting kicked out of the beach house, she invites Syd to stay at her apt (which just happens to be Sydney's old apartment anyway.)

[D&D Advertising]
Pretty funny scene as is: Brooke and Alison are hanging out in Alison's little 5x5 foot cubicle. Brooke is served divorce papers. Moments before, she was all giddy and happy, thinking maybe the envelope contained some of daddy's money that happened to have washed up on the shores of Mexico or somewhere.

[Overcast Beach]
Amanda is having fun throwing stones. Bobby has become the silent type, something that really pleases my ears. Then Amanda ruins the scene by asking him what's wrong. He says he feels guilty for stealing her away from another man, not to mention all the harm his family has done to her. She says, "I just want you to be happy and to love me. Do you think you can do that?" Even though he's never been able to do two things at once, like chew gum and walk, he promises he'll give it a try.

[MP, Billy & Brooke's (but not for long) Apartment]
Thunder thighs crashes through the Melrose gates to confront Billy about the divorce, only to find her suitcases packed and waiting for her on the front porch. When Billy says, "Good-bye," Brooke whimpers, "Good-bye? Good-bye, where am I supposed to go? Billy, you promised, 'Till death do us part!" You almost forget everything she's done and start to feel sorry for her, just like Alison does (Oh my God, what am I saying?) Billy tells her she can go stay with one of her "rich friends" and then shuts that green door in her face, hoping she's one of the two characters mentioned at the end of this episode! That way, he can keep his promise to her.

[Wilshire Memorial Hospital]
Michael runs over to Kimberly, telling her now that Syd is out of the picture, she can move in with the man she truly loves. Kimberly goes on a tirade regarding Michael's lack of ethics, to which he responds, "Whoa, that's a lot of adjectives for a guy." Kimberly says she can never trust him again and rejects the invite. "So I slipped you a mickey. It was harmless." "No it wasn't. You killed the trust as thoughtlessly as you would kill a patient, I mean fly. Never again, Mancini!"

[MP, Swimming Pool]
Jane is swimming around the pool, wearing a yellow cap, oh wait, that's her hair, and an ugly one-piece blue suit that she must have designed back when she could only draw by sticking a pencil in her mouth. Jake arrives, they engage in a few seconds of small talk, then she yanks him into the pool and almost drowns him. The physical therapy really did wonders to her biceps as she drags Jake around the overly chlorinated water, kissing and hugging him. Poor Pool Boy, now he's going to have to clean the pool again so soon.

[Hart & Mancini Designs]
Jane hobbles in using a cane. She must be pretty dedicated to come in on a Saturday. Richard is happy for her, seeing her almost walking. Jo comes out and says something along the same lines. Everybody is so sweet you could get a cavity just listening. But, Jane surprises them, saying "I've had a change in *Hart*. You guys are on your own and so am I." Of course, now we can expect another round of battle between these three...

[Streets of Venice Beach, Lunchtime]
Peter and Alycia have just finished lunch. He has unsuccessfully attempted to get information about Bobby from her, under the pretense of business research for his investors. She informs him that Bobby isn't interested so they'll have to talk about something else. She wants to know what he's really after, so he admits, "I think we can find a way to benefit each other, on a number of levels." Yawn. This sure seems like one of those "Been there, done that" storylines with Peter and Executrix Caitlin Mills (Jasmine Guy).

[Hotel Restaurant Patio, Evening]
Bobby and Amanda's dinner is interrupted by the delivery of a note by the maitre-d'. Immediately upon reading the note Bobby says to Amanda, "Stay!" and then leaves the table. The waiter returns and asks Amanda if she would care for dessert, to which Amanda replies, "I don't eat dessert , and I don't stay on command." Like a typical dog, Amanda has to start sniffing around. But before she goes, the waiter gives her some prudent advice, saying "Just remember what Clemenza said in the movie The Godfather: 'Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.'" She looks at him as if he himself is a cannoli, then finds the maitre-d' who informs her that Bobby went up to his room with some gentleman.

[Bobby Parezi's Room]
Amanda goes up to their hotel room. She flings the door open and strolls in, calling out for Bobby, only to be surprised by visitors. They sit Amanda down in a nearby chair, as Don Papa (you know, Bobby's father, Don *Vince* Parezi, an ex-*con*) holds a gun up to his own son Bobby's head in an attempt to *con-Vince* him that Amanda must die here and now (Good time for that Aimee Mann song.) Don Papa yells some crap about how he's Groh-ssed out just thinking about Bobby boinking Amanda, especially when she's the one who killed Jack. But he gives Bobby a chance to redeem himself. Don Papa says he's going to kill one of them, but he's going to let Bobby decide who will live. "Is it going to be you, or the woman who murdered your brother?" Little did Amanda know, that had she taken the waiter's advice and ordered a cannoli for dessert, she might have been able to use it now to lure the gun away from Don Vince Parezi! Instead, the previews promise us two characters will die in the next episode!
[To Be Continued...]

The MelroseTV Home Page

Melrose Place TV (MelroseTV@aol.com)

Last Modified January 23, 1996