Melrose Place
Episode #126 / Season #4
Title: "True Fibs"
Original Air Date: Monday, April 15, 1996


Synopsis

[Wilshire Memorial]
Michael storms into the Doctor's Change Room looking for Peter. "What the hell is going on around here?" he asks. Granted, it's been quite awhile since Dr. Mancini paid a visit to the hospital, but DUH! What does he think goes on at a hospital, anyway? That's the sort of question you'd expect from spaced-out Kimberly, not Michael. Peter replies that he's been charged with a lawsuit for "unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor, otherwise known as Miss Tarzana." Michael gulps, knowing full well he wasn't ordering a drink when he last had "Sex On The Beach." But he breathes a sigh of relief when Peter explains, that although a witness saw Brandi and some other guy "body surfing" in the sand, for some reason the witness focused on Brandi and didn't get a good look at the guy. But what witness did see was just enough to give credence to Brandi's lunatic mother's allegations. Michael, apparently off the hook, now offers his full support to Peter, who shows his appreciation with a big Matt-style hug. Nurse Amy enters and catches them embracing. By the look on her face, she must be getting tired of all the male hugging going on around the hospital these days -- Matt, David, Alan, now Michael and Peter -- so she breaks them up by saying, "Ah-hem, Dr. Mancini," then adding, "You have a call." Peter leaves as Michael says to him, "Hey, your problems are my problems, bud," discovering seconds later how true this really is. For when picks up the phone, Brandi is on the other end, saying how she liked him and apologizing for what her mom is up to. Michael demands she drop the charges, but by now Teri Carson has grabbed the phone away from her daughter. Michael threatens to go to the police, but she blackmails him by reading the inscription from his wedding ring, "Michael and Kimberly forever," which she is carrying around in her cleavage. Excuse me, but in her heyday, that valley between her breasts was known as Hollywood's Grand Canyon. She'd have a hard time holding a napkin ring, let alone a wedding ring down there. Sure, the ring falls off of Michael's finger, yet, somehow it stays put in Teri's gap? Anyway, she suggests that Michael let his partner take the fall this time, a favorite plot by the writers of this show. Again, Michael gulps.

[MP, Syd's Apt]
Sydney is looking through the classified section for a job for Bobby. Unfortunately, the only other time she read this section was when she was looking for that Red Shoe Diaries ad. Needless to say, there aren't a whole lot of listings for "Mobster Wanted." But Bobby seems content in his new career scrubbing bugs off of aircraft windshields. Besides, he doesn't need much of a salary now that he's gone from wearing Armani suits to Conner Aircraft T-shirts. But, as Fate would have it, there's a knock at the door. (No, not *that* Fate. I'm talking about Fate Daniels, one of the writers!) It's an old sleazy childhood friend of Bobby's named Jimmy Stanley, who claims he's become legit as a movie producer. As the saying goes, "Never trust a person with two first names," and boy, does it apply here. Jimmy offers Bobby a chance to get into showbiz, requiring only a measly 15 grand investment. But Bobby doesn't trust Jimmy as far as he can throw him, which he then proceeds to do as he grabs Jimmy and tosses him into the courtyard. But before he leaves, Jimmy tells Bobby to think about the idea, mentioning he's at the Sunset Plaza Hotel in case Bobby changes his mind.

[MP, Alison's Apt]
Billy barges into Alison's apartment, bringing her a latte in exchange for 2 minutes of her time. As he speaks, he proceeds to dump the latte into a coffee mug, ruining the froth. He's pitching OnlineBank in a couple of days and wonders if Alison knows anything about them. She asks why he just doesn't go to his pillow partner, so he informs her that his relationship with Amanda was limited. Alison smiles and says, knowing Amanda used him to get her contract renewal, "You got to give her credit for equal opportunity back-stabbing." Regarding OnlineBank, she tells Billy that they are only interested in facts and figures, not catchy off-the-cuff slogans. She suggests he patch things up with Amanda long enough to get the OnlineBank files, because without those numbers he's dead. Knowing he has no chance with Amanda, he takes his frustration out on Alison, telling her to have "nice minimum wage day" and leaves. Not to be outdone, Alison shows him, by dumping the frothless latte down the sink and sticking her jaw out.

[Wilshire Memorial]
Amanda arrives to tell Peter that she's been thinking about Teri's accusations and figures he's the one telling the truth. Peter's a little ticked that it took her so long to decide in his favor, and says he trusts his lawyer more than he trusts her right now. Oh, by the way, his lawyer is none other than Alycia. It's just another one of those Melrose inaccuracies -- the only place in the world where lawyers aren't a dime a dozen! Here, except for Alycia, you can't find a lawyer to save your life. (Well, on the other hand, everyone's a doctor and you can't find one of them to save your life, either!) Peter's only other option was to use the lawyer who got Matt absolved... Oops! See what I mean? Anyway, he says Alycia advises him to settle. Amanda tells him that settling isn't his style and that he should have more scruples than that and fight for what is right. This, coming from a woman who just spread eagle to get her job renewed!

[City Street]
Laurie has found an apartment. Jo, relegated to chauffeur these days, drives Laurie and Tyler to the new place. As Jo hands Laurie a duffel bag of clothes, she asks, "Do you have everything?" Duh, Jo, they just moved from Chicago and they only have 2 bags! Before Jo leaves, she asks Laurie about the bruise on Tyler's back. Laurie claims ignorance, attributing it to the clumsiness of boys, and how they always run into things that leave bruises that look like remarkably like handprints.

[MP, Jane's Apartment]
Jane is busy doodling when Richard stops by. Since she never comes to the office, he has to come to her place to tell her about the good news. Humphrey's, the biggest retailer on the east coast, wants to do business with them. Funny, but garage-based Mancini Fashions had no buyers, and Richard Hart Designs was ruined in the fashion industry, but now that they've partnered and Mancini Hart Designs emerges from the ashes, they immediately strike this million dollar account! He has scheduled a trip to NYC to meet with the buyers. At first, she's resistant to the idea, not because she's afraid of flying, but because she's afraid of Dick. He promises that his only agenda is the account. Besides, how could he have any ulterior motives when he hasn't even been seen for the past couple of episodes? She admits he's right and agrees to go.

[Sunset Plaza Hotel]
Sydney meets Jimmy for lunch, wearing her little Pocahontas outfit. She wants to know more about his legitimate film. He claims that his "flicks" have netted a whopping $950,000 each, and that 15 will get her 75. The fact that he describes his films as "flicks" should trigger the warning flag, but instead, she accepts his schpiel and writes out a check for $15,000 from the Burns-Mancini corporation account.

[MP Courtyard]
Jo is waiting around for Matt. She feels Tyler is being abused and asks if he knows of an agency to report it to or if she should just go to the cops. Matt tells her that a false accusation is just as harmful as a real case of abuse, and that she should see an expert before jumping to any conclusions. Jo feels that time is of the essence (yeah, the season's almost over) so she asks if Matt knows anyone at the hospital. It just so happens that one of Matt's Prof.'s once wrote a paper on the subject, so that must make him an expert!! Jo persuades Matt to introduce her to the Prof. at the next class and she'll take care of the rest.

[Beach House]
Kimberly is in bed, doing some light reading on Multiple Personality Disorders. Michael enters with some chicken soup. He finds her book, and tells her that "Sybil" cases are out of her league, that those type of people are "way too far gone for normal therapy," and "that nothing but a permanent stay in a nut house can cure that type." He proceeds to feed her some soup, but after hearing his opinions on MPD all she can do is *choke*. Then she asks what's going on with this Miss Tarzana thing. Now it's Michael's turn to *choke*! He says Peter will probably be taken for all he's worth, and that "even smart people can have messed-up lives." Finally, the dramatic music starts and Michael can't take it anymore. He says he has something to tell Kimberly, and she jumps forward saying she has something to tell him too. Michael wants to go first, so he tells her he's not perfect but that he loves her and asks "If we could just find it in our hearts to forgive..." At which point, Kimberly chimes in, "Yessss, If we can both forgive then we can get through anything, can't we?" This is the most talking they've done in a long time even though, when you think about it, they never really said anything. Still, it brings a smile to their faces and they hug.

[Mancini & Hart Designs]
Good thing Richard was so slow packing boxes, because the company has moved back into the same building and now there isn't much unpacking that needs to be done. Jake shows up to speak with Richard. Richard asks, "This is where you lay the Cro-Magnon speech on me, right? Me Jake. Jane mine. Right?" Jake replies, "Hey. No nice. Me keep you business Jane." Jake just wants a little respect. He says, "Me Jake. Jane mine." Dick understands, and adds "But sooner or later, Jane is going to need some intellectual stimulation, and when that happens, where is that going to leave you?" This sets Jake off and he throws Dick up against the wall and says, "Me Jake. Jane mine." Then he adds that he's on to Dick, and if Dick messes with Jane's head (and I assume, body), he'll take that pretty-boy face of Dick's and pound it into the dirt, just like Cro-Magnon man used to do.

[Shooters]
Syd is having dinner with Laurie and Tyler. A bar is a good place to bring a kid, I guess. Anyway, the women look like they've got light beer, while he's got a stout. Laurie is busy praising Jo and all the help she's been, but Sydney tarnishes Jo's halo by painting her as a guilt-ridden weirdo who once had a kid, but killed the drug-dealing father, and ended up giving the kid away for adoption. Laurie says she thought Jo was so together, but Syd disagrees, adding "She was always too holier than hell for my taste." Then Syd asks Tyler if he'd like to split a banana daiquiri or a banana split with her, I forget which. Tyler high-five's her, leading her to conclude that, like her men, "Kids are kind of sticky, aren't they?"

[Wilshire Memorial]
Jo and Matt are loitering around the hallways after Matt's class, waiting for Matt's professor, Dr. O'Malley. Jo wonders what's taking him so long, and Matt tells her that O'Malley is a popular professor, especially with the female students. Matt introduces Jo, and she asks for some advice regarding child abuse. O'Malley is not into giving free advice, but he'll give her the time it takes to get to his car. She reiterates her boys will be boys speech at which point O'Malley says, "So, a 4 yr. old, that you hardly know, has a bruise on his back. And based on that, you come to, arguably, the most well respected expert in child abuse. Don't you think you might have skipped a few levels? I think you watch too much daytime television." I thought Matt said O'Malley wrote a paper on abuse once. From that, he's an expert? I'm sorry, but if I wrote a paper on masturbation, I don't think I'd be describing myself as "arguably the most well respected expert in hand jobs!" But I digress. Jo turns and walks off in a huff, her most charming ploy, causing the O'Malley to do a 180 and agree to meet Tyler and to have a talk with him.

[Burns-Mancini-Mancini-Burns]
Michael and Peter arrive. Teri and Brandi are waiting in Peter's office with their lawyer, Danielle Sanderson (Wow! there is more than one lawyer in L.A.!) Peter asks her, "What's it like to be representing Satan's bride?" Alycia offers them $200,000 as a settlement, which they accept. Peter sings, "There she is, Miss Extortion 1996." But Peter, yanks the check back at the last moment and tears it up. Michael cringes and exclaims, "You got to do it Peter!" Peter dares Teri to bring him to court, saying his integrity is not for sale. The "beauty brigade," and I use that term loosely, leaves, Brandi brushing her hand across Michael's cheek as she walks past. Then Alycia says to him as she grabs her briefcase, "That woman's going to eat your partner alive. Unless whoever slept with that little girl on the beach comes forward, I suggest that you look for a new practice to join." Michael gulps.

[NYC, Late Night]
Night scene of a city, complete with the Twin Towers and the Empire State building. Figuring its audience is as clueless as Jake, a subtitle appears informing us that it's New York! Holy Subtitles! I thought it was Gotham City. Jane and Richard return to her hotel room, from a night of celebratory bliss. It seems they landed a million dollars in new orders, which called for a fancy dinner and a couple bottles of wine. Jane admits that the two of them make great business partners and that Richard's been a total gentleman the entire evening. "That's the first complement you've paid me in months," Dick says, and it seems to trigger something inside of him. Then the phone rings. It's Jake. She tells Jake how wonderful her day was with Richard and how they could do no wrong, but how she misses him. But all Jake can say is, "It sounds like you've been celebrating (drinking.) Funny how you supposedly can't stand the guy, and now you're kicking back champagne with him at 1 o'clock in the morning?" Jane asks why he's acting as though she's done something wrong, adding that she had the best sales day of her life and he's giving her grief over having a couple of drinks. Jake answers, "Well, I'll save my congratulations until you're sober. So, uhhm, goodbye. Uhhh, give my best to your drinking buddy." "Actually, Richard's right here, why don't you tell him yourself" Jane touts. Jake quips, "Uhhh. So does that mean you don't have any clothes on?" Jane tells him to go to hell and hangs up. Jake immediately pours himself a shot or two. Alison catches him, and although her voice asks "Since when do you drink on the job?" her eyes wonder "Well then, can waitresses drink on the job, too?" Alison tries to convince Jake that Jane would never do anything to jeopardize her relationship with him because she loves him, but Jake admits that Jane needs Richard. Meanwhile, back in NYC, Richard tells Jane she deserves someone better. Obviously, he's not referring to himself as he proceeds to wrestle her to the bed. She half-heartedly cries for help, but he muffles her screams with his hand. Then he goes down on her neck like he's playing a character in "Kindred: The Embraced." The next morning Jane is trying to shower everything off, when Dick lets himself in. Jane calls their incident the night before rape, he calls it making love, just like they did in the old days. He convinces her that no one will believe her, considering people saw them celebrating, drinking together, she had a spat with her boyfriend -- it would seem only natural that she turned to Dick physically.

[Laurie's New Apartment]
Jo pays Laurie and Tyler an unexpected visit, arriving just as Laurie is verbally scolding Tyler for the mess he made. It seems that Tyler has no toys so he plays with food in the refrigerator instead. The place is a mess since Tyler was pretending he was a hurricane, tossing food about the room. Jo remarks, "Well, it looks like you've settled in." Laurie tells Jo she's been going on job interviews, leaving Tyler with an exotic dancer living in a nearby unit. Jo can't believe that Laurie would trust Tyler to "someone like that." As if Jo wouldn't be a stripper if she had the right equipment. Laurie tells Jo to shut up unless she can be around for Tyler in a moment's notice. Jo says, for Tyler, she can. Hey, she has no job and no obvious function on the show, so why not? Laurie takes Jo up on her offer, asking Jo to baby-sit that afternoon.

[OnlineBank Building]
Billy, while waiting to give his presentation, is flirting with a receptionist who looks remarkably like Alison. Ronald Marx, President of OnlineBank greets Billy, informing him that the entire management team is assembled and ready to hear what Billy has to say. As they head off, Marx realizes Billy isn't carrying any materials whatsoever, so he asks Billy where his stuff is. Billy replies, "I have the whole dog-and-pony show up here," pointing to his soccer-abused noggin. Boy, is he in trouble.

[Wilshire Memorial]
Jo, seizing the opportunity to have Tyler to herself for the afternoon, takes the child in to see Dr. O'Malley. After the exam he tells Jo, "I examined him. What can I tell you, it's your basic bruise." Jo, who must be inhaling those darkroom chemicals again, asks "What is that, a technical term?" So O'Malley, used to talking down to a child's level, explains to Jo, "The boy has no physical symptoms of child abuse. I had a nice chat with him and he has a normal and healthy attitude towards his mother. It's good news, Jo." But Jo can't accept this explanation, possible because it was the only interesting plotline for her in months. Despite his expertise, she argues, "You can't talk with a boy 10 minutes and make that kind of judgment." Hey, even though she's no expert, at least she's known them for A WHOLE WEEK! He suggests she find another outlet for all this passion, like a man. He offers to write her a prescription to get "knocked up" so she can start her own family, but she declines.

[Santa Monica]
Kimberly finds herself wandering in a park. As she's about to pop a couple of those Peter Pills, she stops and says to her other self, "No, no, no Kimberly. Now don't you go taking those." Then she gasps to herself, "Oh, Peter wants me to." Poor Kimberly. She has to play several people for no extra pay, whereas all slugs like Bobby have to do is prance around a hangar playing with prop props.

[Shooters]
Sydney meets Amanda, who pays her $200 for information regarding the whereabouts of Teri Carson and kid Brandi, as well as Syd's silence. On her way out, Amanda runs into Billy sulking after blowing the OnlineBank presentation. "Online Man, super hero of banking?" she asks. "The clients are still laughing." She proceeds to inform him that the D&D board decided to replace him with her. When Alison stops by to see if he needs another beer, Billy replies, "No, I don't need a damn thing at all. Not from you, not from anybody." Suddenly, you realize, isn't this exactly what Brooke used to say just before she kicked the bucket? Maybe he *is* possessed.

[Burns-Mancini-Mancini-Burns]
Although it's late, Peter arrives at the office only to find Kimberly in the waiting room. She runs up and embraces him, saying how she has missed him. Peter responds, "I'm in a crappy mood, my life is ruined, and I don't feel like socializing." He must be hanging around Michael too much, assuming people only visit their *medical* office to socialize. She tells him she's hearing voices like Henry again, only this time she can't stop them. He tells her to calm down and that they'll talk about it, but moments later the door opens AGAIN! There are more visitors at night than during business hours! No, it's not another patient (I think they only have one) but rather the police, who arrest Peter on a number of accounts. Kimberly pleads, "No, you can't take him. He's my doctor. I need him." The cops warn her that she's interfering with police business, and remind her that they're L.A. cops, they have billy clubs, and they know how to use them, and they treat legal aliens with the same disrespect as illegals. Part of their "No Discrimination Policy." As they drag Peter off, tells Kim he'll call another doctor to talk with her, but by now she's so freaked out all she does is mumble how she can't do this by herself.

[Beach House]
Michael receives a phone call, answering by saying, "Kimberly?" "Try wife #2" Syd says. Michael tells her that he's worried because Kimberly never came home last night. Sydney informs Michael that the cops arrested Peter for "doing a minor," causing Michael to growl, "Those witches." She tells Michael she's taking the day off so he better go to the office and cover, and when I think about it, I can't even recall the last time I saw her in the office working. Immediately, Michael forgets all about Kimberly and whatever trouble she might be in, as he storms off, where no one knows for sure.

[MP, Jo's Apt]
Laurie explodes after finding out that Jo took Tyler to see O'Malley. She tells Jo that Tyler is hers and for Jo to stay away and find her own young man.

[Cemetary]
Billy pays Brooke a visit, where her gravestone reads:

BROOKE ARMSTRONG CAMPBELL
Born Aug 6, 1900
Died Feb 12, 1996

Huh? Born in 1900? Either that's a typo or she looked pretty good for a 95 yr. old. She had to die first, but Billy finally brought her flowers. He tells her that he felt guilty because she died after he stopped loving her, and that maybe he tried to keep her alive by becoming all the things he thought she was. Finally, he places his wedding band on the gravestone and says his goodbyes.

[Emery Studios]
Yes, the same place that produced Alan's soap opera. I guess Hollywood studios have loosened their standards slightly. Syd pays an unexpected visit to the set, only to find out that she's invested in a porno flick.

[Century Plaza, Room 387]
Amanda goes to the hotel to confront Teri and Brandi, but as she's getting out of the elevator, she sees Michael banging on the door to the Carson's room. Brandi answers, and starts suffocating "Mikey," telling him she just can't keep her hands off him. He tells her she'd better, saying they have to talk and that he wants her and her mother to come clean. He slips inside (the room, not Brandi!)

[Beach House]
Kimberly is pacing in the bedroom, muttering "I am not going to let you do this, Betsy. I am not going to let you win. I am not going to let you take control." Just then, Michael returns, calling out for Kimberly. As he enters the bedroom, he says "Honey, there's something I need to talk to you about, if you don't know already" but before he can say another word she nails him in the back, or should I say, hammers him in the back. He falls to the ground and Kim, hovering over him with a hammer, whispers, "Guess what? Betsy won."

[MP, Jane's Apt]
Jake bangs on the door. Jane answers but says she's really tired and asks if they can talk later. She tries to close the door but his clumsy foot stops it and he continues, "C'mon, you're not still mad at me are ya? Look, I probably shouldn't have said what I said on the phone, but you had Richard in your hotel room and you were drunk and I got jealous, alright? I'm sorry." "Jake, I asked you to stop, I expect you to stop" she says. Jake asks, "Stop what?" So Jane blurts, "Just leave me alone, alright? Just go away! I'm sick of it. OK? I'm sick of you, of all of you!" With that she shuts the door, breaks down and starts crying, while Jake just stands outside the door, as if to say, "Me Jake. Jane mine."
[To Be Continued...]

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Last Modified April 16, 1996