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They first operated in the shadows, but now they've come into the light. Yes, you too can now hire the expert services of Rescues Unlimited TM! Our employees have years of experience rescuing individuals, groups, and equipment from the most hostile conditions. Whether it's a dear family member that needs to be rescued from a 3rd world country in revolt, or your most cutting edge researcher kidnapped by the competition across the steet, we can handle it all. No job is too big. No fee is too big.
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>display_transcript "WT-6-56<
Dunkelzahn: Good evening, ladies and gentleman and welcome to another episode of "Wyrm Talk." Tonight we have a very special show for you. Thanks to our friends at Rescues Unlimited TM, our guest tonight is none other than the CEO of Saeder-Krupp and member of the Council of Princes of the Tir Tairngire himself, the great dragon Lofwyr.
Camera zooms out to show Lofwyr, bound and gagged in immense amounts of duct tape.
Applause.
Dunkelzahn: So, Lofwyr, how are you tonight?
Lofwyr:
Dunkelzahn: Oh, of course. You can't speak, being gagged and all. Pity. Let's see if we can remedy that.
Lofwyr: (obviously a squeaky, high-pitched, ventriloquism from Dunkelzahn) Hiya Dunkelzahn, you old nut. I'm soooo glad to be here tonight. I love your show and never miss an episode. And all my little Saeder-Krupp employees had better be watching too, 'cause I'll know...
Dunkelzahn: Sorry, I had to do that. The truth is, dragons who are gagged with duct tape don't get to speak. Dragons who have their own talk shows and are NOT gagged with duct tape DO get to speak.
Lofwyr:
Dunkelzahn: Exactly
Dunkelzahn then goes prattling on about dragons, their eating habits, personal hobbies and such for the next twenty minutes.
Dunkelzahn: Well, our time is nearly up, and I can't say when we've had a better show tonight. As for one last surprise, we have another guest who's dropped in to say hello. Harlequin, the immortal elf, come on out!
Harlequin, in full face paint and tuxedo, walks out from behind one of the curtains. He's already laughing.
Harlequin: Thanks hehehee for having me tonight, Big D. Heeheheh I couldn't have missed this for the world. He adopts a serious expression and turns to the bound Lofwyr. Lofwyr, for eight thousand years, I've been looking for the opportunity to do this.
From out of nowhere a cream pie appears in Harlequins hand. Camera pans to Lofwyr to focus on his right eye, where a single tear is forming.
Harlequin: This is for having no style, no sense of humor, and for eating my entire flock of goats eight thousand and one years ago.
His aim is true. The dragon is hit.
Harlequin: Thanks D, thanks Lofwyr, and thanks, Rescues Unlimited TM.
He disappears, laughing to himself, behind the curtain from where he came in.
Dunkelzahn: Well, our show is at an end. As a concilliatory gesture, Lofwyr, I'll let you have the last word tonight.
With a wave of a Dunkelzahn's forelimb, the duct tape around Lofwyr's mouth unravels.
Lofwyr: I loathe you.
The curtains begin to close and the lights dim. Applause.
Dunkelzahn: Oops, I forgot to mention. Thanks, Rescues Unlimited TM!