TITLE: What Did We Do to Danny Today?

AUTHOR: LostinChlt

RATING: G

SPOILERS: Every piece of FanFic ever written by the Unholy Alliance and apostles

AUTHOR'S NOTES. *shaking my head* What did the poor kid ever do to you?

Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors.

Lost,

Read your comments on the Lists and just wanted to say, thanks!! I can't take much more of this whumping. If my insurance wasn't covered by the Government, I would be in dire straits by now. Ever argued with an HMO about replacing your glasses? All I'll say is, it isn't pretty and the Fic Folks keep me in practice.

Do you have any idea what these folks have been doing to me? They have me in the infirmary so much, the SGC is considering moving my office right next door to it! Jack says they beat me up because they like me. I told him it wasn't Jackie-boy they keep beating up. "Oh yeah?" he said. "Look at Bastet's latest. She has me getting wacked in the head with a staff weapon!" Well, it's hardly the same thing as having a bug cut out of your arm. Especially a mutant bug the size of a Buick! I just nodded at him. There's really no arguing with Jack. How come he gets to walk away from everything?

By the way, have you seen how much coffee they have me drinking? I haven't slept in over 2 years! Who could possibly drink that much coffee? And the infections they give me! Don't get me started. Dr. Frasier has an entire sample case reserved just for me right next to the Daniel Jackson memorial wing of the infirmary they're thinking of buliding. It's getting to the point that every time I step out of the gate, something hits me or I end up tripping over something. I can't get through a single mission without hitting my head or spraining an ankle and needing Jack, Teal'c or Sam to help me home. And Oh Yeah! What's this passing out on the ramp thing? I always seem to pass out on the ramp. Is that a fetish or what?

Now there's this thing about getting me to take off my clothes! 101 ways to get me naked. I shudder to think about the Marines down the hall reading those. I'll never be able to shower here again!

Well, I'd better go. Please disregard the coffee stains on this letter. I spilled my coffee and broke the mug trying to wipe it up. I'd better go put a Band-Aid on this cut I got cleaning it up. You don't suppose........? Nah. Are you sure Yum@'s out of the country?

Thanks for listening

Danny

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