Title: Smile (#13 of the Radio Series)

Author: OXBastetXO

Category: Stargate SG-1, Angst, Smarm, Epilog

Spoilers: Past and Present and Forever In a Day, Prisoners

Sequel/Season Info: After Ke'ra and the Vyans leave.

Rating: PG-13

Content Warning: Just some angst

Summary: Daniel does some serious thinking about relationships and fate.

Author's Note: Thanks to Gatecrasher for letting me ramble to her and to Lady E for the Beta. Thanks guys!

Showtime and MGM/UA owns Stargate: SG-1 and all there in. I'm just borrowing them for a bit, and I promise to give them right back when I'm done. Well, most of them, I might just keep Jack and Daniel for a bit longer.

Smile is by Lonestar. I'm just borrowing it for background music.

Smile

by

OXBastetXO

Daniel Jackson shoved the door to the snack room open, giving the small room a quick look and then left out a grateful sigh. It was empty.

He crossed over to the small coffee pot in the corner of the room and filled up his mug. One of these days, he was going to have to get that pot in his office fixed.

He sighed and leaned back against the counter. She was gone and he would never see her again. He set the mug down and slipped his glasses off. What was he even thinking getting involved with her? He should have known better. It was too soon. Too soon after...Sha're. A fresh wave of old familiar pain washed over him.

Jack was right. He should have been more careful. "The first girl he had fallen for since Sha're" and he had to pick a homicidal manic.

A bitter laugh escaped his throat. "Boy, Daniel Jackson, you can sure pick them."

He sighed, "Oh, Ke'ra."

He looked up and saw the little radio sitting on the counter. He reached over and flipped the power switch and music started to pour out its tiny speakers. He twisted the tuner until he finally found a clear signal and the soft chords of new song start.

I still remember the night we met

You said you loved my smile

But your love for me was like a summer breeze

Oh it lasted for awhile

I could hold on a little tighter I know

But when you love someone, you gotta let em go, so..

Daniel flipped through the journal on the table before him and frowned. "I keep finding references to something called Dargol."

Ke'ra looked up and nodded. "Yes, I found Dargol was a chemical once used as a pesticide. It seems to have a significant effect on the environment and since been banned."

"Yes, we had a similar problem in my world with a chemical called DDT." Daniel leaned his chin down to rest on his hand. "It built up in the food chain until entire species were threatened."

"Yes, I first believed this Dargol was somehow related to our lose in memory in much the same way but there is little evidence of it. I have found residue of it only in the bodies of those who have died since the Vorlix."

Ke'ra started flipping through the journals and loose papers on the table. She reached for one of the larger tomes and then paused as she opened it. Daniel caught a glimpse of what looked like a tintype stuffed in between the pages. She fingered the image with a sigh.

Daniel leaned over to get a closer look at it. "What?"

The young woman frowned. "Sometimes images of people in the archives look familiar and I wonder if I knew this person or that person." She looked up at him. There was such confusion and sadness in her blue eyes. Daniel knew that feeling. He knew it all too well. "There are still so many questions. Why are there no images of children? Where have our elders gone? Through your Stargate perhaps?"

He nodded. "It is possible your people for saw something and sent the most helpless to safety."

A frown suddenly wrinkled her brow and she shook her head. "No Daniel, what ever happened it was without warning.

"How do you know," he started and then he realized why not. He smiled at her, "Because is you had seen a disaster coming you would have written yourselves a note."

Ke'ra giggled and shook her head.

He started to laugh too. "Sort of a 'To Whom It May Concern'?"

She laughed in earnest and her eyes sparkled. He liked this. This was something he has missed and not even realized he missed. The company of a woman. This was nice.

I'm gonna smile, cause I wanna make you happy

Laugh, so you can't see me cry

I'm gonna let you go in style

And even if it kills me, I'm gonna smile

"So, why don't I give you the fifty cent tour," Daniel said quickly.

Janet Frazier smiled at him in relief, "Yeah."

Ke'ra nodded grudgingly to him and then turned to Janet. "Thank you."

Daniel steered her out of the infirmary and down the hallway. Two security guard followed close behind them. He took her first to the control room and then through the various other sections of the SGC.

"Your complex is incredible, Daniel. Your technology. I've never dreamed of such marvels." She fairly beamed as she followed him down the corridor. She slipped her arm though his and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you!" she said with delighted giggle.

Daniel couldn't help but smiled at her enthusiasm. She was so beautiful. "You're welcome."

She looked around at the drab grey walls, questions pouring out of her nearly faster than Daniel could keep up. "Is it morning or noon on the surface? May we see for ourselves?"

He grimaced. "Uh, no. Not yet? Soon, I hope." He opened the door to her temporary quarters.

"I hope so too." She laughed as he motioned for her to enter the room first.

"This is it," he said, eyeing the Spartan room. It didn't have much more the bare necessities. "It not much of view, but it's got all--"

Ke'ra cut him off. "You've been very kind." She smiled shyly. "Thank you."

'Could her eyes possibly be any bluer?' Okay, keep focused here, Daniel,' he told himself. He grabbed one of the drawers on the dresser. "So, there are...clothes here in the...dresser. Ah...some are just sort of--"

Ke'ra frowned. "Isn't my clothing suitable?"

"No," he said quickly. "No..no..no. It's...no..it's..it's...it's fine..I...just..ah...it's just--" Augh! He was dithering. He had to think. "Are you hungry?" he asked, turning back to her. "Cause..if." He motioned somewhere vaguely over his shoulder. "I can..I can..I can have them send something down." He stared to turn. "You're hungry. I'm hungry. I going to have them to send something down." He turned back to look at her. "You...you want something?"

She laughed. "Yes."

"Right," he said. He was dithering again. She was going to think he was an idiot. He looked up and realized she was staring up at him intently.

"Since the Vorlix, close contact has become almost taboo. We were afraid that if we were ever able to regain our memory--"

He smiled and finished, "You would find yourself waking up beside the wrong person.

"You are not from Vyus," she said slowly coming toward him.

He started back up but she followed until he bumped into the table. Was it him or was it getting hotter in here?

"No, I'm not," he said, clearing his throat. "From there. From Vyus..no." He took a deep breath and pulled away from her. "Ke'ra."

She took a step back and nodded. "I understand."

He grabbed her arm. "No. You don't. I mean, I'm..okay." He took a deep breath and started again. "I mean I'm finding myself very, very, very...very, but ah..ah." He struggled trying to find the way to say this. "The fact is I only just recently lost my wife. And ah." he paused, "well that not actually totally true. I lost her a long time ago but the fact is I don't think I would trust myself to completely--" and whatever else he was going to say was lost when Ke'ra leaned up and kissed him. He found himself leaning into the kiss, losing himself in the sweetness of the moment.

Ke'ra pulled back and he sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I interrupted you."

Daniel shook his head. "No, you didn't. No...I..ah... I..ah..wasn't going to say anything."

"I had to do that," she said. "I had to do it in case when my memory returns I find myself attached to someone else and am unable to do it again."

"I...I understand. That's probably why I should this," he said pulling back into his arm and into another, deeper kiss.

Kiss me once for the good times baby

Kiss me twice for good-bye

You can't help how you don't feel

And it doesn't matter why

Give me a chance to bow out gracefully

Cause that's how I want you to remember me

Daniel walked her back to her room. What he had seen in the infirmary had frightened him. She had been so fixated on finding a cure that she had totally lost sight of the patient. Though he didn't want to admit it, even to himself, he had seen a glimpse of Linea in that moment.

As they walked, he could feel Teal'c shadow behind him. Ever since Sha're's death, he seemed to have taken on the roll as Daniel's protector. As difficult as it was dealing with is feelings over the fact it was Teal'c that had been forced to kill Sha're to prevent Amonet from killing him, he had accepted it. Sha're had seen to that. Her parting gift. In those few moment that seemed like a lifetime to him, she had given him that message. 'Forgive him, he did the right thing.' In his head, he knew that was true, but his heart just needed more time.

They finally reached Ke'ra's room and he stood there as she opened the door.

"Daniel," she said. "May we be allowed to speak alone?"

"Yes," he said quickly and then he turned to Teal'c. "I'm just going to stay for a minute."

"I will accompany you," Teal'c said starting to follow.

Daniel used his arm to bar the Jaffa's way, "Teal'c."

The Jaffa stopped. "I am concerned only for your welfare, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel looked away for moment and looked back up him.

Teal'c sighed. "Very well," he said and turned his back as he shut the door.

Ke'ra stood there waiting for him. "They believe I am Linea?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Do you?"

Daniel looked away and started to pace. "The Vorlix made the population of Vyus younger. Years younger. You couldn't find the elder, because you were the elders."

Ke'ra stared at him in disbelief. "How can you believe that?"

"There's a test it compares what we call DNA. It proves that you and Linea are the same person."

"Well, the test is wrong," she said in a stricken voice, tears streaming down her face. "I'm not Linea!"

Daniel walked over to her and pulled her close. "No, you're not. You're Ke'ra now." He reached down and tilted her head up to look into her beautiful face. "Ke'ra is wonderful and as long as you remain that person, that will never change."

She sniffed. "You're telling me that I will never be able to take the antidote. I would never harm anyone, Daniel. Do you believe me?"

"I do," he said.

I'm gonna smile, cause I wanna make you happy

Laugh, so you can't see me cry

I'm gonna let you go in style

And even if it kills me, I'm gonna smile

Daniel walked with her back to her quarters again. It had worked. Orner, no, his name was Nodaal, had gotten him memory back. They had done it.

He stood there and looked at her as they stopped out side her quarters.

"What will be done with me?" she asked, quietly. She looked up at him. She looked so lost.

"Well, if you don't take the antidote, I don't see any reason why you can't go back to Vyus. I intend to ask them."

She shook her head. "They'll fear me. I would."

He tried to smile. "For all that you've done for them, they'll be grateful."

Ke'ra reached up and caressed his cheek. "All debts have now been paid," she said, sadly.

He sighed. "I'll come back after I've had a chance to speak to your people."

"I shall miss you, Daniel," she said as he turned to go.

He smiled and head back down the corridor. How things had gotten complicates so quickly. He didn't think the Vyans would hold this against her. Nodaal would be the one to ask about this.

Suddenly, something registered in the back of his mind. 'All debt have been paid.' Hadn't Linea....no! He turned and ran back down the corridor. He grabbed the door to Ke'ra's room and shoved it open with a bang.

"You've taken the antidote!" She just stood there with her back to him. "You said 'All debts have now been paid.' That's the message Linea left behind." He pulled the door shut behind him.

"It is?" she asked.

"Did you take the antidote?" he demanded.

She turned to face him. Tears streaming down her face. "I had to, Daniel. I didn't believe you."

"Ke'ra," he started, taking a step toward her.

"I'm not Ke'ra, am I?" she demanded. "I am the murder you said I was."

"No, you're not!" He couldn't let her do this.

She held up two of the small vial he had seen in the infirmary. "I need only smash these vials together to create a poisonous gas which will fill this room. I only want to harm myself. I don't' want you to be here."

He stood his ground. "Then you'll have to kill me too, because I'm staying." He couldn't let her do this.

"I deserve that to die!" she said in anguish.

"I don't' believe that," he said softly.

She looked away and shook her head. "You don't' understand. There's a part of me that cares for you, Daniel. More than I've cared for anyone I've ever known, but there is other part of me that will gladly watch you die." Her beautiful features twisted in hate at the words.

Suddenly, the door behind him burst open and Jack and Teal'c stood there. "Move aside, Daniel," Jack order, training his gun on Linea.

Daniel waved an arm at Jack. "Don't!"

"Move!" Jack glared at him.

Daniel moved himself between Jack and the woman. "Give me the vials, Ke'ra," he said gently, holding out his hands. "You don't need to do this."

She shook her head back away from him, the vials firmly clenched in her hands. "There are two people inside of me and one of them is a monster, in time she will win."

He started moving forward slowly. "You won't hurt me, because there is another way, Ke'ra."

"I'm not Ke'ra!" she shrieked.

"No, you're not," he said taking the vial from her and pulling her into his arms. "But you can be her again. You can forget." He rested his cheek against her flaxen hair as she wept into his shoulder. "All you have to do is forget."

I'm gonna smile, so you can find the courage

Laugh, so you won't see me hurtin'

I'm gonna let you go in style

And even if it kills me, I'm gonna smile

"Hey, this a private party?"

Daniel looked up to see Jack standing in the doorway. "How long you been there?" he asked.

"Not long," he said pushing the door the rest of the way open. "How ya holding up?"

"Okay, I guess." He picked up his coffee mug, absently noting that the dark liquid inside was now cold.

Jack picked up at a mug from beside the sink and walked over to the pot, pouring himself a cup. "She'll be fine with the Vyans. As long as she doesn't take the antidote, she'll be able to have a normal life there."

"I know," he said softly, turning the mug around in his hands.

"So," the older man said, taking a sip of his coffee. "Oh, what did they make this stuff with? Burnt rubber?" He dumped the coffee out in the sink.

Daniel smiled. "It's some new blend the commissary decided to try. I think it has chicory or something in it."

"Yeah, whatever," he said. He started to dig in his pocket for some change and walked over to the vending machine.

He put his money in the machine and tapped at the keypad. A candy bar plunked to the bottom. He fished it out and walked back to lean against the counter beside the archaeologist.

"Daniel," he started. "Been meaning to talk to you about something."

He looked up. Here it came.

"You know in the conference room when you were trying, oh so subtly to make your point about Ke'ra and Linea not being the same person?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"You know how you were asking me who I trusted with my life?"

He nodded again.

Jack shifted to look at him. "You never really gave me a chance to answer that question."

"Look, Jack, you don't--" he started.

"Daniel." The older man held up a finger to silence him. "I do trust you. A lot more than you realize." He fiddled with the candy bar in his hands. "Ke'ra was a really sweet girl and I'm sorry things didn't work out."

"Thanks," he said, quietly.

"Here," Jack said, handing him the candy bar. "I don't know why even got this. I hate 5th Avenue bars."

He smiled and looked down at the little chocolate bar. "Thanks."

"Come, on," the older said, heading for the door. "There has got to be some drinkable coffee in this place."

Daniel started after him and then stopped and walked back to the little radio and switched it off.

"You coming?"

"Yeah, hold up."

*fin*

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