Title:  Fanfic, She Wrote

Author:  OXBastetXO

Category:  Humor

Spoilers: Hathor, Solitudes, In the Line of Duty, Thor's Hammer,  Shores of Avalon (OXBastetXO), Just A Bad Day (OXBastetXO and DTervo),  Desperat Measures (Yum@), At Heliopolis Blood and Guns (Katie) Science and Reason (DTevro)

Sequel/Season Info:  Second

Rating: G

Content Warning: None, just  really, really, really silly

Summary: The SG-1 team faces a foe even more dangerous than the Goa'uld....fanfic writers!!!

Showtime and MGM/UA owns Stargate: SG-1 and all there in. I'm  just borrowing them for a bit, and I promise to give them right back when I'm done.  Well, most of them, I might just keep Jack and Daniel for a bit longer.

Fanfic, She Wrote

by

OXBastetXO

"In coming traveler," Harriman announced over the loud speaker.

General George Hammond looked over his shoulder. "Who is it?"

"Sg-1's signal, sir," Harriman replied.

"SG-1! They should have been back hours ago." Hammond called over his shoulder heading for the embarkation room.

The Stargate cawhooshed open and SG-1 stumbled out. Teal'c and Colonel Jack O'Neill were dragging a very beleaguered and obviously injured Doctor Daniel Jackson between them. The eased him down on the ramp and started yelling for a medic.

One of the bases resident medical teams rushed in and hurried over to work on Jackson.

Hammond rushed up to O'Neill and was shocked by the battered appearance of the team. O'Neill looked like he had gone ten rounds with Evander Hollifield. Jackson looked like somebody tried to put him through a blender. Carter's uniform was torn in several places and even more shocking, her hair was messed up! Hammond had seen Carter get zapped by Goa'uld, chucked out of the Antarctica Gate and nearly turned into a ice cube, and not to mention that whole thing with the Tok'ra, but never, ever, even through all that had she had a hair out of place. This was not good. Teal'c even looked a little worse for the wear, but with Teal'c you could never quite tell.

"Colonel, what happened? Did you run into a squad of Jaafa?" O'Neill shook his head. "Apophus?" He shook his head again. "Hera'hu?" Another shake. Hathor?" Shake.

"Worse, sir."

"Worse than Hera' hu and Hathor?"

"Yes, sir."

"What could be worse than that?"

O'Neill's face hardened. "Fanfic writers."

Hammond felt his blood go cold. "Who was it?"

"Not quite sure, sir. But they were ready for us as soon as we came through the gate."

"They?" Hammond repeated in disbelief. "There were more than one of them?"

"Yes, sir, it must have been some kind of convention of them." Carter said, coming up beside them. "But I think we were able to identify some of them."

"What happened?"

O'Neill scrubbed a hand across his face. "Well, some hostles grabbed Daniel as soon as we were through the Gate and started whumping on him."

"That had Yum@'s finger prints all over it." Carter shook her head.

"Then there was that group of alien who keep following us around taking notes. Then Daniel got sick."

"Had to be DTervo's handy work there."

"After that there was the alien bloodsucker chick with the smart mouth that tried to turn Teal'c and Carter into hor d'oeuvres."

"I think Steph had something to do with her."

"Then Daniel started going crazy in the head from the fever and was yelling for Sha're and something about a cat."

"Bastet," Hammond sighed. "It's a wonder any of you made it out alive."

"I'm not even going to mention that whole alternate reality thing," O'Neill groaned.

"Bree," Cater explained.

"That's not the worst part, sir," O'Neill said.

"It can get worse?"

"The DHD exploded," Carter said, simply. "That could have been either Yum@ or Katie. It's hard to tell."

Hammond shook his head. "Well at least your back and in relatively one piece." He glanced back down at Jackson, the medical team were still working on him and getting ready to take him to the infirmary. "Well, at least enough pieces we can put you back together. Get yourselves checked out by Doctor Frazier and well continue the debriefing later. Dismissed."

Soft giggles came from the direction of the Stargate and Hammond and SG-1 whipped around. But no one was there...or was there...............

*Fin?*

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