EPISODE ONE
Without much effort, I dragged myself up off the ground. My body now erect, I began to survey my surroundings. As I gazed outwards, I noticed how flat the surrounding land was. For miles and miles, there was only a smooth plain not once interrupted by a mound, hill, or bump in the earth. It was a complete and total pancake for as far as the eye could see. And while this should have seemed strange to me, it didn't. Somehow it seemed completely appropriate for where I was...wherever that may be. Casting my eye upward, I noticed how the sky was a perfect clear blue without one rogue white puffy cloud to interrupt its soothing clear complexion. Again, this should have seemed unnatural to me, some kind of extreme aberration. But it didn't. The land and sky seemed perfect, as if each were one with one another existing beyond the realm of reality.
Finally I took notice of the sun light itself. I came to notice how it didn't originate from a single point in the sky but instead, it seemed to project itself from everywhere and anywhere. Surrounding and penetrating all that there ever was and would be. Incorporating it's life-giving rays into all it came into contact with. Engrossed by my surroundings, I came to realize the true tranquillity which permeated this place and had come to pervade my own body and mind. For the first time in my life, I felt at ease. I felt totally at peace with my mind, body and spirit. It was a feeling completely beyond description and I knew that, for the moment, I did not want to leave this place. Not yet anyway. Then it hit me again. The fog bank in my mind rolled back a little further and I knew my next course of action. With the slightest of effort, I raised my foot and took my first step forward. And with that first step, I began my journey. Towards what, I did not know. I just knew I had to move and that somewhere durin g my travels, I would discover what had happened to me.
It seemed as though I had been walking for hours, but there was no way to tell. Nor was there anyway to discern how far I had traveled. I just continued to take one step after another. Eventually I decided to stop for a moment, so I could look back and at least count my footprints I was leaving in the sand. It seemed absurd. but then again, everything about my surroundings seemed contrary to reason. It was at this point that I noticed that, for all the energy I had expended while walking, I hadn't yet secr eted one molecule of sweat. Again, quite impossible. then again, it didn't seem to matter. The peace and euphoria I was experiencing in this land far outweighed the questions that needed answers. So I left my questions behind and continued my journey to...wherever.
After taking several thousand more intrepid steps onward, I finally spotted something hanging precariously on the infinite horizon of land. My first primal instinct was to begin to run towards it. To get to it before it disappeared and took answers with it. But something inside me told me to just keep walking; that it would wait for me to arrive. Sure enough, after several hundred more steps, I arrived at my intended destination. It was a small white tent, just big enough for two people. I slowly walked ar ound it and examined it completely. There was nothing strange or out of the ordinary about it. It was just as it appeared-a plain, ordinary white tent. Without any hesitation or fear, I entered the temporary domicile. As my head cleared the interior flap, I noticed there was another person inside the tent. the person was female and she was sitting in a chair sewing a quilt.
Slowly, I approached her and examined her features. She was petite, about five feet tall and a hundred and ten pounds, with long dark hair and penetrating blue eyes. Her face was long and narrow and she had skin that was eloquent alabaster in color. She was clothed in a flowing white dress which came down to her ankles. This made her seem all the more unearthly and angelic in appearance. She was quite beautiful and I found it difficult not to stare into her alluring and captivating elegance. Yet, as I star ed, I found there was something familiar about her. Did I know her? Yes, I think I do. What was her name...Jill. yes, that was it. Jill. I knew her from...from...Unfortunately, for the moment, that was all I could remember. The fog which still hung over my mind hadn't lifted sufficiently to allow me to remember anything more. Slowly, I approached her and without trepidation said: "Jill...is that you?"
Just as the words left my mouth and touched her ears, she leapt out of the chair and embraced me. I was unsure as to my response. Clearly, I had been correct in her name and that we knew each other from some other time. But something was preventing me from responding in kind; preventing me from enjoying the pleasure of the moment.
"Oh, it's so good to see you again," she cried. "It's been too long since we last saw each other." And she punctuated her affectionate response with a passionate kiss on my lips. "Yes it has," I replied, slowly wrapping my arms around her and returning her emotional greeting.
Taking me by the hand, she led me back over to her chair where she proceeded to sit back down while I sat on the warm ground. Leaving her unfinished quilt to the side, Jill proceeded to reminisce about all the fun we had shared together. She went on and on about picnics, movies, the beach, concerts, and a whole slew of other experiences we shared that I simply nodded in agreement with, knowing that I couldn't recall any of these memories.
As the time passed, questions arose in mind that I wanted to ask Jill. Where was I? Who was I? How did we know each other? But, as my mind gave birth to each new question, something in and around me told me the answers to these questions were not important, at least not now. Somehow I senses it was more important to me to just sit back and listen and not ask questions. I could see by the pleasure in Jill's eyes that this was true enough.
Taking but the briefest of moments to pause, Jill once again began recanting about a past experience we shared. "Oh, I know. remember the night you said you had to work late? And when you finally came home you tried to get in without waking me up. But instead you ended up falling in the rose bush and ripping your pants. Then when you finally got inside the dog thought you were a burglar and ended up chasing all over the house." And on that last word, she began to laugh up a storm, I myself began to laugh w ith her due to the comedic nature of the story. However, as I did, it hit me like a tidal wave crashing over my mind. Suddenly I began to remember the night she had just described. unfortunately, I didn't come to remember it the same way she did. As the truth unraveled itself in my mind, I began to feel ashamed, for the events of that night were not born out of a good work ethic, but instead out of debauchery and lust. As I now fully remembered the events of that night, I could no longer sit there and laug h about it with Jill. Instead, I turned my face away in shame.
"Hey, what's wrong? Why'd you stop laughing?" she asked. In truth, I did not want to tell her, but something which was now within myself compelled me to tell her the truth; even though I somehow knew it would hurt her.
"Jill...about that night," I began trying to find the perfect words. "The reason I was out late was because I went drinking with my buddies, not because I was working." I could see the words hit her like a shotgun blast. But the punishment wasn't over yet because there was still more to the story. "And while I was out with them, I met this woman and we ended up in a motel and..." I let the words hang there knowing she knew the rest of the story. Surprisingly, she didn't scream at me or punch or kick me. Sh e just stared at me with a look of disappointment and realization in her eyes.
"So does that mean you never loved me?" she asked. The question caught me off guard. I could barely remember anything about her and myself; never mind if I had loved her. Clearly she had loved me and I felt she deserve some kind of response. But before I could give one to her, Jill's attention turned elsewhere. She was staring up at the top of the tent. In a calm voice, she said: "what?" Then she turned and faced me and said: "He says you'll have to leave now." "Who?" I inquired.
"You have to go," she repeated, sitting back down and picking up her unfinished quilt.
I wanted to keep asking who she was talking to and why I had to leave. But somehow I realized my time here was done and there was nothing more for me to accomplish. Slowly I backed out of the tent, taking my last look at Jill. Just as I was about to leave, I said, in as forgiving a voice as I could muster: "I'm sorry." And I took my leave of her and continued on my journey to nowhere.
Keeping with my travels through the flatlands of paradise, my mind stayed focused on Jill. More precisely, it was focused on the fact that I had betrayed her. Even though I still didn't know where I was or where she was from or what the point of all this was, I knew that somehow what I had just done was some kind of atonement. Realizing this, I hoped that it would lead to some answers for myself somewhere down the line.
TO BE CONTINUED