LOVE, SEX & INTIMACY
Sex can be an expression of love. "To love" means giving the other what THEY need, not what you think they need. Therefore you must know how your spouse is designed and what their unique needs are. This post describes the differences between men and woman in terms of sexual response. Understanding and appreciating these differences is an important step in loving your spouse.



MEN
1. Sexually stimulated by sight
(i.e. the fully or partialy nude female body)


WOMEN
1. Sexually stimulated by touch, words and affectionate
actions (eg. hugging, cudling, flowers, small gift,
telephone call from work etc.)






MEN
2. Sexual peak of desire at 18 years old.
(i.e. when sexual desire is usually most strong)


WOMEN
2. Sexual peak of desire around 40 years old.







MEN
3. Wants immediate and direct stimulation of penis.

WOMEN
3. Does not want clitoris or breast stimulated immediately.
Wants to be touched in NON-erogenous areas first and
then GRADUALLY and teasingly begin to toutch
erogenous zones.






MEN
4. Seeks to orgasm and ejaculate at every sexual encounter
(goal oriented).

WOMEN
4. Does not always want orgasm. Prefers a feeling of
emotional closeness over biological orgasm
(experience oriented). In fact she can enjoy sex
WITHOUT experiencing an orgasm [so don't push her].






MEN
5. In conversations, men are generrally
Intellectual; that is they seek to get directly to "the point"
of a conversation.

WOMEN
5. Women are generraly Emotional; that is they seek to
talk about everything EXCEPT the main point of a
conversation.
[So don't push her to get to the point, just listen to her]






MEN
6. Needs to have sexual (genital) contact in order to feel
more love for his wife.

WOMEN
6. Needs to feel loved (appreciated and valued) BEFORE
she has sexual contact.






MEN
7. Usually desires quick intercourse (3-7 minutes)

WOMEN
7. Usually desires longer foreplay, embracing, cuddling.
Wants the experience to last a long time (20 min. - 1 hour)






MEN
8. Can become sexually excited in less than one minute!
[Especially if he sees his wife in the nude]


WOMEN
8. Takes one DAY to one week to feel the "need" for
sexual experience.






MEN
9. Needs to have an orgasm to feel satisfied.

WOMEN
9. Needs to feel emotionally close to her husband to feel
sexually satisfied. Does NOT need to have an orgasm.






MEN
10. Can practice the same sexual routine over and over
again.

WOMEN
10. Needs variety, creativity and imagination in the sexual
experience in order to enjoy it.






MEN
11. Desires his wife to be more aggressive and responsive
in the sexual experience. Wants wife to initiate sex more
often.

WOMEN
11. Usually want the Husband to satisfy her FIRST before
she thinks about satisfying him.






MEN
12. Would like to see his wife in visually appealing
lingerie.

WOMEN
12. Husbands character, attitude and how he treats her is
more attractive to her than his body.






MEN
13. Needs sexual intercourse in order to open his heart to
love his wife. He is conditioned to hide and suppress his
emotions. The intensity and immediacy of sexual love
liberates his suppressed heart to open.

WOMEN
13. Women are naturally expressive. They have little
trouble expressing their emotions. For them sex is not
needed to open their hearts. They need romance
(considerate and sensitive attention) in order to give
themselves in a sexual relationship. They need to feel
loved BEFORE they can enjoy sex.






MEN
14. Sex for a man is RELEASE of sexual tension and built
up sexual pressure. Therefore his goal is to release this
tension. This release gives him satisfaction. Therefore the
sooner the man gets release the better. Therefore the man
can enjoy sex that takes a short time (e.g. 2-5 minutes).


WOMEN
14. Sex for a woman is a BUILD-UP of sexual tension.
She seeks to be enticed and teased. Her goal is to become
more sexually charged, she is NOT seeking to release any
build-up. She is seeking TO be built-up. Therefore she
wants sex to last a longer time than the man does
(e.g. 20 min-1 hour). The more time the better.






MEN
15. Men sometimes engage in sex as a means of
psycological comfort comfort when they are down.


WOMEN
16. Women tend to engage in sex as a celbration of a
relationship, when things are going good and they are
feeling good.

...to be continued.