The Web Piaba Song

With Apologies to Harry Belafonte

When I was a lad just three foot three
certain questions occurred to me
so I asked me father quite seriously
to tell me the story 'bout thé bird and bee

he stammered and he stuttered remarkably
and this is what he said to me

oh the woman piaba
and the man piaba
and the ton ton - call back - lemon grass
the lilly root - gully root - belly root
UGH
and the peer ma scrammy scratch scratch

it was clear as mud but it cover the ground
and cónfusión make me brain go round

like what's a man piaba, yet,
I logged right on to the Internet

and I went

and I typed in an h t t p,
and a putt putt whack whack dubba dubba dee
yahoo dot alta vista com,
to see where man piaba was coming from,

and I watched that spinning ball
go right to the middle of Carnival,
and there was that piaba feesh,
but the whole Web site was in Portuguese.

and it was like,

oh the woman piaba...

it was clear as mud but it cover the ground
and cónfusión make me brain go round.

and I left Bill Gates's thing for later,
and I clicked Netscape Communicator.

I surfed a fish store in the Czech Republic,
for a fish called Cheirodon piaba,
I clicked on the icon the piaba fish,
and the whole Web application crash.

so I raise the memory allocation,
change the number on the radio station,
check to see if the scuzzy's ripped,
and take a look at the Java script.

and it go,

oh the woman piaba...

it was clear as mud but it cover the ground
and cónfusión make me brain go round

So after go to bed me Dad and Mom,
I work all night on a CD-ROM.

and I went,

and I typed in an h t t p,
and a putt putt whack whack dubba dubba dee
yahoo dot alta vista com,
with a URL from the CD-ROM.

Well, there's more piabas all over the nation,
like the Public Investors Arbitration Bar Association,
but if I live to ninety-three
I still wonder what man piaba be.

oh the woman piaba...

The original man piaba?

Synonymy Cheirodon piaba Lutken, 1874 (Cheirodon calliurus Boulenger, 1900; Cheirodon micropterus Eigenmann in Eigenmann & Ogle, 1907; Cheirodon jaguaribensis Fowler, 1941; Cheirodon macropterus Fowler, 1941)

Günther Sterba's wonderful old Freshwater Fishes of the World, Viking Press 1963 provides a description:
"Cheirodon piaba Lütken 1874. Eastern Brazil; to 5 cm. The coloration of this species is strongly reminiscent of that of C. interruptus [that's Cheirodon interruptus, folks!] with which this fish was often formerly confused; it is, moreover, rather variable in correspondence with the wide distribution. Upperside delicate brownish-green to olive-green; flanks silvery with an underlying greenish tone. A dark longitudinal band, broadening posteriorly, merges on the caudal peduncle into a large blue-black to lead-colored blotch from which, also, a narrow black stripe may extend onto the middle caudal rays. Fins colorless, translucent or slightly yellowish. Male anal fin strongly convex anteriorly; lower lobe of the caudal often red. Care and breeding as for C. interruptus. Cheirodon piaba is said to be very peaceful."

Project Piaba attempts to "study the ecological and sociocultural systems of the [Brazilian] mid-Rio Negro basin in order to maintain the ornamental [aquarium] fishery at commercially feasible, and ecologically sustainable levels."

Sherman Dorn and Elizabeth Margareta Griffith wrote a Trekker piaba song, Cube Root, Turnip Root

May 27th, 1999

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