Craig's (really bad) AG Jokes!

* Ben and Floyd are sitting outside the Sheriff's station. A dog comes up, lays down and starts licking his genitals.
Ben says: "I wish I could do that."
Floyd replies: "You better pet him first."



* Did you know Ben and Billy had another trip to the graveyard after digging Lucas up?
Well, they forgot their equipment, so they went back to get it, and took Floyd with them.
But this time there was a pack of wild dogs there, and they chased the guys.
They ran and ran, and finally, Billy had to stop, so he climbed a tree as the other two kept on.
The dogs jumped around the tree, barking and barking. Billy finally went "Hoo! Hoo!"
The dogs thought it was an owl and went off to chase Ben and Floyd.
Ben couldn't run anymore, and climbed a tree as Floyd kept running. The dogs came around, and Ben went "Chirp! Chirp!"
The dogs thought it was a bird and took off after Floyd. He finally climbed a tree, and the dogs came around. Floyd thought and thought, and finally went -- "Mooo!"



Well, *I* was known to pull a joke or two in my time... in the unseen Ring of Fire, Gail visits Lucas B's house while he's not there.
During her visit, a tarantula crawls around in a shot with her. Both Jeff G and I are arachnophobic, but HE had to be in the room with the spider, because of Paige.
Well, I waited until he had come out, and asked him how it was to be in there with the spider.
He said he never took his eyes off it!
Well, then I innocently asked him for a tissue from the box that was in his makeup bag, which had been sitting outside with me the whole time. Jeff reached for the tissue--only to find A BIG RUBBER SPIDER on the box! He jumped a mile!
It was awesome!



Actually--there was a crossdressing incident on the part of Gary...
Well, wardrobe accidentally put the wrong silk shirt in his trailer, and he was putting it on, when he noticed the buttons were on the wrong side.
I razzed him about that one!

Craig on pal Nick Searcy:

"Nick, your overwhelming faith in me is what keeps me going!"

"Nick is Da Man. Da Boozy, Unshaven Man."

"And if by some odd chance you run into Nick near the (Nash Bridges) set -- tell him I sent you to beat him up!"

"I do have a Nick Searcy story --
Nick was closing down a bar near his house, and after it closed, he stumbled out, VERY drunk...
Well, there was this nun outside, and as soon as he bumped into her, he immediately grabbed her and threw her to the ground, twisting her arm behind her...
As they pulled him off, he was yelling: "I thought you'd be stronger than that, Batman!"

Nick Searcy on pal Craig:

"Only in your dreams do you lick the secret center."

"... don't worry, the secret about you and all those children and sheep is safe with me. I know you were just drunk. AGAIN."

Craig's Episode Anecdotes

At last, the moment we've all been waiting for.....
Craig's memories of the numerous episodes!
(A special Thank You to Olga Stewart for providing me with some of these.)

Before you read these, you may want to familiarize yourself with the Episode Guide/Production Details, etc... found at this excellent site: TV Guides - American Gothic

In their proper order:

Ep: A Tree Grows In Trinity

Ep: Eye of the Beholder

Ep: Damned If You Don't

Ep: Dead To The World

Ep: Potato Boy

Ep: Meet the Beetles

Ep: Strong Arm of the Law

Ep: To Hell and Back

Ep: The Beast Within

Ep: Rebirth

Ep: Ring of Fire





New!
AMERICAN GOTHIC Pic Gallery!
Never before seen photos of Craig with cast members!

Subject: AG- Gargoyle Awards: The Final Chapter
Date: Thursday, November 21, 1996 12:12AM

"Good morning Miss Tamastara. The man you're looking at is Shaun Cassidy, a successful writer and producer. Recently, he created a television series called American Gothic, starring this man, Gary Cole. Through the combination of Cassidy's writing talents, and Cole's acting this series quickly caught on around the world. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to have
gargoyle awards for these men designed and created, then delivered. As always, should you or any member of your AG Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck, Tina."

Mission: Accomplished!

Well, everyone, I got confirmation today--both Gary Cole and Shaun Cassidy have received their gargoyle awards!!!

So, breathe a sigh of relief that all of the shipping went well, then pat yourselves on the back. I spoke with Mrs. Cole, and she said that Gary was touched by the award. I also spoke with an assistant in Shaun's office, and she said that he did receive his, but I didn't ask her what he thought of it, since she sounded pretty busy.

I helped get Gary's to him, so I had his gargoyle and plaque here in my apartment for a couple of days. Now, I bought a tiny little gargoyle when I
visited New Orleans earlier this year, and I have to say after opening the box containing Gary's, I found myself with a case of gargoyle envy! That
thing was huge! The plaque was also much larger and nicer than I thought it would be. Golden kudos to Tina Tamastara for her fabulous work in this
regard.

And kudos to everyone else who helped make it happen. You really did something special, guys.

Your proud to know each and every darned one of ya,
Your more than a sandwich, more like a meal AG PA, Craig



For more information on The Gargoyle Awards, including what each one said, go to:
More AMERICAN GOTHIC!!! Page 4

Craig on Gary Cole:

"He is a handsome devil, isn't he?"

Craig's AG Trivia, or, Breakfasts of the Stars!

Okay--let's play some trivia you'll have to guess at--
What was Gary's favorite breakfast in the morning?
It was Nutri-Grain cereal. Lots of it!
Nick really liked spinach quesadillas.
Paige always had two bagels, toasted, with butter and jelly.
Jake liked breakfast burritos, with a cup of English breakfast tea. A catering truck brekfast burrito is HUGE, so amend that to one burrito.
Brenda would either eat fruit, or if she was feeling naughty, a burrito without meat.
Lucas pretty much always went for pancakes and sausage.
Sarah ate stuff she would bring in herself--some kind of restricted diet.
And John Mese never ate breakfast that I know of!

Coffee--let's see if I remember--
Gary--a little creamer
Paige--didn't drink it a lot--but can't remember how she took it.
Jake--preferred tea.
Brenda--a little creamer
Sarah--don't remember if she even drank it!
Lucas--no coffee!
Gary--doesn't drink.
Paige liked an occasional glass of wine.
Jake would nip at some Irish whiskey now and again.
Except for Nick, who is a hopeless alcoholic forever and ever amen!
Brenda liked wine.
Lucas Black liked beer. Well--not really!
But he would do this hilarious drunk act, and always talked about drinking beer.
I'm not sure what Sarah drank.
Some beer for John, I do believe.



Hey all--your starts in any weather AG PA here---to let you know that Lucas Black does have a "real" Southern accent--but that he is from Alabama.
And while we're on the subject of accents--Jake Weber is British, but his father was in the military or something and they lived all over the world,
resulting in a voice mix that is not precisely any one thing. And to me he sounded pretty much like Dr. Matt off the set, so I don't think he was doing
much to his voice, except perhaps softening the British flavor (without actually doing an American accent).

Your got a good ear for these things AG PA, Craig

Craig's Poem before seeing this page:

Shivering, Quivering
Fluttery, Muttery
On pins and needles
Listening to the Beatles
It's really getting hairy
AG starred a guy named Gary
Can't wait to see your page
The non-working reporter was played by Paige
This project has for me a lot at stake
AG had temporarily a guy name Jake
I begin to feel the suspense will never end-a
AG's teacher was played by Brenda
Your web page and me-we're quite a pair-a
The ghostly girl is named Sarah
I hope before I see it the Russkies don't nuke us
AG had a great little kid named Lucas
This waiting is making me almost sick
But then, so does AG deputy Nick
I want to see it before I'm gone
The final AG cast member is John
I hope you like this little verse
And don't view it as a kind of curse.

Send a message to Craig: Remo007@aol.com

.

Comments made about this page:

Nick Searcy:
"Never has so much been made of so little."

Susan:
"It's not so little."

Please visit my other pages!

RAVEN2DOVE's Home Page

Elaine's AMERICAN GOTHIC Montage

RAVEN2DOVE's Entertainment Page: TV & Movies

or....

Elaine's MONSTER Download & Resource Page!

The Write Path: A Writer's Resource Page

Vampire & Halloween Page




Please feel free to email me: rogueisis@aol.com

Photos of Craig provided by the wonderful Stephen Jesson!!
Thank you! Thank you!
If you would like to, email the "Master of Image Capture" Stephen Jesson

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Copyright (c) 1997

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