Stanlosophy

Seeing how people take baths in the bathroom, and wash their hands in the washroom, perhaps we should start calling the men's facilities at Rutgers University "flushrooms." That way, people might actually remember to use those little knobs on top of the urinals.

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is there to see it, would it kill a blind woodsman?

If you lay down four chopsticks side by side, you would get a very dull fork.

A wise man once questioned, "why can one sit in a bed, but not lie in a chair?" That question became less philosophical with the invention of the Lazyboy.

He who can make ice...can make solid water.

There are many fish in the sea, and right now, at least one of them is having diarrhea.

Is a man who reeks of awesomeness not also fulfilled with grovnosity?

Life is like a box of chocolate, and I'm allergic to it.

The brother of a wise man once said, "Reach for the moon. Because even if you miss, you will be among the stars." He was later killed when an astroid fell on his head.

A penny saved is a penny earned. A $100 saved is a $100 waiting to be earned by a mugger.