Serial Dumper

Why Jerry has Dumped Woman

No one is more picky when it comes to dating than Jerry. Over the years, he's struck up relationships with a variety of woman, only to eventually dump them for reasons perhaps only a psychiatrist could understand. Here are some examples why Jerry has dumped women:

* For eating peas one at a time.

* For being liked by his parents.

* For being his soul mate.

* For having been with and dumbed by Newman!

* For suggesting to share his toothbrush.

* For shushing him in front of the TV.

* For not tasting his pie.

* For not giving him a massage.

* For not kissing on the third date.

* For being too altrusic.

* For appearing to own only one dress.

* For having man hands.

* For having bad taste in commercials, Dockers'.

* For laughing like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer.

* For not laughing at all.

* For throwing her tooth brush down the toilet.

* For possibly having fake breasts.

* For not letting him play with her toys.

* For having "two faces" -- attractive in one light, ugly in another.

* For believing she got gonorrhea from a tractor seat.

*For making him choose between seeing her and speaking in an imaginary voice inspired by her belly button.

* For finishing his sentences.

* For being "too perfect" that her friends kept saying, "its so nice he's doing this for her." (Thanks to Schlomo67@aol.com)(Paul)

* For not remembering her name (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* For thinking his standup act is not funny. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* She thought Jerry was lying about being gay. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* For accussing her of kissing his cousin. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* Jerry almost calls Native American girlfriend "Indian Giver." (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* Jerry steals her fungicide. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* Jerry wouldn't eat her Mutton. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* He threatens to tell on her for the hit-and-run. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* Her parents won't allow them to date because they made out during Schindler's List. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* His discount dry cleaning "wife." (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* He couldn't show emotion. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

* For stockpiling cases of Today sponges. (Thanks to PearlJam49@aol.com)(Mark)

*She liked people thinking she was chinese, when she wasn't.(Thanks to Iceangl11@aol.com)(Megan)

*She was too good. (Thanks to Iceangl11@aol.com)(Megan)

If there's any that I left out that you know of, please e-mail me and let me know. Thanks!

Ivy's Seinfeld Page

*Thanks to Entertainment Weekly, May 4, 1998*