Bios - By the SeinBoys!

Sue Ellen Mishke
(Brenda Strong)
Tall, Oh Henry bar heirress, being a "braless wonder," inspired Peterman's "Gatsby Swing Top," nearly outbidded Elaine on JFK's golf clubs, issued Elaine a "unvintaion" to her wedding, made Kramer crash George's car b/c of her cleavage (wearing a bra in public), seducing Jerry (the witness) in her lawsuit, was going to marry Pinter (Elaine's old fling).

Bob Sacamano
Kramers friend we always hear about but never see, went in for a hernia operation and now he talks with a very high pitched voice, tried to undergo shock treatments but they didn't work because his synapses were too big, worked at a condom factory, had rabies, sold fur hats, Decided to attach a piece of elastic to a paddle and rubber ball.

Kenny Bania
(Stephen Hytner)
An annoying comedian. Loves Mendy's restaurant, the soup! Favors banal routines about Ovaltine and shopping carts with one bad wheel. Tries to get free meals out of Jerry, in an exchange for an unwanted Armani suit. Dates one of Jerry's exes ("Toothbrush in the toliet" Jenna).

David Puddy
(Patrick Warburton)
Auto mechanic, the only honest one in New York. Car dealer. Lazy, dumb, stares a lot. Loves the New Jersey Devils. A recovering germaphobe. Listens to Christian music and has a Jesus fish on his car. Knows how to install a disposal (clarkman) for a shower. Is a face painter. Loves Arby's! Doesn't care that Elaine will go to hell. Fights with Elaine one too many times. Loves dip (why can't it be a meal?). Wears a man-fur then switches to the 8-ball because he saw Jerry wearing it and he looked like a "dandy. Steals Jerrys "move." Excessive high-fiving, and waffling Jerry on a Saab deal.

Crazy Joe Davola
(Peter Crombie)
Gets sprayed with cherry binaca by Elaine, dated Elaine, transformed his apartment into a creepy shrine to Elaine. Stalked Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine - threatened them with violence. A t.v. writer, chemically unbalanced, obsessed with Elaine and opera, sensitive to party slights, prone to quoting John Wilkes Booth.

Mr. Justin Pitt
(Ian Abercrombie)
Morgan Springs water board member. Entranced by 3-D art posters. Was Elaine's boss. Very childish. Forbids ink in his office (prefers ring pencils with the finest points). Eats his Snicker bars with a knife and fork. Obsessed with finding the perfect socks! Helped carry a Woody Woodpecker balloon at a Thanksgiving parade (that Elaine won for him), Got sick because Jerry gave him the wrong medicine. Picks the salt off pretzels by hand! Revoved Elaine from his will.

Tim Whatley
(Bryan Cranston)
A Dentist. Attented school with John Voight (the periodontist), attractive yet creepy. Didn't invite Jerry to his Thanksgiving eve party. He possibly molested Jerry while he was sedated. De-gifted Super Bowl tickets, re-gifted a label maker. He converted to Judaism and always make Jewish jokes.

Poppie
(Reni Santoni)
Owner of Poppie's Restaurant. Staunch anticommunist (his adored mother was killed by them in Greece). Makes a nice duck! Urinated on Jerry's new couch. Served Jerry food after using the bathroom and did not wash his hands. He will not permit the lowly cucumber on the duo's make-your-own pizzas!

Uncle Leo
(Len Lesser)
A retired, old grouch. Kindhearted, yet utterly corrupt. Guilty of trashpicking and shoplifting, with a prior conviction for a "crime of passion." Adores Jerry, but not as much as cousin Jeffrey. Believes in an anti-Semitic conspiracy. Blew off his eye brows. Always shows up at Jerry's at inconvenient moments. Snitches to Jerry's parents, killing him with kindness. Would not give Helen Seinfeld $50 he owed her since 1941.

Jackie
A very tricky and clever Attorney for Kramer and eventually the entire Seinfeld gang. Has connections with Dr. Bison and keeps getting Kramer an appointment with him. Also has a secretary named Suzie who seems to do all his personal matters. Has many "public humiliations" with Kramer. He seems to always get Kramer off but Kramer always ruins it for him, money wise. But not to mention, he yells at Kramer about putting the balm on. Slept with one of Jerry's old girlfriends, Sindra (they're real and they're spectacular).

Newman
(Wayne Knight)
Kramer's mistevious friend who is Jerry's worst enemy. Him Elaine and Kramer got arrested for kidnapping a loud dog. Caught Jerry on an insurance fraud and George in "some sort of mail pornography ring." Had an unbelievable Birthday wish hot streak, wish included getting a supermodel as a girlfriend. This guy and Jerry made an alliance to try and help him transfer to Hawaii. Got on his knees to beg Jerry to take him to Paris. Not to mention, he sat on a fork. He's a lazy, Postal worker known as The Fat Man, Two-Legged Weasel, Mojambo. He loves Drake's Coffee Cakes, and would eat "Baked Kramer." His areas of expertise includes climbing trees, eating, and lying. Some of his phobias are Publisher's Clearinghouse Day, Jerry (will do anything to get him mad!), fruit (he won't eat the stuff), and broccoli. Dreams that one day the post office will transfer him to Hawaii. Also, to open a fleet of Rickshaw's in New York City. He does not go to the beach because he freckles. He once had an affair with Kramer's Mother, Babs. He extremely loves Kenny Roger's Chicken and would do anything to get his hands on some. He too has not paid a parking ticket in 20 years. He also lives in apartment 5E. He's pure evil, wrapped in a twinlie.

Susan Ross
Was an NBC Programming Executive. Dated George, and then was engaged to him. Intelligent, mature, with the patience of a saint (she lived with George) briefly experimented with lesbianism ("it didn't take"); blessed with an early death after ingesting toxic envelope glue from her wedding invitations (gotta do it the cheap way!). Agreed to marry George, then, in death screwing him out of millions of dollars. Also had a doll that resembled George's mom. Doesn't like Kramer, finds him repulsive.

Mickey
Short, cute actor (jobs included All My Children and Punky Brewster stand-in and department store elf). Very competitive and feisty (he's taken on offenders twice his size); tendency to heighten (add lifts); successfully portrayed the Hamlet of diseases, bacterial meningitis. Parents look suspiciously like Robert Wagner and Jill St. John. Gets upset easily - Kramer by marrying Karen (who really wanted Kramer) instead of Julie (who wanted him).

The Rosses
We don't hear anything about jobs, but do know they have money (we're talking old money). Parents to Susan and Ricky; incessant bickerers; his love is reserved for the "work" of John Cheever, cigars, and his father's cabin (which was burnt down because of Kramer); her booze and other people's misfortunes (especially his). Annoyed with George by their condescension, guilt-tripping him in a Hamptons lie…and the Costanzas for not serving their maybe rye (or even a piece of cake) at dinner.

Lomez
Similar to Bob Sacamano. We learn in The Fatigues that Lomez usually organizes the Jewish singles night. Kramer states that Lomez is an Orthodox Jew, "Old School". Lomez was in the Port-a-Potty (The Betrayal). He trades some steaks for stereo speakers (The Package). And he sold Kramer his hot tub (The Hot Tub).

Babu
Pakistani restaurant tour who had a restaurant across the street from Jerry, called "The Dream Cafe." Eventually went broke after Jerry told him to "change it Pakistani, but no one came!" Jerry got him an apartment in his building. But soon got deported because of Jerry and Elaine (well not really, his papers just got put in the wrong slot). "Very very bad man." And in the Finale testified against the group. He said they kept on mocking and mocking him. "Send them away!" He also has a very large index finger.

Soup Nazi
Native of Afghanistan who can make some excellent soup. Became good friends with Kramer. Gave Kramer an armoire when he heard that Kramer's friend had it stolen. Then only to find out the friend was the one he banned from his store for a year: Elaine. Eventually he was put out of business because of Elaine, finding his secret recipes. Testified against the group in the Finale.

Jimmy
The Jimmy! Jimmy likes Elaine! Jimmy has the hots for you! Jimmy can jump! He talks in third person, kind of annoying. Has these really weird looking shoes. Got George into wearing them, but couldn't jump as high as Jimmy! Went out with Elaine, kind of tricked her in a way because of the way he talks. Slipped on Kramer's drull in the locker room and broke his leg. Was mad at Kramer because he could not jump, he had to in order to sell the shoes. Tried to beat Kramer up at the dinner with Mel Torme, the singer.

Donald - The Bubble Boy
Huge Jerry Seinfeld fan. Him and his father would sit around and watch him on TV His father came to Monk's and found Jerry and Elaine sitting there. He told them the story about his son, the Bubble Boy. The father talked Jerry to come out and see his son, to cheer him up. Jerry and Naomi go with George and Susan to Susan's father's cabin, they figure they will meet with the Bubble Boy up there. George started to speed the whole way there (to make good time) and Jerry got lost. So George and Susan showed up early and took on the Bubble Boy in a soon to be classic game of trivial pursuit. Then, there was the classic question to which the Bubble Boy answered "It's the Moors." Only to find that the card had the misspelling of "The Moops, I'm sorry the card says Moops." Eventually George and the Bubble Boy got into a fight that sent the Bubble Boy to the hospital and George and the group running from the towns people.

Sidra
Jerry's girlfriend who he meets at the Health Club. Jerry gets into this big deal when Elaine tells him that she thinks "they're fake." Jerry later breaks up with her saying that "he is going back to another girlfriend that is mentally ill." Then Elaine gets up to try and shake her hand, but falls and "touches them" to find out that they're real. Jerry later calls her back and sets up and date. Starts a conversation about Jane Mansfield to try to get her to talk about them. Kramer later walks in wanting to borrow Jerry's bathing suit. Elaine then walks in and there entire plan is messed up. She leaves Jerry by saying "They're real, and they're spectacular."

Mr. Haymen - George's gym coach
George's gym coach back in High School. He would make fun of him and call him such names like "Can't Stand Ya." He would give George wedgies, sometimes atomic. Eventually was fired because of George rating on him. About 25 yrs later, George sees a homeless man sitting on the steps to the library. George thinks it could be his old gym coach! So one day he goes down to talk to him, the man says nothing. George starts to walk away and he gives George an ATOMIC wedgie. It is later found out that he had the book "Tropic of Cancer" that Jerry had checked out for 25 years.

Mr. Bookman
Library cop that tracks down Jerry for an overdue book from 25 years ago, Tropic Of Cancer. He acts like a typically New York cop, except he is a library cop. Catches Kramer and his new library lady girlfriend yelling in the library. Gives them a strict talking to then leaves, as quickly as he came. Loves coffee, even the freezed dried stuff. Doesn't like tea on the other hand.

Mike
Early on in the shows run, Jerry finds out that the mystery man thinks Jerry is a phony. Kramer wasn't supposed to tell Jerry but, he begged Kramer to tell. He interacts with George to when he won't give up his parking spot to George when he went in front first and George backed up. Later on in the series, Jerry meets him again but this time it is much worse. First Kramer bets $100 for Jerry on the Knicks game, then he can''t pay Jerry so he fixes Jerry's trunk. But by accident Jerry slams his thumbs and breaks them. Later he accidentally gets locked in the truck and hears Jerry and Elaine talking about how they killed Suzie. He later walking in on Suzie's "funeral" and says that it was Jerry who killed Suzie.

The Maestro or Bob Cobb
This mystery man currently has a house in Tuscany where according to him, there is nothing else available:
Jerry: Nothing? I can't get a hotel? a sublet? a cot? Nothing?
Him: It's booked solid
He's the conductor for the Policeman's Philharmonic Orchestra and he also borrowed the idea to not wear his pants before a performance. Also, Kramer borrowed something of his so that Kramer and Frank could play pool. Other odd point, George thinks his real name is weird. When Kramer gets his burn, he gives Kramer a balm to try and help heal it.

Rusty
He was given to Kramer for him to take care of. When Kramer buys to much stuff at the store, he feeds him a healthy plate of some Beefereno. Later when Kramer and his new friend take Susan's parents on a handsome cab ride, he kind of gets a little case of gas and starts to stink up the place. His smell also causes Jerry to not be able to breathe so he can throw the Rye up to George. In a later episode he is mentioned again by Kramer when talking to a man.

Author Owen Marks
For this weeks mystery man you're going to have to think back in the early Seinfeld days. This guy dated Elaine for a while. Jerry thought that it wasn't right for Elaine to be going out with him, even though he is a famous writer. Later in the episode he collapses on his way up to Jerry's apartment. They call 911, but the ambulance couldn't get there because of "Some short guy running around parking cars." Later in the episode, Elaine is back at his apartment helping him with his chores. Elaine tells him, "I love paying your bills, doing your laundry. Good stuff! Good stuff!" But she breaks up with him because it is just to much for her. Later she sees him in the Subway and finds out that he only used her for sex.

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