Things not to say to cops

• I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
• Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
• Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
• Hey, you must've been doing' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
• Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
• I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
• I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
  Bad cop! No donut!
• You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
• Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
• Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops ?
• Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's lightstand.
• Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
• What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
• Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
• Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?
• When the cop asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Reply, "Why the hell did you pull me over if you don't even know how fast I was going?"
• Did you know the donut shop is having a sale? Go boy go!

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