TEEN YEARS


[IMAGE]

I am still working on this section of my life. Suffice it to say that my time in New York City was the most impactful time in my whole life. It cemented the confidence that had emerged.

Date Rape + 9


What I remember best about High School, Was the drugs.. the sex and the gang bangs…
The teachers played the game don’t ask don’t tell, way before any government had coined the phrase..
And the parents thought the only problem we kids had was alcohol and teen pregnancy.. They had no fucking idea…
The thing about the parties is that it was a gamble. If you where a girl that is..
You could go...But the thing is you risked being the next gang bang of that week end..
So in spite of my "popularity" I choose to keep my pussy to myself and stay at home.. Without fail that Monday following a week end party; stories of a girl’s first ride into hell, buzzed through out the hallways..
It never failed and everyone spoke of the one who lost her cherry courtesy of the niners. as they were coined.
A Drink spiked, left the chosen one paralyzed for the few hours they would need to perform their acts. It was a free for all…
The rest of the crowd just turned away..
Good old fashioned red blooded American boys in the pursuit of truth ,justice and happiness or whatever that crap is …
I mean think of it, Our English lit teacher, took a girl under "His Wing" ever year, Picking out the girl for the season, as one would pick out a new suit.. A new babe to ball.
With a school of only 250 students total, no one was ignorant of any of these facts I share with you today.
New York in 79 was lets just say, a place were the world's real ness happened…
Perhaps the attitude was at least you didn’t get gang banged by strangers in Central park, at least you know these boys…Who knows what type of family values these people’s morals worked under.
Still, Don’t get me wrong there were other parties..
Some rich kids threw parties at their large palatial apartments, parents nowhere to be seen, and bowls of coke were served up as hors d’oeuvres, and kids would snort and drink ,fuck and puke..
Being that I was mixed, and the only female in school to be so…Provided my friends with perfect solution for my dating.. after all though certain guys in the school had made it quite clear that to wrestle me would be a pleasure and since I had, lets just say sampled some pretty good offers. I was still taboo and hence a lose cannon so to speak.
So, I was relegated to my own kind, you might say.
I accepted the only peer pressure I would ever allow myself to fall under..
I started dating a gorgeous football player, mixed a kid by the name of Peter De Luca. There was absolutely no chemistry for me. But I like to think that the glass is half full, and since I had been reading Anais Ninn & other eroticas; I figured why not practice what I had been reading. I figured, what the hell , here was a perfect subject… Believe me when I say that sex for me was at that time a training ground.
I did not go after it in the romantic manner most girls my age pursued it.
I was learning how to use my tools.
I loved the power these war games afforded me. I would tease tortures and suck and watch with detached fascination what made them tick, what made them tremble beneath my hands.. Peter in this case was no different, he loved it when I sucked and licked his ear, he shivered in my arms, and I loved the power of making his cock hard..
One-week end I was invited as always to one of "those parties", as usual I declined that Monday I came to school. Went to the bathroom to catch up on idle chat and put on some more lipstick changing my flats to wear my high fuck me boots..
When Roseanne walked in and said "I was raped this week end" she laughed as if she had just shared the punchline of a joke with me…I stared at her reflection and searched her eyes.
I saw that she was in shock and didn’t know how to digest what had happened…
I carefully asked her to share the details, and with precise coldness her voice detached from her body she spoke of that night. She was seeing a boy whose twin was also in the football team, and the twin she had a crush on started making love to her it was going to be her first time, and she wanted him to be the one…The drink he had given her began affect her in strange ways, she started losing control of her body. When the twin was done with her he had his brother try her out for size, when he was done, the rest of the team was summoned into the bedroom, She could not feel her body and she could not speak" She was yelling stop! But no sound came out of her mouth ….
She was a soul caught within the frozen web of the drugs they had slipped her....
Tears of rage fell from my eyes..
I told her that she need to tell somebody, that she needed to fucking get their asses..
She shook her head now afraid of the possible repercussion..
You See the control society has over girls is that no matter what happens when it comes to sex we are always the ones that are responsible…. It’s always our fault..This situation was, it would turn out ,not to be any different
She told her father who flew in from Texas, I found out later that he treated her like a slut.
But the best part is, guess who got kicked out of school?
You don’t have to be a gambler on this one....believe me it’s a no brainer…
A few weeks later I found out who else had been in the chain..
Peter.. I didn’t give a fuck that he had fucked another girl, I mean I wish that’s all he had done.. But he hadn’t .
That same son of Bitch’s tongue, that rapists tongue had French kissed mine.
I mean lets face it folks its high school, I wasn’t planning to marry the guy..
As I had said he was just a practice run… Still, what pissed me off was that he was a fucking scum, and he had raped a young girl..I walked through the halls raging with a vengeance for every girl that had been gang raped in this school.. in the world..
I entered the class he was in and without any regard to the teacher conducting the class, I pulled him out… No one said a word I guess the look in my eyes spoke volumes…
"I need to talk" I told him, my hands itched to punch him in the face and lay him out.. God if I was a man I would have kicked his dirty ass…
"You raped Roseanne" I stated loudly…..He was shocked unable to utter a word, and then he opened his mouth, first mistake. I swung my hand back and with an open palm contacted it across his mouth, the sound of the crack made me smile with demonic pleasure which came from the pleasure of the release. Still, I was relentless "You son of a bitch you fucking rapist, you piece of shit, you can’t get your own pussy you have to rape with 9 guys. You fuck, you fuck !" and again I hit him across the face, the imprint of my hand was well defined upon his slim face… He began to weep, I left him standing in the hallway alone…..
He tried to call me a few times, when I heard the sound of his voice I simply hung the receiver.
By the time 12th grade rolled around the following year, Peter had disappeared.. But the gangbangs hadn’t.. .And the English teacher had a new toy to play with…

Bien Dans Ma Peau



I miss walking in the streets of New York..
Its not like walking through Paris, Paris has a different scent… it’s a different Woman…
New York is a hermaphrodite, with the complete anatomy to satisfy any one who wants to taste and caress its limbs..
To really walk in New York, to experience it’s vibe, to know its seductive powers, you have to roam at night after 10 o’clock.. That’s when the city sheds her suit to show of his secrets, some sordid, some dangerous, all sexy though..
Always sexy, my pussy would cream from the friction of my tight jeans and I could feel the moistness escape me…A freedom emerged….
90th and 3rd gave me ample room, and my promenade began at a slow jaunt, I saw nothing special , my eyes glazed over; the night lights shimmered like a jewelry box that had been left open for me to plunder..
Wearing my cowboy boots, feeling them rock me like a rocking chair…
I would ride the wave that toke me.. bumping me against shoulders I did not see.
Smelling the sweat of the summer air..
It was the people I loved to feel…And when I had had enough I would simply make my way to Park Avenue…No one walked there this late at night.
It was crazy but I figured the doormen knew me and it was cool..
My body shivered from the humidity and a shudder wrapped my skin,
a cool fever that clung like an embrace..
And then I would retrace my steps, gliding the concrete canvas that was this town.
I was really one with myself then, comfortable in my own power, *Bien dans ma peau..
Once a guy started chasing me… I started running a hunter hunted.
I lost him stepping neatly into a dark doorway watching him pursue my shadow..
I miss the feeling my legs gave me as I strode.
The crap that flew out of my soul as I breathed the air; to stick to the roofs of this town, hanging above my head, like gargoyles watching me flee…


* Good in my skin

THE ONE

I awoke from a slumber.. The kind that tingles the body of a seventeen year girl, the kind that engorges the vulva with the hot moist promise of a lover.. She was climbing over me and stopped caught by the languorous look in my eyes and leaned against me, her face inches from mine, her long blond hair dangling over my shoulder, caressing my cheek….
I could feel the heat of her lips and I thought, paused, and then whispered
"I want the first time to be with a man". Her eyes closed, hiding the turquoise promise of her passions. She sighed "I understand". She slid climbed over me and swung her long golden legs over the bed. Quickly walking to the closet, to dress for School…
I watched her wondering what I was afraid of, and did not pursue the thought further..


THE MEMOIRS OF AN ECLIPSE

ECLIPSE
The Beginning
THIS INCARNATION

TRIUMPHS

TEEN YEARS

TEEN THOUGHTS

ASIA

THRESHOLD

TRANSFORMATION

SACRILEGE

BIOGRAPHY