THE VIEW FROM HERE.
by Edward D. H. Tash

I've always dreamed of writing a great review of a soon to be classic in a major publication. This is my chance, and the book I've chosen is none other than -- 'The Complete Book of Beer Drinking Games' by Andy Griscom, Ben Rand and Scott Johnston.

Okay, so this book will never be a classic, I'll never be a great reviewer and the 'Dog' is read by less than a hundred people. I still had a good time reading the book and writing this review.

This is a book about memories of a time when drinking quantity was more important than drinking quality. All of us went through that stage at one point of our lives. Those that survived without
doing serious damage to themselves should take time out to realize we are the sum total of our past. (So don't laugh too hard at those who only drink swill1, we were once part of that scene.)

The book starts out with the disclaimer: 'Don't Drive Drunk', good advice, but it takes a full page of text to explain why. I'll bet the publisher's lawyer insisted on it, in an attempt to cover their asses.

After the disclaimer the book starts right into two subjects I can support: drinking beer and having fun. It contains fifty beer-drinking games, grouped by boot factors one through five (how much throwing up the game will cause). Each bame is designed to give the players an excuse to consume large quantities of beer.

Although this is no longer my goal when drinking, it did remind me of the fun times I had getting thoroughly trashed. The most popular drinking game -- Quarter Bounce (boot factor three) -- is explained with detailed rules. Reading the rules to quarter bounce brought back a few great memories. I learned to play this game at a close friend's bachelors party. I lost and had a hell of a hangover the next morning. I was also in the wedding two weeks later. My friend will celebrate his tenth wedding anniversary this June.

The one game I wish I knew about ten years ago is called 'The Muffin Man' (boot factor one). The object of this game is for two players to each balance a full cup of beer on their heads and in unison, scream a nursery rhyme. The first one whose beer falls off not only gets wet but must chug the other's beer. In other words you get drunk while singing 'Mary had a little lamb' (what could be more wholesome).

Sandwiched between the games are some great lists of nonsense. Some of these lists would make David Letterman proud. My favorite is the foreign term for hangover. I'm not sure if they are real or made up, but the translation seem accurate to me (or so I've been told).

Eight Foreign Terms For "Hangover"
1. katzenjammer (German for "the wailing of cats")
2. stonato (Italian for "out of tune")
3. la gueule de dois (French for "woody snout")
4. resaca (Spanish for "surf of the sea")
5. jeg har tommermann (Norwegian for "workmen in my head")
6. ont i haret (Swedish for "pain in the roots of my hair")
7. irie Rasta coco ganja (Jamaican for "stoned Rastafarian trying to split my coconut")
8. so to gi ko-ho! (Vietnamese for "water buffalo plowing inside my head")

Another of the lists is of what it takes to make a classic bar. They did a good try with it but for a much better list read my article in the 'Dog' (Number 29, Feb 1993)

The essays scattered through the book are truly funny. One details a trip to fern bar. The author is suffering from a massive hangover and finds himself surrounded by ferns, wine spritzers and Barry Manilow muzak (Authors's note: I'd rather be forced to drink hot Budweiser and eat dirt than be caught in a fern bar).

Another details the mythical 'Road Trip'. Complete with a trip to the liquor store, the rules of the road and the adventures found along the way. Those who have had this pilgrimage know that road trips are seldom the great time we make them out to be, but lying and bragging about them is. This is all part of the 'Road Trip Myth' and long may the myth live.

To fill in empty spaces the authors have included quotes (sound familiar?). My favorite is by the late poet and etymologist John Ciardi who wrote in 'The Saturday Review' "there is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation". The authors also have included bits of beer history and trivia.

It appears that the authors spent their years of college doing research for this book. It should be admired when anyone can turn drunken debauchery into a profitable enterprise.

I obviously liked the book and recommend its reading. Please leave me out of your plans to play any of these games, but let me know the results (or better yet write an article for the 'Dog').

I found a copy of 'The Complete Book of Beer Drinking Games' at Hawley-Cooke bookstore for $5.95 (a cheap read).
___________________________
1 Swill, to swallow large drafts; to drink greedily. -n. Drink taken in large quantities; liquid food give to swine.

Back to Main Page
View From Here 03 - Bar Bets