THE VIEW FROM HERE.
by Edward D. H. Tash
I like the raffle we have at the FOSSILS meetings each month. It's fun to watch a first time member buy $5 worth of tickets and then proceed to win 7 items. It's great when the raffle item is so stupid, that no one wants to admit they won the damn thing.
My luck at the raffle sometimes is pretty bad and sometimes is great. I usually win a beer of one kind or another and I did win the right to pick to Falls of the Ohio Brick. It evens it's self out, so I get my moneys worth.
The best items are always of the garage sale or flea market quality and reminds me of the old saying of 'One mans junk, is another mans treasure'. I propose that we give a beer (or extra tickets) to the person who brings in the most unusual item for each months raffle. This would promote the raffle, which after all supports our drinking habit. So the next time you clean out the garage or attend a cheap flea market, keep the raffle in mind.
In the tradition of Late Night with David Letterman, I give you The Top Ten - Things found in a FOSSILS Raffle.
10. A date with the St. Pauli Girl or the Bartles and James guy's (winners choice).
9. Gift certificate to Tatoos Charlie's.
8. Box of condoms (complete with a six-pack of aphrodisiac beer).
7. The legal rights to brew and sell Oertels 92 beer.
6. Toilet paper with Budweiser and Miller logos.
5. Back Stage passes to Spinal Tap.
4. A hangover Cure that really works.
3. Tickets to the Dan Quayle Museum and Taxidermy Shop.
2. Beer (that's what we're here for).
(Sfx: Drum Roll)
And the Number 1 Thing found in a FOSSILS Raffle; Get to host to the FOSSILS Christmas Party at your house.
Okay, enough of the silliness, now I have another suggestion for the raffle- ban Anheuser-Busch merchandise. Since, A-B as been decided to slam homebrewers in a radio commercial. We must stop supporting a market for their products and by not advertising the product for them. I know that our refusing to use A-B products may not change a damn thing, but the idea could catch on with other beer clubs and this could cause a small ripple. Please, give this some thought and let your opinion be known. I would like to see this issue put up to a vote.
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View From Here 14 - Cold Beer in the Old West