Stories and Advice

When I put my page out there for Homesick South Africans I had no idea how many e-mails I would get from people who were moving to the USA (or other countries too), planning to do so or just thinking about it.  The opposite is also true as people asked me if I thought South Africa was a good place to visit or what I thought about going back home.  I found myself giving similar advice over and over and have decided to create these pages in order to give a whole lot of information to those of you who need it, while at the same time trying to provide items and stories of interest to those of you looking for some unusual viewpoints, anecdotes or just a good yarn.  Much of it is generic and could apply to a move anywhere, but some of it is specific to the USA.  I have separated it all out into titled sections to make it easier to choose those parts which are of interest to you.  Now since I am in the litigious capital of the world and don't want to be sued, let me stress that this is not holy parchment but merely a collection of opinions and advice that you must use at your own discretion.  Always do as much research and homework as possible in order to be as prepared as possible, I cannot emphasis this enough.  Look for other opinions, as many as you can, allowing you to make the best possible decision.  The last section is one where those of you who wish to add to this list can add your advice or disagreement to a special guestbook  that I set up especially for you.

Things to do before you come over

Things to be prepared for, both before you leave and after you get there

Things to do once you get here

Places to go for more help

Reasons to stay in/go back to South Africa

Reasons to leave South Africa

Advice for Spouses of Visa holders

Advice for kids and teens leaving South Africa

Advice for those left behind

Add your advice, opinion or disagreement, or see what others have said

 Things to do before you come over

Whether you plan to come over for a year or for good there are basic common sense things you ought to know.  I have conversationally put as many of them down as I can think of and I will continue to add new points as they come up or as I remember ones I forgot to mention previously.  It's been over three years since I came over as a Computer Consultant so it's been a while since I was concerned with all this but let me give it a go.  

Credit rating.  Well, let's see then, actually most important is your credit rating, when you get here you have none. In the USA the rest of the world does not exist and this applies to everything from what's in the news through personal history. Your lifetime of great credit behaviour means nothing at all here and it can be a shock to find out that a bad credit rating can still be seen to be a better credit rating that no credit rating.  What helped me a little bit, just a teensy weeny bit, was getting a letter from my Bank Manager saying that I was a really good guy and as trustworthy as Santa Claus.  I also managed to get a letter from ITC, the biggest credit rating company in RSA also with USA links, saying that my credit history in South Africa was impeccable.  It's not worth much, but it's something.  I'm not sure about the legalities involved but it can also be an idea to bring your credit cards over as backup (Visa and MasterCard are world-wide) and also get your bank to increase your limits as much as possible and find out about the legalities of putting spare cash in too, for emergencies. Let me emphasise that I'm not sure about legalities with Credit Cards as I'm out of touch with RSA law, if it applies at all which it might not.

As to the rest, well here I go in no particular order.

Medical.  Ok I found it useful to bring over my medical and dental records which my new doctors appreciated and of course I benefited too.  You might want to bring sufficient supplies of simple and special medications as medicines and rules for what needs prescriptions here are different to what you are used to.  Things like antacids, pain pills, certain creams and such are plentiful here but not all good.  A supply of your own can be helpful until you find stuff that works.  Things you used to get over the counter might now require a prescription.  Like the old boy scout rule says: be prepared.  Also be aware that the same medicines and even the chemicals in them can have totally different names here, for instance don't expect anything but a blank look if you ask for Paracetamol.  Panado is similar to Tylenol.  Try asking your pharmacist to tell you about American alternatives to common medications you use, before you come over.  Make sure you see your doctor and dentist just before you leave.  Get all prescriptions filled in full.  Get your eyes checked, do it all as it will mean less for you to worry about over here.

Clothing.  Main thing, get Woolworths underwear, or whatever you are used to as many of us have struggled to find decent stuff here.  Every time someone goes back home on holiday they get asked to bring underwear back and you know how much they want it even to broach this somewhat delicate matter.  Remember that it gets pretty cold here.  If you are going to be in the North, actually anywhere outside of Florida and California (just about), then bring all your winter clothes and thermal underwear. Then be prepared to buy new jackets, socks and boots if it's a cold place, and that applies to much of the country.  The coldest winter I ever experienced, at that time, was my first autumn in Chicago.  Believe me, what winter clothes you have will help you but will not be enough.  Bring enough to get you by until you can get to a store and get some real winter clothes.  The day I left Iowa the temperature was -50 F below with wind chill, that's cold enough to kill you quite quickly, so cold it makes breathing hurt your lungs.  Don't let me scare you, they are geared up for that weather here, but you will need thermal undies, a great winter jacket and good gloves.  Look up your new city/town on the Web (check my Utilities Page for search engines) and find out all you can about it, size, people, maps, weather, culture, etc. Forewarned is forearmed. Try to contact some locals and ask for advice, sometimes this is possible and it's always helpful.  They can tell you the best places to get clothes at good prices.  Never worry about asking for help and advice, be it in person, on the phone or via e-mail.  Americans mostly are very helpful and friendly (and they will love your accent).

Money.  The exchange rate sucks, I have no advice for you there. In fact I send money home all the time and the bank takes a chunk.  It paid off my bond though, plus I keep paying off policies, etc. Bringing cash over can really ease your transition, though I have noticed bouts of depression from some as they see money that took them an age to save, disappear in a flash.  General rule of thumb in the USA, electronics and machines are cheaper here but services are more expensive.  I suspect that this will be true in most first world countries.  This means that when you get here you will find it cheaper to get a car, TV, VCR, Hi-Fi, etc.  It also means that you will pay more than you expect for a doctor, a haircut and so on.  The value of the currency is also not on a par with the exchange rate, if it's 6:1 it does not mean that something you pay R6 for will cost $1.  When I came over I found that the "effective" exchange rate was about two and a half to one rather than the official four to one, but it's been 3 years so I'm not sure anymore.  An excellent page for finding out what the exchange rate is today is the OANDA currency converter or check out South Africa Online's page.  Check out Web-sites and such for price checks on basic foods, electronics, a six-pack, cars, house or rent prices and so on.  I set up a USA shopping price list in November 1998 which you can check out for everything from food to cars.  Compare these numbers to what you earn so as to be prepared for how to budget in a new currency.  You can never do enough homework.

Buying a car.  This can be tricky; sometimes it's easier to go for a lease. Here in the USA everyone will try to rip you off, it's the way of life here. If I can pay you $25 per hour for a $45 per hour job I will. If I can charge you $10,000 extra for a car and give you a 25% interest rate when you should never pay more than 8% then I will. It's the American way, there are no rules.  If you sell your grandmother it is morally OK as long as you make a good profit.  It seems like I'm exagerating doesn't it? Well not entirely.  You and all other naive ignorant foreigners are the "sucker born every minute". So many of us get screwed, by our agents, by salesmen, hell even by our doctors, it's just not funny. Be savvy, aware and negotiate. Never assume you know everything, hell never assume you know anything, the rules are different here. Ask for advice all the time, particularly from people in your area like your work mates.  Check the Web, magazines or wherever and be educated. Always do your homework; it's good to know as much as possible.  Also there is a lot of help to be found in the yellow pages, advice lines are under many categories, like car buying, so use them.  In the USA, a car company called Saturn is the only company I know that does not indulge in negotiating, one price fits all.  They also make one of the best USA made cars in their class. Petrol here is called Gas (Gasoline) and is very cheap.  It will cost you around $10 to $15 to fill up your car, a pleasant change from RSA.  I have driven to places spending about $20 that would have cost me $600 to fly to.

Homesickness.  I set up my page to give South Africans a taste of home because in another country, particularly this one (USA), you will very quickly lose your culture and much that is precious to you. That is largely unavoidable but we all cling feverishly to our roots and gather together whenever possible. I watched the Tri-Nations on the Web getting only results.  I followed the Soccer World Cup, Cricket games and more on the Web too.  Certain things are just not possible so if you have any pride and love for South Africa let me list some suggestions.  Bring over as much RSA music as you can, all the stuff you like and good background music for social functions.  Bring over T-shirts with RSA flags, logos, themes, sports logos and so on.  Bring a flag.  Friends of mine brought over a huge one which they put up outside their house.  I'll tell you, it always made their house easy to find for a braai.  Don't bring videos unless you are prepared to spend more getting a VCR that can play USA and RSA videos, as we are not on the same system.  If you are going to get one then bring videos over by all means.  Bring some African curios and African style ornaments and carvings.  They will give your house an exotic flavour to your USA guests but will mean more to you than you think.  Bring recipe books over by all means but bear in mind that different grains, meats, water and such will mean that even recipes you have used for years might need to be reworked.  It will be worth it though.  Don't bring over electronics unless you have to.  TVs are not compatible and they have a different kind of electricity here.  If you do bring something electrical over be sure to get a converter for the electric plug, you will have to anyway as the plugs are shaped very differently.  Bring other RSA stuff if you can like a carved wooden pen, coasters, serviette holders or whatever.  I must keep emphasising how much these will mean to you if and when you miss home.  Bring any spare coins and notes with you, they are great conversation pieces and nice to have.  If you are fussy or particular then bring your favourite toiletries in decent supply; soap, shampoo, toothpaste and such are plentiful but some experimenting is sometimes needed before finding a new favourite.  Bring some Peri-Peri with you and other Southern-African spices.  You probably will struggle to find them here, if at all.  Don't bring biltong, it might get confiscated.  Foodstuffs are always a risk but biltong is one customs watch out for in particular.  A friend of mine got fishpaste through customs by saying that it was for medicinal purposes.  Yes that's right, they have no idea what it is here.  You will also miss a lot of other RSA spreads and not just Marmite.  Bring RSA pictures and/or calendars, boy do we love having a view of African scenes after a while.  

Pets.  If you are coming to the USA then bring your pets over, it's not too pricey, there is no quarantine and pet food is reasonably priced here.  For the UK and many other countries be aware that your pet may have to spend up to six months in quarintine.  Do some homework to find out the particulars of your destination country.  In some of these countries you will love the pet supermarkets and huge range of pet goods.  It might be better to get family to send your pets after you as that will give you pressure-free time to find appropriate lodging as not all places will allow pets.  Friends who brought animals over have commented on how wonderful it was to have such a tangible and comforting reminder of home, particularly for any stay-at-home spouses.

Documentation.  Bring your CV (a copy on disk too), called a resume' here in the USA, all the certificates and qualifications you have, even if they seem silly.  Bring birth certificates, ID books (has your licence too), marriage certificates and all such documentation.  Some you need when you least expect them, others you may never need.  One thing is for sure though - if you need them and you don't have them then you are up a creek without a paddle for sure.  Also be sure to bring all documents do with your visa.  Keep all documents and forms that you have to fill in on the flight and when you enter the country.  In particular I was advised to take the stubs from my I94 form (fill in on airplane) and the I797B or it's equivalent that was attached to my visa approval, and staple them into my passport on the page my visa was stamped.  It has paid off for me whenever I needed to leave the country, as it is so easy to forget that vital piece of paper.

Keeping in Touch.  A difficult reality to face is that most people you leave behind will correspond only infrequently or not at all.  Your life will change drastically but their whole world will largely be just the same as it ever was.  Chances are that keeping in touch will be more valuable to you than to them, so in all likelihood you will have to make the greater effort.  The conventional methods are great, namely phone calls, letters and postcards.  Postcards are a quick easy method of keeping in touch while also giving the folks back home a window into your new world.  Postcards will have a far greater impact on the recipient than the effort taken to send them, great stuff really.  International phone calls are cheaper here in the USA than in RSA at about 50c per minute (Nov 1998) but still represent an expensive method of communication.  Sometimes hearing familiar voices can be a salve to a troubled lonely mind, particularly in those first few days, so you might feel the investment is worthwhile.  Read my section on phone calls in the Things to be Prepared For section for more advice on phone calls.  Letters are a fantastic method of communicating as they let you express yourself in thoughtful detail and also are wonderful for those back home to receive.  One of my biggest suggestions to everyone is always to buy a PC!  It opens a whole new world to you and apart from the usual uses it also will make keeping in touch simpler.  Use it to type your letters as this provides many advantages.  You will be able to keep copies of letters you've sent which will also mean that you have a written account of your travels.  You will also be able to create a master letter that you can then customise for everyone you write to without having to write the same thing over and over again.  The PC can also open you up to the wonderful world of the World Wide Web, or in some countries you can get a cheap box that allows you Internet access through your TV called Web TV.  These two devices both give you access to email and the Web via some or other Web service provider.  Email is a fast cheap method of communications, in fact it is almost always free once you have paid a monthly service fee to your service provider.  You can attach scanned photos and even voice recordings for those back home to listen to.  And guess what?  It's very simple and does not require any special skills much past literacy.  There are also combinations of software and hardware that allow you real time communications with people half a world away, connecting using the Web.  Some involve using the keyboard similar to what you saw in movies like Jumping Jack Flash and require only appropriate software, much of which is free.  Others involve microphones and cameras attached to your PC using special software allowing a spectacular method of communication.  Another great way of keeping everyone back home informed is to set up a homepage like this one.  Gone are the days when only someone with a degree in Computer Science could set up a homepage, now it's housewives and school kids with some homepage generation software being as easy to use as a word processor.  There are a host of places on the Web that will host your Webpage like Tripod or Geocities or many others (check out The Free Site: Free Web Pages for others) and many of them also have tools to help you to create your page.  Note that many of them are free only because they plug an advert onto your page to "pay" for it.  I must emphasise that this is a very easy thing to do and a lot of fun.  My homepage lives on the AOL computer network for free as a part of my $22/month membership which I would be paying anyway to get my unlimited Internet access, email, chat rooms, bulletin boards and such.  They give me ten megabytes of space, which is more than most pages out on the Web need.  Plenty of space for all those scanned photos.  It is also possible to password protect your page for those of you who don't want the whole world seeing your affairs.  Finally, phew, arrange mail forwarding before you leave the country and be sure you ask someone dependable that you can rely on, not just someone close to you.  Sometimes you can even pay someone a small fee to mind your affairs back home and with the exchange rate being so strong chances are it will cost you very little.  Reliable contacts back home can also be a great benefit when you need to get your hands on stuff from home, anything from simple pleasures like sweets or biscuits through to some uncommon products or crafts unavailable anywhere else.

 Things to be prepared for

Credit card usage.  There are many things that you need a credit card for so bring at least one with you.  Most people consider this to be essential rather than optional.  Some companies, e.g. car rental companies, will not accept any other form of payment, not even cash up front.  It can also be helpful if you try to get your RSA bank/s to up the limit/s before you leave too, as your substantial limit there can be massacred by the exchange rate in your new country.  It might not be wise to mention that it's for an overseas move lest they consider you a flight risk.  You could say it's for possible unforeseen expenses while on holiday.  I will expand on this a little in the next few paragraphs.

Hotel stays.  Chances are your first week or two, possibly more, will be spent in a hotel.  Many companies will pay this initial stay time for new employees so you might think you are in the clear but be warned!  Very often they will require you to pay this up front and then claim expenses back from them.  This almost invariably must be paid with a credit card, as you are unlikely to have either the cash needed or a cheque they will accept.  This is one of those times where the low value of the Rand counts against you, as your sizeable limit back home may now be insufficient.  Even if it is not a problem, paying your card off can be difficult, as getting money to the bank is not always easy.  Contact your card company and find out if there is an easier way to pay off your bills.  Also remember that any money sent back home will cost between $25 and $45 (in my experience) from the bank on this end and then your RSA bank will also charge you a fee of R50 to R150 or so.  Companies will often make arrangements to help you if you push for it so if this is a problem for you let your employer know as it is in their best interests to help you.  Also, regardless of who pays the bill, be aware that there might be taxes over and above the price per day you were quoted, anything between 5% and 15%, as well as sales tax and sometimes even other taxes, e.g. airport tax.  I have even stayed at hotels that charged a parking fee, which was $10 per day though this is rare.  In other words always ask hotels for the full price inclusive of all taxes and/or sundry charges.  Also if the hotel has a frequent visitor club/membership of some kind then read through the pamphlet and if it seems ok by all means join it.  Sometimes a two-week stay can earn you two or more free nights at another hotel in that chain, certainly worthwhile I'm sure you agree.  You don't usually pay any fee so it is a pretty good move to join their club designed to get you to come back to their chain for your next stay.

Car rental.  Often you will want to rent a car when you get over.  It helps to be mobile though in big cities the public transport will often suffice.  Anyway if you do rent a car be aware of some of the following.  Renting cars from the airport is usually more expensive as the prices are higher plus you often have to pay additional airport taxes.  If you can be picked up at the airport and then rent elsewhere it might be advisable.  Many business travellers have to fly out again so the additional cost is worth it to them for the convenience of being able to turn the car back in just before flying off.  Obviously if you are not flying out this is of no benefit to you and so the additional cost is meaningless.  At the counter they will also ask you about insurance.  This can be anywhere between $8 and $35 per day, a huge cost that is not part of what they quoted you.  Try to get travel insurance or your own insurance that covers car rental insurance.  Also check with your credit card company as many of them have free insurance providing you use their card when paying for the rental.  There might also be different kinds of taxes again so as before ask for full price disclosure including all taxes and sundries when getting your quote.  Remember you are the customer and can be as pushy as you need to be.  The car company will also offer you their prefill option or whatever they call it, my advice is don't take it.  Let me explain.  All rentals come with a filled tank of petrol/gasoline/gas with the understanding that you will fill it up again just before you return it.  The rental company will offer to let you bring it back empty by offering you the current full tank at a price that is less than any local filling station.  On the surface it sounds like a great deal but it's only a great deal if you bring the car back with only fumes left.  In most cases you will bring it back with plenty left in the tank and you guessed it, no refunds!  So in other words you mostly bring it back with fuel you have not used that they accept gratefully as your gift to their poor impoverished company.  To recap, my advice is simply to decline their fuel option and simply fill the car up on your way to returning the car.  Remember that even if your company pays and this all goes on your credit card, it never hurts to let them know how you saved them money, good graces and all that.  Actually some of the above is company policy with many companies anyway.

Driving on the other side of the road.  If you are moving to a country like the USA, the norm is to drive on the opposite side of the road.  Some find this daunting but in truth it's no big deal.  When I first got here I worked with an English bloke who had spent over a decade in South Africa.  His advice to me was that I would probably almost kill someone while going down the wrong side of the road but that I would be ok after that.  In truth I was lucky in that I had no problems adjusting to this.  You will simply need to concentrate a little harder on your driving than usual but most of us are fine.  In fact I've never met anyone who was not ok with it though I have known a couple who hated to drive as a result.  I would recommend that in the beginning you try an Automatic rather than a Manual as this will make it easier to concentrate on the side of the road you are on rather than worrying about being on the other side of the car and using the opposite hand to change gears.  Don't be scared but do be careful and all will be fine.  Also as an aside be very careful when crossing the road as you might be looking in the wrong direction and this can be very dangerous.  Remember the old rule - look both ways!

Phone services.  When you get here you will want to phone those at home to let them know you are ok and maybe for some reassurances too.  My advice is don't ever use a hotel phone without a phone card (more about this later in this paragraph).  Their rates are usually excessive to say the least.  Usually you pay the long distance companies' highest rate, something well over a Dollar per minute plus the hotel adds an additional mark-up, usually 50%.  This means that your 5 minute call could cost you $8 or more depending on any other hidden charges if applicable.  Also in my experience phoning reception at your hotel in order to get an accurate quote generally gets you incorrect information.  Why this is I'm not sure but that has been my experience several times now.  One can be cynical and attribute the worst possible reason, profit, to it but in reality I think it was simply that they were not used to the question being asked and really had no idea, but I could be wrong.  Also do not use the words "long distance" to refer to international calls, as long distance is a different type of call completely.  Getting a phone card is usually easy.  A phone card, for those of you unfamiliar with them, is usually pre-paid and you buy them from shops, supermarkets or the Post Office.  On the back of the card is an 800 (toll-free) number and a pin number.  You simply dial the 800 number and then  use your touch-tone phone to give them the pin number and the number you wish to call.   They then bill you according to their rate by taking money away from the pre-paid amount on the card.  This should be your only charge since 800 calls are free though, believe it or not, here in the USA hotels will often charge you between 25c and $1.50 just for the honour of making a free call.  Most of these cards are renewable by making a call and using your credit card.  The post office sells phone cards and though their rates are rarely the best you can get they will be cheaper than hotel rates in most cases.  Usually that little store on the corner or the local grocery store will have these pre-paid phone cards on sale.  This might apply only to the USA, I'm not sure, but later on when you have a house/apartment and get a phone you will probably have to choose a long distance carrier too.  This is the company that you deal with for all long distance and international calls.  Some of them give you a phone card too but many of these are also vastly overpriced.  Shop around and ask all pertinent questions before you commit to a company.  Ask friends or people at work which companies they can recommend.  My long-distance carrier gives me 53c per minute to RSA and a phone card that will bill me the same as if I were at home so my costs are usually as cheap as can be when making calls away from home.

Daylight saving time.  Be aware that many countries in the world practice daylight savings time.  This is a practice where twice a year the hours in the day are shuffled around so that daylight can be better utilised.  Here in the USA they have a little saying to help you, which is "Spring forward and Fall back" where fall is what the Americans call autumn.  In spring you jump forward (spring forward) an hour so that in effect you lose an hour and have a shortened 23 hour day.  Then in autumn you will repeat an hour (fall back) resulting in a 25 hour day.  These changed days result in your days afterwards having daylight end earlier or later depending on the time of year because all of your days have now shifted over one hour.  It also means that your time difference to South Africa shuffles by an hour twice a year, something to be aware of, as you don't want to be waking up people back home.  It is a bit confusing but don't worry you'll get used to it.

Different measurements.  Be prepared for the country you go to to have a different system of measurements.  Believe it or not, in this modern world some of the world's most advanced countries still have not moved over to the mathematically better metric system.  The metric system is a simple and powerful system used by most of the world but countries like the USA still use archaic units of measurement like ounces, quarts, pounds, feet, inches, miles, Fahrenheit and such.  I suspect that the reluctance to convert might have something to do with the fact that the French came up with the Metric system.  Questioning locals for help is often fruitless as many of them are confused by these measurements despite having grown up with them.  Contrast this to the simple metric system which most people find easy to understand and use with most things being a multiple of ten and with temperatures that go up or down consistently starting from the natural freezing point of zero.  The good news is that the powers that be in many of these countries have recognised the inevitable and most products you buy in the USA and the UK now come with both units of measurement though you will be lucky to see anything that resembles a round number in metric measurement.  Speed limits may be in miles so be prepared but again the good news is that cars now mostly have speedometers in both miles and kilometres.  Temperatures are difficult as Fahrenheit is a funky system, just remember that 32 is freezing and -40 is the point where both temperatures cross, i.e. are the same.  Look out for these and be aware that for some help translating measurements there is a great site, just click here.

Different slang and general English.  Be aware that many terms you use used to may have different meanings in other countries.  For example what we call a road in the USA is a pavement and what we call a pavement in the USA is a sidewalk.  Many words and sayings you use will also completely confuse others.  Give yourself time and be prepared to repeat yourself with different wording.  Sometimes you just have to change your pronunciation because they don't understand your accent.  Also bear in mind that some phrases used in South Africa might offend people in other countries, due to the totally different meaning there.  An example is the word Coloured which, last I heard, was still acceptable in RSA but here in the USA it is often considered offensive.  Because of your accent (yes you will suddenly have one) this is not usually a problem but be watch out for startled looks or blank stares.  By the same token you should be prepared to be patient and understanding until you know the ropes.  A little re-phrasing will sometimes be necessary on both sides.  Some interesting links related to this subject are: South Africans Northwest's Glossary

Stupid questions and patronising attitudes.  This is something many of us find very hard to take and happens in most countries you go to.  From what I've heard though the USA is the worst for this as they are so unaware of the rest of the world.  The five most common countries that South Africans move to are Australia, England, New Zealand, Canada and the USA and the other four have far more international knowledge and our sporting ties with these countries mean that your accent is more likely to be recognised and awareness of our country and politics is far greater.  Here in the USA I have met many African Americans in the South who know nothing about South Africa at all.  In the North I found that most African Americans knew all about South Africa which may have to do with a greater media infrastructure and a higher standard of education and wealth.  On my first full day in the USA I was asked some of the following "Do you know what an ATM is?", "Do you have roads?", "Do you know what a bus or a train is?" and others have included "South Africa, where's that?" (as if our name isn't self explanatory) or even "Where in Africa is that" and the variation "Yes but which country in South Africa?".  All those old stereotypes that you think never really happen in real life like "Do you live in huts?", "How do you avoid the lions?" or even "Do you kill your own food with a spear?" actually do get asked so prepare yourself.  For stupid questions outside the USA I can only suggest you be strong and tolerant.  In the USA I have met Germans, English and French who all complain about many of the same stupid questions, even ones like "Do you have roads" so take comfort in that you are not alone and are not being treated the silliest.  Also our accent confuses people in the USA and they assume we are from England mostly though sometimes people think we are from Australia or even Germany so be prepared for that.  My name, Grant, simple as it is, is pronounced differently enough in RSA that I have been told "What an unusual name" even though the person knew the name just pronounced differently.  I took to introducing myself by saying "Hi, my names Grant (RSA pronunciation) but you can call me Graaaant (USA pronunciation)."   Others with Afrikaans names like Viljoen, Le Roux or van der Westhuizen generally have a terrible time as nobody can pronounce that stuff and the double and triple barrelled names also confuse folks.

Homesickness.  Be prepared to be miserable and homesick.  Your whole life has been spent in a certain way of life with mostly great weather and few natural disasters.  You will be used to multiple languages, braais, biltong, RSA sports, international news and such.  Suddenly you find yourself in a strange land with weird weather, different foods and unusual customs.  In the USA you have only English spoken, little or no Rugby, people think Cricket is an insect and other stuff like White people most likely being the majority.  I remember when I was in Ohio for a while I never saw a single Black person until after about two months when a Black trucker spent the night at my hotel.  A strange compulsion overcame me to go up to the guy and introduce myself and just talk to him.  I guess I was going through a kind of withdrawal.  My whole life in my hometown of Johannesburg was filled with Black people, friends, music and such.  A friend of mine from Europe once told me that in parts of downtown Johannesburg where the demographic is 99% Black people, that when he saw another White person he wanted to wave and shout hello.  Now that I have moved to a culture that resembles his I understand how he felt.  Add to this the fact that there is also the fact that you are under all the pressures of moving and possibly changing jobs.  Those that you turn to in these times, your immediate family, have many of the same stresses if they moved with you so they need more support.  The rest of your family and other support structures, like friends and community, are on the other side of the world.  You are on your own with little that is familiar, be prepared, homesickness most likely will set in.  My suggestions in the previous sections will help somewhat but mostly you just have to hang in there and as the old saying goes "Everything's going to be alright."

 Things to do once you get here

It's hard to separate some things so I advise you read through the "Things to do before you come over" and "Things to be prepared for" sections as well.

What's first?  Your first weeks will be tough, especially the first days with working and trying to set things up. Hang in there, it will all settle down.  First thing to do is apply for a Social Security Number (SSN) which is a USA ID number kinda. You just about can't do anything without it. Ask your employer or colleagues for help on doing this but it's a simple process and in some states a fast one (others slow). Then you need to open a bank account as an important second priority. It might be difficult but hang in there, this is where letters of recommendation can be of help but usually if you try two or three banks one of them will take you. Mostly they need your SSN. Then you need to get your USA (by state) drivers license which will also become your id. The test is not as hard as the current on in the RSA, in fact you only need to drive in some states, other states just need you to do the equivalent of a learners license test and for you to produce proof that you already have a license from somewhere else. Make sure you go to the AA and get an International Driver's license from them BEFORE you leave RSA. This will give you a year's worth (from date of issue) of driving time. A guy I knew used it to present to cops when caught for speeding so that his insurance company would not find out, but that's wrong - woo, very wrong. Worked for him though.

Ask questions.  Ask questions before doing stuff like choosing a neighbourhood, car, school or whatever.  The locals are almost always more than happy to help.  This is your best source of information and you must make use of it.  I've seen many other South Africans end up paying more rent, staying in lousy neighbourhoods, driving overpriced unreliable cars and so on.  All they needed to do to avoid this was to ask a few questions of their fellow workers or any contact people they had.  Also check your Yellow Pages as they almost always have help phone numbers you can call before making a decision on a house, car or what have you.  Don't be afraid, ask ask ask, it's important.  Nobody is as helpful as the locals in the area you are in.

Buy a PC.  I feel that the best thing you can buy is a PC.  It's the most important tool you can own in my opinion.  You can use it to do all your correspondence, either by writing using a word processor or by using email.  Getting online is so easy these days and with local calls being free most places you go in the USA, it's a cheap easy method of keeping it touch with everyone.  Getting online will also enable you to use the Web to follow news, sports, events and such from back home.  PCs are also useful for kids homework, games even for running a home business.  You can use it to keep your finances in order, keep spreadsheets of expenses or such, do UNISA assignments and oh did I mention getting online and on the Web?  It is a tool that will help you to alleviate homesickness and boredom.  You can use the Web to research holiday trips, book hotel rooms, book car rentals, plan trips and even get maps to places you've never been.  You can visit places you've never been to, research cities you are going to work in, find out moving costs, get currency exchanges, find out how much you need to earn when moving to a more expensive city and on and on.  My Web access costs me $22 per month and there are cheaper services.  Add to this free local phone calls and you have a cheap means of keeping in touch with home, creating a Webpage like this one and all the rest mentioned in this paragraph.  If you buy only one electronic tool it should be this one.  You can even pick up Radio 5 and other radio stations on the Web as well as some limited pre-recorded TV shows.  You can shop for books, gifts or anything online, even attending online auctions.  You can have cheap conversations with those back home, even audio visual ones.  I know I am repeating myself but it's only because I really believe in the power of this tool.  Also remember that the best feature of modern computers is how easy they are to use, why even my wife's retired parents have just started using a PC the last two years to write books, do email and run their part-time business.  You can and should do it too.  Ok I'll shut up about PCs now, at last!

Join clubs and buy kids meals but remember nothing is ever free.  Companies here will often use tricks to get your business and some of these tricks are good for both sides but others are not.  You know those TV ads where they say things like "But that's not all!  If you order now we'll throw in these other great things absolutely free!"  Well we all know this is bull, a kind of lie, disguised deceit.  The same thing is common elsewhere, far more common here in the USA where these companies buy time on the different TV stations during off-peak times, often an hour or more, to have these infomercials shown.  It is very rare that you find a good deal this way in my experience, no matter where in the world you are.  Just ask around and find out how many people have had a good experience this way, I've met only one and she didn't mind paying $20 a CD which is far more that the going rate.  This is not to say that good deals are not to be found but there is often a really good reason why these goods are not available in stores.  Maybe when you hold it in your hands it does not look nearly as valuable as it does on a flashing TV screen.  Sometimes they tell you that with their magazine subscription they will give several free gifts but closer scrutiny will reveal that the subscription without these gifts is actually cheaper under a different special.  Anyway the point of all this is for me to point out those tricks that seem to me to be benificial.  Obviously this is not a blind recommendation and you should still read through all available paraphernalia and examine everything carefully before making any decisions.  Ok here we go.  Join clubs for hotels and airliners.  They set up benefit schemes where you can earn points for all stays/flights and such.  With most of these you have nothing to loose so join them by all means.  I myself have earned free flights, upgrades to first class and free hotel nights among other things.  Some kind of equivalent to the AA in RSA is always advisable for those of you with cars.  Some of these take the form of a general club giving you hotel, car rental and other discounts and some of these are worthwhile too.  Fast food franchises give away small toys for free with kids meals and these are a good thing.  The idea is that no kid turns up alone, they bring their parents with them so the chains compete to have the best toys to bring the families in.  So get the toys by all means, you pay for them anyway.  There are CD clubs too and if you don't mind a lot of mail they are a good way to get CDs that normally sell for ten to fifteen Dollars for half that or less.

Additional help

Other suggestions are firstly go to my Move to the USA page and check out some of that stuff, there is plenty of specific help there.  Contact some of the lawyers there and see what they have to say.  At the same time taking a squiz at my Visit the USA" page might also be helpful.  Visit my RSA Clubs page and visit some of the RSA clubs as they often have folks who specialize in helping other South Africans.  For all kinds of links of any kind check out my main page too.  Check out the South Africans Worldwide page from that page for a lot of interesting info, contact names and a help-desk. Their Help Desk is an excellent forum both for asking your own questions and for seeing the questions and answers for and by other South Africans at home and abroad.  You could get some great help there, for any country or and really for any issue.  They have a page called "What's it like?" which is a great place to get more advice for many different countries around the world.  Also sometimes it can be beneficial to leave questions in the guestbooks of South Africans Abroad as it can be a good fishnet for catching help and opinions that might be more extensive than or better than mine.  To find some check out my S'efrikens Abroad page and pages linked to the Web rings on my Web Rings page.

Reasons to stay in/go back to South Africa

Yes I realise that with me sitting here in the USA and not home in South Africa,  many of you are thinking that this is a topic about which I probably don't know enough.  You would be wrong.  Those of you who have read some of the information on my personal page will know that from day one I always planned to return, no fixed plan, just taking it as it comes.  I recently successfully paid of my house in Johannesburg, in a nice area, a huge investment paid almost entirely in Dollars.  A lot of money and not the actions of someone who does not plan to return.  I still pay a gardener because I don't want my garden to fall into disrepair in my absence.  I even have family house-sitting for me because I was worried that tenants might be too much trouble to monitor from here.  Strange though it may seem, my reasons for coming to the USA were never financial.  If this were so then I would simply have sold the house, saved the money instead and gone back and bought a house with cash, saving all that interest.  Nor were my reasons political or any of the other most common reasons South Africans give for leaving home.  I refer of course to crime, education, racism, finances and so on, the future sums it all up for many.  No my reasons are as old as humanity, travel itself!  My mother always wanted to travel but it never happened.  Nevertheless her desire to travel rubbed off on me and I always planned to do so.  I would have started sooner but my personal situation delayed my plans.  Eventually in 95 everything fell into place and I came over to the USA.  It was not my first choice but it was a very good one, possibly the best one afterall.  The Dollar has helped me to visit other countries and this huge country has a tremendous amount for one to see right here.

Anyway enough of that, how about those reasons to stay in or return to South Africa?  Well for starters the obvious, it's Africa stupid!  Africa gets into your soul and never lets go.  There's no place like it.  The bushveldt, the game, those sunrises and sunsets, all that sunshine and fantastic weather, the beautiful oceans, those African colours and so on and so on.  It's a stand-out special place in a world of special places.  What's not to like?

Our achievements.  We have a country that achieved a unique change of government, a peaceful transition that stunned the world and annoyed many of the world's journalists who were forced to dash off to Rwanda to meet their gore quotient.  We have a majority of our populace that are willing to forgive generations of oppression, an absolutely stunning gift.  Lets also not forget that the decision to begin this whole transition was made in part by a majority of those who had held power before in a ground-breaking referendum.  Who could ever forget those queues on Election Day where every colour and creed shared equally in the change.  Yes I know that that was then and this is now but it does tell you a lot about our people.  We have something special, for all the anger, bitterness and frictions we have some deeper goodness that is greater than it all.

Our foods.  Our foods are not the pastas of Italy, the delights of China or the distinctive foods of a host of countries better known for their food than we.  What we have is a culture that has borrowed a little from all over the place.  We have all that Portuguese influence from Angola and Mozambique and who'd disagree that Peri-Peri is the world's greatest spice, well I think so anyway.  We have all that great Indian influence with everything from Samoosas through curried everything.  There is enough French, German and English influence to give us an unusual diversity in our foods.  We laugh about things like chutney, Rooibos tea, biltong, pap and wors but our own traditional foods are more special to us than we realise.  We always have huge selections of fruit and vegetables and when it comes to juices Ceres have been winning international awards for years.  Things like our biscuits, rusks, cakes and such are more special than we realise, only fully appreciating them when we leave.  That selection of spreads like Jams, cheese spreads, fishpaste, Marmite and all the rest are not always to be found.  We have a world-class wine industry and some of the worlds most fantastic wines.  Our restaurants are excellent, a quality we too often take for granted.  Hell even our excellent quality canned goods have a reputation for high quality and long-life, almost unrivalled,  by travellers who visit our shores.  You don't appreciate it and maybe the invasion of American franchises will soon erode this, but the quality of foodstuffs and restaurants in South Africa is outstanding, not to mention the variety and diversity of it all.

Tourism and natural riches.  One of the things usually at the top of any list is the whole tourism and entertainment industry in South Africa.  There is a reason why South Africa is rapidly becoming the number one tourist destination in Africa despite the established dominance by Kenya and Egypt though admittedly we have some help from internal instability in both of those countries that offsets concern over problems of our own.  We are not a huge country, about one eight the size of the USA, twice the size of Texas or five times the size of the United Kingdom.  Wherever you are/end up in the world chances are you will miss our remarkable average of eight and a half hours of sunshine per day, one of the very highest national averages in the world.  As a result of this sunshine, our year-round comfortable climate and beautiful scenic surroundings chances are your South African outdoor lifestyle is something that will disappear wherever you go, at least for part of the year when you hunker down through tough winters and even autumns (fall).  I remember that the coldest winter temperatures of my entire life up to that point was in the time I spent in Chicago in autumn!  Of course my coldest winter since then was much worse, somewhere around fifty three below Fahrenheit (with wind chill) in Iowa with a blizzard.  Now while I did go out into it all just to experience it I spent much of those cold winters hiding indoors with everyone else.   It's not nearly the coldest place here in the USA but still colder than I think any place in South Africa has ever been since the damned Ice Age.  Another thing, despite many flaws, we rate among the best in the world in conservation and natural wonders.  We all know the astounding, well organised game parks we have and a future full of plans for capturing a bigger slice of world tourism.  Most notable perhaps is the proposed multi-country extension to the Kruger Park which would see an already remarkable game park turn into a four county range allowing animals to return to their original migratory routes.  We have a vastly diverse land with everything from rain forests to deserts, beautiful beaches with year round warm seas, uncommon plant and wildlife, incredible birds and unique natural environments.  Another top tourist attraction is Sun City and the Lost City, the world's largest single-theme entertainment resort.  The KwaZulu Natal battlefields are unique, showing the clash of two great empires.   The Cape features both the wondrous Garden Route and the weaving and wondrous Wine Route.  Mixes of British, Dutch, tribal and other architectures make for plenty of interesting places to visit, for those of us intrested in such matters.  Another very notable tourist attraction is also the Blue Train, arguably the world's most luxurious and modern train for travelling pleasure.

Culture and entertainment.  Another thing unique to our area is our entertainment.  Yes we do have too much American and British TV and Movies but as the old joke goes, we have the best Zulu music, the best Afrikaans Newspapers and the best Xhosa hymns in the world.  "Very funny" you say, "we probably also have the only examples of those" and you would be right.  But that is my point, our unusual cultural mix is unlike any other in the world.  We have nine major tribes each with it's own language, culture and traditions.  Even their architectures are different some very practical and others wonderfully colourful.  Thanks to British worker sugar farming practices we have the biggest Indian community outside of India.  The insanity of Apartheid "created" the unique "Coloured" people of South Africa (not sure if that is still the South African term in use) when unable to categorize them as either White or Black.  This new people created by, um, our forefathers have become a culture with many of their own traditions, music and, many feel, the best sense of humour in the country.  We have an English community descended from settlers, Empire builders and treasure seekers.  We have an Afrikaans community descended from Dutch pioneers with some German and a healthy dose of French Huguenot and both of these White communities have probably got doses of just about every European country.  Substantial communities of other people also reside within our country with some of the most notable being Greeks, Portuguese, Lebanese, Jewish, Italian and Chinese.  All of these have mingled and merged, more so now than ever before, to make a greater culture with many different kinds of theatre, music, language, foods and so on.  You will miss it all.  You will not be able to watch the timeless energy of Zulu dancing or of other tribes and the newer forms like mine-dancing will be lost to you too.  The strange Coon carnival which heavily influenced the Rugby World Cup's opening Ceremonies will be forgotten.  Even Boere Musiek, Saki-saki and South African bands like Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Mango Groove or Johnny Clegg and Savuca, Yvonne Chaka Chaka and so many more, lost forever as no matter how hard you try you will lose touch with it all.  The whole unique South African theatre scene will be lost with all of those plays inspired by our triumphs, sorrows and just every day life.  Our unique newspapers in multiple languages will also be lost to you, the Web is no substitute.  Our literature and poetry, as extensive and multilingual as it all is, all gone.  Our art reflecting our history, culture and visions, faded to nothing.  A world without the colours of Africa, not for me.

Housing.  Ok then what's next?  Housing is worthy of mention.  I will have to compare it to the USA as that's all I know well.  Houses in South Africa are built for our mild weather, big rooms, big ceilings into which excess heat can escape, wooden floors over crawl space to allow air to move under the house. We rarely have or want air conditioning, preferring ceiling fans if required.  Every room in the house, bathrooms included, has a window, often more than one.  Big windows also help us keep warm, as well as keeping our houses filled with sunlight and warmth.  Our kitchens often have several windows.  We enhance this warmth by filling our homes with wooden doors, furniture and fittings.  We have extensive and lovingly cared for gardens that fill our views from these windows and fruit trees are not uncommon.  Houses here on the other hand do no often have garden, not a real garden anyway, a lawn, some bushes, a couple of small trees, that's it.  Houses here have been built for air-con so the windows are usually few and small.  We prefer curtains, both net and regular, on our windows but here it's mainly blinds everywhere.  I like these sealed doors though, ours are not very energy efficient.  Of course they also suffer winters less as home temperatures can be constant all year round whereas our summertime homes leave us shivering in winter.  It takes some adjusting to.  Also our houses are not expensive by many standards, actually quite cheap, it's just that high interest rate that kills us.

Another opinion.  I would like to add another voice to my own.  South African Journalist Peter Sullivan wrote an article for the Johannesburg based newspaper The Star wherein he tried to highlight the positive, areas where he had found us to be the best in the world.  He pointed out that the Blue Train is the world's most luxurious and modern train for travelling pleasure.  That Computicket is externally unrivalled as the best booking system in the world for movies, concerts, theatre and even sport.   He of course mentioned the world renowned Natal Sharks Board as one of the best research institutions in the world.  Naturally being a South African male he could not refrain from mentioning the following sports.  We are currently Dunhill World Cup champions in Golf.  Our Tri-Nations winning Rugby team is currently the best there is as well as being reigning world champions.  In Cricket he felt we were one of the best, I'd take it one step further and say that we are currently the best one-day side in the world.  He mentioned our great golf courses and the world's best rugby stadium - Ellis Park.  He also did not forget the wonderful atmosphere of the Wanderers "bullring".  There are other stadiums and venues that he did not mention of course.  He should also have mentioned our football (soccer) team, who have come out of nowhere in the world's most competitive and popular sport to make their first World Cup appearance and get into the last two African Nations Cap finals, winning one of them.  I'm sure some of our champion boxers, marathon runners and other athletes should also have been mentioned, and let's not forget Penny double-gold Heyns.  Anyway more about what he did mention.  He felt that we top the pile in negotiation politics and reconciliatory philosophy and had the world's best and most honoured president.  He felt there was a strong argument that we are, probably, better at mining engineering, shaft sinking and mineral extraction than any other single country.  He felt that, although flawed, we rate among the best in the world in conservation and mentions specific sites, the proposed multi-country extension to the Kruger Park amongst other achievements.  He went on to mention our success at international beauty pageants.  He mentioned our foods, booze, fruit, juices and quality canned goods.  Nice to see a journalist being positive about RSA.

Passports.  Our passport is both great and problematic.  We need a Visa before travelling most places but the good news is that there are few places in the world we cannot go, from Cuba to Lybia, from the USA to Russia, we are no longer the pariahs of the world and can now go places that many westerners cannot.  Whether we want to go to these places or not is another question entirely though I must confess that I have been thinking of visiting Cuba lately.  Can't though, as then they would not let me back into the USA.

Reasons to Leave South Africa

Mmm, well you might be wondering how much I know about this after some of the other opinions I've expressed.  Well I'm not blind to the problems back home and have heard many people's stories, both from those here in the USA and from those who have contacted me through this page.  So here it is then, as I see it.

Crime.  Well top of most peoples' list is of course crime.  We seem to be better at it than anyone if you believe the statistics.  My understanding is that it is precisely because our infrastructure is so solid in RSA that we can collect such comprehensive statistics and people I've met from other African countries and South American countries assure me that crime is worse where they come from.  Not having been to these countries I cannot say for sure but the argument seems sound.  Nevertheless not being the worst is little comfort even if it's true.  We still live a weird life where those of us with little often seem strangely resigned to their fate with a high tolerance for horror and those with more live in houses that become prisons.  We have bars on our windows, solid steel security gates on all outside doors and sometimes even on inside ones.  Hiding behind our high walls, razor wire and world's best electric fencing we activate our state of the art alarm systems linked to private armed response companies.  If someone opens a window or door then the alarm will go off, if they break a window or make a loud noise the alarm will go off and even if they do get in, well we also have motion detectors.  By our bedsides and under our pillows we have mace or guns.  Outside our car sits in a locked alarmed garage but just in case it is rigged with every alarm system known to man, alarms on the doors, alarms if windows get broken, motion detectors in case someone gets in anyway.  Not to worry though, if all else fails our radio is probably removable and sitting in house Fort-Knox with you anyway and the Gorilla security bar on the steering wheel will stop them from being able to steer or drive the car.  If they try to tow it another alarm will go off as soon as the car tilts past a certain angle.  If they hijack us the car will pack in after a few minutes later with the horn and alarm blaring and the light flashing to the tune.  Still all this technology does not always help or we can't always afford it and as a result we win some and we lose some.  Some of us get scars and others get worse.  These are not happy times in South Africa.  The less you have the safer you feel does not always apply as we seem to have all kinds of criminals all through the range willing to take even scraps away from the poorest.   We can argue that the crime is as a result of the policies of the previous government or the current one, or both.  I lived in Hillbrow for a decade before the change of government seeing the crime grow, the rise of drugs, prostitution and police corruption and such.  I visited townships and saw how little crime prevention went on under the old government.  Just as in Hillbrow you could not get a cop out to a mugging but you saw protesters outnumbered by the police at any political protest.  We have had an environment that encouraged crime followed by an idealistic government who freed many criminals while trying to free the innocent.  But in all this there is a big "who cares!"  Who indeed?  What does it matter if the crime is a direct result of apartheid, the policies of resistance to law endorsed by the ANC, poverty in general or a host of other causes, or all of them.  We still have to live with this horror, something this hardened Hillbrow veteran did not appreciate until he got here to the USA and found out what life could be like without the walls, locked doors, alarms and fear.  It is the one thing that might keep me from ever going home though at the moment my desire to go home is still stronger than my reluctance to face it all again.

Travel.  Of course I have to mention this as it was my only real motivation for leaving RSA.  When I was a boy my mother talked often of travel.  Among her favorite items in the house were ones that a friend of hers had brought back for her from Italy, some glassware and a beautiful wooden picture.  I guess some of this wanderlust rubbed of on me.  As an expression of this I got into penpals early and had penpals in many countries including the USA, England, Canada, Scotland, Australia and Russia among others.  Its a cheap and fascinating way to get a window into other countries and cultures.  Even in South Africa my circle of friends included people from England, New Zealand, the USA, Portugal, Greece and others as I found myself gravitating towards these people from other cultures and backgrounds.  It rubbed off on my South African life as I tried to learn more about our different peoples and indigenous cultures.  I even ended up marrying an English woman living in South Africa.  So all in all, it was almost inevitable that I would travel and once my personal life, financial concerns and the RSA political situation had all cleared up somewhat I was off.  This is an experience I recommend to everyone of any nationality, get out there, see the world, be amazed.  There are few experiences in your life that grow you as a person as much as this one and I don't refer to tourism though this too is recommended.  Nothing compares to living as a part of another culture with different perspectives, priorities, habits, customs and so on.  You have to do it if you ever get the chance.  Also in line with this desire to see the world there is so much I still want to see, the substantial complicated culture of Russia, the vivid ancient history of Italy, Greece and Egypt, the enticing culture of England, the intricate fascinating vast cultures of India, the mind boggling vastness of China and it's people, the Ancient Aztec and Inca cultures of central and South America and the stunning diversity of natural life there, the vastness of Brazil, the jungles of central Africa, the impressive wildlife on the plains of Kenya, the vast barren wastelands of Australia, the.... well I could go on and on about all of the places I have yet to visit.  Even the places I have yet to visit in the USA and Southern Africa could fill pages.  Well the sad truth is that most of this travel is very difficult mainly due to the high expense and poor exchange rates we endure from South Africa.  This contrasts heavily with the ease and relative cheapness of travel from European countries, the USA and some other areas.  Being stationed here has allowed me to make cheapish trips to Canada and Europe with plans to visit Central and South America and maybe Wales for the Rugby World Cup too.  These things would have taken far more sacrifice and expense if done from South Africa.

Opportunity.  It is true that with the new government trying to right the wrongs of the past ,that many who benefited under the old government now find the going much tougher.  The new powers that be say that this is the sacrifice that must be made in order to help set the balance right, the process of leveling the playing fields.  Morally and logically these are strong arguments but try telling this to the guy who is losing his whole lifestyle and yet there is a way out, a way to maintain standards.  Leave home, leave the country, start again.  Many do not make it and they end up worse off and far from home or scurrying back to RSA with their tails between their legs.  But it is an option that is taken by many.  Morally should we all stay and help to rebuild South Africa?  Perhaps.  Do we only have a future if we all tough it out?  Maybe.  Do we need to pay for the sins of the past, to give back to a country that poured enormous resources into our personal development?  Quite possibly so, but this is my family and my life and if I have the opportunity... would I not be a fool to miss it?  Tough questions.

Education and prospects for the future.  A huge fear for most parents is the declining standards of all levels of education in South Africa.  Can it be true that there are now only three RSA universities with international recognition?  Say it isn't so!  And Wits is not one of them?  It's not possible, surely?  And what of the schools?  No examinations in primary school, passing students with potential alone?  It this really happening?  Once again what we have appears to be idealism on the part of the government, an attempt to right the wrongs of the past by making it easier for those who were previously deprived to succeed now.  I'm simplifying it all I know but that seems to be the soul of the matter, no need to go into all the language, poverty and infrastructure problems that we all know too well.  Once again while one might be able to appreciate the intentions behind all this the reality seems to be that in the long term we are hurting our ability to produce top class professionals and our ability to compete.  You can bypass the problems at school level if you can afford a private school but then you still have to hope that you get into one of those three special universities, if they are still internationally recognised by the time your kids finish school.  How can parents who are qualified professionals be happy with all this?  Of course some of the countries you go to don't have a better education system even now.  The USA for example has a terrible reputation and parents often express amazement at how their average students come over here and become straight A students.  Also university (college) here is very very expensive indeed, strange when you compare standards to other countries.  Many use education as a reason to leave RSA but then I really would expect them to choose Australia, England or another country with a respected education system.

Stability.  Yes this is a big issue, no getting away from it.  It does not matter if you are talking about economic stability, political stability, social stability or whatever, we have a country that by comparison to the first world is pretty unstable.  Here in the USA the constant bickering between the Republicans and the Democrats has seen them embarrass and humiliate their country before the world but the truth of the matter is that no matter who is in power little will change.  A simplistic explanation is that the poor suffer a bit under the Republicans and companies get breaks and the opposite is true of the Democrats.  For ninety to ninety five percent of Americans here the change in government does not really affect their lives.  That is stability for you.  With us you often don't know what one party is going to do from one month to the next with changes of pattern and priority, never mind what will happen after a change in parties.  Economically we are plagued by instability.  Our ever changing taxes on everything from petrol to special one year only taxes that come and go.  Our tax burden keeps getting heavier.  Our interest rates can vacillate  from 18% to 26% in less than a year which adds to the overall economic problems we all face.  Petrol/gasoline prices are never the same from one month to the next and a huge part of this is simply taxes again.  Our currency is just not strong enough to hold it's own anymore and every time it takes hits so does everything else.  Rampant inflation helps nothing so even grocery prices change constantly.  And in our society we have developed into a country where people's behaviour cannot be predicted.  We are dishonest with little respect for law and order.  We complain about high theft rates and then go and feed the monster by buying stolen goods.  We run red lights, treat stop streets as yield signs, speed like lunatics and show other forms of disregard for the law.  We rip off our insurance companies who are ripping us off anyway.  All of this contributes to our overall instability.  Yes they do of course happen elsewhere but we seem to have more of it and even more acceptance of it.  Once I left my wallet at a counter but only after about ten steps I realised and went back.  It was already gone and all the people around the counter pretended ignorance including the clerk.  In a way they were all dishonest or at least contributing to it.  In South Africa dishonesty has become acceptable.  How wonderful it is to go elsewhere and find other places where honesty is the norm and incidents like this are the deviations.  All of this instability is either non-existent or far reduced in most first world countries, a tempting prospect indeed.

Financial.  For many of us with valuable skills and professions it is possible to do better abroad in a country with cheaper goods and lower taxes.  The strength of the currencies of most of the first world countries means that things like cars and electronics are cheap as most of the labour is done in third world countries with weak currencies.  If you plan to return home it's great to know that all your savings will be worth many times more when you go back.  I myself was able to mostly pay off my house in South Africa in under two years!  I still owe thousands of Dollars on transferred debt but the interest on that cash is far less than what I would pay in RSA.  This is a goal that would have been impossible for me if I had stayed in RSA.  In my experience the better off you are in RSA the harder it is to match that anywhere else, though as usual homework on this would be needed.  Those of us who are more junior benefit from the move more as there seems to be a narrowing of the income bracket when we come over.  In our field programmers earning between R50 and R150 per hour when I came over all earned between $25 and $35 per hour here in the USA.  Obviously this meant that those of us on the bottom end of that suddenly found ourselves earning comparable salaries to our seniors.  Actually we were often better off as our seniors were more likely to have families and the kind of expenses families bring are generally expensive in the first world.  Nevertheless there are many financial reasons to leave as covered above.

Racism and other prejudices.  Yes it's true, I have met some, people who leave RSA because they cannot stand to live in a country ruled by Black people.  In some cases sexism plays a role too as women tired of the inferior roles they are forced to play in RSA and so seek better opportunities elsewhere.  Some complain of reverse racism saying that all opportunities now go to those who are not White, though one wonders why they complained so little when the old system gave them all the benefits.  Still for the average White parent looking to the future, it is hard to rationalize the fact that righting the wrongs of the past now means that their kids cannot get work.  Paying for the sins of the past is ok as a concept but it's a bitter pill to swallow for many.  Ironically I have also heard from Indian South Africans and Coloured South Africans (hope that is still the correct term, here in the USA it is considered derogatory).  Many feel that they were prejudiced against in the old White dominated RSA and that little, beyond having the vote, has changed in the new Black dominated South Africa.  Some complain that Black people get the few new opportunities going and that they find only shut doors.  Whether you agree with any of these reasons or not the truth is that they have come up often enough that I felt I ought to mention them here.  I'm glad it's over though.

Advice for Spouses of Visa holders

If you are not able to work things are going to be tough for you.  Things will probably be tougher for your spouse being at work but sometimes it's much harder being at home.  Your working spouse will be exposed to a whole new circle of people at work and will have more opportunity to socialize.  You on the other hand will probably be more isolated and alone than ever before.  It is particularly difficult for those of you who used to work and were used to not being totally dependent on your spouse.  This will pass as you make friends and you will probably have to make a greater effort to do this.  Keep busy by reading, getting involved in hobbies and perhaps even studies.  Plan for all of this if you can so that you are not caught unprepared.  This will simplify things for you.  UNISA can be done internationally with enormous success and in most cases it's at a far cheaper price than anything you will find in your new home.  Exams can be written at many universities around the world so look into it as it can give you a real positive outlook on this new "idle" time.  I highly recommend this.  It's also a great benefit to you that UNISA is still internationally recognised so wherever you go the degree will be accepted, unless you do something too specific to RSA, like law.  Go out and meet your neighbours, you are bound to make new friends which will help an enormous amount, both in fighting loneliness and in learning more about the country and habits.  Housewives are the best source of information on the best places to shop, ways to save money, the best quality local brand name products and so on.  To keep busy you can also volunteer for local charities like animal shelters, childrens homes, mentor programs, churches and so on.  This is also a great way to make new friends and useful contacts.  For those of you who are religious Church is a good way to meet people too of course.  Ok that seems a little bit limited and in truth it is so I have asked my wife to write her own advice for you.  Take as emphasis anything that she repeats from the above passage.

My wife's advice.  Nothing will prepare you for the negative reactions you will experience as a result of a move to another country. There is much uncertainty involved amongst other things. You can experience boredom, frustration, resentment, anger and insecurity and of course the inevitable loneliness. If you are a spouse unable to work this can be very frustrating, the novelty of lying around doing nothing wears off after a while.

If you are able to drive and have transport then things will be much better. You will be able to drive to the Malls and just walk around and see things and get the flavour of the States. You will be able to join a gym and meet people or at least be around people.

However, if you do not have that mobility and independence then things can be very tough. Many of the more upmarket apartment complexes have walking trails in the vicinity, so you may be able to walk to one. If you have the finances you can order an exercise machine by phone from one of the shopping channels such as QVC, the purchase of such a machine will provide much needed positive movement. It is a way to get around your lack of mobility though shopping around is always better.  It is very easy to sink into lethargy and depression, then without any physical exertion you just put on weight, and it all becomes a vicious circle of weight gain, depression and inactivity.

If you have the ability to do yoga I seriously advise taking it up. Apart from the physical benefits, yoga is very good for stress and it will introduce you to Americans who will probably be more open-minded than the general run of the mill person one can meet.

Volunteer work is an excellent way to integrate oneself into the local community. My passion is animals so that is the only volunteer work about which I can give some advice if wanted. If you do not have transport explain the situation to the relevant group you wish to help, they will probably be able to accommodate you, most Americans are friendly and helpful and they will appreciate your predicament. It can take up to a year to find your feet, it is a very stressful time in your life, I have found that exercise helps a lot, Unisa is an excellent idea and so is volunteer work. Until you settle and even afterwards, your emotions can give you a roller-coaster ride, realise this and accept that it can happen. Take advantage of the superficial American friendliness, they are an insular race with very limited knowledge of the outside world and little desire to have that knowledge. They are a placid race but can be very kind, decent and well-meaning. This is obviously a generalisation but use it as a guide along with the basic philosophy that money rules here, and as my husband previously mentioned, you can sell your grandmother, provided you make a profit. The American way of life is ruled by money, more than any other country I have ever known, once you really grasp that concept, really grasp it I mean, and do not try to resist that idea, then your understanding of this country will grow and life will be easier for you. That is the way they are and the sooner that is accepted, the better it will be for you, believe me. 

If you wish to add to this then go to my advice forum section or if you have a lot to add then email me.

Advice for kids and teens leaving South Africa

Well what do I know anyway?  Let me tell you the little that I do know.  I have noticed that of everyone, kids and teens adapt the quickest with the least hardship.  Many quickly pick up the new slang and accent while their slower parents are still struggling to be understood.  Nevertheless it will be hard for you to leave schools, friends and family but try to remember that all of this is true of your parent too and they have all the additional pressures of parenthood, jobs and worrying about you.  It is important to be supportive in every way you can, believe me your parents will never forget it and will always be grateful.  Things always go easier when the whole family pulls together as a unit, as a team.  Also look on the bright side, technology and plastics are cheaper so toys, video games, computers, boom boxes, TVs and all the rest are cheaper so you will get more of these.  Any part time jobs you do for some spending cash will realise greater rewards than you are used to because you will find it easier to save for these cheaper items.  Your new friends in some countries like the USA will love your accent and you will instantly be seen as someone interesting just for being foreign.  Well that's it, not much but it's something.  Also read much of the advice above as a lot of it applies to you too.  Finally, I am trying to get some kids and teens to write some add-ons to this section.  If you wish to add to this then go to my advice forum section or if you have a lot to add then email me.

Advice for those left behind

Well for most of you it is the obvious, keep in touch, be patient and be supportive.  In most cases that is what happens.  Most of those who make the move and go through all of the troubles and hardships it entails, naturally turn to those back home for support.  As I say most give all the help and support they can but there are those who do not find it, often instead finding recriminations and emotional blackmail.  Many feel betrayed by those who leave and let them know it, often going out of their way to do so.  All it does is strain or break already stressed relationships.  The advice is the same for everyone.  Try to understand the reasons people had for making this decision and try to respect it.  Be patient with them as they are likely to be less reliable than usual for a while at least.  Keep in touch every way possible, where practical and affordable of course.  If you can send goodies and hard to find South African items, again where practical and affordable of course, as these will help to alleviate the homesickness more than you could imagine.  Help in any way you can with affairs back home or whatever.  There are few blessings greater than a reliable contact back home.  Try not to add to the intense pressure they will be under, particularly in the first few months.  Finally plan a holiday trip, this is your chance to visit another country at as cheap a rate as you are likely to find!  More than that common sense and family love usually won't fail you.

If you wish to add to this then go to my advice forum section or if you have a lot to add then email me.

Input from others

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This page was created during the second half of 1998 and put out on the web in the first few days of 1999.  It is part of South Africans Abroad and you are visitor