Changes -- Love and Tears Part 8

[Mica's Farm, SD]
I put fresh hay down in Penny's stall, then led him in. He immediately went to the food trough. He inspected his stall before giving me a thankful nuzzle with his snout. I smiled.
Then I went to clean Shadow Star's stall. As I led the tall, skittish horse out, she neighed nervously and pulled a little at the reins. I eased back until she settled, then led her into the holding stall where she stayed while I cleaned hers. I sighed and went back to it.
I picked up my shovel and started filling the wheelbarrow with manure and old hay. I gagged a little, it had gotten really bad. I hadn't gotten around to cleaning it in quite a bit.
As I cleaned out the stall, I didn't really think. I listened to the country station, letting the music eliminate any thoughts.
"She'll take the painting in the hallway. The one she did in Junior High. And that old lamp up in the attic, she'll need some light to study by." I sang along with the radio while I shoveled manure. "They've had eighteen years to get ready for this day. They should be past the tears. They've cried so many wa-" I stopped. Someone was behind me, I just knew.
I jumped a little with a start as I felt the pressure of a hand on my shoulder. I looked over at the green, three-fingered hand. 'Huh?' My eyes made the quick journey up the well toned, muscular arm and onto Michaelangelo's grinning face. "Mike?" I asked the obvious question, shocked.
"I always liked it when you sang." Mike replied with a soft smile. He took his hand off my shoulder and I turned to fully face him.
"How'd you get here?" I asked, still not fully recovered from my shock.
"Well let's see. New York to Chicago, semi truck. Damn glad that truck driver didn't bother to check his trailer; Chicago to Sioux Falls, freight car, bumpy as shit; Oh, and Sioux Falls to Tyndall, grain car..." He stopped and picked something out from between his carapace and plastron. He flicked it at me... 'a wheat grain?' "Sure wish I would have gotten out before they started filling it."
Mike grinned broadly, I giggled nervously at him, now partially recovered.
I smiled and handed him a shovel "C'mon" I said, "If I have to shovel this crap, so do you."
"T'would be my pleasure to shovel fecal excrement with you, Madam." he said with a corny British accent, taking the shovel. I laughed at him.
We cleaned the stall together, neither of us really saying much. The country drawl of the radio filled the atmosphere. I could tell by Mike's occasional odd glances at the radio and raised eyeridges at some of the lyrics that he was only putting up with this only for my sake.
I stole frequent glances at Mike. I was so amazed he was here... and so happy. Yet, I still felt a fear inside me. A fear of what? A fear of failure? A fear of disaster? A fear of rejection? I didn't know.
'I thought after you were apart from your love for a long time, everything would be idyllic when you got back together' I thought to myself. I sighed 'Well, love lie number two to be shattered'
I stopped and wiped my brow with the back of my hand. "I think that's as good as we'll get with shovels" I said, surveying the almost clean stall.
"So, what do we do next?" Mike asked.
"One of us has to spray out the stall, the other will go and get the new hay and dump the refuse." I said, dividing the tasks to make it faster.
"Hmmm..." Mike said, "Since I'm not sure what refuse is, I'll spray down the place."
I smiled slightly at his humor, pointed out the hose to him, then wheeled the wheelbarrow out to get rid of it's disgusting cargo.
I returned with a load of fresh hay. Mike stood there, leaning idly against the door of the stall. "I'm glad you made yourself useful." I told him, nodding towards the clean stall.
"No prob, babe." he replied coolly. I smiled, this is what I had missed. Just us together, his easygoing attitude towards me and his ability to make break into giggles at the drop of a hat.
He helped me spread the hay on the floor of the stable and fill Shadow Star's feedbox. We observed our completed work with satisfaction.
"Okay, I'm gonna go get Shadow Star, you roll up that hose, okay?"
"Yes ma'am" Mike said with a salute. I smiled and rolled my eyes at him. 'Well, he's certainly playful today' I thought as I lead the black, jumpy horse back into her stall.
Shadow Star neighed self-righteously, then turned and snorted contemptuously at me.
"Hey Mica!" came Mike's call.
"What?" I asked as I finished latching Shadow Star's gate.
"Look!"
I turned towards him and had just enough time to see him flash a grin at me before he soaked me with the hose. I stood there shocked and dripping for a few seconds, then I put my hands on my hips and stated "That wasn't funny, smartass!"
He chuckled "I thought it was."
I smirked slightly at him, "What a froot loop." I muttered under my breath.
"Okay smart boy, tell me exactly how I'm supposed to get back into the house without catching pneumonia." I said.
"Easy" he said "I'll carry you really fast." and before I could object he swept me up into his strong arms.
"Mike!" I protested "put me down!" I kicked my feet slightly and one of my boots fell off, hitting the floor with a wet, squishy thud.
Mike shook his head no and looked down at me. I tried to look mad but it was pretty much useless. I giggled and reached my arms up and around Mikey's neck. I wiggled my foot and the other oversized black galosh fell to the floor of the barn.
Mikey's smile grew wider and he hugged my body a little closer to him, ignoring the fact that the sopping denim of my overalls was probably soaking him too.
"Hold on tight." he told me with a smirk, and he made a mad dash from the barn to the house.
Entering through the kitchen door, he set me down and closed the door.
I shivered, the wintry air had made my wet overalls freeze. "Brrrr" I said through chattering teeth "damn, that's cold Mike!"
"Well you just need to get out of those wet clothes." Mike said "Here, lemme help you."
My eyes widened in panic as Mike stepped towards me. He unlatched my overalls and they fell to the floor, his hands went to my hips and he looked deep into my eyes.
"ahh.. I- ..umm" I stuttered nervously, more than a little frazzled "Why don't you start a fire in the fireplace, Mike. I'll go put these dirty clothes in the dryer." I ducked down and retrieved the overalls from around my feet, avoiding Mike's arms. I quickly left the room, not wanting to be under his gaze anymore.
I closed the laundry room door and fell against it. 'Man, what the hell is wrong with me?' I thought to myself 'C'mon Mica, you've been miserable without him. Now he's back and he still wants you, what the fuck are you doin'!?'
I put my overalls in the washer with a few other clothes. I started it up. 'I'll go and talk with him' I thought to myself. I looked down at my grime smeared body 'But first a shower.' I headed for the bathroom.

***

[Rose's Apartment, NY]
'That antiseptic smell...' I walked down the hospital corridor, the click of my shoes on the linoleum echoing like an executioner's drum against the cold, white, sterile walls.
I was a human. 'Always still a human' I thought to myself. I heard the steady beep of a heart monitor, the rise and fall of a respirator. I knew this dream... nightmare well.
I entered the room and all the noises fell silent. I looked at the still, cold, noiseless form. My eyes drifted to the familiar face, it's eyes closed in forever sleep.
I knelt down by the bed that held the dead, lifeless form of my father and I wept. This was when I usually woke up. This time I didn't though... this time it was different.
This time my dad's dead eyes fluttered open. He looked up into my face and screamed.
"NURSE! NURSE!" he yelled as he backed into a corner, looking at me with pure terror written on his face "St-Sta- Stay away from me!"
"Dad" I said, confused, "Don't you recognize me? It's me, Rose."
"You aren't my Rose! Stay away from me you freak!! And stay the hell away from my daughter!"
I looked at myself. I was in my new form, a mutant turtle. I was a freak. I scared my own father.
I felt a hand on mine. I looked up into Donatello's face. Behind him stood the other turtles, Mona Lisa, Micansana, and Splinter... my new "family".
"C'mon" he said softly, leading me away from the hospital room "You belong with us now." he leaned over and whispered in my ear "You belong with me."
It was then that I woke up. I was breathing heavily and my face was soaked with the tears that I couldn't stop from spilling out of my eyes. I stared blurrily into the darkness above the bed.
The dreams were returning. This one was the worst yet... it had seemed so real. I wasn't sure if I could handle it going back to as bad as it had been right after papa's death. Back to before I had met Donnie. Donatello had made the dreams cease for a while, but now they were back with a vengeance.
I looked at Don. Sometimes I woke him up... by screaming or sobbing in my sleep. I was glad he was such a heavy sleeper. Otherwise, he might know that it happened almost every night lately... that it was getting worse.
I moved over to him, snuggling up against his hard, flat plastron. He mumbled something in his sleep then wrapped his arms around me, cuddling me to him like a teddy bear. I sighed. His embrace was the only place that I felt truly safe. Wrapped tight in his powerful, secure arms, I felt as though nothing could ever harm me. I smiled and rested my cheek on his sturdy, warm chestplate before falling asleep.

***

[Mica's Farm, SD]
I stepped out of the shower, feeling much better, the pounding water had washed away a layer of dirt and with it, it seemed, a layer of worry. I wasn't as anxious about asking Mikey why he was here. In fact, I was pretty sure I knew why. I just needed to hear it from him.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I wondered what Mike saw in me. I was stout, no hair, I didn't have the curves in my shell like human women had, or as I had heard Rose had, I was all in all, rather homely. And that was putting it nicely.
I shifted my gaze to the window. I looked out into the black night. "Well, into the abyss." I joked softly with myself, and I headed into the living room.
I noticed the nice smell as I entered the room, I heard the soft music. The room was lit only by the crackling fire and a few candles scattered about. I had to admit, Mike had done quite a job to get the atmosphere as romantic as possible. I sighed and looked at Mikey. He was sitting on the large braided rug that lay in front of the fireplace. He smiled warmly at me and patted the space next to him, motioning for me to sit down. I couldn't help it, he looked so cute, and I had missed him so much. I took him up on his offer.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder, staring at the dancing flames.
"Mike?" I asked him "Why'd you come back?"
"Mica" he said, he looked down into my eyes "I missed you. I love you, Mica." I looked at him, the words had come so easily to his lips, there was no hesitation, no variance, just pure, true, and calm.
"Then how could you say all those horrible things? Don't you realize how terrifying and impossible it was for me to live in New York? And how hard it was for me to tell you?"
Mike looked away, there was a long awkward silence, and then he spoke "Mica, I was wrong. I disregarded your feelings because I was angry. I know loosing my temper is no excuse, but it's the only one I have."
"Those were just the words I wanted to hear." I whispered to him.
He looked at me and smiled. "I don't know why you put up with me sometimes, Mica."
"Same reason you put up with me, Mikey." I paused, then said in a softer voice with a smile "I love ya." I was so at peace it seemed, with him at my side. I felt strong, triumphant. But yet, there was still a whining, nagging voice at the back of my mind, telling me to be careful, to not go too far, too fast.
For tonight I decided to listen. I stood up and kissed Mikey on the top of his domed head. "Well, Mikester, I'm heading in for some shut eye, why don't you do the same, you can use the guest bedroom." Mike looked at me with wide, questioning eyes. I sighed, I couldn't answer that query, I didn't know the answer.

***

[New York City]
Oliver Tjeersma, 1958-1986, beloved husband and father read the first gravestone Marion Tjeersma, 1957-1997, loving mother I read on the adjoining one, then I moved to the next one. I bent down and brushed off the head plate. An odd thought entered my mind, I wondered if this person would have ever thought that a green three-fingered hand would be brushing off his or her tombstone. I almost chuckled.
Marai Tjeersma, 1980- , It was a pre-bought plot, not filled... yet. I wondered about the name... 'Marai?... naaaaw, couldn't be.'
I stood up. Why was I in the cemetery anyway? Oh God, I was defiantly getting worse. "Yea, now we're going to specifically be around death." I mumbled to myself "Now, that's smart, Leonardo."
Again my thoughts returned to the tombstone at my feet. Marai wasn't a very common name, and who knew, maybe the demoness had been using a fake name. Still, I needed something to do, and researching this would defiantly keep me busy.
I made a decision, scribbled down the info from the three tombstones, and leapt up to the rod iron fence surrounding the graveyard.
I looked out onto the road, whiffing the fresh frigid breeze in through my nostrils. I felt a small spark in me, a little life. I felt I had a purpose again, a thing I hadn't felt since me and my brothers had been fighting Shredder. I would find this Marai, and see if she was one in the same with mine. If not, then I would try again. I vowed not to rest until I had found her.

END PART 8

<~~ "Changes -- Love & Tears", part 7 Series art The Mica Series Profiles "Changes -- Love & Tears", part 9 ~~>

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