Christmas, birthdays, bar mitzvahs, housewarmings, farewell parties, dinner parties, baby showers, bridal showers, weddings, anniversaries, retirements, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Secretaries' Day -- every time you turn around, someone's got their hand out in so-called celebration of some or another holiday or occasion. (And let's not even get started on the homeless or those squeegee extortionists you have to fight off every time you travel inside the Beltway!) It's enough to drive a sane person to the brink. Just as bad as having to pay for it all is the effort that goes into coming up with just the right present -- small wonder violent crime is on the rise.
We at Yellow Fever have the perfect suggestion: The Yellow Fever gift certificate. It's not a suitable present for most people, since the team only has about 18 players and no one has ever much minded anteing up the cash each season, but since you're resentful about this whole gift racket and aren't going to put much honest thought into the present anyhow, why not at least direct the money to someone who might one day, in a fit of generosity, pick up the tab at Three Brothers? In case you've forgotten, here's what the thing looks like:
Handsome, eh? Twenty bucks, price guaranteed until the millenium.