This is my own list of things not to say to parents of a premature baby or sick child. Believe it or not, I heard all of the things listed here and they did not make me feel better. I know that the people who said them were trying to help, but sometimes saying nothing is better.
PLEASE DO NOT SAY:
My (fill in the blanks) had a baby that only weighed 2 pounds and he/she is 6 feet tall now.
You let them give your baby blood? Aren't you afraid he will get AIDS?
He had how many chest x-rays? He will probably get cancer when he's older.
He is still on oxygen all the time? Well it hasn't really been that long. He's only 18 months old.
What is WRONG with him?
How can you leave your baby in the hospital?
He sure is huge. It must be all the steroids they gave him.
My baby died when he was four days old and I spent every moment at the hospital. You need to be there all of the time or you will regret it. (Told to me when my baby was four days old and very sick).
If you want to hold your baby you should just pick him up. The doctors and nurses are just doing things for their own convenience. They don't really care about the babies. (Told to me by the same woman that made the comment above when my son had three chest tubes, was on the high frequency ventilator, and had blood gases done every 30 minutes at least).
It is good that he has pneumonia. It will help him build his immune system.
Is he crawling/walking/talking/rolling yet? My baby does all of those things and he was born a month after yours.
You are being over-protective. He can not live in a plastic bubble.
He is okay now or they would not have released him from the hospital.
I don't have a cold. It's allergies.
Do you have any pictures of your baby? OH MY GOD - HE LOOKS TERRIBLE!
Someday you will forget all about this. (Not bloody likely).
Are you going to have another baby? It could not happen again.
PLEASE SAY:
I am thinking about you and praying for all of you.
Your baby is adorable.
I am here to listen if you want to talk.
Where is your bathroom so I can wash my hands before I touch your baby.
I have a cold so I can not visit today. Let's do it another time when I am not sick.
Babies all develop at their own rates.
Table of Contents
Dale's Home Page
Joseph's Exciting NICU Stay
Hydrops and Medical Links
Fun Links
Photo Album