Welcome to the At-Home Dad Network

The At-Home Dad Network is a loose-knit grassroots organization for those dads who want to start up or join any activity to help connect at-home dads. This network connects at-home dads across the country via The At-Home Dad Newsletter. The Newsletter contains articles written for and by at-home dads, lists of over 300 dads , dozens of playgroups, We also sponsor the At-Home Dad Convention held every year in Chicago an offer an online message board.

Feel free to e-mail me any time at athomedad@aol.com with any questions in joining or starting a playgroup or need any resources.

We have no national board of directors, yearly dues, national meetings or rules to go by, some playroups choose to be more organized than others We understand that each group has it's own needs due to the location of the chapter and the diversity of dads that may make up the group. With the network dads can read about other playgroups in the At-Home Dad Newsletter and choose how organized they want to be . With this in mind we provide the following guidelines that have worked for most dads. Feel free to use the suggestions below as a guide to connect with other dads. Please let us know what works for you so we can incorprate your ideas into our guidelines.

It's a lot of information, and you probably have a few diapers to change now like I do, but you may want to save it for later reference. I hope that you will find it helpful later on, you may also pass on to other dads in your playgroup or to those who may contact you looking for information on starting a playgroup in your state.

- Peter Baylies, Editor, At-Home Dad

At-Home Dad Guide - Contents

1. Welcome to The At-Home Dad Network
2. The At-Home Dad Network philosophy
3. Starting an informal At-Home Dad or organized (DAD-to-DAD) Playgroup Chapter
4. "So...how do I find these dads?"
5. "How should I write a newsletter if I choose to do so?"
6. At-Home Dad - Issue 8 - Cover Story on Playgroups - Winter 1995/96
7. The At-Home Dad Newsletter

1. Welcome to the At-Home Dad Network!

If you are interested in starting up a playgroup you may want to read the guidellines and the articles below about starting up playgroups from recent issues of the At-Home Dad newsletter. I hope this is of help. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions or need additional resources. Also keep me updated and let me know how you are doing!

Also below is info on how to start your own informal At-Home Dad playgroup. Remember that the network is a free service provided by The At-Home Dad Newsletter. If you cannot find a group in your local area and you decied to start a group we will help you every step of the way. The only extra money that should be involved is a few stamps and copier expenses if your group decides to have an organized group with a local newsletter. In each At-Home Dad newsletter we keep a current listing of all playgroups in each issue along with relevant articles from other at-home dads across the country. More info on the At-Home Dad newsletter is included at the end of this message.

We discourage charging any member costs beyond these expenses as it undermines the purpose and spirit of the group. We have been featured on CNN, CNBC, USA Today, Parents, Parenting, and Child Magizine to name a few.

I will be glad to offer you support and info while you are starting a group. Please e-mail me anytime at athomedad@aol.com if you need any additional info.

The At-Home Dad Network TM

2. The Philosophy of the At-Home Dad Network - The At-Home Dad Network started as a part of the At-Home Dad newsletter in the Spring of 1994 with nine members. This list was used for dads to get in touch now and then and to start up an informal playgroup if they wish to do so.

In November of 1994, Curtis Cooper found that some dads were looking to organize formal playgroups and started DAD-to-DAD. His group proved to be such a success that he attracted 30 at-home dads in the Atlanta Georgia area and set up 2 chapters. During the WInter of 1995, Curtis and I joined forces, and DAD-to-DAD became a model to use in starting a playgroup became a part of the At-Home Dad newsletter. Now in 2000 we have 300 names in the At-Home Dad Network with 30 organized playgroups across the country coming from the network.

At-Home Dad Network has evolved into a loose-knit grassroots organization for those dads who want to start up or join any activity to help connect at-home dads. The network has spawned several informal At-Home Dad playgroups across the country. We have no national board of directors, yearly dues, national meetings or rules to go by, some groups choose to be more organized than others We understand that each group has it's own needs due to the location of the chapter and the diversity of dads that may make up the group. With the network dads can read about other playgroups and choose how organized they want to be . With this in mind we provide the following guidelines that have worked for us and other chapter leaders, feel free to use the suggestions below as a guide as you start out. Please let us know what works for you so we can incorprate your ideas into our guidelines.

3. Starting an informal At-Home Dad or organized Playgroup

Where do I start? - You may feel that you are the only at-home dad in your town or city, but by my estimates there are 2 million at-home dads in the US. In an average town of 20,000 there are probably a minimum of 10-20 dads who stay home with their children. Now it's time to find these dads...

4. "So...how do I find these dads?"

1. Make out an ad - Draw up an ad.. something like this:

At-Home Dad playgroup in formation
for fathers who are primary care givers
for their children. This weekly playgroup
will provide fun and support for you and
your children . Please call John Doe at
555-1212 for more information

This is an ad that one at-home dad placed in his local surburban paper. At first he received 5 calls from this ad. In a letter updating his efforts, he writes, "Now, every Friday morning, six dads and their
kids get together for coffee, support and refereeing among our toddlers from 14 months to some terrible twos. Imagine -- Bob, Tom, Pat, Andy, Palo, John and Burt -- all from adjoining towns! I actually discovered another at-home dad from around the corner!" He also states, " The moral of this story is that daddy playgroups are just waiting to happen. Consider this: There are 2 million at-home dads while the total prison population is only 1.6 million. If we can better organize ourselves then full-time parenting will seem a bit less like solitary confinement."

2. Post the ad (above) or a simple flyer in the local library childrens' section. A library will usually permit you to do this.

3. Call the local mothers' groups in town, they sometimes get calls form other dads looking to connect.

4. Seek out other dads you may meet at the playground, he may also be an at-home dad.

5. Talk to your local paper, they may be interested in doing a story about your new group. (Father's Day is an ideal time, check in a few weeks before this holiday) Your statewide paper may also be interested in doing a story about your group, which may attract more members. If you would like a contact name in your state send me an e-mail at athomedad@aol.com and I will send you addresses to write to in your state.

6. The At-Home Dad Network - You may contact dads who are listed in the At-Home Dad Newsletter's network list. More info on At-Home Dad is at the end of this message.

"I found a few dads, where should we meet?"

The best place is a neutral meeting place, such as an indoor/outdoor playgropund. Once you get to know each other you may want to keep it that way or meet at each others houses.

"What do we do now?"

Your group may be happy just meeting at the local playgroud or you may want to plan additional activities. Curtis Cooper planned weekly activities such as trips to the zoo, local restarants with indoor playgrounds or even to children's museums. You could also plan a day trip to a baseball game (kids permiting) You may want to seek out the local places in your area that may be of interest to your group

"What other activities can we do for the dads in our group"

One feature of DAD-to-DAD started by Curtis has been the "Dad's Night Out". Each month one night the dads go out to a local restaurant or event. This gives the dads time to get to know each other while the kids are at home.

"What can I do to keep my group organized?"

The best way to keep your local events organized is to have a monthly newsletter or calander, which can be mailed out to the members in your group, You can make a regular schedule of playgroup meetings, Dad's Nights Out and special field trips, complete with dates and time. You can also add comments on what happened on recent events.

5. " How should I write a newsletter if I choose to do so?"

Below is a sample newsletter from Dan Dunsmore the chapter Coordinator of the Charlottesville-Albemarle, Dad-to-Dad you may use this as a starting point.

------------------------------------------
October, 1996 Newsletter
-----------------------------------------

Coordinator: Dan Dunsmore (Liza, 8; Spencer, 1)
Other Active Members: Stewart Bowers (Paige, 5); Michael Christy (Berenger, 4;
Channing, 1); David Consolvo (Daniel, 2); Michael Duggan (Kate, 1); Mike Folger
(Meaghan, 3; Molly, 2); Eric Galloway (Hazel, 1); Bill Goldeen (Daniel, 5;
Shira, 1);
Stefan Gorsch (Spencer, 1); Michael Haynes (Emily, 2); Deanne Jensen (Will, 2;
Andy, 2); Mike Johnson (Baby due any day now!);
Dale Lawton (Israel, 2); Lance Rogers (Colin, 9; Erik, 7; Tom, 4); Scott Smith
(Mary Kate, 7; Eric, 5; Emily, 11 months);
Rick Sprenkle (Nathan, 3; Luke, 3 months); Billy Vaughn (William, 1)
-------------------------------------------
The Charlottesville-Albemarle Dad-to-Dad group is now ten months old,
and, for the first time, we have said good-bye (at least for now) to two of our
members. Of course, this is inevitable, and it is evidence that we have been
established long enough to see life situations change. We're surely in store
for more of this. Still, I don't want to take it too lightly. So, I'd like to
officially bid farewell to Mike Higgins and his daughter Allison. Mike was one
of the original four dads in this group. He and Allison took part in the WVIR
29 human-interest story that provided a great deal of publicity for the group.
Mike, Barbara and Allison are still in the area and still stay in touch.
I'd still like to publish autobiographies by our members. So far, I've
published ones by David Consolvo, Michael Haynes, Eric Galloway and me. They
have made for interesting reading, so don't be shy.
The October 14 issue of the Washington Post includes an article about us
at-home-dad types. Kim, Liza and I are quoted in the article. Look for it
wherever you might find back issues of the Post.
-------------------------------------------
October Summary
Tuesday, October 8 -- Dan Dunsmore's House: Dan Dunsmore (Liza &
Spencer), Michael Christy (Berenger & Channing), Mike Folger (Meaghan & Molly),
Eric Galloway (Hazel), Bill Goldeen (Daniel & Shira) and Scott Smith (Mary Kate,
Eric & Emily) were in attendance. It was fun to watch the children of similar
ages naturally group together and discover books, duplo blocks, a bouncing ball,
food, etc. in the downstairs rooms of the house.
Tuesday, October 15 -- Baja Bean Company: Michael Christy and Mike
Johnson talked about raising children in the 90's.
Saturday, October 19 -- David Consolvo's House: David Consolvo
(Daniel) welcomed Dan Dunsmore (Liza & Spencer), Michael Duggan (Kate) and
Deanne Jensen (Will & Andy) to his house. It was great to see Deanne and her
two sons again!
Tuesday, October 22 -- Greenleaf Park: Dan Dunsmore (Liza & Spencer),
Michael Duggan (Kate), Dale Lawton (Israel), Mike Folger (Meaghan & Molly), Eric
Galloway (Hazel) and Bill Goldeen (Daniel & Shira) welcomed Rick Sprenkle and
his two sons Nathan and Luke to the play group.
Tuesday, October 29 -- Greenleaf Park: David Consolvo (Daniel), Dale
Lawton (Israel), Rick Sprenkle (Nathan & Luke), Michael Duggan (Kate), Michael &
Julie Haynes (Emily & her friend) and Dan Dunsmore (Liza & Spencer) enjoyed a
crisp, clear fall afternoon together. The park was full of children and parents
and NO yellow jackets!
--------------------------------------------
November Play Group Schedule
Tuesday, November 5 -- Greenleaf Park: 3:30 - 5:00
Tuesday, November 12 -- Greenleaf Park: 3:30 - 5:00
Saturday, November 16 -- David Consolvo's House: 10:00 - 12:00 (Call David for
directions.)
Tuesday, November 26 -- Greenleaf Park: 3:30 - 5:00

Since our play group will meet at David's house on the 16th and since we
are having our Dad's-Night-Out Dinner on the 19th, we will NOT have a play group
on the afternoon of the 19th.
----------------------------------------------
Discovery Museum
Our rain/cold temperatures play group location will be the Discovery
Museum. I've talked to many members about this idea, and they all like it. I'm
not trying to sell memberships, but, just so you'll know, annual memberships
range from $35 to $50. For non-members, it's $3 per visit for children, $4 for
adults.
In fact, I think the Discovery Museum would make an excellent location
for all of our December, January and February play groups. Let me know what you
think about this idea.
----------------------------------------------
November Dad's-Night-Out Dinner
The Dad's-Night-Out Dinner this month will be on Tuesday, November 19,
from 6:30 to whenever, at the Monticello Brewing Company. Perhaps it's the
homemade beer, but we seem to be drawing a fairly decent crowd there each month.
Decent refers to the number of dads who show, not to their character. Be
advised. The camaraderie is reassuring. The conversation is compelling. The
owners are accommodating. The beverages are quenching. The food is bar food.
----------------------------------------------
Two-Hand Touch Football
Two-hand touch football continues on the Charlottesville High School
practice field each Sunday morning from 10:00 to 12:00. Bring your cleats if
you have them!

6. At-Home Dad - Issue 8 - Cover Story - Winter 1995/96

DAD-to-DAD Connects At-Home Dads

By Peter Baylies

Organizing men is hard. Organizing at- home dads is even harder.
Why? One simple answer - just ask any wife...we don't stop to ask
for directions. Why is this? Well, 2,000,000 years ago when we were
hunter-gatherer-dads we wouldn't ask for directions because that
would signal vulnerability, especially in unknown terrain where the
inhabitants might be unfriendly (ie: eat you). This survivalist
trait stopped being necessary a few thousand years ago, but it may
take a few million years to wipe this habit out of our genes. This
means that in a few hundred years we may be driving to the wrong
planet in our air jet even after our wife has already told us five
times that we already passed Jupiter.
With this reluctance to ask for directions comes an inability to
reach out for that support like women do. For at- home dads looking
to connect with other dads odds are even tougher as there are
relativity few of us at the local playground and even fewer in our
neighborhoods. With 2 million of us in America, we wonder, where
are they? And what do I do if I find any?
This is precisely the problem Curtis Cooper of Atlanta, Georgia,
ran into when he became a stay-at-home dad to his newborn son,
Brett, in September of 1993. Wanting to avoid daycare for their
son, his wife, Pam, agreed with him that she had the better career
and salary potential, so the decision for Curtis to stay home with
his son was easy. The hard part was finding other dads to connect
with. Curtis notes, "When I became a stay-at-home dad, like most of
us, I wasn't quite sure what it would be like. I found myself
feeling pretty isolated and insecure at first, and missed the daily
interaction with my friends and co-workers." Unable to find dads
right away, he joined some of the moms on his street every other
week. Although he enjoyed it, he felt "a little out of place".
In November of '94 he decided to start a play group for dads and
gave it the name, Mr. Mom Club... (after a few meetings and
checking with his friends, the title was quickly scrubbed for the
more appropriately named DAD-to-DAD).
He put a few ads in the local papers and with only two dads
calling back he started a group that has meet weekly since then. As
word spread of Curtis' efforts via an article in the Atlanta
Constitution newspaper and word of mouth, the dads kept showing up.
It came to a point where Curtis had contact with over 30
stay-at-home dads in the Atlanta area. So many in fact, that he had
to set up two chapters to handle the load.
Adding a new twist to the playgroup idea, he started a
Dads-Night-Out Dinner (without the kids) which meets every 2-3
weeks at restaurants in the local area. Andy Doetsch, one of the
first to join, and the head of a local chapter in Alpharetta,
Georgia, says, "Some weeks, I live for the Dads-Night-Out dinners.
It's important for sanity sake, bouncing ideas off the other Dads,
getting input from them as to how they might handle certain
situations that have come up, etc. I think the most important
things I have gotten from the group are the friendships that have
developed, the comradely of people who are doing the same thing I
am and who aren't afraid to "go against the norm" or ignore the
stereotypes floating around about primary care-givers."
A peek at a recent DAD- to-DAD schedule shows many activities to
keep the dads and kids busy: Sept. 12 - North Point Mall - Kids
Club. Meet at the Merry-Go-Round between 10-10:30...Sept. 14 -
Alpharetta Library, (they did a "story time" just for DAD-to-DAD).
Sept. 18 - Dads-Night- Out dinner at 7:30 at Rafters in
Alpharetta....Sept. 19 - Curtis is hosting a playgroup at 10:00
a.m....Sept. 26 - Atlanta Zoo - Meet at the playground inside the
zoo at 10 a.m.
Around Feb '95 Curtis decided to try to expand DAD-to-DAD into a
national organization and sent out press releases to the media.
Soon, CNN & ABC World News Tonight came knocking at his door.
Curtis had to get used to the cameras whirring and lights blazing
as the dads talked of sports and the kids happily played during
their field trips to the zoo.
Our readers have already started new DAD-to-DAD chapters in
Arizona, Massachusetts, Virginia, North & South Carolina, Kansas
and Minnesota. Scott Hahn, a chapter leader in Richmond, Virginia,
says, "Slowly but surely, the Richmond chapter is getting under
way.
Today we will have our third playgroup activity. Next Tuesday we
will have our second Dads' Night Out dinner. My daughter and I were
alone at the first playgroup meeting. We were joined by a dad and
two other kids for the second. Three dads (including me) attended
the first dinner." Hahn is now in contact with 10 other at-home
dads and is planning to publicize their activities in the local
media and neighborhood newsletters to reach more people. Scott is
hoping to set up a few chapters in the Richmond area so that
everyone can join DAD-to-DAD activities with out a long drive.
Of the playgroups, Curtis notes, "Starting a play group isn't
easy, but it's one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. The
friends I've made through DAD-to-DAD are some of my best." Andy
agrees adding, "I really enjoy getting together for playgroup every
week with the other Dads in our chapter. My children (Christian -
5 and Kayla - 2 1/2) have gotten to know several of the other
children in the group and have fun getting together with them,
sometimes several times a week. Through DAD-to-DAD, I have become
good friends with another Dad who literally lives right around the
corner from me. It's also nice to know there is a baby sitter who
can be available in emergencies!"
Although one reason was economic for Curtis being the one to
stay home with him, he wanted to do it for one very personal
reason. He was adopted when he was 16 months old. He expounds, "I
wanted to be able to bond with my son in a way my birth father and
adopted father were never able to do with me. The bond my son and
I now share is better than I ever could have imagined! He's not
only my SON, he's my best friend. We enjoy every minute we're
together. The relationship my daughter and I share is becoming just
as special." Reflecting he also notes, "Being adopted is an
emotional experience no one who isn't can ever truly understand.
It took me 30 years to see someone who has any kind of a physical
resemblance to me. When friends say, "Brett looks just like you,
Curtis", I feel ten feet tall." We are pleased to announce that
DAD- to-DAD has joined forces with the At- Home Dad newsletter and
we welcome Curtis Cooper to our staff. To join DAD-to-DAD contact Peter Baylies at athomedad@aol.com.

To order send to: Peter Baylies, At-Home Dad, subscription $15/yr - send order to: Peter Baylies, At-Home Dad, 61 Brightwood Ave, North Andover, MA 01845.

7. The At-Home Dad Newsletter

Hope this info give you a start in your new playgroup, below is info on the At-Home Dad Newsletter if you are interested in additional resources for your group or yourself.. What started as a newsletter in the Spring of 1994 has evolved into a national support group to help the 2 million at-home dads in America. Below is subscription info and a description of the At-Home Dad newsletter.

- Peter Baylies, Editor

At-Home Dad Newsletter - Description

At-Home Dad is a quarterly newsletter written to provide connections and
resources for the 2 million fathers who stay home with their children. Each
issue contains six regular sections. A subscription to At-Home Dad, is $15/yr - send order to: Peter Baylies, At-Home Dad, 61 Brightwood Ave, North Andover, MA 01845.

1. Feature (Cover Story) - Covering the issues of the day for At-Home Dads.
Previous subjects covered: The At-Home Dad survey of our readers, starting a
playgroup in your town, Single Fatherhood, and look into the
future for at-home dads.

2. Spotlight on Dad - Interviews and stories focusing on one at-home dad
Previous dads covered: Brian Basett (Creator of the "Adam" comic strip),
Keith Dilley; father of sextuplets (yes 6 babies), A diary of one fathers'
dads first days as an at-home dad, and one dad who married into a family of 2
kids and became an "instant" at-home dad.

3. At-Home Dad Business - Personal accounts of home businesses run by dads WITH
their kids at home. Home businesses covered are: Computer tutoring,
Childrens' book author, Medical transcribest, Computer repair, Pet sitting,
Birthday party entertainer and the antiques collectables business. Tips are
occasionally sometimes given in this section on saving money at home.

4. KidTips - Useful tips for dads (many from readers) on activities or your
kids. A recipie is also provided on this page each issue that you can prepere
with your child.

5. Father Connections - Resources for dads (books, newsletters and
organizations) and letters from our readers.

6. At-Home Dad Network - This is a free optional service for
all subscribers By joining they are automatically entered on a national list
of dads across the country which is distributed to over 1,000 readers with each issue. Over 300
dads across the counrty are currently listed in the At-Home Dad Netwrok.. You may list just your address
or include you phone and/or e-mail address if you wish You DO NOT have to be
on the list to use it. You will receive this list starting with your first
issue. You may use the list to contact other dads who may live in your area to just talk or start up an informal or formal DAD-to-DAD playgroup.

Several dads have already started informal playgroups across the country with the At-Home Dad Network, and have even connected via e-mail across the US. For those who want to organize a more formal playgroup, the At-Home Dad Network has recently merged with DAD-to-DAD and has added to it's staff Curtis Cooper who is the founder of DAD-to-DAD, a national organization that helps at-home dads form playgroups. Chapter leaders and group updates are listed in each issue with contact info.

We have already been featured in many parenting magazines (Parents's, Parenting, Child, Healthy Kids) At-Home Dad was also featured as the cover story in the June 15th issue of USA Today in the Life Section last
year. . An avid reader of At-Home Dad, Dr Laura Slessenger of KFI Radio in
LA calls At-Home Dad, "The best thing since disposable diapers!"

Welcome to the At-Home Dad Network

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At-Home Dad Newsletter Writers Guidelines

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