|  Click on the skyline to go to the Table of Contents | 
|
|
| Click on the skyline to go to the Table of Contents |
|
The truth was bound to come out sooner or later. Iago was not raised in the desert after all. The fact of the matter is, Iago was born and raised in da Bronx. That's right. I'm a pigeon in parrot's feathers. I've just been in denial for the past nine years, since leaving New York State. Even now, every once in awhile, a really strong Bronx accent will surface, try as I might to stifle it. Like when I order "cawfee" at Starbucks. <shudder>
In any case, my husband recently got the brilliant idea to go to New York to see The Lion King on Broadway. Given my Disney obsession, how could I argue with this? Of course, the only way to get tickets was to book a hotel package. We were able to obtain a 4-night package at the Doubletree Guest Suites at Times Square for around $1500. This included a two-room suite with kitchenette, and four tickets to The Lion King on Sunday, April 9th. My daughter (Jill) and I flew free on Delta, courtesy of Mike's frequent flyer miles. His ticket was $181 round trip from Atlanta to Newark. We would stay from April 5th to the 9th, and my Mom would join us on the 8th to see the play the following day. Luckily, this coincided with Jill's Spring Break week.
I hereby offer the following suggestions and observations for those who are reluctant to vacation beyond the boundaries of the Prideland - er, that is, beyond the confines of the Walt Disney World resort.
Always a big issue on a Disney vacation. Do we rent a car or rely on the buses, monorails, and boats? Well, don't even think about renting a car in New York City. First of all, parking is not free for NYC resort guests. Can you imagine? You will be charged an exorbitant rate that is nearly as much as one night's lodging, to park your vehicle in a lot the size of an All Star Resort bathroom. They actually put some cars up on lifts, and park other cars underneath them.
A good option to get from the airport to your hotel. We used Allstate Towncar Service. The cost was $46 from Newark to Manhattan, and $36 on the return. Plus tolls ($5.40). Plus parking for the driver while he waits for you at baggage claim ($4.00). Plus gratuity. Our final totals were $65 on the front end, and $49 on the back end. The first driver barely grunted two words to us. I don't think English was his native tongue. The second driver was 30 minutes late getting us to the airport. Tiffany Towncar it's not.
You will inevitably ride in a NYC yellow cab at some point during your visit. My advice: get in, buckle up as fast as you can, and close your eyes. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride may be gone from Walt Disney World, but it's alive and well in New York. No one signals, but everyone honks. Pedestrians never have the right of way, even when moving in herds across intersections with the WALK sign illuminated. Unlike the equally bumpy Kilimanjaro Safaris, the New York drivers don't give the local wildlife any slack. The cabbies will try to pick off the little sick ones while turning corners. And watch out for bicycle messengers! They are fearless creatures who think nothing of squeezing between a doubledecker tour bus and a doubleparked stretch limo to complete their appointed rounds. With all this going on, it's amazing how good the yellow cabs look, at least from the outside. Some of them even have Lion King billboards on their roofs. (The color of the ad coordinates well with the yellow of the taxi.) And you may have a remarkably Disneyesque moment when you get in your cab and hear Chris Rock or Beverly Sills urge you to buckle up. Wow, it's just like Monorail Guy! I was hoping that Beverly would sing for us, but sadly, she remained silent for the balance of the trip, except at the very end, when she reminded us to gather our personal belongings. Be aware that it's $2.00 as soon as you get in the cab, and then the meter increases in thirty cent intervals about every ten feet. And don't think that you can avoid the cabs. My research, conducted from the 86th floor of the Empire State Building, indicates that yellow cabs account for at least 90 percent of Manhattan traffic. If you happen to fling your arm out to fend off a panhandler, a passing cabbie will interpret this as "flagging down a cab," and will screech to a halt and pull you inside. This only applies when you don't actually require a taxi, of course. When you do need one, they will all be occupied or off duty.
As we all know, New York City boasts a mass transit system almost as vast as the one at the Walt Disney World Resort. The main difference is that their trains run on two rails instead of one. And most of the time, they run underground. Think of the subway as utilidors for trains. Pretend that descending into the New York City underworld is like taking the Backstage Magic Tour, only cheaper. For the reasonable sum of $1.50, you can get just about anywhere you need to go. And tokens are a thing of the past. They now offer the MetroCard, available in almost as many combinations and permutations as Disney admission media. There's even one version that's similar to the Unlimited Magic Pass. We opted for the simple pay-per-ride card. For every $15 you put on the card, you are given one free extra trip. When you reach the turnstiles, simply swipe the MetroCard through the card reader, and pass on through. It's brilliant. You don't even need to mess with biometrics or hand stamps.
Now, I can't guarantee that your experience on the other side of the turnstiles will be as magical as at Walt Disney World. You won't see Cinderella Castle or Spaceship Earth. On the plus side, however, you also won't see spray-painted graffiti on the trains. Sadly, you will discover that every single window on the trains has had graffiti scratched into them. It's the free version of Leave a Legacy. There is also a little bit of Disney at 50th St. and Broadway, where Alice in Wonderland tile murals are on the platform walls. The characters appear as unmistakable silhouettes in blue, against a (dirty) white background. I have no idea what Alice is doing at 50th and Broadway, but it made me smile.
We were nostalgic as we boarded the trains of our youth. The #1 train, which ends up in Riverdale, just around the corner from Mike's old apartment building; and the #4 train, where Mike and I rendezvoused for our first date - a Yankees game. Isn't that romantic? He met up with me on the subway! Okay, we were young and poor and didn't have driver's licenses. Who needs a driver's license in the city? Anyway, it turned out okay. I wasn't mugged or anything.
We didn't take any NYC transit buses on this trip, but we did take a Liberty Lines express bus from Madison Ave. to the Bronx Zoo. The cost is $3, and they accept the MetroCard. I felt like an uninitiated tourist using FASTPASS for the first time when I inserted the card into the reader upside down. D'oh! But the bus was nice and plush. And empty.
We experienced New York by water when we took the ferry to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. The ferry leaves from Battery Park, way down at the southern tip of Manhattan Island, where the Dutch settlement of New Amsterdam once was. The cost is $7 for adults, and $3 for children. It was here that we first encountered the most annoying thing about New York - guys selling watches out of briefcases. They get right up in your face and shove the watches toward you. It seemed like there were dozens of them. And the worst part about it was that they weren't even offering any Mickey watches! The nerve! A slight variation on the watch guys is the sunglasses guys. And now I understand why Times Square has such a big police presence. I'm convinced that all the cops from Battery Park were pulled to work the Theater District. I saw no police officers while waiting for the ferry, which is ironic, since there's a new police sitcom on TV called "Battery Park." Oh, wait. It's been cancelled already. See? They realized their mistake.
The ferry ride itself was uneventful, except for the point at which the boat passed by the front of Miss Liberty, and everyone ran over to the starboard side to take pictures. You could actually feel the boat tilt. I wanted to shout to Miss Liberty, "Show us your larboard side," but I resisted the urge.
Street entertainment is a big part of the Walt Disney World theme park experience, and it's just as important in New York City. We didn't see the Pu Yang Acrobats or the World Showcase Players, but we did manage to catch the following acts: a singer/guitarist at the Duffy Square TKTS booths; a tap dancer outside the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre; a drummer in Times Square; a man playing "The Addams Family" theme song on a steel drum in Battery Park; and not one, but two guys with big snakes around their necks.
Ah, here is where New York City really shines! Just as at Walt Disney World, the tourist may choose between simple pushcart fare or expensive nouvelle cuisine, along with just about everything in between. And if you think World Showcase has a good variety of ethnic cuisine, you ain't seen nothin' yet! Be warned, though, that many places don't accept credit cards (or Disney Dollars).
The first thing you need to know about New York City food is that the tap water is the best-tasting drinking water in the world. This is a very good thing, because most restaurants don't offer free refills on soft drinks. So drink up the free water, and wipe out the memory of that Florida swampwater you're used to drinking on vacation.
Don't be afraid to buy food from street vendors. It's good, and cheap. We bought a banana and an apple for a grand total of 75 cents one morning. You can get coffee and a buttered roll for a buck. And don't miss the knishes! They're yummy pillows of seasoned mashed potatoes inside a golden-fried crust. The soft pretzels are also excellent. But I think the biggest thrill of the trip for Mike and me was seeing a Mister Softee ice cream truck parked on the street, still playing that same old tinkly music it played back in the 60s. Whenever that truck would come by on a summer evening in the Bronx, all the kids would yell up to their mothers to throw down ice cream money from the apartment window. And down the change would come, wrapped up in a tissue. Mister Softee was as much a part of my childhood as Dole Whips from Adventureland are a part of my adulthood.
Don't leave New York without trying the pizza. You can get a little slice of heaven at a zillion different hole-in-the-wall pizzerias, or you can go to John's on 44th St. for a whole pie. (Even their matchbook announces "NO SLICES.") The great thing about John's is that the restaurant used to be a church. You would never suspect it from the outside, but walk inside past the bar into the main dining area, and look up. You will swear that you're Esmeralda standing under the stained glass window in Notre Dame Cathedral. We liked this place so much, we ate here twice. Totals, including tax and tip: $23.05 and $34.00.
Also on 44th St. is Carmine's, the home of heaping platters of chicken marsala, spaghetti, eggplant parmigiana, and fried calamari. Mama Melrose's may pretend to be a big city Eye-talian ristorante, but Carmine's is the real thing. Just about everything at Carmine's is big: the dining room, the chandeliers, the food, and the oversized oil paintings on the walls. Who is that dapper gentleman depicted in the portrait in the front room? Is it Carmine? Al Capone? Or maybe Enrico Caruso. Whoever he is, he looks like the kinda goodfella who will make you an offer for pasta you can't refuse. One look at this guy prompted Mike to say, in a godfatherly tone, "Dis does not please me." Jill got a big kick out of this, and for the rest of the trip, we were saying "Dis does not please me" at every opportunity. Final bill: $60.00.
What trip to New York would be complete without a visit to a Jewish deli? We chose the Carnegie Deli, famous for their overstuffed sandwiches. The seating area is cramped, the service is indifferent, the bathrooms are dingy, and they don't accept credit cards. ("Dis does not please me.") But wow, those sandwiches! I wish I had brought a tape measure with me. Mike ordered a combination pastrami/corned beef on rye, and I got the chicken salad. I swear there was a pound of meat on Mike's plate. Even Jill's grilled cheese had the thickest layer of melted American cheese I've ever seen. I also got a knish, which was approximately the size of a dinner plate. The cheesecake is the bakery version of a skyscraper, but we had no room for that. We each took half of our sandwiches back to the hotel, and had them for breakfast the next morning. Final bill: $45.00.
Being Disney veterans, we just had to visit a couple of themed eateries. The first was Ellen's Stardust Diner, on Broadway at 51st St. We had breakfast there one morning. This is a shrine to 50s kitsch, rather like the 50s Prime Time Cafe, but Ellen's has more of a New York attitude. I was especially fond of the Miss Subways posters scattered throughout the restaurant. I can recall riding the subway as a kid, and looking to see who the latest Miss Subways was. We received friendly service, and prices were reasonable. And I confess that every time I hear the name, I think of Ellen's Energy Adventure. Am I brainwashed, or what? Final bill: $28.30.
Our other themed dining experience was at the Jekyll & Hyde Club on 6th Ave., between 57th and 58th Streets. This place is a hoot! Think of a combination of the Adventurers' Club and the Haunted Mansion, with elements of the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater and Alien Encounter thrown in for good measure. For those who have visited Disneyland, toss in Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye as well.
Like other popular themed restaurants, Jekyll & Hyde has the inevitable long line outside. We waited about 30 minutes, which wasn't too bad, and gave us time to examine the details on the exterior of the building. It's a narrow townhouse, and it appears that a plane crash-landed on the roof some time ago. Unfortunately, the intrepid adventurers aboard the aircraft were incinerated while trying to escape from the wreckage by climbing down the wall of the building. (Either that, or they have gotten really, really dirty from all the car exhausts on 6th Ave. I think the first explanation is more appealing, don't you?) Along with these blackened skeletons, the facade boasts a large mask, reminiscent of Babylonia in the Adventurers' Club on Pleasure Island. At one point, the eyes lit up and the mask spoke, but we were too far away to hear what it was saying. Another amusing touch is the club doorman. He stands with his arm extended, as though trying to hail a cab. From the look of things, he's been out there for quite awhile.
Once admitted into the building, you and a select group of other adventurous souls are jammed into a tiny, dark vestibule. It is here that you will be "tested" to see if you are brave enough to become a club member. Let's just say that this involves a special effect that is the exact opposite of the stretch room in the Haunted Mansion. There's a magic mirror in this room too, on which our less-than-hospitable sinister host appears, and grudgingly acknowledges that we have passed the test. Onto the club!
We were assigned to the laboratory on the third floor. This is the kind of place where brains are stored in glass jars, and skulls are stacked on shelves. There are several other floors, one of which is a library. TV monitors throughout the room show clips from cheesy horror movies, like I Was a Teen-Age Werewolf. Every now and then, some live (or dead) event from the lower levels is shown on the monitors. And there are jokes, too.
Q: What's Godzilla's favorite game?
A: Swallow the Leader.
During our meal, we were visited by several characters. The charming and debonair Dr. Jekyll, wearing a top hat and elegant cape, was our first visitor. He was followed by a surgeon (whose name was something like Dr. Hacks-it-off), who tried to convince Jill that she should let him remove her fingers and replace them with French fries. Then she would never go hungry, because she could just snack on her fingers. Finally, a mad scientist, wearing a lab coat and goggles, and carrying a severed arm, stopped by and demonstrated the proper technique for doing a mad scientist laugh. (Throw your arms up in the air, toss your head back, and exclaim "Muwahahaha!") I should mention that in order to do this, he had to put down the severed body part. "Hold my hand," he said to Mike as he "handed" over the gruesome object. Jill wouldn't demonstrate the laugh, but my Mom, being the ham that she is, did a bang-up job of it.
At some point during the evening, Dr. Jekyll was transformed into Mr. Hyde. We watched the transformation on the TV monitors, and the unlucky character serving as emcee was, um, dispatched in a moment straight out of Alien Encounter. For the rest of our visit, Jill was afraid that Mr. Hyde was going to visit our table. I won't reveal whether he did or not.
My favorite character was an animatronic bat named Fang, who loudly announced that he was Master of the Underwear. Er, make that Underworld. He proceeded to make disparaging remarks about a couple of humans celebrating birthdays, before disappearing into the night. Jill's favorite was an animatronic robot at the table next to ours, who came to life, interacted with the people at the table, and then spewed smoke. ("Isn't this the smoking section?") It was just like Walt Disney's original concept for a Chinese restaurant with a talking Confucius and fire-breathing dragon! ("Hope no one in audience minds if dragon smokes?") That idea was later turned into the Tiki Room, of course.
We were pleased to note that the Jekyll & Hyde Club offers souvenir drink containers. Unfortunately, the Adventurers' Club at Walt Disney World no longer sells souvenirs. ("Dis does not please me.") The choices were a hurricane glass; a canteen; or a ceramic Tiki cup. The grown-ups chose the canteens, while Jill took home the Tiki. These were buy-one-get-one-free, so we ended up with 4 cups for $11.50. Not a bad deal at all. Final bill, including cups: $88.00.
And the food? It was very good! I had the sesame pork tenderloin, Mike had teriyaki steak, my Mom ordered a turkey wrap, and Jill had the ubiquitous chicken tenders. All in all, we thought Jekyll & Hyde was a great experience. The next best thing to Disney.
We stayed at the Doubletree Guest Suites at 1568 Broadway (47th St. and 7th Ave.) This is a modern 43-story hotel that is right in the heart of the Theater District. The Duffy Square TKTS booths, where you can purchase half-price Broadway show tickets, is right outside the door. The Palace Theatre, where Elton John and Tim Rice's Aida is playing, is next door. Location, location, location. This place is the New York equivalent of staying at the Boardwalk in Walt Disney World.
If only the views were as nice. Our suite, on the 16th floor, overlooked an ugly rooftop, with a modern glass office building beyond that. ("Dis does not please me.") The suite itself was very nice, decorated in tones of Cafe Au Lait and Eggplant. (I just love trendy decorator colors named after foods, don't you?) The living room contained a queen-size convertible sofa; two side chairs; a desk with dataport; comfortable office chair; round dining table on casters that tucked under the desk; coffee table; TV; phone; minibar; and a kitchenette with wet bar, microwave, fridge, and a good-sized safe. The bedroom was rather small, with two double beds; nightstand; phone; clock; side chair; and a large armoire that housed a TV, three drawers, and a wardrobe. Honestly, I think there is more clothes storage in an All Star room. The bathroom was large and attractive, with double sinks set into a long counter. There was a third phone in there, and a hairdryer. The bathroom had two doors, one of which opened into the bedroom, and the other to the living room. We received the USA Today on weekday mornings. The suite was priced at $269 (before tax) for week-ends, and $259 on weekdays.
Our Lion King package included 4 orchestra seats priced at $85 each. The hotel was also offering an Aida deal for $110 that included a three course dinner in the hotel restaurant and a ticket to the play. They also had dinner specials for Beauty and the Beast and Cabaret.
The Times Square area looks much better as far as litter is concerned. There is also a major police presence. This doesn't stop all the illegal activity, though. I went across the street to buy milk and orange juice on our last morning in the city, during a snowstorm, with the wind whipping the flakes around like a blizzard, and some guy tried to sell me a watch. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
The Disney Store at 42nd St. has been torn down, and a new building is going up in its place. However, there is a very large Disney Store on 5th Ave. at 55th St., where I picked up a couple of pins with Minnie Mouse dressed as the Statue of Liberty. There is also a huge Virgin Records store in Times Square. And we simply had to stop in at FAO Schwarz on 5th Ave. If you're in the market for a $6,000 lifesize plush rhinoceros, you're in luck. By the way, the Star Wars room is much cooler than the interior of Tatooine Traders at the Disney-MGM Studios. They were playing Phantom Menace on a big screen, and they even have an R2D2 made out of Legos. Let's see ... a big Disney store, a Virgin Records, and all the plush you could ever dream of. Hey, it's just like Downtown Disney!
Continued on Page 2
Yes, I'm a glutton for punishment. Take me to Page 2.
Table of Contents
Iago's Disney Page