Rossman Productions Present

"A Life in Progress"

Family, Marriage, Religion, Spirituality, and Fun

Home Page of Kathleen Ross and Anthony Manousos

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Kathleen  Ross now works part-time as the pastor of Montclair Methodist Church while Anthony Manousos continues to work as editor of Friends Bulletin and coordinator for the Youth Service Project sponsored by the American Friends Service Committee and the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers). Anthony recently edited an anthology called A Western Quaker Reader, Writing by and About Independent Western Quakers, 1929-1999. This site contains pictures of our extended family--church members, Friends, as well as foreign language students who have been our house guests during the past several years in a program called ASPECT.

This site also contains links to poetry, essays, sermons, and websites exploring spirituality, Quaker service, and other concerns close to our hearts. We hope that you find this site enjoyable as well as enlightening.

May your life be full of  Light and joy!

 Writings  and Other Links                                                              Photos

Anthony, Brother David, Jin-Ju (our Korean Aspect student), Capri, Kathleen, Adriana, and  Sister Catherine at Sea World

Anthony, Brother David, Jin-Ju (Our Korean Aspect Student), Capri, Kathleen, Adriana and Sister Catherine

Anna and Kathleen flying a kite at Redondo Beach

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Anthony with children of Bellflower UMC



Kathleen Preaching at First Methodist
Church in Whittier, 1998

Kathleen celebrating her birthday with her nieces Adriana and Capri Ross in San Diego

Kathleen with her niece Emily Carnevale at the petting zoo in New Jersey

Whittier College House Guests Nicole and Anna

Yashuo from Tokyo, Japan 

 Rina from Okinawa 
with her father and sister at coming-of-age party







Our house guest Sawa, high school English
teacher from Tokyo area













UMC of Whittier, 8/2/98


"Here’s Satisfaction for Your
Soul"


by Rev. Kathleen Ross


Hosea 11:1-11 




It is good to be here this morning! I’ve been looking forward to speaking
to you today, especially since it is my first opportunity to preach for you
while Dr. Faith Conklin is away. Some of you were here on July 19 when I
was introduced as the new part-time Minister of Discipleship. Actually, I
have not been appointed here by the Bishop. My full-time appointment is to
School as I begin my work toward the Doctor of Ministry degree. I completed
my seminary training at Duke Divinity School in North Carolina in 1980 and
have served as pastor of several United Methodist Churches in Arizona and
California for the past18 years. Now that I’m at midpoint of my career,
it’s a good time to retool and to retrain for the challenges of pastoring
churches into the next Millenium. My doctoral field will be in an area that
wasn’t even covered when I was in a Methodist seminary – evangelism.




Faith knew I was living in Whittier and would have a little time available.
So she asked if I could help with some projects at this church. Your Foundation
has graciously agreed to fund this position for 20 hours per week. One project
Faith suggested is my personal passion – helping United Methodist churches
to use their church-related Preschool to provide spiritual nurture for families
in our community, especially for those who do not have a church home. To
accomplish this I do two things. First, holding preschool chapel once each
week, on Wednesday mornings for the preschool age children and Wednesday
afternoons for the elementary, after school children. Secondly, I will launch
learning opportunities for the parents. I will not do this alone. I will
be recruiting eager volunteers to help both with Chapel and with parent groups.
The bridge we create from the church to Whittier Village Children’s
Center will help us accomplish our church’s primary mission: to Know
Christ, Share Christ and Serve Christ.




The reason for this ministry is that God has burning concern for each one
of those families, and for each family that is in our church. God has a deep
compassion for every one of you in this room today. God’s greatest and
most fervent desire is to embrace every person with a powerful, life-changing
love. Hosea, one of my favorite prophets, speaks about God’s profound
yearning for us in the eleventh chapter in the Book of Hosea. Won’t
you turn with me to page ____ in your pew Bible and follow along as I read
the first three verses. God says:




11:1 When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.


2 The more I called them, the more they went from me; they kept sacrificing
to the Baals, and offering incense to idols. 3 Yet it was I who taught Ephraim
to walk, I took them up in my arms; but they did not know that I healed them.
4 I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love. I was to them
like those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down to them and fed
them.




The names "Israel" and "Ephraim" are both names for "the people of God."
Hosea speaks so beautifully of how tenderly God loves us, like a parent for
a beloved child. I love that last phrase, where God says: I was to them like
those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down to them and fed them.
God loves us as tenderly as a parent loves the children. So we begin with
God’s love for us.




But in verse 2 Hosea reminds us of the sad reality that although God loves
us, we have not always loved God in return. He writes: "The more I called
them, the more they went from me; they kept sacrificing (giving of their
time and money) to the Baals (to false gods) , and offering incense to idols
(worshipping monuments and creations of human minds and hands)." We have
a deep yearning, an emptiness inside of us, a feeling of dissatisfaction,
and we look around to find something to give us the satisfaction we crave.
We try all sorts of things and nothing seems to work. Of course not. Nothing
can fill that God-shaped emptiness inside us except for…God. And I
don’t mean church activities. I mean a loving one-on-one relationship
with God’s own self. God created us, loves us, nurtures us – every
breath we take is a gift from God. Yet we (and I’m including myself)
we give most of our attention, devotion and passion to things that are not
God. And God’s heart is broken.




Hosea, more than any other prophet in the Bible knows what heartbreak is
all about. In our times we talk about dysfunctional families, families broken
by addictions, separation, unforgiveness, and betrayal. Hosea lived in one
of the most dysfunctional families in the Bible. While praying one day, he
asked God how he could help people understand God’s love for them. The
answer God gave him was the message that Hosea should go to the red light
district to choose a prostitute to marry. We would be horrified at such a
suggestion. We want to marry someone who will fulfill all of our dreams,
who will be a credit to our families, who shares our life’s goals and
will satisfy our longing for love with a good person. But Hosea, was a man
of faith. He had often heard God’s voice and followed His direction.
So he did what God asked.


He chose a prostitute named Gomer. Now Gomer was a was a little on the heavy
side, a little loud, and not too choosy about men. She laughed when this
pious, man of God asked her to marry him. But then she saw that Hosea was
serious and said yes. They had three children. But everyone could see the
marriage wasn't going to last, and it didn't. Soon Gomer took to hitting
as many night spots as she could squeeze into a night, and any resemblance
her next batch of kids had to Hosea was purely coincidental. It almost killed
him. Every time he raised an angry hand to strike her, he remembered his
love for her and burst into tears. She stayed out all night, but he always
opened the door when she finally showed up and helped her into bed. Then
one day she didn't show up at all. He swore that this time he was through
with her for keeps, but of course, he went out looking for her. When he finally
found her she was lying passed out in a bordello... She'd lost some teeth
and had a few scars, but Hosea had her back again, and that was all that
mattered. 1




It was then that Hosea understood that the love he had for his faithless
Gomer was the same enduring love that God wanted to give to the people who
had deserted God. He understood that no matter how far we stray from God,
God will go after us to invite us to come home again and be with Him.




Hosea’s persistence in seeking for Gomer reminds me of the persistence
of my husband Anthony. We first met in a Quaker Retreat Center outside of
Philadelphia where we were students for nine months. I was on a sabbatical,
touring retreat centers across the U.S. with an idea of helping our Annual
Conference start a United Methodist retreat center in California. Within
a month of our first date, Anthony asked me to marry him. But I had decided
many years before that I would remain a single pastor. I wanted to concentrate
all my energy on my work in the church. But Anthony didn’t take no for
an answer. When I returned to California, he packed up lock, stock and barrel
and moved to California to live at a flea-infested room at a Quaker meeting
house until he could convince me to marry him. What could I do? He was
intelligent with a Ph.D. in English, had good sense of humor, loved art,
music and poetry and was pretty good looking, besides being a faithful Quaker
and devoted follower of Christ. It was hard for me to change, to give up
my independence and to sacrifice my independence. But in the end, I just
had to say yes!




And although Gomer thought that what she wanted was to do her own thing,
in the end she could not resist either. Hosea offered her compassionate
forgiveness and passionate, unconditional love, which was a sign of God’s
grace to her. She had been looking for love in all the wrong places, and
finally found satisfaction for her soul.




God’s unconditional love pursues and won’t give up on us until
we say yes!




Now many people stay away from connecting with God in a Christian community
because they feel they are not good enough. Maybe they are overly critical
of themselves, or maybe they know they have not lived the way God would want
them to live. They may be afraid that Christians in church will judge them
and reject them, and so they stay away. They say, "God couldn’t really
love someone like me. God must be angry with me."




And indeed, we see in the next verses in Hosea chapter 11, that God expresses
some very strong emotions. Let’s look at verses 5-7. God is upset at
being left alone and lonely, and God’s first response is anger. God
says:




5 They (Israel) shall return to the land of Egypt (that is, to slavery),
and Assyria shall be their king, because they have refused to return to me.
6 The sword rages in their cities, it consumes their oracle-priests, and
devours because of their schemes. 7 My people are bent on turning away from
me. To the Most High they call, but he does not raise them up at all.




In other words, God says, "If my people love those other gods so much, then
I’ll just let the armies of Egypt and Assyria, who worship the Ba’als,
destroy the kingdom of Israel and force the people to worship other gods.
Why keep up this hypocritical charade any longer? Israel claims to worship
Me. Yet they ignore what I say as soon as the worship service is over!"




These verses deal with the painful reality of the consequences of leaving
God out of our lives. Use a finger to hold your place in Hosea, and now turn
with me to page ____ in your pew Bible to Colossians chapter 3. Read with
me what St. Paul writes in verses 5- 6:




Colossians 3:5-6 Put to death, therefore, whatever in you is earthly:
fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed (which is idolatry).
On account of these the wrath of God is coming on those who are disobedient.




Pretty scary words! Paul makes clear which behaviors lead us away from God.
And most of these are behaviors that our culture tells us are healthy and
normal. Greed is good, safe sex is good, expressing your anger at people
is good, getting the other guy before he gets you is good. And our culture
says that if you pursue these things you will have satisfaction. Then why
are there so many unsatisfied people who practice this self-centered life-style?
It’s because An unpopular three letter word for this kind of behavior
is one I don’t much like to hear either. The word is "sin". The result
of sin, Paul says, is the wrath of God.




Now when Paul uses the term "wrath of God", he gets our attention. We know
what wrath is all about. It’s what hit the fan when we do something
wrong and our parents (or our bosses or our spouses) find out about it. But
the difference between God and our parents is that God is never angry at
us. God is angry at our behavior. God is wrathful toward sin. God is angry
at what sin does to our relationship with God. But God still loves us. Some
preachers say that God punishes us for our sin. I don’t agree that God
deals with us like an outraged parent. God deals with us like a calm loving
parent who has seen that His child’s behavior is leading to dangerous
waters. Then God, our loving Parent does, allows us to experience the
consequences of our sin. Now sometimes those consequences may not become
clear to us for days, months or even years. But eventually, the results of
doing the opposite of what leads to an abundant, satisfying life become
abundantly clear.




Look at copies of any tabloid at supermarket newsstand and watch the sad
progression of sin at work in the lives of celebrities: compulsive behavior,
obsession with image and self, worship of money and fame leads to consequences
of divorce, child custody battles and alimony fights. And the reward? More
money and more fame, but no love, no forgiveness.




But God wants to forgive. Look at verse 8 in Hosea: God says,


8 How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, O Israel? How
can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart recoils
within me; my compassion grows warm and tender.




God loves Ephraim, which is another name for Israel, the people of God. God
does not want any of His children to suffer the consequences of sin. The
cities of Admah and Zeboiim are ones that were destroyed when the evil cities
of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. Even in the midst of His frustration
with sin, God recoils from annihilation. Above everything else God wants
to forgive us of our sin, our behaviors that lead to brokeness and pain.
Repentance is the only solution, but it is so hard.




Some years ago I was given a hard lesson in repentance and forgiveness in
one of my churches. With the concurrence of the Nomination Committee, I decided
to make a change in the committee responsibilities of our Lay Leader in the
coming year. When I shared this with him, he was very upset. He saw it as
a demotion, and he was bitterly opposed to the change. I reported this to
Nominations Committee, and they agreed to leave him in the same position
in the coming year. But he did not forgive me. Instead, he began a campaign
to remove me as pastor, and threatened to leave the church with his family
– and they made up most of our choir!


Naturally I was hurt and upset. Most pastors like people and want people
to like them. Some pastors like to throw around their authority, but they
are in the minority. So I tried to make amends. Even though I thought the
first decision had been a good one, I apologized for having hurt his feelings.
He refused to accept my apology. He was unable to remove me as pastor since
his was a minority opinion, so he sulked in the choir loft every Sunday.


Then I became angry, and I shared my anger with my small group. (Small groups,
incidentally were invented by John Wesley so Christians could share their
spiritual struggles in a supportive community. We hope to start many new
small groups in our church this year.) Over the years I had come to trust
this small group to keep what I said confidential, and to tell me the truth
about myself. When I shared my situation, a member of the small group spoke
the Word of God to me. She said: "Who is the one who needs God’s forgiveness
now? Your anger and bitterness are only making you sick inside. Your resentment
is only making the situation worse. You must repent of your bitterness. And
you must pray for this man."


Pray for my enemy? This seemed a radically idea, but somehow familiar! I
knew deep inside that that was exactly what God wanted me to do. So I did
repent and I prayed for him for a month, for two months, for six months,
for a year. I knew that if we were to be reconciled, someone had to make
the first move, and it seemed that someone would have to be me. The Lay Leader
did not leave the church, but his pride kept him from talking to me. When
the year was over, the Bishop decided to appoint me to a new church so my
husband could be closer to his work. On my last day, his wife came to me
and said, "My husband and I are sorry for what happened between us. In thinking
it over, we realize that the reason we resisted you was because you and he
are so much alike. We all love this church, and want it to grow. We just
disagreed about how it should be done." Through repentance and prayer and
persistence in loving forgiveness, God took away our sinful brokenness, and
restored our connection. And after a year of pain, we felt healed, satisfied
and at peace.




Hosea concludes this passage in verses 9 through 11, where God says:




9 I will not execute my fierce anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim; for
I am God and no mortal, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in
wrath. 10 They shall go after the LORD, who roars like a lion; when he roars,
his children shall come trembling from the west. 11 They shall come trembling
like birds from Egypt, and like doves from the land of Assyria; and I will
return them to their homes, says the LORD.




God wants to return us to our home with Him. Only in our Father’s house,
loving and serving the Lord, can we find the deep and abiding satisfaction
for our souls.


_________________________________________________


1 This adaptation of Hosea’s story is from Frederick Beuchner.




EXPERIENCING THE LIGHT 


AS A QUAKER AND AS A METHODIST


by Anthony Manousos




I appreciate being asked to pinch hit this morning for Kathleen since I
wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the prayers of some elderly
Methodist ladies in Pomona. When Kathleen went back East to study at a Quaker
study center called Pendle Hill eleven years ago, these women said to her,
"We’ll be praying that you meet a nice young man and get married." My
wife just laughed; she had no desire to get married, she was happy being
single, thank you very much. But the prayers of elderly Methodist women must
be very powerful because Kathleen ended up meeting and marrying me, much
to her surprise!


It will ten years ago this New Year’s eve that Kathleen and I were married
in the manner of Friends at Claremont Friends Meeting. Most of the 150 or
so people who attended our Quaker wedding were Methodists. We didn’t
have a minister, or any set order of worship. We just sat in front of the
congregation, said our marriage vows, and waited for the Spirit to inspire
us. There was a long silence, and then various people stood up and shared
their messages. Some sang hymns. Some told stories. One Methodist pastor
who was Kathleen’s buddy even told a joke. Everything happened
spontaneously, and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of our lives.
It’s amazing what happens when you let go and let God conduct the worship
service!


When Kathleen first told her Methodist Friends that she was marrying a Quaker,
some of them asked, "Does he wear buttons?" So let me begin by saying that
Quakers are not Amish. We Quakers believe in living simply, but we aren’t
opposed to modern technology. As Quakers, what we try to do is get rid of
anything in our lives that stands between us and the Spirit.


Like the Amish, Quakerism began in the 17th century during a time of violent
social and religious upheaval. Europe was torn apart by religious wars. Religious
fanaticism was rampant. Christians were killing other Christians, burning
heretics, hanging witches, all for religion’s sake. Then along came
George Fox, the founder of Quakerism. He was of humble origins, a leather
worker by trade, and he was looking for answers to spiritual questions. He
went to the ministers and religious gurus of his time, but none of them could
help him. Then one day George sat down in utter despair and waited on the
Lord. Here’s what he said about this experience in his Journal:




"When all my hopes in [preachers] and in all men were gone, so that I had
nothing outwardly to help me, nor could tell what to do, then, Oh then, I
heard a voice which said, ‘There is one, even Christ Jesus, that can
speak to thy condition,’ and when I heard it my heart did leap for
joy….And this I knew experimentally."




This was the beginning of a radically new "experimental" religious movement.
By "experimental" Fox meant that religion has to be based upon inward experience
rather than upon dogma or external authority. All the trappings of
religion—stained glass windows, church buildings, even hymn-singing
and the sacraments—have to be eliminated so we can have a direct experience
of God’s presence. Quakers come together, sit in silence, and wait on
the Lord. There is no order of worship, no paid minister, no prearranged
sermon. People speak out of the silence only when they feel a leading of
the Spirit. This seemingly formless form of worship sounds simple, but it
is very powerful and profoundly changed people’s lives.


In its early days, Quakerism was very evangelical. Quakers traveled all over
England, and the rest of the world, sharing their Good News. "Christ is come
to teach his people himself." That was the Quaker message. Christ promised
to send the Holy Spirit to teach us, and it is available now, just as it
was in the time of the apostles. Each of us has a direct link to Christ.
We just have to pick the phone, so to speak.


Early Quakers had other good news. They believed that there is "that of God"
in every person. This meant that women as well as men could preach the Word
of God since everyone is equal in God’s sight. This was very controversial
then. In the eighteenth century, Dr. Johnson said of a Quaker woman preacher.
"A woman’s preaching is like a dog’s walking on its hinder legs.
It is not done well, but you are surprised that it is done at all"
(Boswell’s Life of Johnson, p. 327,). Fox along with other Quakers felt
quite differently about women preaching. Long before other Christian
denominations recognized women ministers, Quaker women could get up in meeting
and preach just like men. Many Quaker women became leaders in prison reform,
the anti-slavery movement, and the women’s rights movement.


The other important Quaker message was non-violence. Quakers believe that
Christ does not intend for us to fight with what George Fox called "carnal
weapons." To overcome evil, we must do use spiritual weapons, and the most
powerful spiritual weapon of all is love. For this reason, Quakers have preferred
going to prison to going to war. In the 20th century many Quakers became
conscientious objectors, and so many became active in doing relief work after
wars that in 1947 they were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.


What do Methodists have in common with Quakers?




The Quaker historian John Punshon has noted that "there are many parallels
between the emergence of Quakerism as a force in the Seventeenth Century,
and the rise of Methodism in the Eighteenth. Each is due in considerable
measure to the work of one tough, energetic man of vision and deep spiritual
experience. George Fox and John Wesley came from different stations in life,
but each found, ultimately, that the church of his birth was too narrow to
contain him. Each spent his life bringing other people to Christ. Each in
his way emulated Paul. Wesley was a great traveler for the faith, Fox was
a great prisoner for it" (p. 148).


Many of you probably know of Wesley’s conversion experience. As a young
man, he went to church, studied the Bible, and tried to be a good Christian,
but something was missing. Like Fox, Wesley recorded many of his religious
experiences in his Journals, and one of the most significant experience took
place aboard a ship heading back to England after a very unsuccessful ministry
in Georgia. A great storm arose, and the ship began to rock back and forth
so violently that many people were terrified that the ship would sink. Only
one group seemed unperturbed: a group of Moravians who cheerfully sang hymns
while the storm raged. Wesley came to realize that religion is more than
just following rules and being a good person. You have to have total faith
in God’s love and grace. When Wesley opened himself up to that faith,
he felt what he called a "heart warming experience." He knew from experience,
and not simply from reading the Bible, that God’s love is limitless
and can utterly transform our lives.


Wesley also believed that God wants to save everyone. This may seem obvious
today, at least to most of us sitting in this room, but it wasn’t obvious
to everyone in Wesley’s time. The Calvinists and Catholics felt that
only a select few were predestined to be saved by God. The vast majority
of people are hopelessly damned. Wesley believed that God’s plan is
for everyone to enjoy eternal happiness.


Here’s how John Punshon described the enthusiasm of early Methodists
and Quakers. "The religion that [the Methodists] preached was, like the
Quakers’, based on personal experience and the inward witness of the
Holy Spirit. The Methodist converts, like the early Quakers, were possessed
of an irrepressible joy. At first there was a minimum of organization, and
the institution of the class meeting and lay preacher drew out and utilized
the talents of those who would have remained passive members of a more formally
structured church" (p. 149).


The core of the Methodist faith lay in small groups of people coming together
to experience and share the good news of Christ entering and transforming
their lives. This experience seemed so close to Quakerism that many Methodists
became Quakers and vice versa.


In 1748, Wesley became concerned about the excessively cordial relations
between Methodists and Quakers, so he wrote a tract pointing out the theological
differences between the two groups. Unlike Quakers, Methodists do not deny
the importance of sacraments. Methodists are also much more Christ- and
Bible-centered than Quakers.


Despite these differences, Quakers and Methodists have had many fruitful
contacts over the years. John Wesley became opposed to slavery largely because
of a Philadelphia Quaker named Anthony Benezet. Many Methodists have been
influenced by Quakers who were pacifists or activists in the feminist and
Civil Rights movements.


Methodists have also influenced Quakers. If you go to First Friends Church
here in Whittier, you might imagine you were actually at a Methodist worship
service. There is a paid minister, hymns, and Bible reading. The only differences
you’d notice is that there are no sacraments such as baptism and communion.
Instead, there is ten minutes or so of silence in the middle of the worship
service. This is called "communion in the manner of Friends."


Quaker churches like Whittier are called "programmed" to distinguish them
from the more traditional Quaker worship services which take place entirely
in silence. Programmed worship developed as Quakers moved West in the nineteenth
century and felt the need to "compete" with evangelical churches like the
Methodists.


I am a bit unusual because I am bi-congregational Quaker. I am a member of
both First Friends Church and an unprogrammed traditional Quaker meeting
called Whitleaf that meets on the Whittier College campus. I am also a
card-carrying Methodist. I was given a card by the Methodist men of Del Rosa
United Methodist Church when I served as a youth pastor at my wife’s
church in San Bernardino for five years. I was so impressed with the youth
work done by the Methodists that I helped to start a youth service progra