THE TRIP
I left for China on December 8, 1997 with my mother, Arline. Andi was 9 months pregnant and clearly unable to travel. We had arranged the week before I left to have a consulate appointment on the morning of Thursday December 18 which would allow me to get the visa later that same day and then fly directly home as opposed to the rest of the group which would see the consulate on Friday and then have to wait until Monday to get their visas before heading home. I was thereby cutting 4 days off my trip which I hoped would get me back home before Andi gave birth. I got a fax of the new itinerary in China and boy did I need it leaving China, more about that later. Those 4 days turned out to be crucial because without them I would have missed the birth of my other daughter by 12 hours! But now, the rest of the story.
We left Philadelphia for Los Angeles with several other couples from our adopting group. After arriving in Los Angeles we had a layover before we caught the LOOONG trip to Seoul, South Korea on Asiana airlines. The 14 hour flight included 3 meals, 4 movies (Metro, Volcano, Batman & Robin and Partners) and at least 5 trips to the head! The flight crew was great and the food was even pretty good too! Even had smoked salmon for breakfast! After arriving in Seoul we met up with the remaining families in our travel group. There were 14 families in all, going to 3 different provinces. Our group was going to Hunan in a group of 5 families.
From Seoul we hopped over the Sea of Japan to get to Shanghai on a China Eastern flight. They served something called "treated Peco". Nobody could identify if this stuff was animal vegetable or mineral so we all just sort of left it alone. We then caught our final flight of the day to Changsha, the capital of Hunan, which was to be our base of operations.
A quick 40 minute ride to the hotel, the Hua Tian, and we were able to collapse in bed after a 40 hour trip where sleep did not come but adrenaline was available in abundant quantities. The beds were incredibly hard, but did I notice? No!!! The next day we were to get our children!
Dinner that night was attended by about half of the group and was out first taste of the local cuisine. It was delicious and even if I could barely taste the food at least I knew we would not be starving. One of the things I noticed was the elevators in the Hua Tian. They had rugs that told you what day of the week it was! Each day the rug changed and had the day embroidered into it. Pretty handy when you have trouble remembering what day of the week it is! They must have lots of adoptive parents in the hotel!
The babies are coming !!
We woke up excited and ready to start the day. Little did I know that my day was to not start out the same way as everybody else's. We drove to the registrar and handed over our payments and answered some simple questions. Since the Chinese did not know of Andi's condition, it would not have changed our status anyway, I was adamant about just saying she had a medical condition which preveneted her from making the trip. The registrar asked if it was anything serious and I explained to him that "No, nothing serious it should clear itself up in a few weeks!" Boy was I ever clairvoyant on that one! We waited in a small cold room, no heating in this building, and anxiously waited to hear the sounds of babies in the hallway.
Soon, a caregiver came in and handed over her precious bundle to Robert and Kathleen, a young couple like us, getting their first child. The women wept a little a bit as she handed her over her precious bundle that she has cared for for the last 5 months. The baby was silent for the first few moments but sure enough, as the caregiver left, she began to wail. Softly at first, but picking up steam and soon bawling as only a baby can. What we did not know at the time was that was the last peace Robert and Kathleen would have for the next 5 days. If this baby was not moving she was crying poor Robert would walk the hotel at night just to soothe the baby so she could rest.
The next child
in the door was Robert and Francine's baby. They had brought their 2 1/2
year old daughter, also adopted from China, with them on the trip as well.
The soon-to-be big sister was eagerly waiting for her new baby sister and
was soon rewarded when another came in with the next adorable little girl,
also around 5 months old. Francine told Daphne, our guide, to tell the auntie
that she would care for and love this little girl forever. It was quite an
emotional moment and everyone was moved by the sheer outpouring of emotion
for that lucky little girl.
Next up, Patty and Scott baby was marched into the room. The commotion in that little room started to heat up as their baby started wailing the instant she went into Patty's arms. I was snapping photos for them like mad to try and capture the moment for them as best I could. Babies crying, flash bulbs flashing, caregivers silently suffering as their charges were handed off to their new parents. I am sure I have never been that close to an electric atmosphere in my life. My anticipation was only heightened as Dave, another soon-to-be Dad, and I looked at each wondering whose baby was coming next. But it was not to be....
Getting Arden
Daphne came in and explained to us that we would not be getting our babies that morning. I am sure the looks on our faces could not possibly hide our disappointment. We were told the 3 babies here that morning were from YueYang County whereas our babies were from YueYang City. The end result was that we would not see our children until that evening after we traveled the 120 miles to YueYang by bus, about a 4 hour trip. We filed out of the building back into the bus to go back to the hotel so the new families could get acquainted with their daughters. In retrospect, not getting Arden saved her from 8 hours of bus travel in 1 day, so it was for the best of the babies, and that was the paramount concern. Dave and I just shrugged it off after the initial shock and decided it was for the best.
Later that day we made a mini-luggage set for our 1 night trip to YueYang, on the shores of Lake Dongting. Cramming every baby thing we had in a little carry on was tough but did not know what state she would be in, and as I did not want to be unprepared, it all came with. Our first stop was to the notary, where the bulk of our fees were paid. About 6 PM that night, after the sun had set on a typically dreary winter day in that part of the world, we pulled up to the orphanage. We walked into a conference room and were seated while the orphanage director spoke a few kind words and told us he was happy how the children would be going to good homes.
Not soon after Arden came in bundled up to the hilt with 3 layers of clothes on a hat that was about 3 sizes too small. Upon removing here hat I got my first shock of the evening. They had shaved Arden's head but left a patch on type like a Marine sergeant! We were told it was a 1000 year old hair style, but most Chinese who saw it seemed to think it should have stayed 1000 years ago, but were good natured about it. Both children from that orphange received the same haircut so it seems they were just following custom.
As they placed her in my arms she remained as wooden as a doll. Her eyes would not meet mine as if she knew that I was taking her away from the only place she had known, and she could not bear to look at me. I and anticipated something of the sort and gave her the doll Andi had instructed me to give her. Arden clutched the hair of that doll and did not let go for about 6 hours. I bent my face to hers and told her in a whisper, almost a croak as I was choking up a bit,
"We've been waiting a long time to meet you."
I pressed her cheek to mine so she could feel the warmth of my face. She did not respond but I hoped she understood that I was there to protect and her and love her and be the best dad I could. Daphne's voice came into my ears, almost as if from a dream, and asked if I had any questions for Arden's aunties.
I broke my eyes away from Arden's face and turned around to see women with tears in their eyes looking longingly at Arden. I asked "What did she like? What does she like to do?" 6 months agonizing over that question and writing up a page of specific things I wanted details of and that was all my mind could think of! They replied "She likes toys." With that the director gave us a few momentos of the occasion, including a book about YueYang, her place of birth. They told us she had had a cold last week and she was in the hospital to get a shot. They would not tell us what was in the shot. Dr. Chen had been hired by the group to come with us and stay with us for the week to provide medical care for the babies. He gave us some medicine to help Arden with her congestion. Pills that we were to crush up and feed to her in a mush. Less then 15 minutes after we had arrived we were heading back to the bus. I was now a Dad and I was about to get a crash course in baby care.
Now I have her, now what ?
We drove to our hotel for the night, appropriately named the YueYang Hotel, and undressed Arden to see exactly what state she was in. We laid her down on the bed and she remained exactly where we placed her. No movement whatsoever. We got down to skin and saw that she was apprarently very well cared for. Although diagnosed with malnutrition and rickets on her medical report, she looked well fed and hardly malnourished. She did however have a scar on her ankle, going all the way around. A mark put on her by someone, her mother? her caretakers? to show how much they loved her. I knew it was part of their culture and I wasn't upset but it raised questions in my mind, like who did it and what were they feeling when they did it. Her first diaper change, and for that matter each messy one for the next 9 days was an adventure in diarrhea, and how to clean a baby's bottom without getting it all over you. She was asleep by 9PM. After a $28 phone call back to Andi to let her know we had Arden we crashed for the night as well.
My mother was an invaluable resource, and was the voice of calm when each new situtation presented the inevitable "How do I ...?" question. Each new day Arden would show us a little more of herself. Over the course of the next 4 days, she showed us she could sit up by herself, pick up Cheerios and eat them herself. This came after the discovery that she had 8 teeth! 4 on top and 4 on the bottom. I was expecting maybe 1 tooth at most, but that shows you what I know! She also stood up and started holding onto the table and walking while holding on! I was sure that the next day she would be walking and talking and reciting the Gettysburg Address! Her facial expressions went from a blank stare to laughing at the slightest provocation, usually a quick game of peek-a-boo or gentle tummy tickle. The only negative was the diarrhea, a case of diaper rash that came from the 4 hour bus ride back to Changsha, and stayed for 5 days, and what we thought was an ear infection, which turned out to probably her way of telling us she was tired.
Exploring Changsha
We spent the next few days taking small trips each day to a farm in the countryside to see how the farmers lived. It was very crude, livestock slept in the house with them on one side, family on the other, but they seemed very happy. We stopped at a State run embroidery factory where we picked up some beautiful things for what seemed like dirt cheap prices. Mom, the embroidery expert recognized the hand craftsmanship and marveled at their skill. We went to a Friendship store, which is like a Department store except they have employees for every 10 square feet of shopping space! You can't glance at an item without them coming over to pick it up for you and show you its features. Our caucasian faces cause surprised looks wherever we went and our appearance with Chinese infants made them even more curious. They were almost always friendly and the children tended to stare at us like we were from the moon, but to them, we probably were. We would wave hello to them and they would giggle and point and run off to make sure we had not seen them staring. We went to a local museum to see a 2000 year old women preserved in an airtight tomb. Boy was she crotchety! The building was freezing but we managed to keep moving and stay warm. My favorite stop was at an elementary school.
We went into a classroom of 9 and 10 year olds, there were 70 children in each room! They saw us and went wild! They sang songs for us and demonstrated their talents, from twin girls dancing, to story-telling, to a karate demonstration. They wanted us to sing to them, and all we could think of was Jingle Bells! Even at that I think we screwed up the 2nd verse but they didn't notice. They wanted to ask us questions and wanted to know our names, if we had other children, and what our hobbies were. The best question was what did we do for an occupation. Dave was first to answer and told the children he was in the Air Force. They loved that answer and clapped enthusiastically. After a few school teachers had answered, I told them I built airplanes. It was as simple an answer as I could think of. The children really roared their approval for that! Next up was Robert, he told them he was an accountant and the room fell silent! He was stunned! He said "What's wrong with that?! Its a very important job in society!" We all cracked up! They had probably never heard of one and just did not know what one was. Crestfallen, Robert looked from his video camera and looked askance at us. We assured him that we all thought accountants were very important people.
After the questions the children rushed forward to get our autographs! I felt like Cal Ripken at the All Star Game! Children pushing paper and pen at you just wanting you to leave them some momento of your appearance in their class. It was very gratifying to say the least. We left the school and had a new running joke about Robert for the rest of the trip!
On to Guangzhou and the Day of Hell
We left Changsha and flew to Guangzhou on Wednesday December 17 to complete the adoption with the U.S. Consulate. The day of the flight Scott took ill and could barely shuffle along to get on and off the plane. I helped with his luggage as he was in no shape to be lifting anything. We got in yet another bus and went to the Dong Fang hotel where we would meet up with all 14 families. In the course of 48 hours I would take 5 plane trips sleep in 3 hotels and make life generally miserable for my mom who had been a trooper up to this point. The other groups were delayed into Guangzhou including our main guide Jon Tao! I needed him if I had any hope of completing medical exams and the consulate in 1 fell swoop tomorrow. At 11:30 that night he arrived and we sat down in his room to fill out the forms I would need the next day. Awaking at 6 AM the most hectic day in my life began.
Take taxi to Medical Exam to be there as soon as it opened.
GO through initial medical exam, no problems, just 1 cranky kid
Go get pictures taken for visa
Go to consulate for 10 AM appointment
Head back to medical to pick up final report
Back to consulate to deliver medical report for visa application, and pay fees before 12 PM
Enjoy leisurely 1 hour of rest in White Swan area and see rest of group converging on hotel from their late morning medical exams. Go to "Shop On the Stairs" for souvenirs and some momentos of the trip
Take bus with group back to Dong Fang for lunch
Check out of Dong Fang and leave luggage with bell hop
Taxi back to consulate for 3 PM pickup...
Documents not ready but...Jeannette has a birthday cake for Arden!! Its her first birthday and Jeannette has made sure its a proper one. The staff and several stunned waiting parents sing happy birthday to a child who could care less! It was GOOD cake though
Get visa profusely thank staff and promise a care package of TastyCakes when we get back to the States.
Take cab back to Dong Fang in horrendous traffic to get luggage. Mom decides she has had enough and is ready to snap but manages to hold it together, god bless her!
Get luggage, go to airport, leave our guide and fly on to Shanghai where he has arranged transportation for us when we get there to the Royal Hotel
Plane is delayed 3 hours. We arrive at 11 PM take 20 minute ride to hotel, collapse
Told you it was a busy day!
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