Parenting Our Children
Parenting Our Children:
CHAPTER FOUR:
EMPOWERING THE FAMILY THROUGH THE COMMUNITY
The preceding chapter addresses ways that courts that hear family-related
matters can assist families in meeting their parenting responsibilities.
This chapter addresses ways that communities can support and strengthen
families. The Commission believes that communities can help ensure that
both parents, whether married, separated, divorced, or unmarried, play
active roles in the lives of their children.
The Commission recognizes that extended families are usually the primary
source of support for their members. No outside support network can replace
loving family members and friends who are available to give comfort and
advice to someone going through a time of crisis or uncertainty.
Within families, grandparents traditionally have played a major role
in supporting families during times of uncertainty. Grandparents can be
a source of strength and wisdom for their children and grandchildren. Grandparents
may be caretakers for the children during family crises or take on a parental
role in actually raising them. Siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends
also can provide support. In short, families are and must be the first
line of support for parents and children in times of family difficulty.
When family or friends cannot perform this role, other resources close
to home must do so. Religious institutions, not-for-profit organizations,
associations and charitable groups, businesses, schools, and government
agencies can help families help themselves. The key for families is to
identify resources, determine which resources best meet their needs, and
avail themselves of those resources.
The Commission believes that communities must continue to encourage
the development of services to help families cope with life's stresses
and strains. These services may include education, skills training, counseling,
support groups, alternative dispute resolution, and mentoring programs,
and may be provided by a wide variety of organizations. Some services may
be aimed at teaching young people about the consequences of early marnages
and out-of-wedlock births and their effects on the future quality of their
lives. Others may prepare people for marnage and help couples confront
and resolve problems in marriage. When divorce is inevitable, community
programs can help parents come to terms with the divorce, resolve their
differences, and work out effective parenting arrangements for their children.
For unmarried parents, community programs can help parents fulfill their
responsibilities to their children in ways that are responsive to their
unique situations.
The Commission believes that communities
must continue to encourage the development of services to help families
cope with life's stresses and strains.
It is important to underscore the range of community resources potentially
available to families. Often neighborhood organizations, voluntary associations,
and charities can provide advice and assistance with problem-solving that
is grounded in expertise and experience in the community. Religious institutions
can provide spiritual guidance and support in seeking effective solutions.
Courts, as part of an enhanced role in the community, can provide help
to potential litigants and others who apply to them for legal assistance.
Businesses can help provide community supports for families and can help
their employees work productively by implementing family-friendly policies.
Schools can educate and can help young people and their parents address
problems. Public and private non-profit programs can provide income and
food, health care, job training, mediation, and social and mental health
services. Law enforcement agencies can protect those threatened with harm.
All of these varied community service providers should be knowledgeable
about the roles and responsibilities of other providers and should better
coordinate their efforts in order to avoid duplication and to fill gaps
in services.
This chapter presents the Commission's findings and recommendations
on ways in which communities can support and strengthen families and help
ensure that children receive the emotional and financial support of both
parents.
COMMUNITY EFFORTS IN SUPPORT OF FAMILIES
The Commission found programs operating in communities that provide
a wide range of services designed to strengthen families. These programs
assess family needs, identify existing resources and gaps in services,
and help families find the appropriate assistance and support. The Commission
believes that assuring a mix of family services in the community and promoting
awareness of them should be a priority for communities everywhere.
The Commission believes that assuring
a mix of family services in the community and promoting awareness of them
should be a priority for communities everywhere.
Many ways that communities can help families are discussed below. In
addition, Appendix H contains examples of the types of programs and approaches
that have come to the attention of the Commission. These may be a useful
reference for communities wishing to develop similar programs.
Preparing People for Marriage and Promoting Responsible Parenthood
The Commission believes it is important to teach young people how to
make responsible decisions about marriage and having a family and to help
parents of all ages fulfill their responsibilities to provide emotional
and financial support to their children. The high national divorce rate
and the fact that 30 percent of children in the United States are born
to unmarried parents underscore the need to do more to prepare young people
for marriage and parenting and to help parents meet their ongoing obligations
to their children.
A variety of community-based adolescent and youth programs are addressing
the need to educate and raise the awareness of the level of commitment
and maturity that it takes to sustain a marriage and to raise a child.
These programs help prepare young people to assess their readiness for
such important steps.
School systems in some States have developed school curncula on parenting
rights and responsibilities to help young people understand the legal,
financial, and emotional responsibilities of parenthood. The American Bar
Association (ABA) has developed an interactive video program for schools.
The video is designed to teach teens the communication and negotiation
skills needed to resolve common relationship problems that couples face.
Head Start programs and child care centers have helped teenage volunteers
experience what it is like to care for young children. These programs are
useful models for other community groups that want to help young people
prepare for marriage and parenting.
In addition to helping young people prepare for marnage, parenthood,
and maintaining a family, communities need to support the parenting efforts
of individuals who already have children. Whether married, separated, divorced,
or unmarried, parents often need the help of others to strengthen their
families and ensure that their children receive the financial and emotional
support they need. Community organizations, public programs, religious
institutions, and businesses all have roles to play in promoting responsible
parenthood.
Parents who live together may need various kinds of help to strengthen
their families. They may need help finding a job or improving their earning
capacity so that they can support their families adequately. They may need
assistance in managing their fmances or finding affordable housing. They
may need to learn to care for their children and provide appropriate guidance
and emotional support. They may need advice about the education of their
children. They may need to strengthen their relationship with one another
and renew their bonds of love and commitment. They may need to learn how
to resolve conflicts in a constructive way.
Parents who live apart from each other have many of the same needs as
parents who live together. In addition, they have special needs. They may
have more pressing needs for help with employment and increasing their
earning skills. They may need assistance to work out how they will share
parental responsibilities. If they are divorcing or have experienced an
acrimonious divorce with continuing hostility, they may need help to resolve
the conflict and focus on the well-being of the children. If they have
never married or lived together they may need help in creating a set of
shared parenting responsibilities.
The Commission heard from a variety of local programs that promote responsible
parenting that are designed for married parents, single parents, divorcing
parents, stepparents, and others. Some of these programs focus on increasing
family income through education, job training, and placement. Some focus
on teaching family life skills, such as parenting techniques, budget management,
and conflict resolution. Others focus on helping remarried parents cope
with the children's adjustment to the new marriage. Still others focus
on involving unmarried fathers in the lives of their children.
In addition to helping young people prepare
for marriage, parenthood, and maintaining a family, communities need to
support the parenting efforts of individuals who already have children.
For example, Ronald Mincy, Program Officer at the Ford Foundation,'
and Ralph Smith, Director of Planning and Development at the Annie E. Casey
Foundation,2 described for the Commission the initiatives their foundations
are supporting to promote responsible fatherhood. Working through a consortium
that includes the Fatherhood Project at the Families and Work Institute
in New York City, the Father Policy Institute at the Family Resource Coalition
in Chicago, the University of Pennsylvania's National Center on Fathers
and Families, and the National Practitioner's Network, these foundations
and others are supporting research and dissemination of best practices
in support of "fragile families" families headed by disadvantaged,
unwed parents. The Families and Work Institute's re
If they have never married or lived fogether
they may need help in creating a set of shared parenting responsibilities.
PAGE 54 MISSING
Mentoring At-Risk Teens
An important role for communities is providing positive role models
for at-risk youth. Adolescents, especially those who come from disadvantaged
backgrounds, can benefit greatly from relationships with adult mentors
who can help them set goals and plan the necessary education, training,
and development of positive attitudes to achieve these goals. Adult mentors
can help guide young people along the way, providing assistance and encouragement.
They can reinforce positive and productive behaviors, such as getting an
education, being a supportive parent, and learning and using conflict resolution
skills.
For example, Public/Private Ventures, a non-profit organization that
supports the development of program models that foster young people's success,
recently completed a control group study of a major mentoring program,
the Big BrothersBig Sisters (BBBS) of America. The study showed a dramatic
difference in the lives of high-risk young teens, ages 10 to 16, who participated
in the program. The BBBS youth showed a substantial reduction in first-time
drug use, school absenteeism, and fighting, as compared to their peers
outside the program. Overall, they were more trusting of their parents
or guardians and more likely to have good relationships with their peers
than the control group. These results came from providing adult friendship
and guidance on a regular and intensive basis, not from tutoring, anti-drug
counseling, or other problem-focused services. Other mentoring programs
emphasize the importance of having young adults become economically self-sufficient
and responsible. These avenue-out-of-poverty programs are intended to break
the cycle of dependency through education, training, and job placement.
They bring together businesses, employment and training systems, and the
jobready workforce. Like the BBBS program, they include a focus on establishing
healthy relationships between high-risk teens or young adults and adults
and/or peer support groups. As a result, young adults learn social skills
that enable them to connect to job opportunities in the labor market. Cleveland
Works, which was mentioned previously, is one such program.
Recommendation 11:
Communities should help at-risk teens set viable, long-term goals
and develop plans for achieving them through mentoring programs that reinforce
responsible behavior and through avenue-out-of-poverty programs that invest
in education, training and job placement.
Helping Parents Mediate Disputes and Address the Consequences of
Divorce
Divorce, separation, and remarriage place unique pressures on children
and parents. Children who cannot adjust to these changes often experience
long-term emotional problems. To avert these consequences, community-based
mediation agencies and family support groups can help family members resolve
disputes, learn to handle their feelings, improve parenting effectiveness,
and enhance self-esteem.
Community-based dispute resolution agencies, for example, mediate a
wide variety of family disputes. They mediate disagreements between married
parents, sometimes averting divorce. They mediate disputes of separating
and divorcing parents, helping them come up with a settlement and a plan
that focuses on the best interests of their children. They mediate disputes
between unmarried parents over issues such as establishing paternity and
arranging parenting time with children.
Community-based mediation services are often able to respond quickly
and comprehensively and are sometimes available free or at low cost. Indeed,
there is presently under-used capacity within many of these programs s
This may be because parents are unaware of the availability of these services
and how they work. To address this problem, the National Association of
Community Mediators in Washington, DC, a member organization for community
mediation groups, is developing a directory of the estimated 200 to 300
community-based dispute resolution organizations operating nationwide.
Beech Acres' Aring Institute in Cincinnati, OH, is a family support
organization that offers both mediation and emotional support to parents
and children who must adjust to the major life changes occasioned by divorce,
remarnage and other family transitions. Director Sally Brush told the Commission
that:
Probably the reason I'm still doing this 20 years later is because
of what the children have told me over the years about what the (divorce)
experience was like for them. We're raising half our children in families
where there's a divorce and we don't know how to do it well.9
Rainbows, an international non-profit organization operating in 46 states
and 10 foreign countries, offers training and curricula for establishing
peer support groups in communities to help children and adults who are
experiencing divorce, death, or other painful transitions. Its Founder
and President Suzy Yehl Marta told the Commission that:
Every divorce does not begin with the legal system but rather with
the emotions of grief. Each divorce is the death of a family unit, usually
the nuclear family. The emotions of grief are painful, complex, and often
conflicting, and they are felt by every member of the family, no matter
what their age.
Recommendation 12:
Communities should support the development and public awareness of
effective community-based, non-court, dispute resolution, and family support
programs that can help family members resolve disputes and address the
consequences of divorce.
Coordinating and Publicizing Community Resources
The Commission believes that collaboration among and within community-based
agencies is crucial to strengthening families. Two nationwide membership
organizations that work collaboratively to build strong families and foster
healthy child development are Family Service America, Inc., and the Family
Resource Coalition. These two nationwide membership organizations represent
some 1,100 community-based family service providers that offer a broad
range of services, including parenting education, literacy training, mentoring
of high-risk youth, substance abuse prevention, child care, and information
and referral services. The family service providers collaborate with local
agencies to coordinate service delivery to families.
These and similar organizations of member agencies are in a strong position
to build alliances with trained, neighborhood-based mediators, and to stimulate
the creation of mediation services in communities. Having mediators available
to train families in conflict resolution techniques and to mediate high-conflict
disputes would complement the efforts of these agencies to ensure family
well-being and the future of children.
In addition to coordinating efforts, communities need to compile lists
of local services and programs that help families meet their emotional
and financial responsibilities to children, and distribute those lists
to the public. The compilation can be shared with cities, counties, States,
and the Federal government through resource networks, libraries, computer
networks, large organizations, charitable groups, and clearinghouses. Many
"undiscovered" effective programs, once highlighted, can be replicated
successfully in other communities. Ideally, a national organization could
facilitate the publication and dissemination of the information gathered
at the local and State level and ensure that the information is complete
and current.
Some of these lists exist already on a national level. For example,
the Alliance of Information and Referral Systems (AIRS) and United Way
of America recently published The Directory of Information and Referral
Services in the United States and Canada.11 This 552 page directory
has information about social services broken down by State or province
and city. Family Service America, Inc., has published the Directory
of Member Agencies in the United States and Canada.12 The agencies
are listed by State and by social service subject. These and other directories
exemplify comprehensive compilations of services that are helpful both
to families and professionals. Ideally, directories should identify exemplary
programs that address:
Preparing people for marriage and promoting responsible parenthood;
Mentoring at-risk teens; and
Helping parents mediate disputes and address the consequences of divorce.
In addition to describing program service approaches, directories should
include key research and demonstration programs that address these areas
of study.
Recommendation 13:
Communities should develop and disseminate directories of programs
that help families meet their emotional and financial responsibilities
to their children and foster the creation of networks among these programs.
THE ROLE OF RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS
At its San Francisco public hearing, the Commission heard testimony
from a panel of local religious leaders. The testimony focused on the role
religious institutions play in preparing couples for marriage, preventing
divorce when possible, and easing conflict when divorce is inevitable.
The Commission also heard testimony regarding a wide array of family support
services that religious institutions provide in their communities.
A Focal Point within the Community
Religious institutions can be an important resource for individuals
considering marriage, for married couples, and for families needing support
related to a divorce or nonmarital birth. Indeed, because religious institutions
are a focal point for many families in the community, they often are the
first to know of family distress and the first to be in a position to help.
For this reason, many religious institutions provide a host of direct services
to families, ranging from marnage preparation to teen pregnancy counseling
to assistance in coping with the emotional effects of divorce.
...because religious institutions are
a focal point for many families in the community, they often are the first
to know of family distress and the first to be in a position to help.
Moreover, religious institutions have a valuable resource available
within their congregations: people who want to serve and be involved in
the community. Many of these people are skilled in the techniques needed
to provide assistance to families. If training is needed, the clergy often
can enlist training sources at little or no cost. And houses of worship
can easily be converted into a locus of services during off hours.
Marriage Preparation
Because two-thirds of all marriages in 1993 were performed in a religious
settingl3 religious institutions are an important community resource with
an opportunity to help couples objectively assess their relationship before
marriage. "With a 60-percent dissolution rate for new marriages, the
engagement should be rigorous enough that weak relationships break up before
marriage," says Michael J. McManus in his book Marriage Savers:
Helping Your Friends and Family Avoid Divorce.l4
Traditionally, the clergy have played an active role in preparing couples
for marriage and have formalized their advice through premarital courses
and curricula. For example, since the 1940s, the Roman Catholic church
has required engaged couples to complete a Pre-Cana Conference, a series
of lectures dealing with courtship, physiology, morals, and day-to-day
issues of marnage, in order to be married in the church. As the divorce
rate began to soar in the 1970's and 1980's, religious institutions responded
by developing more elaborate marriage preparation courses. They continue
to refine their approaches today. The Commission applauds the work of religious
institutions in helping prepare couples for marnage. It also supports their
efforts to discourage couples from marrying if they are not ready for the
commitment or responsibility or if they have unrealistic expectations about
marriage. For example, some religious institutions employ various assessment
techniques in combination with counseling, exposure to problem solving
and conflict resolution techniques to determine a couple's level of maturity
and compatibility. Some of the assessment techniques, are already in use,
e.g., FOCCUS, PREPARE, and are described in Appendix H.
Marriage Enrichment
Because marriages go through ups and downs in response to the stresses
and strains of daily life, couples often seek the support and guidance
of their religious advisor. In addition to the clergy's providing counseling
to individual couples, many religious institutions offer programs that
are designed to improve marital relations through various small group and
mentoring techniques. One of these programs is Marnage Encounter, a weekend
retreat involving three or four couples and a member of the clergy for
the purpose of strengthening the couples' communication skills and reinforcing
their commitment to marriage. Marriage Encounter began in the Catholic
Church in the 1960s and has been adapted for use by other denominations
such as the Methodists, Presbyterians, Episcopalians, Lutherans, and Jews.
Another divorce prevention program available to all faiths is Retrouvaille,
the French word for "rediscovery." The Retrouvaille program also
uses mentoring couples. In their testimony before the Commission, a Retrouvaille
mentoring couple, Ed and Peggy Gleason, talked about their approach:
We have a team of three (mentorJ couples (and) a priest or a minister,
and we present a live-in weekend experience where we tell couples what
we were like (as a couple), what happened to make us want to change and
reconcile, and what we are like now, and what our families are like now.15
Similarly, Marriage Ministry, which is Episcopalian in origin and modeled
afterAlcoholics Anonymous, uses a mentoring couple and a priest and requires
the couple experiencing difficulties to acknowledge each partner's responsibility
for his or her part of the problem. The Commission strongly encourages
religious institutions to continue their efforts and explore new ways to
help couples weather a major breakdown in their marriage and prevent divorce.
Family Adjustment
When divorce occurs, many families are in turmoil emotionally and financially.
The children of divorce often experience dramatic feelings of loss and
face significant lifestyle adjustments ranging from the departure of a
parent from the home to changes in residence, neighborhood, and school.
Parents experience the same losses, coupled with new responsibilities and
fears about how they will get along. Many divorcing families and their
children benefit from the support of religious institutions during this
time of crisis.
Many unmarried parents and their children also benefit from the attention
of religious institutions in their communities. The Reverend Cecil Williams,
Minister of Liberation, Glide Memorial United Methodist Church in San Francisco,
told the Commission of programs for unmarried parents offered by Glide
Memorial. These programs encourage unmarried parents to work together and
help them to provide emotional and financial support to their children.l6
The Commission urges religious institutions to develop programs especially
geared to unmarried mothers and fathers that will help them fulfill their
parenting responsibilities to the fullest.
Recommendation 14:
Religious institutions and other community-based groups should work
cooperatively to disseminate information about the positive impact on children
of the involvement of both parents in their lives and to adopt approaches
and expand efforts to reduce the rate and adverse consequences of divorce
and nonmarital births.
A Call to Do More
The Commission encourages religious institutions to make their talents
and capabilities in support of families accessible to the whole community.
In doing so, the Commission encourages religious institutions to expand
their efforts to coordinate with other community family service providers
in their work on behalf of families.
Given their stature in the community, the clergy should look for other
ways as well to expand their leadership in efforts to strengthen our Nation's
families. Specifically, the Commission calls upon religious leaders to
organize a national interdenominational summit to share ideas and methodologies,
and to develop strategies to better prepare individuals for marriage and
parenting, strengthen intact families, and provide support to families
in which parents have separated, divorced, or are not married.
Recommendation 15:
Religious leaders should convene a multi-level summit to develop
a strategic plan on ways to expand assistance in support of families and
provide the necessary interventions to help individuals prepare for marriage
and parenting, strengthen intact families, and support families in which
parents are separated, divorced, or unmarried.
THE ROLE OF BUSINESS IN STRENGTHENING FAMILIES
Businesses are important to communities and can help strengthen families
in two ways: by adopting family-friendly business practices and by collaborating
with community organizations and schools to build more effective supports
for families.
Family-Friendly Business Practices
Businesses can help keep families strong by providing the support and
flexibility that employees need to be good parents. This is particularly
important today, because most parents work outside the home.
Parents who work outside the home are often away for 8 to 10 of the
12 to 14 hours that their young children are awake. Like all parents, they
also must spend time transporting their children to activities, shopping,
cleaning, preparing meals, and otherwise maintaining the home. If children
are preschoolers, commuting time may be increased to transport the children
to and from child care, which often is neither near the home nor the workplace.
When a child is sick or otherwise unexpectedly at home, parents may have
difficulty caring for them because of their work responsibilities.
Flexible work schedules can help many of these parents to meet both
their family and employment obligations more effectively. Unfortunately,
relatively few workers enjoy such flexibility. In 1990, only 15.3 percent
of the private sector workforce was on a flexible work schedule. In the
public sector (Federal, State, and local governments), just 14.2 percent
of workers were on flexible schedules. While the public sector as a whole
has less flexible scheduling, 27 percent of Federal workers were on flexible
work schedules.
...broader adoption by businesses of
flexible work schedules, job sharing, telecommuting, employee-choice benefit
plans, child care support, and liberal family leave policies would be good
not only for America's families but a/so for businesses.
The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 increased the number of businesses
offering family-friendly leave policies by requiring employers to provide
unpaid leave at the birth or adoption of a child or for family medical
illnesses. Businesses can expand on that foundation and offer more time
off, including paid time, for a range of activities in which parental involvement
is crucial to the child's development. Businesses can also consider how
to lessen the impact of a school system's weather-related closings on parents
or how to better coordinate parents' work schedules with school calendars.
A major concern for parents is the availability of affordable, safe,
and nurturing child care. Businesses can help their employees grapple with
this issue by providing child care directly or through cooperative arrangements
with other businesses, subsidizing child care through pre-tax benefit dollars
or direct payment, or helping parents fmd child care.
The Commission also encourages businesses to sponsor organized children's
activities and employee family outings and other events. Such activities
strengthen workplace camaraderie and develop positive values in children
that carry over into adulthood.
Several resources are available to help employers construct family-friendly
workplaces. For example, the experiences of other businesses can provide
useful models. The Corporate Reference Guide to Work-Family Programs
and The State Reference Guide to Work-Family Programs for State Employees,
both partially funded by the Ford Foundation, rank 188 large corporations
and the 50 State governments respectively on their "familyfriendliness."
Child magazine featured an article by James Levine and Carol Hernandez
entitled "30 Great Companies for Dads" that highlighted businesses
whose workplace policies recognize the importance of family to men. Working
Mother magazine publishes an annual survey of the best corporations
in America for mothers working outside the home. Finally, organizations
such as the Families and Work Institute in New York City are a source of
ongoing information about polices of employers.
In short, the Commission believes that broader adoption by businesses
of fIexible work schedules, job sharing, telecommuting, employee-choice
benefit plans, child care support, and liberal family leave policies would
be good not only for America's families but also for businesses. Added
flexibility helps parents respond better to the needs of their children.
Businesses benefit by attracting more qualified job candidates, and achieving
a better ftt between employees and jobs.
Recommendation 16:
Businesses should develop family-friendly practices to build more
effective supports for families.
Businesses Working with Community Organizations and Schools
The Commission urges businesses to become active partners with civic
organizations, religious institutions, schools, service providers, neighborhood
groups, and parents themselves in building more effective supports for
families in their communities.
For example, in recognizing that today's students are tomorrow's workers,
businesses can play an active role with parents and teachers to make schools
effective places for young people to learn. The communications, goal setting,
planning, and problem-solving skills that young people will need to succeed
in tomorrow's world can be fashioned by businesses that work together with
parents, teachers, and students.
Some businesses have adopted schools or made their personnel available
to work with schools. In some instances, public/private partnerships have
involved businesses in investments of equipment and technical staff to
upgrade schools. For example, several companies contributed over $6 million
in cash, equipment and in-kind services toward the establishment of 13
high-tech laboratories to Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and
Technology inAlexandria, Virginia. Businesses have also worked with school
systems on programs to teach students about a particular aspect of business.
For example, the Open Gateways Program of Sun Microsystems Foundation,
Inc., supports 11 school districts in San Mateo and Santa Clara counties
in California through grants for hardware, software, and training. The
Foundation also supports SmartSchools NetDay, where Sun employees volunteer
their technical expertise in 35 schools in the Silicon Valley and the greater
San Francisco Bay area, and Sun provides products to the schools at substantial
discount. Businesses can receive favorable publicity from their involvement
in these kinds of endeavors and prepare a better trained pool of workers
from which to draw in the future.
THE ROLE OF GOVERNMENT IN STRENGTHENING FAMILIES
The Commission believes that government plays a vital role in fostering
the well-being of children and families and helping to ensure that children
receive the emotional and financial support of both parents.
The Federal government funds many programs that help families. These
programs provide a vast array of services in areas such as nutrition, health,
income support, child support enforcement, and child welfare. The Federal
government also provides leadership in research, disseminating information
about best practices, and being an information resource for communities.
For example, in June 1995, President Clinton directed Federal agencies
to begin a review of their programs, policies, research, evaluation, and
personnel practices to strengthen the role of fathers in families. Federal
agencies currently are engaged in this assessment, with the expectation
of improving family-related policies government-wide. The Federal government
can bring attention to issues, too, through initiatives and public education
campaigns.
State and local governments also have a key role to play. They not only
fund programs that help families, but also can do a great deal to encourage
innovative and effective programs in local communities that lead to greater
parental responsibility and nurturing of children. As parents are strengthened
and empowered and their children thrive, families can create powerful,
vibrant, attractive communities.
Although governments at all levels have a long history of addressing
the unmet needs of children and families, and much good is being done,
the Commission believes that governments must be learning organizations
open to new ideas and new ways of doing business. New and creative initiatives
are needed to marshall public, private, and nonprofit expertise to create
a common vision, set an agenda, and move toward realizing goals.
Family-Friendly Policies
Because government policies and programs have a major impact on people's
lives it is important for government to ensure that these policies and
programs work for families and do not unintentionally interfere with family
formation, family stability, and parents taking care of their children.
The Commission believes that government, in partnership with other public
entities, the private sector, and citizens, has a responsibility to help
build a society that values families and communities. One way that government
can do this is by ensuring that policies and program regulations further
rather than hinder parents' efforts to provide ongoing emotional and fmancial
support to their children.
The Commission believes that government,
in partnership with other public entities, the private sector, and citizens,
has a responsibility to help build a society that values families and communities.
Although the Commission did not have the resources to study and make
recommendations on government policies that promote or act as barners to
parents in providing emotional and financial support to their children,
it urges legislators and other government policymakers to examine these
policies and to be mindful of their effects when shaping future policies.
Since the 1970s, increased housing, transportation, education, and health
care costs, wage stagnation, and a high tax burden on the average family
have contributed to a decline of family formation and family disintegration,
greater child poverty, and economic insecurity among all but the wealthiest
Americans. It is important to consider the impact of government policies
on these trends. To cite just one example, under the current Federal tax
code two individuals who marry often pay higher taxes than if they had
remained single. The Commission believes this marnage penalty is one of
several tax and other policies that should be examined and reformed to
help parents support their children.
The Commission believes that there are many ways for governments to
pursue the goal of having family-friendly policies and programs. The Commission's
recommendations as well as ongoing efforts that the Commission supports,
are discussed in the remainder of this section.
Recommendation 17:
Governments at all levels should adopt as a priority the goal of
keeping both parents involved emotionally and financially in the lives
of their children.
Recommendation 18:
Governments at all levels should evaluate laws and policies with
respect to their effects on families.
Recommendation 19:
Governments at all levels should examine tax codes and modify them
to provide greater support for families with children and to eliminate
marriage penalties.
Collaboration Among Programs for Families
At least 30 States have initiated comprehensive reform strategies to
improve the coordination, integration, and effectiveness of services for
children and families, often using collaborative councils, commissions
or cabinets as a springboard for their efforts.22
These collaborative bodies take several forms. Cabinets or councils
generally include the State commissioners or deputy commissioners of various
childand family-service agencies. Sometimes a superagency is created with
line authority over several different agencies. These bodies may provide
strategic planning, policy development, budget development, recommendations
for funding reallocation, and coordination or supervision of parallel local
bodies. The Commission believes that these bodies can play a significant
role in ensuring that children receive the emotional and financial support
of both parents through the following kinds of activities:
- Collecting and analyzing information about marriage and divorce, and
the incidence and prevalence of non-marital births, to understand the trends
and determine if they suggest issues that need to be addressed.
- Establishing a common vision, goals, and agenda detailing how to promote
the financial and emotional support of children by both parents. Once underway,
this should be coupled with a broad public education campaign.
- Forging partnerships with programs in local communities to make positive
changes at the service delivery level.
- Encouraging the development of local directories of programs for families
to stimulate the use and replication of community based resources for fostering
and preserving good parent/child relationships. These directories will
enable communities to create networks of complementary programs to address
family needs. Directories should focus on model programs that address parenting
skills, marriage, divorce, residential and parenting arrangements for children
when parents live separately, and non judicial dispute resolution. Programs
can include those offered by public agencies, private organizations, schools,
religious institutions, and other concerned groups.
- Identifying desired results or benchmarks for children and families
to ensure accountability for taxpayer dollars spent. These results should
include a focus on increased involvement of both parents with their children
regardless of whether the parents are unmarried, separated, or divorced.
- Finding ways to use dollars more effectively by focusing on preventive
services, pooling resources from various funding streams, and leveraging
private sector dollars in the communities to reach out and serve parents
who need help to become or remain effective parents.
The Commission supports the efforts of States to improve collaboration
among family-focused programs at the State and local level and encourages
other States to follow the path of the 30 or more that have already begun
to implement these reforms.
Parent Leadership in Communities
There is a growing movement to utilize parent peer groups to help resolve
parenting problems and to develop parent leaders who will work constructively
with social service providers, community planners, and policymakers toward
a more responsive delivery of family services.
Parents Anonymous, Inc., and Head Start are two examples of programs
that emphasize the importance of parents helping parents and parent leadership.
Parents Anonymous, Inc. (PA), created in 1970 to help parents overcome
abusive behavior toward their children, has expanded its mission to include
2,000 neighborhood-based support groups that help parents acquire parenting
skills, share their frustrations about parenting, build self esteem, and
reach out to others in the community. PA plans to establish a Parents Anonymous
National Resource Center on Parent Leadership. The Center will promote
parent involvement and, even beyond involvement, parent leadership. Health,
education, and human service professionals will receive training and technical
assistance in methods of encouraging and supporting strong parent involvement.
Interested parents will receive training and materials related to advocacy,
self-assertiveness, communication, community building, and public speaking.
The goal is to develop parent involvement and leadership in planning and
implementing services to children and families all across America and to
inform key policymakers and the public about current issues facing families.
The Head Start program, which focuses on the developmental needs of
children, has a strong parent involvement and leadership component. The
Head Start Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, recently
published and disseminated to all Head Start grantees a Head Start Handbook
of the Parent Involvement Vision and Strategies. A good portion of
the handbook is dedicated to creating opportunities for parents to become
involved in decisions which affect their lives, the lives of their children,
and the functioning of their communities. For example, Head Start agencies
are urged to provide formal leadership training to parent volunteers who
are transitioning out of Head Start so that their leadership skills can
benefit community-based programs and organizations.
These and related efforts can greatly assist parents to become valuable
resources in their communities. The Commission believes that State and
local governments and private organizations should develop ways to identify
and train parent volunteers for this purpose. Volunteers would learn about
good parenting, problems that parents confront, group processes for problem
solving, skills in communication, knowledge of the local family support
system, and ways to access community resources that can help families in
times of crisis. Once trained, they would work with mothers and fathers
to help them resolve their parenting issues and develop the skills they
need to provide for their children. They would provide outreach, mentoring,
and peer support under the auspices of institutions in the community, such
as courts, family resource programs, schools, religious institutions, and
community centers. They would also take a leadership role in ensuring that
these institutions provide effective services to families in the community.
Recommendation 20:
Government and private organizations should encourage the training
of parent leaders who will help other parents improve their parenting and
problem-solving skills and will work to intluence and improve the delivery
of family services in their communities.
Public Schools as a Community Resource
Public schools represent an important community resource. Parents often
view schools as a critical first line of support for today's young people
and for families. School personnel teachers, principals, psychologists,
guidance counselors, and others contend with learning problems, behavioral
difficulties, and emotional distress on a daily basis. School-based services
may include child and teen counseling, comprehensive evaluations and needs
assessments, classroom intervention strategies, parent education, referral
services to outside agencies for specialized problems, and a host of other
activities that promote the well-being of children, youth, and families.
With all of these assets, schools are an excellent community resource.
Kentucky has pioneered the use of schools as community resource centers.
Over 500 family resource centers serve 700 public schools in Kentucky.
The schools and area social service providers collaborate to bring individualized
services to the children and families. These services include infant/toddler
care, intervention programs, counseling and mental health services for
children and their families, general education degree training for parents,
and home visiting for at-risk young mothers and their children. The Commission
supports these schoolbased efforts and believes that public schools are
a unique resource for families. School personnel, through their leadership
position in the community, can be natural role models for parents and children,
teaching positive, nurturing behavior by example. School-sponsored activities
that draw parents into the school with their children provide additional
opportunities for families to gain insights into the importance of parental
involvement in their children's lives. Schools can be an important resource
for community-based programs seeking to work with families in yet another
way. Schools generally are situated in residential communities and often
have space where community-based organizations and groups can provide a
wide array of services to assist children and families. Many schools have
kitchens, gymnasiums, meeting spaces, libraries, and on-site technology,
and often space is available for use by community programs during nonschool
hours at little or no cost.
Recommendation 21:
Public schools should be catalysts for widely based community efforts
to strengthen families and encourage parent groups to make greater use
of school facilities.
CONCLUSION
The Commission believes that communities can do much to assure the well-being
of children. Parents can be empowered and families can be strengthened
through community support. Coordinated assistance by various voluntary,
public, religious, and business institutions can help relieve the many
pressures on today's families and help parents obtain the tools they need
to better cope with their lives and their families.
What is needed is to better prepare young adults for marriage, strengthen
existing twoparent families, and support parents and children when marnages
dissolve or families do not form. For some communities that means adopting
proven approaches and finding more effective ways to use existing resources.
For others it means developing new resources where there presently are
none. Whether children are in families with two parents who live together
or whether their parents live apart, they can benefit from a supportive
community that puts families first.
POSTSCRIPT
NEXT STEPS
The Need for More Research
The Commission was hampered in its deliberations by a scarcity of definitive
research on many subjects that were of concern. In addition, much of the
research that was examined by the Commission was dependent upon the emphasis
of the researcher, choice of study sample, and how the variables were measured,
making it difficult to compare one study to another. The Commission believes
there is a general need for studies that use larger, more representative
samples. Many of the existing studies are based on samples that do not
represent or compare adequately the full universe of married, divorced,
separated, and unmarried parents and their children. There also is a need
for more longitudinal studies. The effects of successful and unsuccessful
marriages, divorce, separation, out-of-wedlock birth, and various parental
decision-making, parenting time, and residential arrangements on the well-being
of children need to be studied over time. It is also important to more
clearly identify some of the factors that make a successful marnage and
to learn more about why marriages come apart. Finally, more carefully constructed
studies are needed to determine the extent of gender and other bias in
judicial decision-making and the effects of innovations in court procedures
(such as mediation) on helping separated, divorced, and unmarried parents
provide emotional and financial support to their children.
Recommendation 22:
Federal and State governments and other research funding sources
should sponsor additional research and disseminate findings on important
issues such as: 1) the elements of a successful marriage; 2) the causes
of divorce; 3) the effects of different parenting arrangements on children;
4) the impact of divorce on the well-being of children; 5) the well-being
of children of unmarried parents; and 6) the components of the current
legal system that promote or fail to promote the continued financial and
emotional support of children by both parents.
Promoting the Commission's Recommendations
The Commission believes that the modern family is facing issues today
that often throw it into turmoil. About 1 million children experience the
divorce of their parents each year. Close to another million are born to
unmarried parents. The recommendations contained in this report, if implemented,
will help ensure that children receive the emotional and financial support
of both their parents.
Many of the reforms will cost money, but the Commission believes they
are investments that must be made. Others will merely require refocusing
court and community efforts on family issues and engaging in concerted
outreach. Everyone needs to be better informed about what can be done to
assure that children receive the love, care and financial support they
deserve from both of their parents. "Parenting Our Children is in
the Best Interest of our Nation!"
Recommendation 23:
Federal, State, and local government and private entities should
participate in a broad public education program to promote the Commission's
recommendations.
APPENDIX A :
Record of Voting for the Final Report
The following duly appointed members of the U.S. Commission on Child
and Family Welfare voted on the final report and the recommendations contained
therein as follows:
Mary R. Cathcart Yes
Honorable Robert E. Robles Yes
Kathryn Monahan Ainsworth Yes
Donald R. Bardill Yes
Carol Statuto Bevan Yes
Nancy Duff Campbell Yes
George C. Cheek Yes
James C. Dobson Yes
John Guidubaldi No
Bill Harrington No
Barbara Sabol Yes
James G. Sherman Yes
Kaye Theimer Yes
Marna S. Tucker Yes
Cynthia Gulley Wiedemann Yes
The following duly appointed members of the U.S. Commission on Child
and Family Welfare prepared and submitted statements which are found in
Appendix D:
Donald R. Bardill
John Guidubaldi
Bill Harrington
Cynthia Gulley Wiedemann
APPENDIX B :
Biographies of the Commissioners
Mary R. Cathcart, Chair, Orono, Maine.
Ms. Cathcart was a member of Maine's House of Representatives from 1988
until 1994. She served on a number of boards and commissions concerning
child welfare, domestic violence, and juvenile corrections. Prior to her
legislative service, Ms. Cathcart was a Community Education Coordinator
for Spruce Run Association, a battered women's project, and served as a
member of the Maine Commission for Women. She is currently a candidate
for the Maine Senate.
Honorable Robert E. Robles, Vice Chair, Las Cruces, New Mexico:
Judge Robles was appointed District Judge by Governor Bruc:e King in
1991 and was subsequently elected to office in the Third Judicial District.
Judge Robles presides over all family law matters including dissolution
of matriage, custody, visitation, child support, paternity petitions, Violence
Protection Act petitions, and the Family Law Mediation program.
Kathryn Monahan Ainsworth, J.D., Portland, Maine:
Ms. Ainsworth is a founder of Resources for Divorced Families and through
this established KIDS FIRST: Parenting Through Divorce, an educational
program for parents. She is a trained family mediator and, as an attorney,
has focused on children's and family issues and court reform. She was thc
director of a commission that studied the future of Maine's courts and
serves on committees that work to utilize alternatives to the courts. Recently
she served as an American Bar Association consultant to the court system
in Latvia. She currently is a facilitator/mediator with the firm of Gosline,
Reitmen and Ainsworth, where she concentrates on collaborative problem
solving and conflict resolution.
Donald R. Bardill, Ph.D., Tallahassee, Florida:
Dr. Bardill is the former Dean of, and presently a Professor in, the
School of Social Work at Florida State University (FSU). Currently, he
is the Acting Training Director for the FSU Mazriage and Family Therapy
Clinic and editor of The Journal of Family Social Work. He has been the
president of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and
chief social worker at Walter Reed Hospital and has published articles
on the subject of children and the family.
Carol Statuto Bevan, Ed.D., Washington D.C.:
Dr. Bevan is a Professional Staff Member of the Human Resources Subcommittee
of the Committee on Ways and Means in the U.S. House of Representatives
(HOR). At the time of her appointment to the Commission she held the position
of Vice President for the National Council for Adoption. Dr. Bevan has
previously served as the Republican Staff Director of the Select Committee
on Children, Youth and Families, HOR. As an expert on child and family
issues Dr. Bevan has worked extensively to develop legislation related
to child and family welfare.
Nancy Duff Campbell, J.D., Washington, D.C.:
Ms. Campbell is an attorney and founder and Co-President of the National
Women's Law Center, an organization that for over 20 years has worked to
advance and protect the legal rights of women. An expert on income security
and family support issues, Ms. Campbell has helped develop and implement
key legislative initiatives, litigation, and public education programs
that benefit women and their families. She has served on several boards
and task forces, authored numerous publications, and been honored by the
District of Columbia Bar with its William J. Brennan Award for her legal
career dedicated to service in the public interest.
George C. Cheek, Mill Creek, Washington:
Mr. Cheek, a retired business cxecutive, is presently a consultant in
marketing and public affairs. Previously he was Senior Vice President for
Public Affairs for the Potlatch Corporation in San Francisco and Executive
Vice President of the American Forest Institute in Washington DC.
Jamcs C. Dobson, Ph.D., Colorado Springs, Colorado:
Dr. Dobson is a psychologist, author, and the founder and President
of Focus on the Family. This non-profit organization produces a nationally
syndicated radio program. Dr. Dobson has served on a variety of national
advisory boards, task forces, panels, and commissions. These have included
Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, the U.S. Army's Family Initiative,
the Panel on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, and the Advisory Board on Missing
and Exploited Children. Dr. Dobson is a clinical member of the American
Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
John Guidubaldi, Ed.D. Kent, Ohio:
Dr. Guidubaldi is a Professor of School Psychology and Education at
John Carroll University and Professor Emeritus at Kent State University.
He is past President of the National Association of School Psychologists
and the Portage County Family Counseling and Mental Health Center. He is
coauthor of the Battelle Developmental Inventory and the director of a
nationwide longitudinal study of the effects of divorce on children and
has published articles on the subject. Under a grant from the State of
Ohio, he studied the relationship of father involvement to child adjustment
in two large Ohio cities. He was the founder and editor of The School Psychology
Review and Highlights Magazine's Newsletter of Parenting.
Bill Harrington, Tacoma/Seattle, Washington:
Mr. Harrington is President of the American Fathers' Alliance in W ashington,
DC, an umbrella coalition of 280 fathers' rights organizations throughout
America. The Alliance is focused on national family policy issues and development.
In his role as a fathers' movement leader, Mr. Harrington testified before
both the U.S. Senate Finance Committee as well as the House Ways and Means
Committee in support of national welfare reform in 1994,1995 and 1996.
Mr. Harrington is employed as a legal assistant with priority on custody,
paternity, parental relocation, and child support issues. He is President
of Fathers' Rights in Washington State and is a board member of the Northwest
Men's Law Center based in Tacoma, Washington.
Barbara J. Sabol, R.N., Bethesda, Maryland:
Ms. Sabol is President of University Research Corporation, which provides
training in leadership development, management, health, education, and
communication services. Previously, she headed New York City's Human Resources
Administration, the nation's largest public welfare agency. Ms. Sabol also
is a member of the Boards of Directors for Girl Scouts USA and the American
Public Welfare Association.
James G. Sherman, ACSW, Peoria, Illinois:
Mr. Sherman is President and Chief Executive Officer of the Children's
Home Association of Illinois. The Association provides home-based services
to families to prevent the removal of children from their homes. The Association
also provides residential, group home, and transitional living services,
teen parenting programs, and mental health services for children. Mr. Sherman
is the Youth Exchange Officer of the Downtown Rotary Club and is a member
of the Board of Directors.
Kaye Theimer, Ph.D., San Francisco, California:
Dr. Theimer formed a consulting firm, Childworks Inc., which helps business
and government employers develop and implement family support programs
for their employees. More recently, Dr. Theimer formed a public/ private
partnership, the Partnership for Children, to mobilize community involvement
in improving the lives of children. She serves on the Board of Directors
of Children Now, a child advocacy organization with offic:es in Oakland,
Sacramento, and Los Angeles, California.
Marna S. Tucker, L.L.B., Washington, D.C.:
Ms. Tucker co-chairs the American Bar Association Commission on Domestic
Violence. She is a senior partner in the law firm of Feldsman, 'Ibcker,
Leifer, Fidell and Bank, practicing for over 25 years in the field of domestic
relations including divorce and custody. Ms. Tucker is a Fellow of the
American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and of the American College of
Trial Lawyers. In 1984, she was elected the first woman President of the
District of Columbia Bar.
Cynthia Gulley Wiedemann, Dallas, Texas:
Ms. Wiedemann is a consultant in public relations and marketing. She
was a member of the Texas Advisory Council on Domestic Violence for six
years and served on the boards of the Austin Battered Women's Center and
the Dallas Family Place. She is a former staffer for the U.S. Senate Judiciary
and Finance Committees.
APPENDIX C:
Commission Staff and Acknowledgements
COMMISSION STAFF
Administration and Research
Marianne Rufty, Executive Director
Kevin Costigan, Associate Director
Debra Pontisso, Associate Director
David B. Smith, Consultant
Justine Truesdale, Professional Staff
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The Commission gratefully appreciates the following experts who generously
contributed their time and knowledge to the Commission's endeavor:
Katharine Bartlett, Duke University School of Law
Charlene Depner, Judicial Council of California
Dana Farthing-Capowich, State Justice Institute
Hunter Hearst, National Council for Juvenile Justice
Ronald Mincy, Ford Foundation
Theodora Ooms, Family Impact Seminar
Maria Elena Onego, Family Resource Coalition
Judge Robert Page, Superior Court, Camden County, NJ
David Pate, Paternal Involvement Demonstration Project
Jessica Pearson, Center for Policy Studies
Isolina Ricci, Judicial Council of California
Ralph Smith, Annie E. Casey Foundation
Finally, the Commission especially acknowledges and appreciates the
written and public personal testimony of more than 250 public and expert
witnesses who generously shared their time, insights and personal experiences.
Guidubaldi Report
Harrington Report
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